Bathroom & Boogers
Hump Day Special - Bathrooms & Boogers
**Disclaimer** This blog is quite random
Have you ever been holding a conversation with something and as you're looking them in the eye you notice a monster booger hanging from their nose? This seems to happen to me very often. It use to take me quite a while to get up the courage to tell them they have a booger dangling from one of their nose hairs but now i just come out and be like "yo you might wanna get the monster trying to escape from your nostril. Why do people let us walk around looking crazy? its not like it decided to slide down and come see me once it heard my voice it's probably been hanging out all day. Another thing i have noticed is that in most men's room i go into is there is booger right next to the handle of every urinal. I never understood this, I'm a man and most men think pretty much alike but i never had the urge to pick my nose and whip a booger on the wall while my dick was in my hand. I mean what is this some unwritten man code that I don't know about? Maybe it's just proof that I'm a supreme sexual being.
My last job once sent out a mass e-mail went out telling all the woman in my office to clean up after themselves. It just so happens that I'm extremely cool w/ the office go to lady. You know the lady who takes care of everything in the office from supplies to mail to coordinating every damn thing that goes on in the office? Some of you are probably her. But she comes by as she does everyday to hold our daily conversation and I asked her if it was really that bad in the women's bathroom. Well i asked b/c beside from the boogers on the wall the men's room is spotless. If you don't count the mystery guy who never flushes the toilet. 
Anyway, she explains to me that the women's bathroom is a complete and utter mess. That's right folks I work w/ a bunch of fishy chickens. She told me that there is weave in the sink, a gang of hair on the counters and the trash can's and toilets are both filled w/ sanitation napkins. And today one woman actually left one on the floor. I can only imagine what some of their homes look like, not like my pad is something you would see on cribs b/c i live like Reggie Noble himself... Jersey! She also told me that they miss the seat and piss if sprinkled all over the toilets and they don't even whip after themselves. It's this one chick in there who I know stinks. I think she may be the culprit of some of those heinous crimes. I was on the elevators w/ her one day and we were talking about my hair since she was thinking about getting locks and as i opened my mouth to eagerly tell her about my hair and suddenly the stench of her twat crawled up from under her panties, out of her pants through the air and into my nose. I shut up immediately. Held my breathe while the elevator crawled down 2 flights.
Also while talking to my sweetie, who while driving home from the club one night called me to keep her company and entertain her while she focused on holding her piss b/c she told me the female bathroom at the club was pretty much of the same. But that understandable being that it's a bunch of drunk woman trying to keep their big ole booties off the seat a bunch of other flithy chicks have already peed all over. But I guess the point of all of this is why are female bathrooms so nasty when every chick i been w/ has been extremely clean freaks. Is it to impress the man? or are females really that damn nasty. So as I sit in my office in my own world pissed off that there are no woman i would even remotely think about sleeping with I wonder what was the worst bathroom you've ever been in?
Comments
Lol, maybe you just know how to pick clean girls. I'm not a clean freak but I know how to keep house. Yes, it is a traumatic experience for me in almost every ladies room that I've visited. I don't get it either, why women don't treat those bathrooms like they treat their own. At my job we have specific instuctions on how to use the ladies room. In each stall they posted these rules, including wiping the seat afteer use, removal of the toilet guards, courtesy flushing, wrap & dispose of sanitary products, the whole nine. You think they take heed? Not at all! Trifling heifers! All I know is god bless our cleaning crew, because that bathroom always looks like a hurricane hit it.
Posted by: hottnikz | December 7, 2007 08:40 AM
boogers in the stall though? how do you make the determination that it truly is a booger? and with all that toilet paper around, why don't they just use that? And as far as men goes, I've been cleaning up behind my brothers & other males almost all my life. Men are NOTORIOUS for missing their aim pissing all on the floor! So you mean to tell me that yall get your act together when in public?! This is an outrage! I demand that you guys use that same aim while @ home. Thaank a bunch!
Posted by: hottnikz | December 7, 2007 08:48 AM
Sup Nikz so it is all females bathroom. I'm really thinking of changing my opinion on women... yall nassy
Posted by: BlogXilla | December 7, 2007 09:21 AM
Yes some women are 'nassy', especially that chick on the elevator. How in the hell you smell her box from where you were at? Horrible! But please address why the men can't aim right? I'm about to start making my son clean the bathroom, I'm sick of that!
Posted by: hottnikz | December 7, 2007 10:10 AM
I mean we aim it's the drip that gets us the aim ain't the problem it' the drip we have to lean in to get the drip to land in the water.. lol or it's that first gush in the stream that's a little wild too i'm focused though.
Posted by: BlogXilla | December 7, 2007 10:17 AM
Really?
Posted by: BlogXilla | December 7, 2007 01:05 PM
Damn - thats hella nashtay - I will tell u automatic flushing toliets r a dealbreaker for most women - I mean if a toliet flushes too close to u dick its not much contamination - but an all out unauthorized splash of toliet water is like germ tsunami to the poom poom - I believe thats how most drip incidents occur - so watch out for the flush and do as Tyra says - don't let ya panties tap the edge of the bowl while ur trying not to sit - thats direct contact and then directly into the poom poom or the butt crack - for the remainder of the day - so tippy toes and lean forward!
Posted by: vhision | December 8, 2007 01:17 AM
damn man i didnt know girls be like dat in the bathroom...
Posted by: $pot | December 8, 2007 02:26 PM
nastiest bathroom!?
well the mens bathrooms are clean for the most part. buh some of the women tell me crazy stories!!
aight so im @ work oneday and i hear some girl had thrown up ALLOVER the damn bathroom!
another woman went to sleep in the bathroom for like 2 hrs...
one ex coworker had a miscarriage in the bathroom @ work....
i usually use the single bathroom downstairs, buh last wk someone didnt flush and it wasnt a pretty sight....
Posted by: afro jamaicano | December 8, 2007 07:56 PM
The nastiest bathroom I have ever been in was at my last job (a law firm).
Posted by: cassandra | December 8, 2007 10:13 PM
i think the microwaves in my work area are almost as nasty as the bathrooms haha!
Posted by: afro jamaicano | December 8, 2007 10:24 PM