Yeah... Hip Hop Is Dead.

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I was thinking of the worlds fascination of sex in a car.. believe it or not I have never got Head in the whip with or without crashing it. I've never figured out how to get it popping. I mean how do you ask for head w/o sounding like a complete and utter jerk? hey Baby suck my dick? Now I have learned that on some occasions you can just wave it in your girls face and Wah Lah. But there has to be an understanding. I guess I just need to learn a bit of patience.

Sad I know, I have however had relations in the back seat I remember the exact day, New Years Day 1998 w/ a co-worker from my job path mark. Her little brother was home so we had to creep out to my 4 door Plymouth duster we got it in and I was tearing it up I must say I fulfilled my fantasy of the moment to be one w/ someone as the ball dropped until I caught a cramp!! The worst cramp I ever felt in my life maybe it was just a virgin mistake maybe not but I know it hurt like a mother chucker!

Fast Forward a few years I go over to this girls house, who happens to live w/ her mother. She invites me over, I ask where is mom? She explain she's at church and she's not coming home anytime soon. You see mom is one of those all night church goer. So the house is ours. We chill out on the couch watching a movie, sipping on some drinks having a good time. Shorty is treating me like a king. She gave me a foot massage. So I hopped up on the couch chilling big will style getting my foot rub. Drinks are done. So she get up to go refill the drinks. As she walks into the kitchen I sit on the couch feet up feeling like a king. I hear a key in the door. Its moms who walks in and sees me laying on her couch like Snoop Dog in Baby Boy. She says hi and walks to the back of the house. I shift my position quick as hell almost pulling a muscle.

She comes back in laughing and says her mom is mad cool so I wrote it off and we decide to pick up the Xbox and play a little bit of Basketball. I never played Xbox before but I know she can't beat me, sure enough I am right. She took a 10 point lead but when i got the hang of it I ended up winning by 10. Rematch of course, she picked the 80's all stars I picked like The Bobcats or somebody, I was up by 30 at halftime. So she starts cheating, Kissing on me feeling on me yada yada yada. I put the game on pause and we go at it. She doesn't want to go all the way and I'm cool w/ that but our primal emotions get the best of us. It's 2 am mom is in the room sleep. Her daughter is on the couch wearing only a bra. She says lets get on the floor so we do, and it's getting serious the ManXilla has been hard all night long and I'm about to get some head. I'm standing there holding my dick and right as i'm about to put it on her lips... A light comes on and moms walks into the living room and peeks in and looks right at me holding the ManXilla. I go soft in a milla second embarrassed as hell.

She says her moms is cool again and that she's blind. Her mom didn't say anything so maybe her mother really can't see but her moms is half nekkid herself and at 2am she goes into the kitchen. I'm thinking okay maybe she's going to get a glass of water or something so I wiggle my nekkid body under the sheet on the floor. But mom doesn't get a glass of water mom proceeds to wash her hair. I couldn't get it back up after that, well I did but I was done like 2 minutes later the mood was ruined as well as my rep. I would later make it up and get some of the best head ever... yep that toe curling type of head but my pride is still sitting in the sink of that kitchen w/ a few pieces of this ladies mother's hair.

So what was your most embarrassing experience?!!! And whats the fascination w/ the back of the whip?

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As I pound at the keyboard my mind walks though a forgotten stairwell. Thrown away like an empty bag of Rap Snack Potato chips. My words fall on death ears, my feelings are meaningless as the echos of my footsteps sing the same song of old. It's about more than just you. I guess getting the respect you deserve, or should I say the respect you FEEL you deserve, is simply an unread footnote in the book of life.

All throughout my life I've had to come to grips with being who I am. A spectacular mind, soft lips and never nothing more than dick. Yeah I can fuck, but I want to be more than the dude who could blow a back out. Remnants of what could be a relationship flash before my eyes. But as I reach the top of the stairs I find the final unwritten chapter of revelation stares me in my crayon brown eyes. It's not them it's you.

The Book read, "your selfish to believe that by giving someone all your attention means they should do the same. By trying to make someone your Queen warrants them to crown you their king. The King their words describe you as. You're stupid to think they can know of the ways you will treat them off only one to a few brief conversations. You're not the a great guy they proclaim you to be. It's all your imagination. And on this day you're imagination has abandoning you."

A heavy sneeze breaks my concentration as I watched the clock on my computer go from 12:30 to 1:30 to 3:30 as quick as my eyes can blink. As my imagination walks down the stairs after handing me the note, I can hear it mumbling words of my own perceived greatness. "Sorry Ass Nigga"

Yet as I'm left at the top of the stairwell, my head hung in shame I glance up and realize that this old broke down corridor has a beautiful view. I can see the city skyline, glowing in all of its essence. It's at this moment while I'm alone that I still feel like a champion. I feel better than ever, I feel like I can be myself, that I KNOW the greatness of who I am even if others fail to realize it. I am the king of Kings.

Thank you for taking the time to read my scribes. While you're here don't forget to subscribe and tell a friend about the site. Thank you, just knowing that you've read and hopefully enjoyed my work is a humbling experience.

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Now knowing all that I know, I realized that us men make a lot of mistakes when it comes to dating. Maybe the number one mistake we make is taking a lady to Chateau Break A Negro on the first date. This leaves very little room for improvement, because if you go all out on the first date then the 2nd date can't be to the movies and McDonald's. You're already going down hill so I'm going to give all the guys out there a little advice. Start in the middle and work your way up. And The Movies should never be the first date, unless it's a jump off b/c you already know whats about to transpire. ( That means go down for all hood dudes out there)

The first date should be something where you can get to know this lucky person who has the privilege to be in your company for the evening. So try to do something that shows them how wonderful you are, here are a few ideas.

Take her shopping, - Ask her to come along with you to the mall and help you pick out some clothes. Females have a great eye for fashion, and they love to shop. So already you'll be different from other dudes who hate to go along and carry all their bags and snort perfume. (that's right I said SNORT) Also you'll get to see what type of lady she is, does she like the dude with the pants falling off their ass, the button up blazer guy or the Kayne West scarf wearing dude. You can learn a lot from what a female wears. It's inexpensive being that you're spending money on yourself and if you're really balling you can buy them something as well. After word you can stop at a nice middle restaurant and grab a bite to eat. All the while you're talking and building rapport with the lady who could be your next girlfriend.

Go Get Your Nails Done - That's right go to the Korean Nail shop and both of you get your nails done, This allows the both of you time to talk, maybe even make up a new language while the Koreans are talking about how f'ugly your feet are in Korean. Also it shows her that you are the type of guy who cares about his appearance. There is nothing wrong with a dude having nice nails and feet that won't scar her legs when the 2 of you finally get into bed together.

Go For A Walk - After dinner, or a movie go on a nice long walk down the main stripe of your city. Maybe you can even pay a street musician to provide a nice soundtrack to the end of your date. You can hold hands and put your arms around each other and it can be like a scene from one of your favorite movies.

All of these are simple ways to gain numerous Kool points on a first date, it breaks the monotony of boring lets go to the movies, after you got her number in a club, bar, or wherever else you met them. So be different and be original. This is also part 1 of a week long series . Don't forget to subscribe while you're here and tell a friend about the website and my blogs. Thanks for your time.

What's was your best First Date?

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Last night I went to the club, normally I would have prowled the dance floor and bar for someone to bring home but my celibacy and "Best" has it so thats not even an option. So instead I came home and watched Tela Tequila's reality show. All I could think of is why? What has this chick done other than sit on myspace and collect friends that would grant her a reality show? Now I can't be mad at her hustle but for real? Can someone please explain if it's supposed to be reality TV why is the formula for all of these shows the same?

A group of socially defunct people, one gay guy or girl, one black person, a whore, a slut and one person who has no clue whatsoever of what's going on oh and let's not forget the pretty preppy white boy. I watched this train wreck and threw up a little bit in my mouth. Now I have my own idea for a reality show, like to hear about it? Well here it goes.

First you take someone and give them a job that pays them just enough to pay there bills and eat ever other day. Maybe even have their obnoxious boss who patrols the job looking for reason to act like they have some sort of say over your life. Note to the Corporation, I don't care about your profits as long as I show up, I'm only doing just enough not to get fired so I can continue to get a check so I can eat tomorrow.

Then we'll have a film crew follow them around all day long as they fuck up their bank account, try to understand the man at the bodega, liquor store and check cashing place, (Why can't we come up with a better name for these places other than check cashing place) I firmly believe that watching a person come up with different ways to eat Ramen noodles would be a lot more entertaining than someone getting a key, clock, or life saver.

Now of course you would have to have some sort of love interest. So here what I'll do, give the person like 3 lovers and watch them maneuver through lies and setting up dates. And then right when the relationship is budding and they finally invite the person over to the house the lights get shut off b/c the producers forgot to pay the bill. So film them with a night vision battery operated camera as they walk out in the middle of the night and cut the lights back on, or have a dinner date of cold ramen noodles in the dark. Now that's reality and entertainment.

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Erykah Badu was on a message board and someone asked her: who she would rather face in a fight, Lauryn Hill, Jill Scott or Alicia Keys? This is what she said:

"well lets see.... alicia seem like she a 'face scratcher' so imma pass . jill will beat THEE shit out a nigga so im straight. ill go round with L boogie tho we in the same weight class and if i train for a few months i just might knock the zion out that ass..."

So It got me to thinking of all the girl fights I've seen in my life. The boobs & ass popping out, people getting hit w/ pumps, and the numerous girls jumping in. So I have 2 Questions, what was your most memorable fight. And if you could fight anyone who would it be?

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We all love sex, some even like for it to hurt a little bit. See, now when it comes to pain there is a fine line between hurt and injured. Allow me to tell you a story.

I'm sure this has happened to most of the fellows out there. Your out w/ your lady, just caught a movie, she's full from the wonderful dinner at her favorite restaurant, a little tipsy from the drinks and laughs... basically she's in the mood. And tonight isn't the night when you feel like making love, it's playoff time, and all that hard hitting has put you in the mood to FUCK!

You walk in the door grab your lady throw her over the couch and proceeds to start fucking! It's getting good, her moans are turning you on more and more, with each rocket propelled thrust, she grunts and toots her ass up just a bit. Here is the time for the Deep 9, you pull out just enough for the tip of the head to still be inside her, prepared to give her the long stroke of pain and pleasure. Only thing you pulled out a few inches too far, and you're no longer attached to her love tunnel. But the Rocket Power motion of the hips doesn't have time to cut the engine off and BAM!! You ram your Johnson right into the crease of her Booty bending it on her butt bone!!!

If that enthusiastic thrust misses it's mark, and you hear a outburst full of expletives and a pop! You need to rush him to the ER for something other then a 4 hour erection.

Men aren't the only one prone to injuries in the bedroom, ladies get hurt too. Let's say you and your man are involved in some hot and steamy sex on the floor, and you get a case of what I like to call the crawls, you know that inching back, that defines the term poetry in motion! (why do y'all do that) And 30 minutes later your back is bleeding w/ a severe case of RUG BURN.

There is also that moment when things go too fast and dude doesn't wash his hand before touching your bloggers delight, or him not showing your kitty the proper amount of attention and entering you before he's got the cat purring until it's drooling... Okay your DRY and now it's all irritated and tender and it's a wrap for the night.

So when you go out this weekend, take care of yourself... I think we need to call up Geico for some of that so easy a caveman can do it Pussy/Penis insurance. Before we end up in the ER walking w/ a limp like Dewey From Scream!

What's the worst Injury You Had During Sex?

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We all know the movie, one of a ghetto girls rise to fame and her epiphany that life is meaningless without the ones she love. Well my trip was Refreshing to say the least. I arrived by plane, to the chaos of Newark International Airport. My 5 year old and a bunch of bags in hand. Back in NJ for the first time in months. Prepared for a long stay, and nothing but time on my hands. Time to think and unwind and get away from my new life and experience my old life for a while.

My first stop was aunt's house, I haven't been there in years and it was good to sit in her one bed room apt which has and will always be the same. From there I took a detour to my best friend's house, who I haven't seen in 2 years, He came to the door high as a kite. Still living at home w/ his mom's and still not allowed to have company at the age of 29. Things don't change. It was good seeing him, his philosophy on life is unmatched and his words left a lasting impression on my life as they always do. But next was the real test...

My Grandmother's house. Well more like my Dad's mother's house. Again exactly the same from the last time I been there at the tender age of 13. I rung the door bell to the greeting of a Jehovah's witness, unrecognized by my flesh. I introduced myself as her grandson and was invited in, She was cooking Sunday dinner, but I just really wanted to go see my Dad. I know he's been sick and well I felt as If he needed to see his son before he passed. my day told me all about his illness. Seeing a man die alone opened up my eyes to a lot of things. Another reminder not to make the same mistakes he made. The meeting ended with him giving me his lighter... Another small but powerful things i hold dead to my heart. I'll frame it along with the picture I snapped of us. Tears filled my eyes as I walked out the door.

The next day I reunited with my youngest daughter. Watching the kids play with each other was a wonderful sight and this alone made the trip worth it. They played alone in her room for hours. I sat back and played the proud dad I am.

After a few days of seeing everyone else it was time for me to have a little fun, I went to hook up with my latest friend or maybe new character in my scribes... We'll call her BEST from here on out. She showed me that things aren't always the same despite the fact that every one's house was exactly like the last time I walked into their homes. Things change, that there are people out there who are willing to make you feel important. She also showed me how a puddle by the seaside can remove dog shit from a boot. All in all I had fun and I realized that life truly is meaningless without the ones you love.

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As I sit at my computer keyboard ready to take flight and go back home with my daughter for the first time since I left, numerous thoughts flood my mind. What will this war torn city hold. Brothers doing nothing but being hood. It's real attractive to some, but not me. My friends are there, my real friends the ones who know me at Lamar. Not Xilla Tha Kool Kid. I go back with good news, something people don't seem they like delivering nowadays, I mean all you here is bad news. So and So got shot, remember little Kesha? Yeah she Pregnant... "You know dude who used to stay w/ the head phones what's his name?" "Umm Reggie?" "Yeah that's his name... well he locked up" I mean damn. So while I'm home eating some of the best Macaroni and Cheese I ever ate, and my moms wonderful dressing. I'll give thanks to my success.

I mean I used to not give a damn, but now I don't give a fuck. I wonder if this is what life is all about? A bunch of dude sitting around talking about other people like life is the View. I try to live stress free, i mean it's not like i got watches that i only wore once, or A house i can fly to anytime i want. But I'm good. HDTV, a good job, and a career that's as bright as Lebron James.

I didn't really have a purpose of this blog just that I'm out.. I'll be gone for a few days. I'll miss you all. And Oh yeah I'm working on putting a new comment system in... b/c my job blocked Haloscan.

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Rep. Carla Blanchard Dartez, a Democrat, acknowledged that she ended a Thursday night conversation with Hazel Boykin by saying, "Talk to you later, Buckwheat." Dartez had been thanking Boykin for driving voters to the polls. Buckwheat, a black child character in the "Little Rascals" comedies of the 1930s and '40s, is viewed as a racial stereotype. Boykin, 75, helped desegregate restaurants and the parish school system in the 1960s. Her son, Jerome, is president of the Terrebonne Parish chapter of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. "I've never had no one talk to me that way, and I considered it a racial slur," Hazel Boykin said. "I know the meaning of it; it's just like the N-word."

Here's the whole story-------> LOOKIN' PA NUB

Now do a jig for the baddest (not in a good way) host of radio! The Chicago Tribune reported that radio host and drama King Michael Baisden has misappropriated funds that were suppose to go to the National Legal Fund Foundation. A foundation he founded since his intervention in the Jena 6 debacle. Baisden has been trying to raise 1 million dollar since the march in September; however, he has fallen $981,000 short of his goal. Noooooo, say it ain't so, not after this guy charged Online Non-Profit Advocacy program Color of Change (COC)for not paying the Jena 6 families their share of the funds, COC collected for Jena's legal defense. Color of Change in attempts to remedy the situation, instantly release a statement with copies of checks made out to five of the Jena 6 attorneys not the family. One family declined to recieve funds, Color of Change graciously posted the affidavit signed by the family declining monies for their son's legal defense. Michael Basiden release a weak apology that really wasn't an apology to COC for discrediting their character on national radio! COC doesn't accept it, but the struggle will go on. What the hell Jena Families? What the hell Michael Baisden? Why would you handle an issue like that in the open? It would've been easier to just go to Color of Change and say "This is the information I recieved. What happened?" Instead, he [Michael Baisden] fasley accused them of nonallocation and only to turn around and apolgize! I know ABC got on that arse. NOW, he is accused of the same shameful accounting practices to which he accused COC. It's a shame. See, this is why you can't bury the N- Word!

Last note, for "the N-word" to be hurtful, harmful, and derogatory it sure did get a hero's farwell! I found some pics...I didn't realize they did all of this!!! A horse drawn carriage? Shirts and Coffee mugs? A real casket? I missed the pictures. I am sorry I heard about the event, but didn't know all of this was going on. Maybe I blocked it out of my mind! God Help Jesus!

Thousands gathered in Detroit, Michigan to participate in the NAACP’s funeral and burial for the “N” word. A horse drawn carriage carried a wooden coffin that adorned black roses and a ribbon with the word “nigga” displayed. NAACP Chairman Julian Bond, Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, hip-hop legend Curtis Blow and R & B legend Eddie Levert led the procession from COBO Hall to Hart (Freedom) Plaza. The burial was a part of the 9th Annual Convention of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People.

~Perverted Monk revealing reasons why the N-Word keeps reappearing like Elvis & Tupac!!

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On Monday, The girl who does my hair showed her stinginess to the hundredth power. She stole a measly $4.50 from my house. The only reason I even found out was b/c I offered to buy her a beer. To which she replied oh I took your money earlier. WTF? I find that a lot but not all females have this sort of sick fascination with money. It borders on obsession. I noticed this b/c anytime there is a major celebrity divorce you can see a strange gleam in the eyes of females all over the globe proud that one of them made it. Watch, as you’re out in the world today, tell a woman that Juanita Jordan just won the mansion, the kids and 168 millions dollars in the divorce settlement from Michael “Air” Jordan as watch their eye twitch and glisten.

Money is the reason Guys like 50 Cent, Flavor Flav, J. Holiday, Jeezy and numerous other ugly ass dudes get pussy. Females panties get wet b/c of an extra few O’s they think are in the back account. B/c if any of these dudes weren’t rappers… They just be the dirty mail room clerk at your job who keeps trying to hit on you at the lunch counter.

Even if you’re out at the clubs you’ll see a skinny looking dude who looks like Rich Boy Selling That and The dude from The Gods Must Be Crazy’s love child surrounded by woman b/c he’s pushing a Denali, rocking a gold chain and his sneakers resemble a bag of tropical skittles and it matches his other clothes.

These are a few of the reasons why I am trying to instill some sort of values in my daughters b/c If I don’t their friends will have them become an evil materialistic wench, who is out for a buck b/c they can’t make one on their own. Maury owes this innate sixth sense to sniff out money to his whole career, money hungry woman looking to score a big one b/c letting a dude give them back shots in a club hoping to cash in on that big child support check. Listen just b/c I was a whore for the moment doesn’t mean your bastard child gets to go to Harvard b/c I’m a successful, basketball player, radio jock or etc. Go to Howard, little Billy. One lust filled night shouldn’t get someone a life long ticket to easy street.

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So I'm sitting in the house on the phone w/ my best friend in the whole wide world. We are watching House and chatting about random things. Like the purpose for that little nine at then end of gas prices. (Which are set to go up 20 more cent) We were pretty pissed that they try to fool us b/c when you think you're paying $3.13 for gas you're really paying 3.13.9999 cent for gas and it sucks. Anyway there is a tap at my door. My eyes roll into the back of my head b/c i know it can only be one of 2 people both of which get on my COT DAMN NERVES!!! "Yo boogie, do you have any ketchup I can borrow" I give the ketchup wait until he applies a small portion on his burger and give it back. I shut my door, lock it and put the latch on the door rather loudly hoping he gets the point. 30 minutes later... knock knock knock

He comes by to borrow something else. At first I didn't mind b/c he's cool people and but it's getting out of control. You see his girlfriend came back, and I had peace. My door when untapped, my groceries stayed in my house, and I got to smoke my whole pack of newports. But recently they broke up.

As many of you know I haven't been able to sleep well lately so one night I heard a car door slam shut. I looked at the clock, booty call hour, I looked out the window and a fine dime peice was down stairs going into this apartment. Cool maybe I'll have the evening to myself. Unbothered by numerous request for shit.. like Program my remote, hangers and sheets of paper. I was actually a bit jealous b/c she was fine as all hell and I sat there thinking how this nigga... anyway I'm up playing madden and the clock reads 4am and it happens... there is a knock at my door.

"Yo Boogie you got any Toilet paper?" To which I reply "Damn dude I just gave you a roll yesterday" He laughed and said it was for the chick... Like an hour later he comes over and interupts my madden game to tell me about how he was just swimming in the pussy. Gee thanks while you're using my tp to clean bitches up I'm in the crib w/ John Madden.

Needless to say we still talk and on weekends when I have my daughter repeated knocks break the bliss of daddy daughter day. But it's getting out of hand in the past 2 days I've been asked to borrow SOAP, SOUR CREAM, A Can Opener, and Shoe Polish. Now what in his right mind would make him ask me for some fucking sour cream? Do I look like i keep stock piles of Sour Cream in my crib. He's even asking to use my apartment. One day while his girl was there he interupted another episode of House to talk on HIS Phone in my house!! DUDE you're going too far!! I need my home to do shit in my home!! So I need you're Help

What Should I Do To Address This Problem?

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If I ever come in contact with the parent that paid $2,400 for A dayum Hanna Montana Ticket, I hereby promise here forthwith to beat their tails until the white meat, red meat, black and blue meat show! Da hell are they thinking? Maxing out credit cards, mortgaging homes, and a bunch of other foolishness to take their child to see Mylie Cyrus' alter ego Hanna Montana!

She doesn't even have blonde hair this is how she really looks!

Shall I continue to think of the many other bills that could be paid in lieu of the lie I call "Hanna Montana!" I don't blame Mylie, I blame the people who keep feeding the monster I'd like to refer to as "HANNA MONTANA!!"

~Perverted Monk revealing a Financial Truth while watching Hanna Montana on FREE television erry Sat. Morning!

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I’m at my computer getting thrown!! For the truest blog I ever wrote. Alright I’m 100% sober, unless you account for the pain pills I took to qualm this toothache that’s been nagging me of late. Anyway this morning while I was in the shower taking a piss I had a revelation… And don’t make that face, It’s man logic, warm in here cold out there… and the water is going down anyway so I figured. Fuck it I’m pissing. So as I proceeded to kick water in the direction of the piss which now sat near the drain lingering as a reminded that I just pissed in the tub I decided I’m going to be celibant. That’s right no more sex from me.

If you’ve been reading my blogs you’ll remember I compared myself to my polar opposite T-Pain, due to my lust for a stripper and my friendship w/ a bartender. Anyway my bartender friend and I have been kicking it a lot lately. So last night to get me out of my funk, she suggested that we go to the strip club. I knew exactly what to do, I called the number I stole from my ex girl of the stripper we were going to bang but didn’t, and made an appointment for a private party. Again I was content to make the professional make me nut!! And boy she did the job. Her flexible frame did tricks for me that you see in videos that come on uncut late nights on the negro channel.

I should have called the number a long time ago. Her and my bartender friend made it their duty to please me. Sucking at the same time, one on the balls the other on the shaft, rotating who I stabbed w/ the dick as they laid on top of each other I enjoyed my double decker delight. Her slim frame was amazing, as if it was sketched by Michelangelo. Her muscles clenched and gripped my Xilleration as my penetration knocked on her ovaries. “I can feel it in my stomach, Damn Daddy” And a bunch of other nasty shit I like. But after this experience I still felt like okay just another day at the office.

It was remarkable but I still felt as if I was missing something. I’m stingy too I guess. So while I was in the shower I soaked and thought. The steam bounced off my body as thought after thought filled my head. I came to the conclusion that pussy will always be pussy. I’ve always got it, broken hearts to get more of it, and threw a fit when I lost it, even though I kept coochie coupons and pussy on the side. I mean there were times in my life when I actually had pussy falling out of my pockets. In the form of telephone numbers written on napkins and in my cell phone filed under the name the pussy you’ve been waiting for. Yeah right! Pussy is pussy.

My stinginess has over through the prospect of love in my heart. I wanted it all, pussy from my girl and the girls who would fuck me despite knowing I had a girl. So now that I’m single I’m going to break my hypocrisy and fast from the pussy. So from here on out I’m going to lay down the law and inform the world of the things a life long cheater has done to achieve his ultimate goal… Pussy. So if you have any questions send them to me, @ Webmaster@blogxilla.com and I’ll write a blog on the topic you want.

New Rules

When you're commenting be social
Feel free to talk and get to know the others who comment
We can all use more readers so make a friend
they won't bite unless you want them too
I'll be here all day so let the fun begin

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So she’s living with another dude, so the chances of getting back together might pretty much be out of the question. An intense feeling of betrayal and justification of my over reactions fill my soul. I thought about spending the whole weekend drunk out of my mind, but rationality filled my conscious. Well almost, I hopped on the phone, I wanted company, I needed someone to take my mind off of the pain my heart felt. I met this one in the club, she’s been dying to see the Kool Kid, but a pseudo relationship got in the way of numerous other chances to hook up but not tonight. The apartment was clean from head to toe, the scent of mango mist filled the air as she walked into the door looking like a movie star ready to accept her Oscar for her award winning performance. I usually don’t write about my current dealings, but this is an exception this weekend is all for your reading pleasure.

After a few drinks and small talk, we get down to business, see I had a plan, I wanted to test how committed she was, I was trying to locate the exact longitude and latitude of where her mind was at. We kissed, I needed a kiss, to fill her lips on mine, taste her tongue. The Hennessy on my tongue mixed w/ the Hennessey on hers to make it a double shot which was satisfying to the soul. Her chest resembled the bosoms that so many in Hollywood paid thousands for, perfect orbs, soft and firm. Much more pleasant to the eye then the used tea bags I had grown to accept more than love. Her Stomach, a nice 4 pack of tightness. Honestly it made me want to do a few sit-ups myself.

But we got it on, I rolled the Trojan Magnum onto my rock hard dick, I wasn’t going to NUT. I was going to make her work for it, I wanted to please her, I drove my pole inside of her, turned on by her moans and her eyes rolling into the back of her head. I pulled her legs up onto my shoulders, tooting her hole up as I entered. I’m not sure how Goddess like this was, but a plethora of damns, fucks, shits, and oh gods came out of her mouth. I felt her melt on my dick, her legs began to shake. I turned her over, to everyone’s favorite position… Doggy Style.

She threw it back, her ass was a hybrid between an apple and onion, smooth and fantastic for my viewing pleasure. The softness bounced on my front as she worked. The pussy was good, I wanted to dig into it, so as she sat up on all fours I dug my thumbs into her crack and my other 8 fingers gripped her soft ass and I began to probe and pound. I wanted her to squeeze my dick as it entered her, make the cum ooze out into the condom and grease my dick. But she didn’t she braced the wall, where my headboard should have been if it not have been broken months before. She moaned and could no longer maintain balance on all fours. I had her face down ass up. I could see that she had came for a 2nd time. I glanced at the clock, I could see this was going to be one of those marathon fuck sprees.

I got on my back, smacked her ass and told her to get on top. A lackadaisical ride session ended fairly quick. I am a firm believer that females should come w/ a label attached to them “Beware, Cannot RIDE DICK!” It’s okay let me get on top, by this time the condom had dried out, so I pulled out I knew how to fix this. As I popped my dick out of her she asked If I came. I replied no and left the room. I went to the refrigerator popped out a cube of ice, placed it in my mouth and went back into the room. She was trying to go to sleep. But I’m Xilla The Kool Kid not J.Holiday, I smiled as to say my teeth are straight, then positioned my face between her legs and kissed. A loud moan, arched her back, as I used my tongue to spread her lips and dart the cube of ice inside of her. I sucked her clit, my chilled tongue tapping on her. My dick still rock hard… I entered her. Another round and I still didn’t NUT. I was tired I put in a work to please and about 75% of all she could do was lay there. I rested on my back, as she rolled over and went to sleep.

I came to the conclusion which was already in my head… She’s regular stingy like the rest of them. She wasn’t about to crawl on her knees after I was convinced she couldn’t make me nut, and suck it out of me. Blow bubbles with the nut, slap herself w/ the dick and a lot of other stuff. I’d guess this one was all for self. So next time we fuck… she’ll get the stingy dick.

Posted by Xilla at 08:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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Kanye West's Mother, Dr. Donda West, died early today according to Hot 97's Miss Info. Kanye was in London when he was given the tragic news. He is currently on his way back to the United States.

Rhymefest, who co-wrote Kanye's hit song "Jesus Walks," confirmed the news to WGCI-FM in Chicago.

West was often open about the close relationship he shared with his mother. Dr. Donda West worked as the Chair of the English Department at Chicago State University before retiring to become her son's manager. No information on the cause of death is yet available.

According to Essence, Kanye's mom was the CEO of West Brands, LLC at the time of her death. She was also the chair of the Kanye West Foundation.

Calls to Kanye's management were not immediately returned.

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Once the last trace of emotion has been eradicated, nothing remains of thought but absolute tautology.

I wrote this the night before one of the biggest fights in the past 10 years. Oscar De La Hoya stepped in the ring with Pretty Boy Floyd Mayweather. At some point of this fight someone will get knocked out, beaten to a pulp and straight up put on their ass. I think my heart might not be able to get up from the last knock out, I don't believe my heart will ever be the same. I consulted w/ my promoter which is my mind, He seems to think that I have a few more fights left in me. My heart has stepped in the ring w/ a sparring partners and gotten in a good workout. But I just don't feel the same championship allure from the old days. My best friend told me that I had my run, that God said I'm going to give this young dude all he desires, but it's over for us

Well if you haven't figured it out I'm talking bout my relationships with females. It has been the boxing career of Tyson, Holyfield, Ali, and Roy Jones all wrapped in one. A glorious reign of being the champion which ends in failed attempts at recapturing glory. There was the girl who planned a trip and went missing, The girl who said she wanted to be everything but ended up being nothing more than a runaway bride, a few girls w/ a glass jaw, one "punch" and done, and the girl who walked in my life took my heart, caressed it, nurtured it and was everything I ever wanted in a female... It still hurts to much to even say how that ended. She destroyed the little hope I had left in finding a female to settle down with.

But then i heard a voice, a voice that made my spine tingle, a female who seems so cool I think I transform into a penguin or a polar bear or another one of those Arctic beast. But I need to smell her, touch her skin, and get lost in the stare from her eyes. I need her to be real, real like "Real Sex" 1 the show that sparked 48,000 other episodes. Maybe I should fly out to the other side of the globe just to hold her shake her hand and go about my life b/c with my past I don't know if my heart can handle another painful knockout. But if shes out there I want her to know that I appreciate her, that I want to be her everything, and that I would give her my all, that I will go 12 rounds in this relationship and do the equivalent of running in the mountains at 4am, 3000 push ups daily... I want to be the PS3 of love. I haven't given up hope yet, I'm just a little skeptical of the mentality of Venus.

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The time has come where we shift our focus from the dude w/ the braids, pants hanging off his ass, and keeps leaning, rocking and talking way to loud and start paying attention to the overly quiet long haired kid w/ the blue eyes, trimmed w/ black eyeliner and the upside down cross on his shirt. These white kids are dangerous man!! Over in Finland, an 18-year-old gunman opened fire at his high school killing 9 people. I checked MSNBC and the headline reads a rare school shooting. WTF? Rare?!? They shoot up a school every other week. But this dude is different. He posted a warning video on Youtube. Oh I get it now, he's one of those internet thugs. We've all dealt w/ them. Some girlfriend, sending you hate mail b/c her boyfriend left you a comment, or some dude who wants to call you out of your name b/c you think Jay-Z is better than Nas. I myself have even played internet thug, over too many comments on my ex girls page.

Someone asked me what did I plan to accomplish but arguing... well I really would find the dude and bash his teeth in, totally forgetting that I would have actually paid to fly somewhere and cash in my Go Str8 to Jail card. Do not pass go, stop on boardwalk, buy a bag of weed from Baltic ave or visit your jump off on those affordable yellow blocks that nobody really wants to buy. People act like people on the computers are robots... I don't know why b/c I'm real and I have feelings and all... But anyway, I digress.

YT is shooting each other up for reasons they never explain. So Today i'm asking the media to please explain to me why in God's name are they not investigating what is causing your offspring to shoot up their damn schools? Is it something in the pot luck surprise or those extra greasy burgers they pump us with? Or the fact that they classified Ketchup as a fruit and/or vegetable.

Nonetheless this is a epidemic taking over the world, white children shooting up the place. Oh let me guess hip hop to blame for this too, right? Damn Homie!! In High School you were the man Homie Fuck happened to you. That crazy ass white kid shot me in the jawbone!

Posted by Xilla at 04:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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It's video's like the one about which fuel my dislike for the FUZZ. I guess it's not cool for a black man to interact w/ YT and their kids. It seems like the color of one's skin is an issue all over the world. I know Martin said that we were all created equal but after 28 long hard years on this earth I find that very hard to believe. When I was 10 I was almost ran over by a cop car b/c they thought little black kids running down the street meant they were up to something. My young prepubescent face against the cold brick wall, my body being searched as the cop asked my why did I run and I had to explain the rules of Hide and Go Seek to him.

At 14 while riding my back from a basketball in the next town over, I found my self face down on the perfectly manicured lawn of some rich white family's luxurious house as the cops asked me where did I get the brand new Huffy dirt bike, and I had to explain my mother bought it for me. They made me prove it by calling my mother to come get me from their police station.

At the tender age of 18 and a half, one night while leaving a club, a group of racist white cops blocked the entire exit to the club for 40 minutes just to be assholes and investigate the blacks leaving their town, on a night of non alcoholic fun at a club which wasn't selling liquor to a bunch of teenagers. My friends and I decided to bug out b/c we didn't do anything... So we cranked up a beat and sung... "It feels Good Being Black Don't IT? IT FEELS GOOD BEING BLACK DON'T It" To which one big unusually ripe salami smelling pig came up to my window and said. "You want to be a smart huh? I WILL FUCK YOU!!!" To which I replied "Officer would you prefer me to be DUMB? Since when is it a crime to feel good about the color of your skin?"

They proceeded to search my car, run my tags and all the other bullshit cops do. But we never stopped laughing, we never stopped the jokes. We weren't doing anything wrong. All they found were empty mcdonald bags and a few paystubs to see what type of NIGGER I was. I drove off that day a cool as a cucumber, but sad inside. Sad to know that all I've been through wasn't even half of what my ancestors been through in times before mine.

Posted by Xilla at 04:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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These bloggers are crazy if they don't think that this music influence the people! I don't know about y'all but this music made ME want to run the streets. Every since I first listened to Snoop Dogg the Dogpound. I was amazed!!! I want to have girls just like the ones he rapped about, and not have girls but girls, that I could make my bitches!! Damn, now that I realize it, shorty after that I was introduced to IceBerg Slim's The Pimp. All this information dropped on a super intelligent brain without guidance at such a young age really had it's effect on me. I was a wild boy, crazy even. And when people consistently call a reformed crazy person, crazy... one could show you what crazy is just to prove a point. But I rolled with the punches. My life is like a soap opera entertainment at it's finest.

I didn't realize this until Halloween, I realized I was filled with the demons of my father along w/ the misogynistic ideology of main stream, hip hop. So It all exploded into an ugly mushroom cloud, which had continuously reared it's ugly head in my life over and over again. It also pops up in the clubs across America as millions of females pop their asses while being called bitches and hoes, giving fuel to this behavior.

Last week on my radio show, I featured comedian Denny Live, who you may have seen on BET's comic view, slipped up and called a few of my female listeners Bitches. Then followed it up w/ "well that's how we talk when y'all ain't around" It's true!! I know I've called women I loved with all of my heart Bitches when I was just talking to my boys. I felt like my assumption of how a white people who may or may not use the word nigger in private, and not particularly be racist, would feel.

So from here on out I am changing my ways. I will inform you all of how the dude who lays up w/ you might feel in different situations. The word bitch isn't a light thing, it's a heavy word, filled w/ an unconscious hatred and years of oppression, abuse and media's unseen hand manipulating the brains of men and women all over the world.

So in the words of Paul Mooney everyone wants to be a Nigga, but no one wants to be a Nigger, does the same apply to bitch?

Posted by Xilla at 07:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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Oh to be the HNIC! Goodness did you all see the article about Stanley O'Neal. No? Here is your chance!

This is sheer entertainment to me as the first African-American CEO of Merrill da Lynch, the fall of the sub-prime market Lynched this dude's career, but damn the board of the directors hooked a n!gga up! Merrill da Lynch had to write off 2 billion dollars of the sub prime mortgages held by the group. Mr. O'Neal received $161million good riddance monies in stock and retirement benefits. Note to the wise, if you are out there striving to be anything in life strive to be the HNIC, eff up and loose a lot of money for everyone else so you can retire like, Fat Cat!

Others Top Executive payouts:
Exxon Mobil Corp. / Lee Raymond / 2006 / $351.0
Pfizer Inc. / Hank McKinnell / 2006 / 213.0
Home Depot Inc. / Robert Nardelli / 2007 /210.0
Gillette Co. / James Kilts / 2005 / 165.0
Merrill Lynch & Co. Inc. / Stanley O'Neal / 2007 /161.5
UnitedHealth Group Inc. / William McGuire 2006 /153.0
WellPoint Health Networks / Leonard Schaeffer / 2005 /137.0
SouthTrust Bank / Wallace Malone / 2006 /135.0
Morgan Stanley / Philip Purcell / 2005 /94.0
Conseco Inc. / Stephen Hilbert / 2000 /72.5

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