C.A.F. Confusion After [the f-word]ing. Why does this happen? We all have heard it said, sex confusing things. Two people have been talking as friends for a while and one too many long island ice teas later they’ve slept together and things gets nuts.

She now thinks she is his girlfriend. She starts checking his cell phone, looking under his car seats for condom wrappers and smelling his dick whenever she sees him. Even when they bump into each other at the grocery store. She starts to call his house at all times of the night to see if she hears “that B*tch” in the background. She does things she never has done before because she is now dicknotized.

He nows stalks her myspace page, threatens to beat up her play brothers, real brothers and cousins because they blinked in her presence. He shows up at her job, trying to take her out to lunch at 8am in the morning. She calls her 50 million times to which she ignores every single call like her phone doesn’t ring. He then calls from a block number like she didn’t see his number on her caller id 2 milliseconds earlier. SMCH

They are both confused. But for what? You just had sex idiots, you were drunk and horny and your “friend” was in the room at the time. It doesn’t mean you now hold the exclusive rights. It means that you just slept with your friend because you were drunk and horny. Or whatever the circumstances might be. It’s nothing more. Sex should never confuse things. Unless you define everything out nothing changes. Or I should say nothing should change. What do you think?

I think many of us have been down that road when you find out that the person you just started dating, or at least have a mutual interest in, has kids. You really like this person, so you think you might give it chance, or perhaps their children don’t bother you at all… yet. I’ve come up with some reasons why it is not a good idea to get in a relationship with someone with kids.

Their baby mava/fava drama. Sometimes when a man and woman fall in love (lust, if on a drunken one night stand) and a child, they don’t always get along afterwards. Your partner’s ex may resent the fact that he or she has a new love in their life and might want to start some trouble between you two. Your partner’s ex might also want to use the kids(s) to spy on you and your boo when he’s got the for the weekend. Another thing, if your woman’s baby fava is doing a bid, you do not want to be confronted by an angry man who just got out of prison for a body as to why his son is calling you ‘daddy’. Or you have to deal with your man’s mood swings ‘cause that bitch keeps trying to increase her child support when he only gets paid $12 an hour.

Having a child is not exciting to them. If you get this far into a relationship, the joy of a first boy/girl is lost on them because they’ve already had a child(ren). They just won’t share in that happiness with you, and you might resent that.

They might still be having sex with their child’s mava/fava. This one hits close to home because this is my situation. He feels he can’t really commit to you because they still have sex. The reason they had a child in the first place is because there was chemistry from the jump, and they’re still on very good terms. You know that it shouldn’t take him four hours to drop his little boy off at his mother’s, but you know you can’t stop him from seeing his little one every weekend, especially if all he lives for are those weekends with his kid.

Their kids come first. When you hear your love say that their kids are the love of their live, you can’t help but feel mixed feelings of happiness that he/she really loves their kids and they are very involved in their life, and sadness because you’re number three in line in this order – 1. their kids, 2. themselves, 3. you; and that’s if they’re not on good terms with their exes. There really is no room for your relationship to grow, and to be honest, he’s only got time for phone sex and an occasional movie.

Before Jay-z and Beyonce, before Nick Cannon and Mariah, and before Fantasia & Dro the number 1 hood couple was Aaliyah & Dame Dash. In my opinion the coolest hip hop couple ever. Dame once said of Aaliyah “Wherever we were was like our own little party, in our own little world. She was the only girl that got to hang out with my homeboys on the level of a homeboy. It was like being able to be with your homeboy and your girl at the same time” If that’s not hood love. For the rest of the list Scroll down.

Rumors of them kissing on video shoots, being number 2 in your own video, and having the hottest rapper call you out on it… BITCHASSNESS Diddy & Ma$e come in @ Number 5

Faith & Tupac comes in @ number 4 being as if they weren’t really a couple they just fcuked. This relationship reeks of hood. Faith being the grimey Newark NJ chick she is, said F if i’m married imma be the hoe my momma raised and crept over to Pac. Pac being the hood dude he was shouted it to the whole world in a song. Classic hoodness, and what was the end result? The dude dead the female left to continue running her whoredom.

At number 3, Mike Tyson & Robin Givens. Mike never scared to go upside his chicks head when she got out of line was the King Kong Gorilla pimp of the 80’s. Robin the black Ivanna Trump took that dude for everything he owned. A few smacks upside the head are worth millions.

Leave it up to the coolest white person in the world to be the most hood. At number 2 is Kim & Marshall. Drugs, Pistol whippings, jail, and threats of murder. Almost every ghetto stereotype a couple could be these two are that. Look at the picture closely Kim even has a pack of newports in her hand. SMCH

Apparently there is an actually Ghetto Film School where Dame Dash & Marky Mark are on the advisory board. Part of there mission statement is “ASSETS-BASED teaching – recognizing the glass is also “half-full” with today’s urban youth” I wonder if they teach people how to make movies like Soul Plane and Death of a Dynasty. Oh and the 2 woman Dame is hugged up with are also in attendance at the 4th Annual Ghetto Film School benefit dinner and awards ceremony at Bottino on June 9, 2008 in New York City. I bet they served Fried Chicken and Watermelon.

If you could see the look on my face right now. I started to write this long rant on how big lips are in and how everyone wants to be a nigger. But then I realized that I might as well know who a person is before I bash them. So I google Amanda Lepore and come to find out this is a man!!! So I’ll just reserve my comments to myself.

Tina said: “Beyonce was one of the ones that were sitting in front of her little television, her little self looking at the big screen when I was Tina in the ‘Ike and Tina Turner days’ and she took from all the stars at the time. Diana Ross influenced her, I influenced her. What I like about her is that she knows what she’s doing, she really did her homework and decided to stay elegant. She’s not rock ‘n’ roll – she’s totally elegant. Unless your rock ‘n’ roll from the heart you can’t mimic that. The stance, the movements, it has to come from the inside.” Source

Newsflash Tina, I don’t think Beyonce was born, I do think all those blows to the head did something to your thought process. Looooovvveee Yooooo