its simple: stop hanging out with her. Cut her loose. wtf?

she's trifling.
then again come to think of it, her girlfriend is the best way to see if dude she is seeing has any morals.

got to look at both sides of the picture right?

at a certain point in life, u just find that those kinds of 'friends' fall to the wayside. i could not have been the slut's friend and i damn sure woulda been in her ass by now about my man!
xilla, i am loving how u stay on the cutting edge with shyt. the layout is great, and user-friendly. lol.

You're absolutely right Brother Omi. So she can consider this a test of all test.

Thanks Anonymous!! i was up all last night updating the layout I think this one is much better than the last one... i have some things I need to tweak but It's coming along!

well, maybe not too user-friendly after all. i wrote the comment bout getting in the slut's ass before she falls to the wayside. lol

I would not let my friend around my man. I have a friend who likes to be miserable and have company. So I learned don't let her come around a relationship if I really want it. I would tell her off and tell that bitch to respect the code women have among each other and if she can't...stomp that bitch in the ground

Gumbo!!! I was wondering why you had to be anonymous!! lol but it's not that hard to follow is it?

Sierra, you don't like other females do you? You're like a mean dog w/ a bone!! Diddling aunties and miserable best friends... I hear you baby!! I hear you!!

Thats why I male sure all my friends are happily married and maybe the guy should just not talk back to her you think? Keep it moving! If the guy is telling her he is talking to her could be a good sign let the girl know he not into her and if she could not write im any longer if he don't want to get "comfy" with her like that

Well...first if its a man "I am dating", he's not [my] man and its really open season. When he's not with her, I'm sure he's not by the phone waiting on her to call. He's [dating] just like SHE is dating. So, until there is some form of mutual exclusivity agreement, he his bound to no one. In regard to your friend, you already know how [your] friend is in character and personality. You said she is YOUR FRIEND and that you LOVE HER. So, are you [really] angry with her that she is extra-personable and able to get into a mans graces and comfort zone easily or are you angry that it takes you some time to achieve what she can do in a matter of minutes/hours/days. You made a point earlier---

My HomeGirl (6/25/2007 11:26:01 AM): well, she hooked up with "other dude"... now monday she's hitting on my dude
My HomeGirl (6/25/2007 11:26:19 AM): well, maybe not hitting... but becoming "comfy"

She wasn't hitting on him, but comfortable in her own skin. If you want him, then stop focusing on what she is doing and stake your claim, make yourself known(to him). Otherwise, while you're playing the "woe is me" game, he may [just] get comfortable in [her] skin as well. Based on your msg I believe that if your friend 'really' wanted this dude, she could have had him. She's just being herself. And, you don't HATE her. You hate that youre not secure enough in yourself to occasionally be like her.

That's why I don't have many female friends & the ones that I do have don't be around the men I date.

So Softly Say, is there no Honor among thieves? I say this because out of all the competition out there why should you compete w/ a team mate? Friends shouldn't compete with each other in relationships should they? I mean If she'll do it with a dude she's dating wouldn't she do it when a dude she's with?

I'm just saying, I believe there has to be some sort of code here doesn't it?

Sup Nikz, we always comment around the same time... how are you doing today? Good I hope. I mean so if i wanted to come through w/ a one of my boys you couldn't hook him up? Hmmm I smell a blog topic.

Thats why its called dating. And the ONLY lack of honor here is the GIRL not telling her friend how she feels and posting it here for answers. How can you develop a solution if you don't state the problem.? I believe that the problem is no so much that the girlfriend is getting comfy, but that YOUR friend really likes dude and she is not getting the speedy results that she is looking for as far as reciprocation. I think the point is being missed that-THE FRIEND IS DOING WHAT SHE ALWAYS DOES, whether it is a guy being dated or in the grocery line. She is a personable person and this is what YOUR friend probably likes about her. But, when that socialite behavior is now in the presence of someone YOUR FRIEND wants to date...now its an issue. The comfy friend is not the issue. YOUR FRIEND IS. And being that [the] friend is comfortable with herself and her appeal. I highly doubt that this would be a COMPETITIVE situation.

I know a girl...i will use the the term "friend" loosely...who has done the same to me. She actually went on Myspace and ran thru the males on my friend's list. I have heard that she has made "friends" with about 5 people I have dated (either during or after we stopped dating). She has yet to sleep with any (as far as i know) but has gone as far to send them naughty pics of her pleasuring herself. Stuff like that. I have told the dudes about her but it's not like THEY are gonna stop contact. Me and her have actually got into it 2x about this nonsense. She made it sound like i was being SELFISH with the men i have dated. Like if i am not CURRENTLY dating them it shouldn't be a problem.

Oh...and question? How did your friend know that THE FRIEND was chatting the ex on myspace. Obviously SOMEONE had nothing to hide. Whether it is the EX or the FRIEND. This is not a Salt-n Pepa song. There is no I'LL TAKE YO MAN or Aaron Hall LETS CHILL. This is some simple...Will Smith, LETS GET JIGGY WIT IT. And Chill. Its JUST DATING.

And being that [the] friend is comfortable with herself and her appeal. I highly doubt that this would be a COMPETITIVE situation.

if she's trying to holla, at the same dude her friend is sleeping with it's a competition. And I mean, we are all adults here, who still asked to be someone's boyfriend or girlfriend it just happens doesn't it, Like during sex someone makes a declaration and wham!! there a couple.

But shorty shouldn't be all up in her friends dudes face. I wouldn't even allow that if I was dude! Nah shorty... it's the 80/20 rule you giving up a good chick for a career jump-off. so you went from an 80 to a 20. It's not a good look as a dude yet we do it all the time. See that's why I only Upgrade!

She made it sound like i was being SELFISH with the men i have dated. Like if i am not CURRENTLY dating them it shouldn't be a problem.

Hey Slim, I think that's part of the problem... Don't tell a dude, your friend is easy or fast or has a rep... b/c it's sort of like telling me not to touch the red button. b/c when all bets are off we go looking. We think oh i heard this chick is easy I gotta take this one home for the team. it's the Alpha male trait that animal gene in us all where we want to be the dominate gorilla and bang all the chicks in the tribe. And a lot of chicks feed the information and give dude the bait. But me I'm snitching. Let one of Best' girls try to holla at me I'm telling on them... Matter fact i'm bout to start making shirts that say I Snitch!

Softly Say... It's more than just dating. But I get what you're saying and I understand it... but if thats not the type of friend she is... then you don't do it. I have male friends who i know it's cool to holla at any chick they with, and other male friends who I know they will have a problem with me even looking at her. So I RESPECT my friends wishes.

I know my playa dudes who get pussy on the daily, they be like yo go ahead and smash this chick out all you gotta do is... So you have to know how to read these people.

but Myspace is pretty much in the open you know.

WOW, been there! Terrible and heartbreaking situation

I gotcha bruh!

Xilla, funny that you said that. I guess women really are different than men. If my man or some dude i am interested in tells me that his boy is a man-whore it does NOT make me want to test him out. Actually it makes me want to stay away from his trifling disease infested ass and inform all of my girls that might be interested in him that they need to make sure dude straps up 2x if they want to give it a whirl.

Softly Say you hit the nail on the head with this statement:

So, are you [really] angry with her that she is extra-personable and able to get into a mans graces and comfort zone easily or are you angry that it takes you some time to achieve what she can do in a matter of minutes/hours/days.

HomeGirl is very insecure. She should have checked her before she introduced her "friend" to her "man."

Homegirl should not take all damn year to try and figure out her man. It is obvious that she is not paying extra attention to her man. Her friend finds out little tidbits about him through conversation, body language, et al.

She is going to spend way more time and energy trying to keep her friend from getting him when another chick will be able to come in and grab him.

IF A FRIEND FLIRTS WITH ANOTHER FRIEND SIGNIFICANT OTHER, THERE'S A RESPECT ISSUE THAT NEEDS TO BE ADDRESS... ASAP WOMEN HAVE AN UNSPOKEN CODE AND EVERY REAL WOMAN CAN ATTEST TO THIS............... BOYFRIENDS, EX-BOYFRIENDS (SOMETIMES FAMILY) ARE OFF LIMITS. THE FLIRTATIOUS FRIEND IS COMPARABLE TO A MAN THAT CHEATS REPEATEDLY, HE'S GOING TO KEEP CHEATING IT UNTIL *YOU* LEAVE THE RELATIONSHIP. LEAVE THE FRIEND BEHIND AND MOVE ON TO DISCOVER ANOTHER PROMISING FRIENDSHIP.

humm .. All is Fair in Love and War was the response when i busted my girl and now ex-husband in our living room and tried to kill them both! .. note: ex-husband! if your girl is creepen after your man .. it's time to speak up and put the situation in check n' move on .. if the man is responding to your girl's creepen .. it's time for a new man n' move on

what's up with the obama pic? LoL ..

...You can't TRUST females now and days. That may be her homegirl but obviously the line hasn't been drawn about ex's and limitaions becsue she doesnt know her friend is uncomfortable with her being slutty. You gotta lay down the law!

Me and my bestest know, "If I didnt want his ass...you should see why!" Hell, why whould we want each others leftovers?!? We instead do the homeboys homeboy approach.

Being cool with your girlfriends mate or partner is cool, that way you are in the up and up if some shiit pops off AND you can keep ya eyes open for him getting outta line...you get close, but not too close.LMAO. I can kick it with a few of my bestfriends ex's or what not to see whats on their mind, but it's innocent...I'm really more of a spy....

But as far as she is taking it with the chick, she might just need a good ass dragging.

Yup. A good ol fashioned in the street ass WHIPPING!

See that's why alot of females don't f*ck with other females. Seems like her friend gets off on coming on to her friends dudes. That's the same friend that would screw your man in your own home while you are at work. Not a good look.

Dump that hoe

I personally think that the point is being missed that chickie said DATING not boyfriend, not mate, not husband, not even f*ck buddy. Someone that she and her friend double dated with. But, whatever. I don't believe her friend to be a hoe as stated. And instead of a good old fashioned ass dragging, how about chickie get knocked upside the head so the sense can kick in. If he chumming up with the homegirl you shouldn't want him anyway, especially if he can divert his affections (or attention) that easily and without respect how she may potentially feel for him. Thats of course IF its that serious or mutuality had been verbalized. He'll he might just like the homegirl better that the friend. LOL

Its very sad that us WOMEN can not get along and RESPECT one anothers PERSONAL space/belongings. But in this situation I would just come to her like a woman and let her know that sheis totally out of FUCKIN line and see where she takes it. Sit back and OBSERVE. If anything happens between the two well HELL neither one of them was meant to BE.

Its very sad that us WOMEN can not get along and RESPECT one anothers PERSONAL space/belongings. But in this situation I would just come to her like a woman and let her know that sheis totally out of FUCKIN line and see where she takes it. Sit back and OBSERVE. If anything happens between the two well HELL neither one of them was meant to BE.

I don't know how people are these days with their friends, but even if I'm am only dating somebody, that dude is automatically off limits to my friends and vise versa. That keeps confusion away, and the dumb stuff that follows after it. But maybe that's just me and my friends.

No Xilla I'm not breaking a man & his homie off! The hell you think this is, the soup kitchen? In my hood we call the females that do stuff like that 'flippers',lol. I'm not a flipper, thank you!

PS: That goes for family too! Off limits!

Softly.. dating doesn't make it right!! So what it's not right when dudes do it and its not right when females do it. You don't holla at your friends people.

If I am thinking about dating a dude, it is understood that he is off limits--period!! I don't care if you a friend, cousin, sister, aunt, an associate, my stylist, my doctor. He is not to be touch.

How are you going to give her props and then combat her? See this is why i like you!! lol Where is Ninja girl?

Xilla, game recognizes game. That is why a lot of females hate on Karrine Steffans. Yes, I read her book (the first one). I give Ms. Steffans props. You know why? She is a smooth operator. She is able to find out tidbits of info just by being in a man's presence.

Xilla, I know you are going to ask would I hang around her? Not for too long: Pick up some tips, and drop that friendship real quick.

this is what i like to call 'testing the trust'. there is no need for it. just like you don't bring the overweight ugly friend to the party, you don't bring the hoes around your man. hell! hoes are fun for women too! when you male friends say 'bring a friend', who do you bring? the loose one! going to a party and you wanna act up and have the paprazzi trailing? bring the loose hoe (if she's cute). sometimes you need a friend who wont judge you when you feel the need to act 'out of character' ! that being said, i have that same kind of friend (note the absence of plural- you only need one) but this b!tch doesn't know my address let alone who my man is! and as far as context clues- i only use aliases for my partners, so i don't have to worry abotu how small the world is. she needs to keep that girl at arms distance. if she is worried about the man she is seeing already; consider that one lost, keep it casual, get in christmas and valentines day and drop his ass off when the weather gets warm. (you can't be slimming down the man rolodex in the winter girl, it's too cold to find a replacement in the ninth inning!)

Dang this is wild... I wouldn't know cause i ain't got no girlfriends.. in fact im lucky that the girls i chill with are either engaged to be married, and just had her mans child... so i don't need to worry about it in fact.. we all like different people... so i'd just say they should go their separate ways...

Ooooh Blogzilla you touched a nerve with THIS ONE!!!

Everyone kept telling me to drop this (fill in the blank) after she went out for a drink with a guy I liked last year. Didn't call me or nothing. Even though they went to high school together and she BARELY remembered his azz. High school or not, to me, it was WRONG and she knew it! It was cheesy excuse after another: "You went out with him twice already and I didn't get to hang out with him." "Oh, I knew you liked him, but I didn't think you liked him THAT much". You know what she did after she realized she fucked up? She sent me a cheesy Yahoo greetings card with some muscle man saying, "don't worry, there are other men out there." Like WTF? Was that guilt? Did they or didn't they?

Bottom line, and speaking from experience, that is wrong, wrong wrong!

loving the new look of things xilla!

this is an interesting post. i'd simply have to tell homegirl. if she is a woman about it, she knows that she has a reputation for getting too 'comfy' with dudes. and my dude would def not be one of them. i think that if you let someone know that ish is NOT going down no matter how friendly it is, then as a friend she should respect that and stop messaging him.

loving the new look of things xilla!

this is an interesting post. i'd simply have to tell homegirl. if she is a woman about it, she knows that she has a reputation for getting too 'comfy' with dudes. and my dude would def not be one of them. i think that if you let someone know that ish is NOT going down no matter how friendly it is, then as a friend she should respect that and stop messaging him.

^^^^^If you ask me I'd say she was rubbing it in your face. Drop her fast, before later on in life you end up catching a case.

honestly 9 out of 10 has a friend das like that down the line, u jus gotta kno where to draw the line wit ur friends and deal wit them from a distance...dis da same reason why u dont tell ur friends every aspect of u and ur dude..and i would never b hangin on a day to day basis wit a ho i dont trust. watch da company u keep!

I'm with 'Softly Says'
sorry people, but I think many people are missing the real issue here.
The man is not your friends man. And by the look of things, he has no intention of being her man.

I wonder sometimes at the way we use certain terms such as 'friend'.
This is not kindergadern, If you like a man, tell him and let him know where you stand, his response will tell you where he stands.
but to stand around and say.. 'ohh I liked him, and my friend stole him from me'. Sorry, he doesn't belong to you.
And just cos you like a guy doesn't make him your possession.

S, you double dated and unfortunately your dates hit it off instead of you.... ahhh oh well... more fish in the sea.. MOVE ON.
Blogxilla, your friends insecurity is her problem, not her girlfriend.

One word: Boundaries

I don't think that I should have to officially brand him "My Man" for my friend to know her boundaries in interacting with him. The guy sounds like he's an innocent bystander caught in the middle of something that doesn't really involve him.

If he's a stand-up guy, then he'll recognize what's what and stay within his boundaries. Keep in mind that all friends are not created equal and friendships are just like any other relationship - they're all different. Different people play different positions and you shouldn't expect to be able to trust all of your friends equally.

This is where you establish your boundaries.

I cannot go for that

I'd physically AND mentally and Figuratively and Literally Will excise BOTH tumors out of my life, because, let's see:

IF you are my committed dude (and I'm NOT talking about a dude I'm doing semi-regularly while no "Talk" has been had) and you don't have enough HONOR and BACKBONE and SENSE to not touch shit like that, then I'm too much woman for you

IF you are my girl, my family , my chosen family, my play (or real) cousin and I can bring dick around you cause you start attention whoring or trying to cross the line ... Then I'm too much woman for you too

Simply put it's girl code that you don't do dirty shit like that (no exes, no hook-ups, no nothing) if I saw you with a friend you might as well have a vagina, I'm not touching/seeing/fucking around with that