Mommy What's This? Why Is It Buzzing
Let's just say you're minding your own business in your own house. You could be washing dishes, reading a book, surfing the web, or just plain ole watching the Negro Channel [That's BET] and then your child comes to you, their left arm shaking like crazy trying to control the powerful vibrations coming from the toy in their hand. The look of shock invades your face, as you realize your child just found your toy box.
I was strolling through my parents room, looking for some change to go down to hollywood chicken to get myself a triple decker cheeseburger so as I was looking for the change stash i found something even better. My stepfathers porn stash. All that summer I was in heaven, going in and out of their room to pull different collections of smut. There were white chicks, black chicks, threesomes, orgies, and they were all doing some things I still haven't found a name for today. But this set me up to walk into the corner store whenever I had a few extra bucks in my pocket to purchase my own smut and build my collection to 4 Nike shoe boxes full of pure unadulterated SMUT!
One day while I was in the house by myself, I needed a release so i went into my box, pulled out a tape Black Nurses 4 to be exact. I popped it in the VCR and fast forwarded to my favorite scene of this caramel brown hottie w/ boobs the size of Watermelons on a summer day and lips that rivaled Angelina Jolie's. I was hard as a rock, I pulled out and worked out my tool like it's name was Arnold SwarzenNegro the Anaconda. A lot of people don't understand the ManXilla is a muscle and it needs to be worked out sometimes. But after I was done I cleaned up, threw my balled up napkin in the trash and left the house. 
Upon my return, my mother and sister was sitting in the living room. My sister in her 4ft 10 frame said o0o0o you're in trouble. My mother proceed to pull something out of her lap. Yep you guest it, my VHS tape, Black Nurses 4. I was so embarrassed. My heart dropped as my mother cursed me out and my sister explained that I actually left it playing in the VCR, and how lucky i was that she was the first person upstairs b/c what if her kids would have seen it. My mother took my tape and told me to go to my room and that she would trash my porn tape. Needless to say My favorite porn was gone for about a week until one day I come home and find it neatly sitting on the pillow of my bed. I guess they just wanted to watch it, or respected my taste in smut. I was back in the living room Stroking first free chance I had!
So my Question to you is this:
Have you ever found your parents Porn/Toy stash? Or has anybody ever Found your stash of goodies? You know the Videos, or the Toys?Speak.
Comments
Lol. I have found my parents stash and they hid in a obvious ass place. Then they moved it to this lil closet which they used to lock and then they stopped locking it. It was all right porn but I would have to say I did have a love for porn after that...good porn not shitty porn. Anywho no one has ever found my stash because I know and where to hide it.
Posted by: sierra | December 20, 2007 08:30 AM
I have never found my parents stash. I am glad I didn't, that revelation would have sent me to therapy.
No one has found the stash. It is in a very well hidden place.
Posted by: cassaie | December 20, 2007 08:38 AM
Xilla, When did this happen...it sounds like it wasn't that long ago...LOL.
I found my Aunt & Uncle's stash the summer I turned 13. Me, my sister and my cousin (who was 15) waited til my aunt went to work (she worked the nightshift)and we popped in the porn tape. I remember all 3 of us sitting on the pull out bed watching an asian girl getting pounded out by a skinny pasty british dude. Then, my much older cousin came home. We stopped the tape and all jumped in the bed and prentended to be sleeping.
People find my toy all the time. I leave it under my pillow in my bed.Just in case i need a quick fix. I am grown. I don't hide shit. People have definately complained. LOL
Posted by: slimting | December 20, 2007 09:44 AM
I bet i could find it cassie I'm like enclycopedia brown
Posted by: Xilla | December 20, 2007 10:14 AM
slimting you nassy!!!! fresh self!! lol i love it though
Posted by: Xilla | December 20, 2007 10:18 AM
Oh, I forgot...you are nosy as hell.
Posted by: cassie | December 20, 2007 10:19 AM
Sie, I think i remember when you wrote that the last time. :-)
Posted by: Xilla | December 20, 2007 10:27 AM
Yep I sure am!!! lol I'll get all up in your kool-aid and know the flavor
Posted by: Xilla | December 20, 2007 10:58 AM
LOL, slim. You are really keeping it real!!
Posted by: cassie | December 20, 2007 11:21 AM
I HAD THE MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT AROUND 5 YRS AGO. ME AND MY KIDS FATHER MADE A TAPE OF US ONE NIGHT. ONE DAY HE DECIDED HE WANTED TO WATCH OUR TAPE. MY GUESS IS SOMETHING CAME UP AND MAYBE HE WAS IN A RUSH TO LEAVE THE HOUSE BECAUSE HE LEFT THE TAPE IN THE VCR. SO I'M COMING HOME WITH MY MOM AND KIDS IN TOW, MY YOUNGEST DAUGHTER DECIDES SHE WANTS TO WATCH TV (AT THE TIME WE DIDN'T HAVE CABLE) SO SHE PUSHES THE VCR TAPE IN............... AND ON MY SCREEN WE SEE ME RIDING MY BOYFRIEND. THE VIDEO CAPTURED US ON THE COUCH SO BASICALLY YOU ONLY SAW MY BACK AND ASS.........BUT FOR YOUR MOM AND KIDS TO SEE THAT..............IT WAS SO EMBARRASSING
Posted by: work wit me | December 20, 2007 11:21 AM
OMG!!! Work WIT ME!! WOW I made a tape and I lost it.. my fear is one day when we decide to look at family videos they find it!! and be like OMG LAMAR so i'm not going to laugh at this one
Posted by: Xilla | December 20, 2007 12:00 PM
Thanks, Cassie! I try ;-)
Posted by: slimting | December 20, 2007 12:06 PM
Lawd, Xilla, that is one of my fears. I remember me and my ex made a tape and that nicca wanted to show it to his friends!! Best believe, I burned and buried that tape.
Posted by: cassie | December 20, 2007 12:38 PM
you burned it? i thought i seen't it on Rude
Posted by: Xilla | December 20, 2007 12:52 PM
You got jokes today!!
Posted by: cassie | December 20, 2007 01:23 PM
All day err day you know it
Posted by: Xilla | December 20, 2007 01:41 PM
You need to be on YIM more.
Posted by: cassie | December 20, 2007 03:08 PM
LOL, yeah I found my folks stash but not a single VCR was working in the house at the time! By the time I had a plan the damn thing was gone.
Posted by: Mike | December 20, 2007 05:06 PM
well i never found anything like porn tapes my grandparents ya know.. but to my shock and horror i found condoms in my grandma's dresser draw...that was enough for me turns out my mom gave them to her....they were old i mean the expiration date was in the 70's.... lol.... When I was 11 me and my best friend in JHS found her older bro's porno well i did in the vcr... I was entranced... then we went on to find her dad's porno about madame mambo and her quest for magic balls lol... oh then there was the time we filled her parents condom with water and it exploded(get it) all over my friend lol.. ahh memories....
Posted by: rebecca | December 20, 2007 06:20 PM
I remember when I was like in 2nd grade soo my sister had to be in the 6th and my sister and I found one of my mom's tapes...soo curious we watched the tape in the living room while my mom was sleep in her bedroom. My sister had me on the lookout sooo every now and then I would go and stand in the hall to make sure she wasn't coming. The last time I stood in the hall my mom was walking down the hallway, soo I proceeded to continue to walk and go to my room.(of course I laid down like I was going to sleep) When my mom walked in the Living room my sister immediately stopped the tape. My mom was like what was that and saw what we were watching we both got our ass whoop that night. And every since that day I've been a porn connoisseur. I might have a serious problem I have a shoe box with close to 200 DVD's.
Posted by: CRUSH | December 20, 2007 08:00 PM
My son has found my toy. *LOL* Now he keeps "finding" it and I have now gone to locking my door when I leave the house even if I leave with him and the key goes where ever I go like "My Buddy" (you know...My buddy, my buddy, where ever I go, he goes my buddy, my buddy...). I don't have very many toys to my collection, but trust me when I tell you I'm adding to it and my door will end up with a deadbolt and several chains on it and I will have to start going out my back door. *LOL*
I did, however, explain it to him sort of, what it was. It was more like "it's mine, don't touch it and none of your business what I do with it".
Needless to say, I was mortified when he found it
Posted by: LadyT38 | December 20, 2007 08:48 PM
HAHAH LadyT I bet you were... I mean whoa!! I can't imagine my kid finding my stash!! its not well hidden. In a box right next to my computer! But still if she did i wouldnt know what to do
Posted by: BlogXilla | December 20, 2007 09:18 PM
i plead the fif
lmao
Posted by: AB~ | December 21, 2007 03:20 AM
we had a satellite with illegal hookup so you know we had the spice channel back in the day when you could still see URRTHING... and the American XXXstacy channel. So nobody needed a porn stash in our house lol. recently i found my roommate's porn stash and it's lame. anyone else i've lived with has left their porn out in the open so i never had to search very hard to find some smut. i never needed to start my own collection either... just watch someone else's. i did, however, use to run off with my dad's and uncle's dirty magazines.
Posted by: chichilicious | December 21, 2007 08:40 PM
Ah shiznit!
Posted by: Marcus Langford | December 22, 2007 12:13 AM