Men are content to let a relationship go on for years without ever needing definition.
As long as his needs are being met everything is fine.

Women always want to tie a man down to a title and role.
We think, "If we don't put a name on it how will we know what it is?"

Now I'm not going to speak for all men on this one, but you can rest assure that any sane rational man such as myself would feel the same way as I do. I know that I am content to let my relationship go on, w/o any clear title b/c a title isn't important to me. Take the movie "Something The Lord Made" Mos Def's character was a doctor in all means other than title. No one could take that away from him, sure he was just a service worker by title but if you take the actual work he did then he was a doctor. And If you watched this movie you saw him teach white people how to do all types of medical phenoms, even his own boss.

I go off someone's word, MY WORD is my WORD and if I give it, it means only what I said. If I said I love you then it means I love you, but for some reason, some times it just doesn't register w/ the female brain. If we can agree that love has no set definition, since you can ask a million people what love is and receive a million different definitions. How could anyone refute that logic?


Now a woman may want to place a title on the relationship often wondering how will she know what it is, but if you took his word for it then you'll have your answer. I believe that women are liars. They lie so much about so many different things that they forget who they truly are, and then they apply these traits towards others. Never stopping to look at them self as the root of the problem. Now I know you may read this and thing I don't lie, but of course you do. Think… "Oh sure I'm going to call you" "I've slept w/ __ people in my life" (not counting the ones who didn't make you cum, who didn't last more than a minute nor the one night stands where you woke up in a strange hotel w/o your panties or memory of what happened the night before. I've heard it a million times, oh I don't want to be mean, or that didn't count dude's dick was way to little to penetrate my inner lips. HOGWASH!!! It counts you, lied!!

Now some dudes do hide the truth, I will admit that, and some dudes (including myself) are very insensitive to a females feelings. Mainly because he doesn't want to be nagged. And doesn't feel like there is a problem w/ his relationship, he's perfectly happy w/ their status and the way his relationship functions. Yet his girl might tell it differently. I tend to think it's a trust thing. How could their be love in a person's heart if there is no trust? We all need to try to understand each others feelings. So a discussion is needed, even though there has been this conversation a million times before b/c one party is always questioning the others affection or lack there of.

To Be Continued.

Posted by Xilla at 08:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

options

We became known as the players, our reputation was so infamous girls lined up single file for a chance to sleep w/ one of us. From the fly bourgeois girls from Edison, Piscataway and Plainfield to hood chicks from Newark, Irvington and Orange, they would all here of the rep and die to find out if it was true.

One night I stepped out in a fly ensemble of name brands, pockets full and hooking up w/ this young tender I had meet in the mall the previous week. Phone calls were exchanged, friends invited, and parents out for the night, we set off to embark on the greatest thing known to a 17 year old... NEW PUSSY. Braggadocios talk of how she could throw it back, ride it and drop it could do nothing to throw me off my mission. She claimed to be the one who would have my nose wide open. Little did she know, I wasn't to be tamed on this day.

Her friends Hooked up w/ my friends, we say our hello's hugged and walked inside. We laughed, cracked jokes and bullshitted for all of 15 minutes. Not being one who wasted to much time, I brought up the topics of discussion from numerous phone conversations. And off the the room we went. Her friend in her room, and my and my girl went into her mother's room.

I don't know what it is about fucking in someone elses mother's bed but it turned me on. The rooms were right next to us, and in these new condo's they build the walls paper thin, a single moan from the next room, acted like a spark to ignite the tension in the room and the battle begun. It was a game to us, who could make their girl scream louder. With every thrust inside of my girl, my boy must have went harder. We spent the rest of the night trying to out do the couple in the other room. Until boom crash!!! Something broke. The headboard in mama's room was no longer attached to the bed. The sheets stained w/ pussy juice and my baby batter... The smile on my face grew as her frustration oozed from hers, knowing she would have to either fix it or make up a very special lie to explain the collateral damage that had been done.

Being a Kool Kid is a wonderful thing.

Have you ever fucked in your parents bed?

Posted by Xilla at 08:42 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

options

I won't read you all to death today!! After reading xilla's blog that isht is just too funny! It's that time of the year where movies are going to bombard the screen and our pockets. Some movies trailers are looking dull for the holiday season and new year. BUT, I found a few that might interest you. There are a couple joints I am squealing and squirming to go see. I have provided some teasers, so let's all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat!!! Take a look --->

IRONMAN- OOOOOOOH I can't wait. They should've gotten RZA to do the soundtrack here's the trailer!

ALIEN-VS-PREDATOR:REQUIEM- uhhhhm...i don't know what to expect. Maybe I should watch the Prequiem first.

THE GOLDEN COMPASS- Dang! I want an armored bear! I can see the CGI may not be as good as Lord of the Rings but it should be a great story!

I AM LEGEND- I have no hope for, i-robot meets Independence Day after the aliens have killed the robots, but who knows my mind could be changed.

WELCOME HOME ROSCOE JENKINS- Oh Goodness, I hope all the funny parts aren't in the clip. I swear this has the potential to be a staple in the video archives. It's good to see Martin on the screen again.

SEMI-PRO- If it's Will Ferrell I am gonna see it!

~perverted monk nope, no chaser!

Posted by Perverted Monk at 01:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

options

Umm I work, I'm black and I'm one of the smartest guys in room. The thing is I opened this topic up to the people around me and well, one girl said.."Well that's not true b/c we do good at sports." We tried to explain to her that sports is more physical, and not as such mental and she began to debate for 15 minutes how flying through the air & jumping takes a lot of thought...

Was Dr. Watson right? Was this corky looking Dweeb whose never been on a MLK Blvd in his life correct? Is our race inferior to others? Are the names of rapper proof? The Yung Joc's, Lil Wayne's and Gucci Mang's of the world are giving people a terrible Idea of what real black people are like. Yet, hip hop is not to blame. I think it's people like my co-worker who stumble through achievement after achievement with no true knowledge, who one the outside looks like a very strong independent woman but can't tell a monkey's ear from its @$$.

Wrong statement after wrong statements and no one ever says "look you don't get it, you may even be dumb... you should just be quiet and look like you're following along, and understanding what is being said. You're giving the race a bad name." Now when I repeated the Scientist's statements this woman said "That's not true. we are so much better in sports. Take Michael Jordan for instance...and how he flies through the air" I was perplexed what the FUCK does Michael Jordan Dunking has to do w/ being Smart.

I run into Idiots on the daily and frankly, I'm sick of it. We really need to stop allowing our kind to be dumb, uninformed, and Ignorant. I find that we care more about how much TI paid for bail then regular common sense. Yes people I'm talking about common sense... Not the theory of relativity or E=MC2 . Just know that jumping doesn't require a lot of thought. There is no "S" at the end of FEET, you shouldn't talk at top volume when you're on your cell phone and Reading includes book not written by ex-convicts.

Posted by Xilla at 07:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

options

What's up frogs and froggets, I gotta a King Truth gunning for you. I will need your opinion for this one. Speaking of hating, am I a hater or just unimpressed? Too me, it's more of the latter. I could actually listen to three of Ashi++ti's earlier songs, "Baby, Rain, and No One Else." I just couldn't buy a ticket for the "I like Ashanti" train. I present to you Ashanti's latest on King Magazine, you may have seen them. If you look closely I think she has a lazy eye! Ashi++i has a nice figure, but I'm just not impressed with the layout, are you? The whole, black I want to be fierce, but I only have one look with a lazing eye; isn't working for me. Her previous spread at a similar office building window was a whole lot better.

2004 King Spread.

click thumbnails for a larger view

Now, compared to her former self, yeah she has improved 10 to the 10th power!!!

~perverted monk serves the truth. Nope, no chaser!

Posted by Perverted Monk at 09:59 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

options

I hate this pose. It's the default pose for most girls on the internet. BUT it's so much better than being caught in this pose

SPEECHLESS!!!!

What DO you HATE?

This will be our new segment on tonight's show... Which is all about Masturbation... You can listen live at 8 Eastern by logging on to http://blogtalkradio.com/fwnbtd. WIth that said what do you hate?

While you're here Listen to Last week's show w/ the Author of 13 Reasons Not To Date a Single Mother

Posted by Xilla at 05:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

options

Can I just say... I hated this song with a PASSION! I never got it. It was stupid to the up most level of stupidity. No matter how much I prayed and threw salt on the TV to drive away the evil spirits, it never failed every Friday it would pop up on NBC's, "Friday Night Videos." I was like Dammit...you all are the National Broadcasting Company can't you find another video?

For some reason this song hopped onto one of my trains of thought today, which lead to what da hell happen to Neneh Cherry? Why did she hang in a Buffalo stance? Why not a Lioness Stance or a Rubber Tree Stance? Why were her eye brows 25 inches thick or long (depending on the day) like "Fuzzy Brows" from Naruto (aka Rock Lee)?

~perverted monk be rememberin' with truthfulness!

Posted by Perverted Monk at 05:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

options

I know many of your have heard about social-networking spying: Employers do it to job candidates, parents to kids — and couples to each other. Just how many couples use sites like MySpace and Facebook to keep each other in check is difficult to measure. But the fact that terms like “MyStalking” and “Facestalking” have entered the street lexicon speaks to their proliferation. One of my favorite bloggers asked me a question, totally unaware that I actually ran an advice column back in my myspace days. But here is the question.

Well those are easy, First Cyber-Stalking. Its so easy, You can easily follow the breadcrumbs of comments, to find out the business of people on the internet. So when the good pussy leaves, and you don't have an answer you go looking. This is mainly b/c females don't like to give answers for reasons why they do stuff. They'll break up w/ you and won't tell you. They'll just stop calling and answering your calls.

This is mainly b/c the female tried to tell the last dude who was hooked on the cooch, that he was wack and well he just wouldn't accept the answer. You see males suffer from hard headedness and weak egos, also known as alpha male syndrome. So My advice to you, is to drop some info on someone's blog or myspace page saying something like "The dick was great last night, I really enjoyed the way your baby batter swam in my mouth" If that doesn't get him to stop then you may need to press charges.

Because regardless of what you tell them, they'll switch it around and make it seem like you're crazy. The convo will go something like this.

You: I really don't like you I think you're wack, you can't fuck, and the dude I meet last week made my toes curl

Him: HAHAHAHA you're so funny so what time am I picking you up this weekend?

So yeah, best way to deal w/ it, is to make believe there is no one following you around the internet. This SEBD no longer exist, he's dead to you. If he continues to cyber stalk you, talk bad about his kids. I had a cyber stalker once and I started leaving comments how I thought her child was... well I didn't mean it so I won't repeat it but you get the picture.

Posted by Xilla at 05:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

options

What's up spiders and mites! I got another truth to reveal and this one may hit you at your heart, literally! I am tired of paying $3.01 for gas. I blame the cheaters! I don't know if I have been cheated on or not and I would like it to stay that way! But, I was watching an interview of Mya and realized she's pretty.....Cuh-razy!! I started thinking there are two kinds of people in relationships The Punked and "The Punk." Here's two short scenarios...Here we go yo!

scenario for the fellas

Fellas! You happen to be in the right place at the right time with your boys and you bump into Mya, literally! In the mist of your apologizes there's a spark and you click! (Hot Dayum!) You ask her to coffee, she say yes. (Hot Diggity Dayum!) You're having coffee, after a little eye contact, giggles, smiles, and foot taps in the unisex bathroom that sets it off she's feeling you and you're feeling her and y'all decided you're gonna see where this goes...

scenario for the ladies

Ladies! You're in the grocery store hitting up that Chunky Monkey and from behind a voice ask, "Will you grab me one too?" It's Common. (Guuuurl Bye!) You ask him, "You're a chunky monkey fan?" He replies, "No doubt!" You spend a few mins discussing the intricacies of da Monkey and he ask if he can see you again! You reply with an emphatic, "Hell yeah!" You agree to meet him at the park for a picnic brunch that sets it off you're feeling him, he's feeling you, and y'all decided to see where it goes....

WTF happens? All this chemistry just dies? Yuuup, it can! I want folks to remember the initial agreement (ahem), "dot-dot-dot-you're feeling him, he's feeling you, and y'all decided to see where it goes dot-dot-dot". I promise there is a point in your fellationship where you, he, or she realizes, "..this is going no where." You both have memories of good times with a little bad mixed in here and there. Why not leave it at that happy time? Why be miserable? Someone ends up Lawry's (salty) and Ridin' like Mya...wasting gas, increasing demand, sending prices sky high! You didn't even think that you were part of the problem (in gas prices and in the relationship). That ain't the bizness, so stop ridin' and get it over wif already!!!

You could be, The punked that is the individual who doesn't realize or realizes at the midnight hour that the other is no longer delighted in their company. As a result of this non-delightfulness the other creepths in the night. If they are real bold, they will creepth in the day or in your face; thus, no longer creeping.

If you are unhappy in your fellationship, I plead to citizens of the world make a decision to tell the cheatee or the cheater to..

And maybe gas prices will go back down!

~perverted monk be telling the truth! Nope, no chaser.

Posted by Perverted Monk at 06:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

options

I woke up this morning to a weird dream. I've been having these type of dreams for a while lately. Dreams of precious things dying. I dream this over, and over, and over, and over again. So I brushed my teeth and got ready to drop my morning blog and I get a message, It was a chain letter but something inside of my body told me it was the word of God. the message said.

GOD WANTED ME TO TELL YOU Everything that is going wrong in your life today shall be well with you this year. No matter how much your enemies try this year, "they will not" succeed. You have been destined to make it and you shall surely achieve all your goals this year. For the remaining months of this year (2007), all your agonies will be diverted and victory and prosperity will be incoming in abundance. Today God has confirmed the end of your sufferings sorrows and pains because HE that sits on the throne has remembered you. He has taken away the hardships and given you JOY. He will never let you down. I knocked at heaven's door this morning, God asked me... My child! What can I do for you? And I said, "Father, please protect and bless the person reading this message"... God smiled and answered... Request granted.

If you believe this message, send it to seven persons and the one who sent it to you.

By doing this you have succeeded in praying for eight people today"

Have a blessed week!!"

My pastor Bishop Eddie Long has been preaching this message. He preached it New Years day, that 07 there will be a shift in your life. I believed him, and 07 has brought me great pleasure. I moved to be closer to my daughter, I got a great job which I truly believe will become my career. My radio show has become exactly what I envisioned it to be. despite all the hardships I faced this year everything has worked out.

I also have a message for you. It comes from the book of Jeremiah 1:7

7 But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. 8 Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD.

9 Then the LORD reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, "Now, I have put my words in your mouth.

A lot of us are great at something, but yet we are stuck doing things we don't want to do, like working for someone else in jobs we are not happy doing. I told my girl, why go to school to do something you don't really like? She replied b/c of the money. Yet no amount of money can extend your life or buy you happiness.

What the verse above is telling me is that I should reach for my goals. That I am ordained to achieve them and leave behind a legacy that will live forever. I probably already have. Some of the stuff I have written in the past has touched somebody, somewhere. That person might not be the person who changes something yet he/she may spark the mind that does. So I ask y'all to pray for me, Pray for yourselves, pray for your loved ones. And when you pray, pray for the NOW. Know that as soon as it comes out of your mouth, mind and soul that it has already been done.

I have prayed for everyone who has read this blog today, and know that it has already been done. Know that everything you do has already been accomplished in the book of life. Because together we have and are about to deposit numerous prays into each other bank accounts of blessings. Prays on reserve and now is the time to make a deposit and a withdrawal. Now is the time to accomplish your dreams.

Posted by Xilla at 05:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

options

This is gonna be short and sweet! Will Somebody, Anybody please explain to me why da hell does this lil' boy's momma allow them people to put a straw set in this boy's head? I can't stand it; as much as, I love heroes I cringe when he comes on the screen. Not because I don't like his character, because of them dang mini Shirley Temple curls. It ain't right! They did it to Richie from "Family Matters" where is he now?

Oh yeah! The Young and the Restless.

~perverted monk be tellin' the truth

Posted by Perverted Monk at 08:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

options

Let Me Upgrade You

But I'm talking about pay your light bill crazy, or you know she makes more then you but you still buy her shoes, the Coach bag and matching hat when you ain't pay your rent crazy.

Ladies try to do something different like leave the ManXilla for a minute. Next time your in bed get on top and instead of going straight got the Johnson, pay attention to other parts of his body like his earlobes, his neck, or his nipples. I know it feels good as hell when a girl licks my nipples, even tho I feel like my name is Tasha while she is giving my nipples a tongue spanking, I know that shit feels good as hell and the tingling, oh the tingling. But I feel like a girl if i ask, take the lead and do it yourself. He'll thank you later.

Also that area right under the ball... OMG dudes if you never had a woman give your balls a spit bath and then lick that spot right under your balls you don't know what your missing it's amazing. So ladies right when your man gets out the shower... Go to work

After I get that now I want some head, its nothing like knowing a chick is feeling you enough to give you some dome. I'm talking about that toe curling head. Ladies at that moment we are at your beckon call, and we might promise you the world and actually try to give it to you if you do it right. I once had a girl give me head, but she would stop every so often and squeeze the head of my ManXilla every so often.
I noticed that this made me hold off from spraying my PREGO JUICE all over her esophagus, allowing me to enjoy an orgasms w/o actually nutting.

Another thing, become a sexual intellectual, and send us shopping, next time your having a conversation w/ your man, tell him to buy you a sexy piece of Lingerie, or even better a Sex toy. This will also allow you to know what your man is into. So if he comes home w/ a pair of Crotchless panties you know he wants to get right into it.

If he comes home w/ a Schoolgirl outfit you know that you need to take some acting classes or you need to go to Macy and buy him a suit so he can be your teacher and give you some HOMEWORK!

Lastly take charge, we get sick of always coming up w/ new and exciting things to do. We all know y'all are picky so just take the lead sometimes, having to know it all and on top of that having to deal w/ 45 minutes of you saying "keep going I'm about to cum! Don't stop, just like that" Hurry up and Nut already... My bad but it gets stressful so take the lead and do the most freakiest thing you want to do, more then likely we saw, Alize do it in a porn and we've been wanting to try it for years... That's right years, but we didn't want to offend you and end up sleeping on the couch, or worst our house alone w/ PALMela.

Your mission:
Send your man to your local sex shop to pick up a Porno and a Toy for you. Achieve orgasm doing something you don't normally do.

What do you do that drives your Man wild?

Posted by Xilla at 07:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

options

When Bush was looking for WMD I am sure he didn't think to look in T.I.'s house. Geeze! Da hell is dude defending the "Gold Rush of 07?" I seriously don't get why one man would need that many guns. Granted, I haven't walked in his shoes, so I don't know where his paranoia stems from, but I pray the Lord no one crosses him. As for that punk azz bodyguard...

T.I. was arrested by federal officials just moments before he was scheduled to be skinny at the B.E.T. Hip-Hop Awards. The 27-year old rapper was arrested on suspicion of purchasing illegal machine guns and silencers. This fool had his bodyguard pick up the guns on his behalf. Thus, began the incarcerated journey of TI. The bodyguard was taken into custody at a shopping mall, where he unknowingly planned to purchase the weapons from undercover agents of the U.S. Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives. What dumbazz buys guns at the mall? Walmart, maybe but the mall?

A police search of T.I.'s Atlanta home allegedly also turned up six weapons in a bedroom closet, five of them loaded. T.I.'s bodyguard told federal agents that the rapper had previously given him money to purchase guns on his behalf on nine separate occasions.

Despite his absence from the ceremony, the self-named King of the South won big at the BET Hip-Hop Awards. He tied for "CD of the Year" with Common, who received the award on his behalf. "I salute my guy T.I., who also won, wherever he is," said Common at the event.

There you have it, T.I. fans. Proceeds from your CD purchases go towards the procurement of guns that are substantially heavier than T.I. geeze this guy! Maybe T.I.P, his alter ego was buying the guns and T.I. didn't know it. That's what had happened.

~another truth coming from the perverted monk

Posted by Perverted Monk at 10:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

options

What happening' chickens and ducks! There some truth to uncover so let's get to it. If you ever become become famous and pregnant don't let the paparazzi know about it! The Oscar-winning actress, Halle Berry revealed that she became a media target after announcing her pregnancy and the paparazzi crossed its limits when they forced her off the road while driving in Hollywood. Ms. Berry had to hit a brick wall before she realized she should have waited to tell the press "I'm pregnant!"

"I got into a car accident because the paparazzi chased me. There I was stuck with my crashed-up car wondering if this somehow impacted my pregnancy and feeling totally helpless and violated. I thought, 'Oh my God, I hope this jolt and this bang hasn't done anything to me internally"

The actress was enraged when the photogs lurked around to take pictures of her damaged car, never called 911 and then lied about the crash, in order to get their snaps printed. "They said, 'Oh, Halle Berry's car is being towed because she was illegally parked.' No! It was crashed because the paparazzi chased me into a wall,” she said.

Poor Halle is always getting banged up if it ain't at home it's on the streets.

Bang! Bang!

Ms. Berry felt dissed by the press because the story wasn't covered by any journalist, save my man Tavis Smiley. Berry told Tavis that she was hurt the Razzis had no concern for her or her unborn child after being forced off the road.

After hearing the horrific haggled history of the fender bender, famed poet and author Nikki Giovanni chastised the Association of Back Journalist for their lack of coverage on African American event and challenged them to report the happenings of the community. Tell them how you really feel Nikki!

~perverted monks exaggerated truth!

Posted by Perverted Monk at 11:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

options

There is a new lie sweeping the nation, this lie has topped: "I gotta man", "Sure I'm going to call you" and even "this is my real hair". The new number one lie told by females is, I got the bomb ass pussy, and you wouldn't know what to do w/ it!!! SUUuuurrrreeee!! Females have now taking over the role of lying on their goodies and I'm not going to take it anymore.

I kid you not I've heard that line from the last 10 women I've been with and out of the ten only 2 have had some good twat. Now if all women say guys have a big dick, all men say girls have good pussy. We say this b/c we want to bust a nut again.

I've heard the tales of how the men keep running back, of how you got this for doing that and even you can throw my pussy in the air and it will turn to sunshine. Yeah right. There was only a few times in my life where I stuck it in and was helpless but to repeat OMG over and over again.

But be happy, b/c true good cooch is a curse, it will take over all rational thoughts in your head, it will start to think for you. Lights need to be paid and vagina will debo the brain for control of the body and you'll end up sleeping w/ Joe Scumbag to get the lights paid. This goes for rent, the car note and those new Louie shows that Kesha Cole had on at the Negro Awards.

But unlike Good dick good V.J.J. looses it's goodness with-in a few years. The water runs dry, the tightness leaves, the warmth becomes cold and the oceans waves no longer pound the shore like they once did. So take it easy and understand that it's alright to have regular pussy.

Posted by Xilla at 05:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

options

All Jokes aside, Lets be serious today. Our failure to pay attention to what's going on around us is the same thing that brought us to this country. I do not understand why we find who wins flavor of love or I love NY more important then what the people who control us are doing, saying and enforcing. Penny for your thoughts. Bush offered a lady the new penny b/c her husband died. A blatant smack in the face. Here is the exchange:

As the President rose to leave after 20 minutes, he said he hoped the visit would help the Falmouth, Maine, woman heal. Halley, 42, replied, “What would really help my healing is if you’d start finding a way to bring our troops home.”

[snip]

“Now he’s dead,” Halley, an artist, says she told Bush, no longer able to contain her anger. “For what? I’ve lost my soul mate.”

“I am so sorry for your loss,” Bush said more than once.

Their conversation ended shortly after Halley began urging Bush to end the war. “We see things differently,” he told her.

Halley says the encounter wasn’t “sharp,” even with her strong words and emotions. As they parted, they shook hands, he kissed her on the cheek and gave her a souvenir presidential coin.

While you were sleeping the phone company has also giving up all of our telephone records to the government. So they can build a database for more control. Why you might ask? Because the majority of the world will give up their freedoms so they can feel safe.... Umm Bin Laden is the Boogie Man. And even as an adult the Boogie Man still scares up shit less. But there is no need to fear. All countries Declare war. Think about it, how many times have you been in a fight and not known it? You know you can't stand someone, you know you're about to fuck them up. In most cases you tell them. "Bitch keep running off at the mouth and I will drag Yo ASS!!!!" Well the Government is no different, We did it to Iraq, The North did it to the South, War was declared for all 2 world wars and even Bin Laden did it before the towers.

So this is no different. I don't want to take off my shoes at the Airport. I don't want to not be able to bring water on the plane. I don't want to buy a 2 once squeeze of toothpaste b/c I'm flying to Cali for a week. It's freaking senseless but the cowards who live in this country insist so THEY can feel protected. Wake up and Smell the Coffee.

Posted by Xilla at 08:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

options

There is an urban legend that slim women take dick better than thick girls do. Is it fact or fiction. A friend of mines has a whole scientific explanation for it, he says that thick girls got all that thickness getting in the way and making the pussy less deep while a slim girl has more depth to her pussy. While my homeboy from La Familia, Phellah G states, the softness of you feel from thick girls skin makes it better, along with the fact that the cooch tends to be warmer. Now myself I love me some slim woman, but I also like the thick ones as well, but I do find it that the slim one can take a dick beating better than the thick ones, you try to go hard on a thicken and it's like playing keep away, you start at the foot of the bed and end up w/ her head smacking the head board if you try to go hard. Last week I wrote what is good coochie and a lot of the responses were, it depends on what the dude is doing. Well let me give the dudes out there some advice on how to make your girls go wild, check the t-shirt... ACTION!

First you have to make sure the four play is correct before you enter the love tunnel. there are several ways to do this, soft kisses on the lips or neck always work, just as long they are not to wet. No lady was a neck full of slob, illl! But once you past that zone you have to do the damn thing.

1. The N word - Nipples, you have to show the nipples equal and sufficient attention. Little circles, softly touching her skin w/ your lips or a moist finger. Tease her, consider it payback from all the previous dates when you went all out and all you got was a hug and maybe a kiss on the check. Touch her breast lightly, lick your lips and ease them over her nipple gently brushing them with your tongue, after a few more circles you might even want to bite her nipples SOFTLY now giving her the right amount of stimulation, if you did this right her back should be arching, giving you an open invitation to go downtown to the "Market"

2. Peachtree Street - (hey I'm in Atlanta) Oral. Now a lot of ladies complain that we don't know how to eat pussy. They say that we just go down there to try to get some ass and not to handle our business, the business of making them feel GREAT! So this time go down like it's not about you b/c it's NOT. This is the one time in sex where the guy does not matter. Put your face in it, start at the clit, lick suck do what you do, you might want to place your freshly washed hands... well finger inside of her and massage the roof of her tunnel. Now the key to giving good head is to keep her guessing, slow licks, up and down licks, circle licks, s shaped licks as long as you keep your ears open you'll know what she likes but here is the key don't be afraid to leave the clit, this is not hide and seek and the clit is not home base this is eating pussy 101. Do her a favor swallow... your pride that is, more then likely you're not going to make her cum with your ManXilla so eat her until she comes or is just about to she'll let you know and if you hear I'm coming go to the clit and start flicking your tongue at light speed shit hum if you have to, we all know how women feel about vibrations. Trust me you can thank me later.

3.Switching up speeds like Bruce Lee Riding a fugi in a movie - If you did the first 2 right you should be in some real good cooch right now, so try this: do what you do, but a few minutes into it stop what you doing slow it down, make her think your running out of gas, she's going to beg you not to stop you'll probably feel nails going into your back or feel her start to grind on your... well you know look her right in her eyes and pound away long fast deep stroke and pound away you don't have to finish this way but just switch it up on her and like i said earlier keep her guessing, also the deep 9 is good for a rest right after this, hit her w/ those 9 shallow strokes and that 1 deep stroke then 8 and 2 and 7 and 3 and so on... Another trick you can do is to apply a little pressure to that spot where the hair used to be, never did it, try it, if you tried it tell it.

All in all if you know what you're doing sex should be all about the female. Whether slim or thick if you're doing your thing right she should leave with her face numb and a smile on her face. But there is still the myth of who takes dick better the slim ones or the thick ones?

Posted by Xilla at 05:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

options

I'm super Horny right now... Blue balls are kicking in... but it's hump day so here is a classic blog I wrote a long ass time ago.

Dinner was wonderful, He had got a call earlier that day, laced w/ a lovely Dinner and an invitation to stay the night. She made Steak, Rice, and some of the sweetest carrots he ever tasted in his life... One bite and he was in love.. Then She Handed him a Glass of Lemon aid Iced Tea... Orgasmic. They Went into the room She said she'll be right back... He can hear her in the bathroom Freshening up. 15 minutes pass he sits an admires her pictures on the wall, That's when she walks into the room, Covered by a Green robe. HE grabs her...

Proceeds to put his mouth on her mouth, they Tounge Wrestle. But this wasn't a match to the Death this was eyes closed fingers ran thru hair, hands slowly and softly moving up and down each other's backs... He Breaks free, Licks his lips grazes them over her neck softly tracing the muscles of her shoulders... he licks sucks... flicks his tounge over that tender spot on her neck. She moans to tell him she likes it... His hand moves to her breast as she sits her on the bed... she is still naked...

Her body still has traces of Water and resonates the sweetest smell of shower gel adding to his hunger. He takes her breast in his mouth... Small and Firm just enough to fit into his mouth... not to big... not to small... He shows each nipple the proper amount of attention. Moves down to her belly button...teasing her... his hand rubbing her bald kitten... She shaves... he can feel his manhood begging to come out of his silk boxers. She arches her back as he brushes his lips over her clit. his middle finger dancing back and forth along her walls.

His mouth diving into her vagina, her legs Spread eagle... his kissed her inner thigh worked down to her Knees her ankles.. he takes her toes into his mouth and sucks each one of them... He comes back up licking the part of her leg that connects to her hips... he throws her legs up thinks about tossing her salad... wondering how she will react to that... He has only did it once....he eats... he eats... he eats... she pulls him up! tells him to lay on his back. takes his hard dick in her hand. climbs on top of him kisses him... she tastes her juices licks his lips... his neck he chest as she grinds her bare pussy over his dick. He is rock hard. she slides down Grabbing his shaft... gives his pole the once over... licks the tip. leaves it there licking his whole. Licks the vein that runs down the shaft of his pipe. comes back up and Swallows every inch of his manhood... leave a trail of spit over the top of his cock... lets her dancing hand guide her throat up and down his dick...she wants to taste him... wants the creamy filling that's on the inside of his man twinky...HE moaning moving grabbing her head.. not to ruff enjoyin the pleasure and the maintinence he is receicving from his princess.

He grabs her chin and pulls her up... soft but firm to let her know he wants to maintain control of the situation. lays her on her stomach... spreads her legs and enters her from behind. he goes in slow at first... then fast.. stays in the shallow parts of her "world" then lets his cock dive deep inside... he softly knocks... then pounds.... claps of thigh and ass take over the room Oh My GOD and yes's Take over the airways...

The Quiet Storm has taken a backseat to other sounds of Pleasure. The Headbroad of the bed cracks against the wall... she trys to hold the headbroad. can't focus as her lover crashes inside of her exits and then crashes in her Gspot over and over again... she Clenches his dick w/ her walls... the room has caves in... she cums...Barely manages to say let me get on top.. he doesn't complain.. she gets on top of him... turns her back to his face as he lays down... he grabs her ass and guides her as she places his Cock into her Kitten.

She rides... he has never felt anything so good... He last girl couldn't ride dick for shit... she was pathetic! But now he is experiences what a real woman feels like. she moves she rotates... she moans she's cumming again he feels her pussy get wetter warmer... her movement seems to be w/ a purpose. He Says he cumming she gets up in a hurry.... Grabs his dick.... and takes his load into her mouth.. Doesn't swallow but lets it dance on her tounge.. spill out of her mouth and puts on a show... she can only smile... He say's sorry... she says Don't be....

Posted by Xilla at 06:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

options

Hip Hop's G-List Couple Posing at Ashanti's Birthday

I love taking pictures, I think I have a wonderful eye when it comes to art. But for some reason of another I can never find anyone to take a good picture of me. And if someone does get a good angle, its always of me doing some stiff super lame pose. I mean it's not like I can just bust of the defacto default picture of 60% of the female population on myspace and drop a booty first, half turn smile for the camera picture. I mean Seriously Ladies can we get another pose other than the ass shot?

Now, I've thought about the classic kneel down jail pose... But this pose screams lock me up. And I'm not built for jail time nor do I wish to ever see Jail again. That's right I was placed in handcuffs and jailed for approximately 12 days. Over some bullshit w/ the worst person in the world. Shocking isn't it? But see I don't have a problem talking about jail... Because I didn't get fucked in the ass. If you know someone who has been locked up and they don't want to talk about it... It's probably b/c he got fucked in the ass. Only thing I did was play chess and watch the crack heads argue about how to properly smoke a rock of crack. I also wrote letters for the felons to their baby mothers, Jump offs and chicks on the side for extra chicken, cake, juice and bologna. Jail food fucking sucks. Young men of the world please play close attention to the chicks you're running up in raw. Learn from me.

Then there is the money pose, but I don't want people knowing I got money. For what so I could get robbed? Hell fucking no. I ain't going to floss my money. Ask Raheem DeVaughn who also contemplated jacking the dude at the strip club who was throwing money in the air like i wasn't nothing. (as stated on my radio show last night) FYI making it rain dollar bills is the dumbest thing in the world. I saw it at a strip club recently and within 5 minutes you're back at the bar getting another brick of ones. Damn dude I could have bought a ps3 w/ that or got rid of some of these credit card bills which have a headlock on my future. So fuck the money pose get caught Slipping if you want to... It won't be me.

All in all picture posing is an art form I'm still trying to master. So today I ask what's your favorite pose? So I can steal it and post them all on my myspace page!!!

My actual Mugshot...

Posted by Xilla at 10:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

options

Click Here to Check Out Pass Shows

Tonight We are pleased to bring you Raheem DeVaughn on my show The Folks With Nothing Better To Do. Now while I have your attention I just wanted to let everyone know that I have the worst Baby Mother in the world. I don't know what it was that I did to make God Punish me but I repent a million times to get rid of this woman.

A classic Blog from my brother inside.

My Brother Posted a blog that he wanted to share w/ y'all but his page is private so I will post it here. This blog was written by 100 KING$

**disclaimer** This Blog May Be Offensive to some... But BlogXilla Did not Write this and the views expressed in this blog do not reflect the veiws of The BlogFather or any of his Parent companies.



13 good reasons to avoid single mothers

1) Baby Damage - Birth has a traumatic effect on the female form. Pregnancy leaves stretch marks, saggy breasts, and c-section scars. I've also heard that the nookie is even stretch out and it isn't the same anymore. Then there's the weight gain. Most women NEVER LOSE IT or they never get their former hot shape back.

2) "I Can't Find A Baby Sitter" - Women will use this as an excuse to get out of date with you or they may legitmately can't find a baby sitter. Either case it isn't your problem and you shouldn't have to deal with it.

3) Babies Interrupt Sex - I've had this happen to me. I was banging a woman and her kid interrupted my sex. Needless to say I was pissed. If some kid is going to interrupt the meanest head you've ever gotten, that kid should have your last name.

4) Baby's Daddy - When your dealing with a woman and your getting know her, you shouldn't have to deal with kid's father. Some guys can't get over the fact that their ex has moved on. Before he was an un-attentive jerk and didn't give a jolly goddamn about her. Now that you've entered into the picture, the dude wants to be the ideal boyfriend and a "father of the year," nominee." The guy stars stalking her and wants to fight you. Even if the woman and guy are on good terms, the guy feels as if he can always smash. He knows her. He knows what she wants to hear and what makes her happy. The next know you your having this conversation- "I've decided to try and make it work with Jimmy's dad". Best way to avoid the situation is to avoid single moms.

5)Rent-A-Daddy - Realizing her mistake, realizing that kids (especially boys need fathers,) The woman gets desperate, any and every guy has the potential to be "daddy." You're out trying to get some, not inheirit a family.

6)The Kids Are Still Up - This is only a problem if your trying to pursue something other than a booty call. Wanting to spend time with you, but not wanting to bring strange men around her kids, you find yourself only seeing this female after 10 or 11PM. You want to move forward, but she has to make sure your the "one." This could take months. I suggest dealing with women that are readily available to hang out.

7) Double Heart Break - You are with the woman, then everything falls apart. You not only do you have to deal with losing the woman, but you've formed a bond with lil' Jimmy. You and Jimmy play HALO together, watch the Wizards' hoop it up, go to the zoo, and things dads do with sons or daughters. On top of maybe missing the woman, you miss the kid.

8) Your Not My Dad. - You hook up with the woman, eventually the issue of discipline is going to come up. Some kids being resentful or just being a bratty prick is going to eventuallly pull the "YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!! YOUR NOT MY DAD!!!" card. Personally if I did date single mothers and some dumba$$ kid pulled that stunt on me, I would say, "Your right. I'm not your father. Since I have no authority over you and you refuse to listen to me, you need to pack your sh*t and go live with your dad." This would be a deal breaker for me. In addition some mothers or the dad would have problem with you disciplining their kid. I'm sorry, if some kid broke my laptop, I'm whooping his a$$.

9)You Know What She Going To Do - She already has one kid, if you knock her up, it's safe to assume she's going to have another one.

10) Bad Judge of Character - This female got knocked up by somebody that she was "supposely in love with." Not only is she a bad judge of character, she's GROSSLY irresponsible. The same guy that's an a$$hole now, is the same guy she thought the world of and had unprotected sex with.

11)Unneccessary Expeditures - Eventually you'll get to meet the kid(s.) Soon those dates turn into family outings. Instead of paying for two people, your paying for three or more. The same goes if you move in with her.

12) You'll Never Be 1 - When your trying to build a relationship with somebody, you should be the focus of the woman's life. It should be about you and her. If she has a kid, you'll NEVER BE 1!!! That's not a bad thing either, but it's something I don't want to deal with. Neither should you.

13)Tag, Your It! - This should be the BIGGEST deterrent to EVER dealing with a single mother. In some jurisdictions, I think California is one of them, if you start dealing with a female with kids, move in with her and things go south. THE FEMALE CAN SUE YOU FOR CHILD SUPPORT!!!! She can claim that the her and child have "become a customed to you supporting the child." YOU COULD END UP POSSIBILY PAYING CHILD SUPPORT FOR A KID THAT ISN'T EVEN YOURS! Imagine being extorted money because you were doing what you thought was the "right thing." The state doesn't give a rat's a$$ about the relationship being over or you being a "good guy." They just don't want the chick on welfare. So as far as your concerned, it's "TAG, YOUR IT!"

Posted by Xilla at 05:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

options

Too much info. or Not enough info.

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blond woman waving at
him and greets him with "Hello!"

He's rather taken aback, because he can't place where he knows her from. So
he says, "Do you Know me?"

To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."

Now, his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I had on the pool table with all my buddies watching, while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?"

She looks into his eyes and startled and says, "Noooooo, I'm your son's 1st Grade
teacher."

Who's wronger the teacher for not giving enough info. or dad for giving up too much? Don't know regardless this lends to an embarrassing situation. Which leads me to triflin' azz friends who tell too much. Have you ever been in a pimp-like situation where you have somebody or a few people right where you want them? They are in that gray area..near the truth, but too dumb to know it? And you have someone triflin', usually a friend, come and kill all your plans with their machete mouth. Then they act like they were doing you a favor!

What are some ways you've gotten burned by the TMI faerie? If you don't have anyone that has done it to you then you are the one running your mouth.

Is it me?
~ a another exaggerated truth by the perverted monk

Posted by Perverted Monk at 12:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

options

What is he thinking, his face doesn't have the same smile that usually accompanies those crayon brown eyes. His face looks etched out of the same stone the Great Pyramids are made from. Well inside his mind you'll find the same theories that Pavlov used to experiment w/ his dogs. He sees the world differently he understands the corruption of the government and something inside of him helps him rationalize the irrational. But in a good way. It's like the stimulation that once made him extremely happy has left him sitting in a field of lillies, which is a medium sized cubicle surrounded by similar cubicles staring at an adjustable flat screen monitor w/ a picture of his future.

People say the only person, place or thing I care about is myself, I tend not to know anybodies business buy my own. But you see I'm facing everything and staring it straight in the eye and honestly I don't have time for anything else. My back is against the wall so sue me if I'm listening but all i hear about is myself. My whole life I've never been reliable, so the last few years I've bust my ass to be everything to everybody but shit... Sometimes I don't want to do shit, Some days... I look in the mirror and stare at the image until I start seeing that person I was on my way to becoming. Sometimes I even see the person I used to be. Am I lying to myself? I mean I feel like I'm the greatest person on earth and honestly I don't even lose a lick of sleep when I say the shit b/c I truly feel that it's a privilege to be in my presence. Then something in my world will bring me crashing down to the soil which is soaked w/ the blood of slaves, pimps and hard working people of this country.

More times than not it's a girl, some girl who claimed to love me but expected some sort of miracle man thought up by Eric Jerome Dickey, who wines and dines them and never has to go to work ever during the 300 plus page novel. But who am I to throw stones? I tend to see women and shift through them looking for the golden nugget in a pile of girlfriends, beyonce songs and porn flicks watered down in hoe polluted waste scientifically called H20. When the reality is that I don't know what's tomorrow going to hold. My Golden Ticket has now transformed into one of those cheap raffle tickets. The same as all the others. There is so much bullshit in life that you think the earth is a marble shoved up a cow's ass.

Up until last night when the hammer came down and knocked me out of my wonderful past reality of having shit all together, my golden ticket which once loved me enough to make everything else seem meaningless sprouted a mouth and told me I was a shark with a death grip on their ankle destined to bring them into the cold dark murky waters of life to devour them into pieces.

So I've come to the conclusion that my box is my prison, and that someone who will accept me for me will never come into picture that i must change some things. That true love doesn't exist, only giant sized rat traps w/ "kittens" for bait, pipe dreams and lemon pepper wings. My mind is focused on the evils of the world, and I am only one of Pavlov's Dogs drooling on my BCBG button up shirt every time someone waves a tender morsel in front of my face as they take notes off my reactions to master how to destroy The Heart of a MAN.

Posted by Xilla at 08:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

options

In 1997 Ohmega Watts began getting pieces of equipment and started to produce, then in '98 upgraded himself to his now trusty MPC 2000. He began learning about diggin' in the crates for breaks, and samples, and finding out who were some key musicians back in the Jazz, Rock, Soul and funk era's. From that point on to present day, Watts has been diggin in the crates and producing tracks for his unit Lightheaded members, and close family of cats he's come to build relationships with. When I heard this dudes "The Platypus Strut" I instantly wanted to go on Soul Train Circa 1978.

I love katz whose music take you back to a time when life was easier, simple and free! He hear a hint of Pete Rock, Hi-Tek and Tribe. I enjoys this dude tremendously! I felt like pop locking after I heard his music. Don't under estimate me a sista can pop!

Enjoy Ohmega Watts

Posted by Perverted Monk at 12:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

options

Last night I had a dream that I met Rihanna, and she was facsinated w/ my nuts, she tickled them, licked them and did things I only scene Jasmine Cashmere do in porn flicks. Needless to say I woke up w/ a major hard on. So I immediatly ran to my computer to find something to handle this erection. But the geek in me took over. I found myself surfing the web to find out how the hell did we end up calling testicles... NUTS!!!

Turns out that back in the day a great king of a great land captured his enemy from a not as great kingdom, of a not as great land. He challeged him to a kicking contest and while bragging he said.. "I shall kick you that your testies will crack like ye mighty nuts.

Okay well maybe it didn't go like that but... who cares right? Right! Woman are facsinated with nuts. This bag of squishy skin, hurts when you kick it, feels amazing when you lick it, and sometimes produce a foul stench that men don't get half of the complaints that women get for smelling foul. The reproductive system lets us make babies. In the reproductive system, Nuts are called gonads. Well My GoNads are huge.

Sometimes I have to do this skittle wiggle to get my nuts to sit properly in my pants. I dream to straddle a woman, and drop my nuts in a girls mouth. oops did I just write that in public? oh well. Here is my poem

Nuts Don't Kick them

Nuts You should Lick them

Nuts if you sniff them

You might get sick from them

thank you. MY NUTS are golden!!!

Posted by Xilla at 09:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

options

SHameless self promotion.... check the times before you blast me... lol




Tonight We are going to discuss race relations on My weekly radio show It starts at 8 eastern please be sure to check it out. Thanks for your time Click the banner below to get there and listen live.

Tonight on the Folks

Posted by Xilla at 11:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

options

Trey Songz on the BED remix

I'm sitting in the house doing my usual scan for topics and stuff to blog about and I stumble across this treat the Bed Remix feat Trey Songz... WOW. I feel like I should have my sweetie here right now so I could...

Lay her down and put my face between her legs and lick from top the bottom, slowly and softly parting her lips w/ my tongue. The soft moistness of her clit feels like amazement on my tongue. After getting my mouth and her pleasure point really really moist I'll slip my fingers inside of her and have them start walking through her tunnel like New Edition in the Can You Stand the Rain Video.

I'll ease up and take my time loving her breast... I mean this is Breast cancer awareness month so I must show them some love. I'll take my tongue and suck on her nipples, lick them, making perfect symmetrical circles that would make the coolest geometry teacher jealous. (are they're any cool geometry teachers?)

Continuing to move up I'll briefly stop at her neck and to boost her anticipation for entry, only to stop at her lips to look in her eyes and kiss her. Kiss her so she could taste her self on me... So she can experience the same wonderfulness I just experienced. And as she enjoys sucking her own juices off my tongue I'll ease my ManXilla inside of her. As she jerks I'll bite her bottom lip.

While I thrust myself inside of her slowly but deeply until... I go hard. Start fucking her, you know that sweaty sex that makes the bed scream in agony. Battling her for supremacy for the loudest noise in the room. But I'm a shit talker. So she'll be my dirty little... Her shoulders will be my catapult to throw my dick deeper inside of her. I'm a bit forceful so clothing might get ripped, hair might get pulled but I know one thing is for sure... after we are done we are going to be deep in that unconscious are they dead type sleep after we are done.

Posted by Xilla at 11:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

options

The picture you see above is from the movie Juice. It's the scene where Q sees a fly tender hard at work at her job at a local record shop who looks like a Goddess from behind... But then she turned around. This proves to me that God has a sense of humor. I was at the club this weekend, now although I don't party until the ugly light comes on I still party hard. What's the Ugly Light you might ask? Well it's when the party is over and they turn the lights on. Pay attention the next thing that happens and you'll see the ugly people scatter like roaches... the ones w/ 2 different color navy blues, or busted weaves that get a pass a dark room filled w/ drunk people. Let me tell you what happened to me this weekend.

So I'm at the bar right, sitting down and enjoying the music, trying to see which song the DJ will play that gets the crowd hype... Maybe I can find a new favorite song. Honestly I was just waiting for them to play Crank Dat SoulJa Boy so I can do my dance!! Yooouuuuuuuaaa!!!!

So I'm drinking... and Drinking and on about my fourth drink, it happens They play my song! I put my drink down and do my dance, I got tired since I'm old but that was really my only reason to go to the club, satisfied for the night, I go back to sit at the bar and I see this girl walk up to the bar and have a seat. Wow I'm thinking look at her body and her hair is freshly done. See that's someone who knows how to take care of them self.

I hit the bartender up who was my best friend for the night. I think T-Pain lives in my soul b/c the week before I was in Love w/ a Stripper (blog to come) and this week I liked the Bartender. Honestly she was cool peoples we were both from Jersey so we clicked and laughed at the NC alumni of the state. So while we are laughing the fly chick on the other end of the bar calls the bartender over. And BAM!!!

The girl w/ the ass like Serena, the Boobs like Meagan good... was blessed w/ the face of James Evans... the father from Good Times. My heart was broken, so broken that it hopped out of my chest fell in my drink, ran out the door, stole someones car and crashed a 82 Buick back into my chest. Yeah it was that bad. This is when I knew God has a sense of Humor.

But It works both ways I noticed the ladies on the dance floor doing their thing when someone walks up behind them and starts grinding on their ass. Then that's when the look over the shoulder comes into play and they stop dancing once they realize they were dancing w/ the mail version of Stripe from Gremlins.

How do you handle Ugly?

Posted by Xilla at 10:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

options

Is it me or does Nick Cannon look like a Tortise?

Posted by Perverted Monk at 11:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

options

"Two and half men Star" Charlie Sheen is in love and he's all shook up! He has agreed to have all of his tattos lasered off to prove to his new true love that he is serious about this fellationship....relationship! He has 12 tats that includes a sign on his chest scribed "Back in 15 mins!"

I love tattoos on a guy as much as the next tattos loving woman, but really is it necessary to have your geneology all over your back? If you're laying the pipe and I happen to dig in, "Aww damn I just scratched out grandma! She gon' be mad?" OR...

If you die, who is going to know where the family came from? You're forcing your family to perserve your skin like that crazy dude from Silence of the Lambs.

It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again. [to his dog, Precious] Yes, it will, Precious, won't it? It will get the hose!

Is it me? What's up with all the faces of every deceased member in the family or all the kids you have. Don't you remember what they look like? When you turn 60 years old they're all gonna look like the Mask from Scream, anyway!

Don't do that!

TOP 6 Tattoo Faux Pauxs!

1. If you are trying to enter into Corporate America- Tattos on your neck is just plain wrong, to me! I've seen people with dirty necks coloring in the openings of "e's", "a's" and "o's." What does your neck say, poor? Oh pear! How are you going to go into an interview for an executive position with a turtleneck in the summer trying to cover up "Sexy B!tch" or "Crip OG" written on your neck? If you wanted to get into corporate America later in life remember that isn't professional.

2. Do not get the name of someone you are focking! 9 out of 10 times that is all it is going to be anyway! If you're going to get a name, get a nickname you can always say it's your nickname!

Ex.) He says, "Aye..who da fock is Ray-Ray?" You say, "That's me baby!" He says, "But your name is Lisa." Er-Uh-Oh exactly, like Lisa Raye...you love her ass! He says ":W-well I do love her ass."

3. Do not get every face of your family on your body. Your skin look like the pit of hell! Stop it!

4. Do not get "thug, thug life, thugged out, #1 thug" tattooed if you aren't a thug. Somebody's gonna test your theory.

5. Men homosexual or not, butterflies, Sailor Moon, and other girly swirly things ain't the business! It just don't look right!

6. Women homosexual or not thugged out GI Joes, Tonka trucks and other handy manly things ain't the business. It definately does not look right.

Those are my top 6 can you add to it? I'm not discourgaing tattoos all I saying is Imma need folks to have little bit of common sense when getting one!

Posted by Perverted Monk at 10:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

options

Queen Margrethe II Of Denmark Visits South Korea

Also in Entertainment News:

There is a rumor going around saying that Karrine "Superhoe" Steffans is engaged to Eddie Winslow aka Darius McCrary. First Urkel transforms into Stefan (see the connection) and plays Sonic The Hedgehog. Waldo Geraldo Faldo turns gay along w/ the father Carl Winslow and The Youngest Daughter leaves the show to do porn... And Now this. Can anyone say F'd up. I thought the cast of DIfferent Strokes was bad. Recently at a convention for retired black TV actors against Michael Vick & BET Eddie said "I met her at the club and she immediately started sucking me off I hadn't seen anyone drop like that since I walked in on Rosetta "Mama Winslow" LeNoire in wardrobe! I knew I had to marry her after that"

Nanny Nanny Boo Boo

After the Goldman saw OJ on TV wearing a Rolex they immediately called their lawyer who watched Friday too many times. He called a Judge to have OJ turn it over, after the judge decided that the watch too belonged to the Goldmans he was overheard saying "I won gimme dat ROLLI!!!" Turns out the watch was a fake worth about $125.00. Hey OJ if you're reading this holla at me I know a spot in ChinaTown where you can get a rolli for about ten bucks.

Posted by Xilla at 11:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

options

I had a long conversation w/ my mother last night, OK well it wasn't that long but I remember growing up my mother never brought enough sugar to go w/ the packets of Kool-Aid. That shit would piss me off. There were always big wars going on in my house b/c none of us ever made a whole picture of Kool-Aid. it was like you'd go to the cabinet get a pack of kool-aid and all of them would be open b/c someone, I'm not saying any names, would rip open the package and make one fucking cup of Kool-Aid. SMCH!! HOw are you going to make one cup!! and not a whole pack? I mean how many sprinkles do you put in the cop like 5? I mean it's not like they even give you a whole spoon full? You know what's worst?

Flavor Aid. I almost had a fight w/ the Arab in the store b/c they didn't sell Kool-aid only flavor aid and when i walked into the store, fiending for a cup of grape kool-aid, and the clerk handed me Flavor Aid. I felt like he just called my girlfriend a whore. Nicka? Do I look like I drink Flavor Aid to you? Do i have Idiot written across my head? Come w/ Real Kool-Aid brovah!!!

I can't fathom how my corner store would have everything from car batteries, White Tee's, Dvd's, corn, cake, candy, beer, slushies, hot dogs, chips, condoms, shoes, gucci shades, lottery tickets, those little jewlery bags, pickled pig feet and more but not have Kool-Aid. I wanted to bomb that place. So i had to drive a full 2 blocks to wal-mart to get some Kool-Aid. This was very upsetting to me.

How and were do they get all this stuff? I think its the government who sells them this stuff and puts it in the hood so the blacks don't have to leave.What does your corner store sell?

Posted by Xilla at 05:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

options

You know, people are super quick to judge and say things about other people. I must say I'm all for individualism, freedom of expression. I am fascinated w/ the weirdo. The office freak, the one who wears sweat socks w/ church pants. The dweebs of the world, b/c their minds tick a little differently. I often wonder the courage inside of a person to defy all trends and normalcy to be them self. Maybe It's not even a conscious effort it just comes naturally. The girl who has a fetish for designer shoes, and can tell you the stats of every body in every sport exist. But Love is a Luxury everyone needs. The type of love tha curls your toes and makes your body shine. Love is different to everyone, me for instance my version of love is unlike the traditional version of love. I'm so difficult to deal w/ it's not even funny. What is Love about To you?

I used to think that love was some sort of emotions but it's so much more than that, more than holding and embracing someone. It's putting up w/ them for the selfish bastard they are and being fine w/ it. See I want someone who will love me for me. But at the same time you can't always have it your way, love is about change. So for now I'm looking inside of my soul to find out who is inside and have a long conversation w/ myself and figure a few things out.

Posted by Xilla at 07:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

options

Jamie Foxx & SuperHead talked sex and more sex she gives some nice tips on how she does it and sucking dick of course. But this interview got me to thinking how does one know that she/he is a sexual Intellectual. Now I've got to come from both sides of this blog. Because men are probably looking for freak who will get down right after the club, and Ladies are probably not trying to get locked down w/ the Duce Bigalow of the clubs. Yet, we don't pick up on the signs. So here are a few.

(Smile For Me Daddy)

There is a certain glitter in the eye of the lady who wants to sex on the first night, They will look you up and down and gaze at the D. Also pay attention to the things they say, sexual innuendos will fly out of her mouth, girls are just as bad as guys if not worst, take the girl at work for instance. They will imply that you must have fucked her real good based on the smile on her face, when they are talking about your girl. Also they like to have their coochie ate, so if you simply ask what should I have for lunch, dinner or breakfast listen out for the I got something you can eat... A sexual joke isn't just a joke most of the time.

(I can see it in your eyes)

Dudes on the other hand will do one of two things, Undress you w/ his eyeballs while saying the most charming things to you, or just flat out come out and say it.... "Gurlll the things I would do to you hmmmmm" Also watch out for the flosser, the big baller who gets rid of his possessions like a used napkin. If he can't commit to a watch, cell phone, or favorite pair of socks chances are he won't be able to commit to a woman either. So pay attention or you'll be sitting on your bed heartbroke writing poems about dead crickets and flowers w/ rose pedals.

What is your way of coming out and telling someone you want to fuck?

Posted by Xilla at 02:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

options

As of this week I am a year older and I feel wonderful, I've come to understand things a lot more. I am a father and being a father comes before any and everything in my life. My daughters are my world. In a few months I will be going back to school, and beginning to right a few wrongs I made along the journey to adulthood. Like leaving school and not pursuing my dream to be a musician. But nonetheless I had a ball this weekend.

Friday I left work to the sweetest feeling in the world, in the arms of the one I love. I got home to some bad news my daughter was bad in school so I would have to put a hold on my celebration to discipline my child. But the highlight of my weekend was a conversation I had in my living room w/ Dana & Mel about the comments above from "Bill Oh Really!?!"

Dude was amazed that a Black restaurant is just like a white restaurant... Also he made some comments about the black family lacking fathers. Now although I don't live w/ my child I am very much involved in her life. And like I said my child comes before everything. Even SEX, and as in this weekend I had to leave my friends behind to be a father... It wasn't hard, It wasn't a burden it was my duty to make sure my daughter doesn't end up on a pole. So Next Monday, Ish, Taymah and myself will be holding a town meeting to discuss Race, family and life as it relates to the different races. I'm looking for panel members to discuss taking part on the show. We can discuss these topics and more in the comment section of the blog.

Posted by Xilla at 08:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

options

Well not quite back but I got a grand ole blog for y'all tomorrow. But until then a quickie will have to do. I know we all have some moments of our childhood that we are ashamed of, mine would have to be the Black HIstory play where I played a young Jackie Robinson hopping around on stage doing a military cadence. Or this old ass black, red & green sweater my mom thought was hott!! But what's your childhood moment you wish never to get put on youtube.

Posted by Xilla at 12:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

options