[BlogXilla] Dot Com

The picture you see if from last Halloween, my friend told me as he sent he deebo’d from someone’s facebook page. It started this big discussion about cheating, is this cheating, did he bang the groupie chick who is known for banging ball players and has been seen on the fifty year line at the superdome? He started telling me about how he does xy and z and its not cheating. The conversation got pretty intense. So here are a few of my theories of what’s cheating and what’s not.

WHAT IS CHEATING: [while in a relationship]

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The picture you see if from last Halloween, my friend told me as he sent he deebo’d from someone’s facebook page. It started this big discussion about cheating, is this cheating, did he bang the groupie chick who is known for banging ball players and has been seen on the fifty year line at the superdome? He started telling me about how he does xy and z and its not cheating. The conversation got pretty intense. So here are a few of my theories of what’s cheating and what’s not.

WHAT IS CHEATING: [while in a relationship]

(more…)

Eva knows nothing beats smoking after sex cept more sex.

And I think there may be something to this white toe nail thing

T.I. Snitching? Who knows but somebody got locked up

There is a Marley sex tape? No Kidding

Usher finally let his baby get photographed

These Blue Suede Shoes for my fetish going out of control

Megan Good is looking hella Good

Travis from the Gym Class Heroes little brother Tyga got robbed by some goon from G-Unit. Not to worry Lil Wayne got it back they don’t seem too concerned with that since his imagine isn’t thug or nothing like that. But Travis, Ne-Yo and Omar got together to chat it up @ the WeMix Webby Awards After Party. I know you’re wondering what are they talking about? Well here are some things men talk to other men about.

A S S - Yes we talk about booty! If you walk pass a crowd of men there is a 90% chance we are going to start a conversation about your butt. It’s too fat, too wide, just right, an onion, an apple or whatever other slang used at the time.

Sex - We will tell our friends most, not all of the details of the jump off we banged last night. I know me personally, I have a rule to never tell anything if the dude knows the chick, seen her in person or knows someone she knows.

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7. A Bottle of Hot Sauce – Whether it’s franks, Texas Pete or Bull you never know when you’re going to need hot sauce or when your man will need some. So be a good wifey and keep some hot sauce on you.

6. A Rat Tail Comb - Because braiding hair, or a track malfunction can take place at any time in Urban America and with the price of gas so high you might have to do some hair on demand just to get home.

5. MAC lip Gloss - This is needed especially if you’re involved with a dude like me because you never know when you’ll have to re-do your lips. If you know what I mean

4. Smart Phone/Cell - For ordering Chinese food, checking your email or posting a blog, sending a tweet or making an emergency booty call. Hell you might just need to call for back up.

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Let’s face it In Urban America we steal in order to get by. No, we don’t rob banks or commit B&E’s [break in & Entry's] We still little stuff. So I’ve compiled a list of things Urbanites steal the most.

• Cable – We all know someone who has the box, got the hook up or know a guy who knows a guy that work for the cable company and knows how to steal cable. I know a lot of people were grateful that the wire started coming on BET the best free channel in the world.
• Kool-Aid – Whether it’s putting it under the pile of circulars at the bottom of your cart [or buggy depending on your geographical location] or if you just pocket a handful of kool-aid most people have or do take them. Grape or Red is the main question to ponder before committing this theft.
• Rent to Own – This is the Urbanites oldest hustle, Renting an item and moving a month after the merchandise is delivered. I have relatives who have furnished their whole apt from Rent-A-Center & Aaron’s. So next time you walk into an Urban apt and wonder why it looks like cribs on a retail salary wonder if they’ve visited R.A.C.
• Clothing – Hey girl let me borrow that shirt/dress/or shoes!! The lender knows in the back of their mind that they are never going to get those new shoes back. They know that Quisha has been plotting to borrow those since the day you bought them. Joell Ortiz reps for the dudes in one of his songs when he raps about borrowing his boys shirt in Brooklyn You don’t want that back!!!
• Your Love – The most stolen thing in the hood is… You guessed it, SEX. There is a common knowledge in Urban America that everybody sleeps with everybody. So best believe someone is going to try to sleep w/ your girlfriend/boyfriend. Chances are you know your bf/gf ex and you all probably had class together. This is the exact meaning of small world. My best friend was with my high school sweetheart before I was… Its just a part of life.

What Have You Stolen?

There is an old adage which states that a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Well I believe that a lot of females have forgotten that saying. But whose fault is it? The Mother’s for not teaching her daughter how to cook? The Daughter for not learning how to cook? or the Dad’s for walking out on the mother, leaving the mother to work all day and not find time for her child?

Regardless of whose fault it is, I’m a bit perturb at the idea that 75% of females I’ve been with can’t or couldn’t cook. There was the one who could only boil chicken, the one who burned a hamburger and another who knew how to order the best of everything that delivered. I can ORDER CHINESE BY MY DAMN SELF!!

Learn to cook watch Rachel “I’m not a Muslim” Ray, scream BAM from the kitchen every now and then when you through some seasoning in a pot of stew. I want to smell the aroma of basil and 35 herbs and spices resonating from the kitchen area every once in a while. I get tired of the scent of MSG coming from a brown paper bag with a white plastic bag with a smile on the front. I have at least 400 liltte pieces of cardboard in my cabinet drawer from take out. A million menus and way too many packets of soy sauce in my BRROOWWNN PAaapperr BAaagggg!! I feel like DJ. Khalid or something.

Besides I don’t want to have to look Mr. Chan in the eye while he fumbles for my change in his pockets with hopes that I tell him to keep the change. Because I’m not going to tell him to keep the change b/c I’m going to have to see him again in a few days because my girl can’t cook!! SMCH!!!

Deep down inside of each and every person in the world is a bit of vanity to self absorb that it kisses itself more than the avg person blinks – All is Vanity

$19 – Designed By Humans