I have been invited to a bachelorette party *yawn* for my cousin. Nothing thrills my heart anymore than spending an evening in a dusty room that smells of badussy, chicken fingers and bottom-shelf rum&cokes while watching some menz gyrate about in their draws. *Stone-faced* Seriously, I don’t know if men know it, (or care) but male strippers are not the business.

I have found most of the time they are either gay or whoreish or both. Don’t get me wrong, female strippers have the extra sheen of jizz dirt on them also, but the male version just seems worse to me. All mixed with testosterone, S-Curl juice, and AXE deodorant. I.Just.Can’t. Don’t get it wrong, I LOVE men, in all their nekkidness, but that whole rub it on my thigh and I slip a fiver in your thong just doesn’t do it for me.

The R-Kelly case is full of lies and deception. The alleged victim is lying saying it’s not her, The defendant might be lying saying its not him and even may be cleared by a mole. Go figure! Now childhood friend of the alleged victim has identified her as the one in the tape. It made me wonder who is the better liar Men or Women?

After an intense discussion Ninja Girrl decided to take me to blog court for all of you to decide. Who lies better Men or Women. Plaintiff.

Ninja Girrl Closing Arguments

Men. Ya’ll know ya’ll can LIE! And so much better than women. We put emotion into everything, sex, friendship, relationships, EVERYTHING! It’s hard to keep a straight face when lying! And one lie begets another and another and a sister and a brother….sorry *Slick Rick moment* But seriously, like children, a man can get caught in the middle of doing some dirt, and will swear on the Bible, Koran and whatever book the Mormons read that they: “….ain’t do nothing!!”

Other excuses usually go a little like this: “She took advantage of ME, she made me fall into her p*ssy and!“, “It wasn’t like that, your cousin came on to ME, you know she’s a hoe!!”, “See, what had happened was…” (Ninja lesson: if it starts with that, it’s ALWAYS a lie), and the classic: “I was with my boys all night and my boy had a flat tire, then we got stuck at his Mama’n'em, then he had to pick up his brother and thats why I didnt come last night.“, “I swear!! It wasn’t me on that video tape, what I look like peeing on someone?”
Negro Please. I rest my case.

Xilla’s Closing Arguments Women Lie Better

Its obvious by the words above that females not only lie better that they can’t defend their own stance. Think about it, “This is my real hair, These are my real nails, That is Angel Lola Luvs real butt” its an epidemic. I almost forgot the king of all lady lies. “This is your baby.” The disease of deception was born from the first woman eve, here Adam eat this it’s good for you. SMCH!! Women Lie and they lie good.

When they lie they will call up every female they know and corroborate their story, Sasha, Monet, and Karen will all be in on it. So while you think she’s at a family reunion for a week she’s with Jaffa the Jamaican getting her back blown out 12 ways from Tuesday. I bet if a female can find it in her heart to be real with herself for one minute she can think of 5 guys who still think a lie she told is true till this day. But sure, if you believe Ninja Girl is correct then I’ll just use the most famous female lie of all on you. “It’s not you…It’s me.“

So LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE JURY WE NEED YOU… WHO LIES BETTER, MEN OR WOMEN?