Jasmine Guy told Essence “I think our younger women have lost the ability to embrace their womanhood. There’s so much we try to do that’s against our nature, and it’s made us hard, cold, bitter and fearful.” The writer of the article said it was a great point to which “Whitley” added:

“…a lot of us are without partners, so we have to do double duty. We develop another part of ourselves to compensate for that. We haven’t been taught that those things that are innate in us-being maternal or being soft or being vulnerable-are good things. We’re taught to be strong and in that strength comes a certain dismissal of what we’re really feeling inside.”

I’m not sure where I stand on this one, on one hand I believe that women should be strong. Strong enough to support her man if needed. Yet she should still be a woman who is able to do things that are generally associated with being a woman, like cooking, cleaning, and all the things Donna Reed did.

At the same time a woman has to be strong because some men have never received home training. I can understand how a woman would develop a hard exterior shell with the way men, lie, cheat and break hearts all for the chance to stick themselves in a woman. A good looking woman can’t walk 20 steps without a man trying to bang them. I guess this is a yet another no win situation for the woman.

I need you to think for a minute, think of that person who regardless of your relationship status, you’ll sleep with them. We’ve all played the other lover, either in our heads or cannot circumstances, unless other wise asked. Even then don’t call. The last thing you want is for the main piece to answer the phone, b/c breaking these 2 up is not your goal. This person is a cheater, but the sex is great and the only reason you’re involved with them is for a nut, not love. Never forget that.

Be Available – Now when the other party calls, you have to find the time to meet up with them. Reschedule meetings, find someone to pick up your dry cleaning, or jump out of a window, but find time. No one wants a mistress who is alway busy, so find time.

Say No to No – A good mistress does everything and all things the main piece doesn’t do. So read up on the Atlanta mouth smack.

Remain Focus – Focus is important b/c regardless of how wonderful this mini relationship may or may not be, you can never want more. You can never give more. The very moment you become the other love, being the main love will never work. Focus is also needed because you’ll need to remember your underwear when you get ready to leave.

Never Tell – Even if you get caught… Deny everything.