A few of my followers on twitter, including MissMedidijah, believe that having sex in front of a infant child is disrespectful to yourself and the child, but is that really the case?

Tasha was a single mother, about her business. She worked at a decent job, had her own car, and struggled to make ends meet. Despite not being rich she didn’t need a man for anything else but companionship. As many of you know it’s hard for single mothers to find love.

Many a weekend nights she spent alone in her one bedroom apt with her 6 month old child. Until she met Craig, a tall dark and handsome brother she met buying groceries at the supermarket.

Normally she wouldn’t give a guy the time of day, but he was fine and he made her baby laugh. Damn it who says she has to be lonely, she thought as she wrote her number on her check out receipt. They had went on a two family friendly dates befores, so she felt comfortable enough to invite him over for dinner. After dinner things got hot, Craig leaned in and kissed her. She hadn’t felt a mans lips in months, overwhelmed before she knew it the two of them were having sex in her bed, while her child slept only inches away from them. Both of them were extra quiet as to not wake the baby. Occasionally, she would let out a small moan and he would fight hard to withhold his grunts, nothing was disrespectful about his movements of actions, he really liked Tasha. They enjoyed a few more moments watching tv together before he left later that night.

The next day, Tasha told her girlfriend all the details of what happened. Her friend called her all types of whores and sluts, eventually ending in the two of them no longer speaking. Tasha felt terrible, she couldn’t see Craig anymore, her conscious wouldn’t allow her, and to make matters worst, she couldn’t bring her self to date any man after that.

Since that time Tasha has advanced her career and upgraded her situation. Maybe it was the loneliness that fueled her to advance her career, but she lives in a nice sized townhouse now, but deep inside she holds a lot of resentment towards her child due to the extreme amount of loneliness she feels.

Is having sex with a baby in the bed really that bad? I mean a young child who will never remember anything even if the child does wake up and sees it’s mother with a mouth full of the manxilla lodged in her throat. Well you’ll be surprised, at how often this happens. I’ve f*cked in front of snoring babies, been sucked in front of kids, rode and swallowed in front of somebody else’s sleeping child, and yet not all of the women who performed these acts were slurs, jumpoffs or whores. Some of them were good honest women who didn’t think there was anything wrong w/ this.

I’ll admit a time or two I gave more than a few of them the sexual side eye, but I understood the struggle of living in a small house as a single parent trying to have a love life. And besides it’s not that uncommon, one person wrote:

I am the mother of a 17-month child. As we do not have a separate cot or room for him, he sleeps with us in the same bed. My husband and I generally make love after he has slept but there are times when he wakes up and stares at us strangely. Please advise if it is appropriate for us to continue like this. I am always in a dilemma and it is affecting my relationship with my husband. I am not as comfortable making love any more as I fear that this might negatively impact my child’s psychology ~ SOURCE

While doing some research for this blog I found that, many Western parenting experts and websites state that having sex with a baby in the room is not an issue at all. “Don’t worry about having sex while the baby is in the same room. She won’t have a clue what’s going on,” many of them say confidently. So why is this such an issue for some women to accept that some people have sex in front of sleeping babies? Do you think you’re parents never had sex in front of you when you were a small child? Do you think these subconscious memories can lead to a deep-rooted fear/anger/disgust with one or the other parent? Let’s talk about it.

Dear Lindsay Lohan,

Hey Lindsay, it’s been a while since my last letter, but that because I’ve been running around and working like a mad man. Anyway I wanted to ask you, How would you feel if your child was ugly? I know that might be a bit shallow, but I don’t want any ugly kids. I’m not going to front, i might not be able to love that child like I love my other kids. I’m sure you’ve seen your fair share of ugly children with your work w/ Disney. You can’t really tell a parent their kid is ugly, but in the back of your mind… Aren’t you like, damn this kid better be smart or rich because it looks like something I seen that weird guy eat on the Discovery Channel. Lock this creature up and throw away the key.

You see, I want a son bad, but I don’t want my son to be ugly. He’ll never get laid if he’s ugly unless he is willing to pay for it, or has a lot of money. Ugly people get mistreated, misuse and abused. I know what I’m saying is a bit harsh, but c’mon doesn’t everyone like talking about ugly kids? How many times have you laughed at someone talking about a baby w/ a lopsided head or an unusually big nose? Many, but we play it off by saying that’s not funny, while wiping tears out of our eyes because we know it’s true.

A while back my home boy took home this chick w/ a phatty, but her face look like she was in a MMA match w/ a jack hammer. Long story short, he wrote that off as an easy drunk lay, that is of course until the condom popped and he got a call saying she was knocked up. He went through the motions, but she was very adamant in keeping the baby. He wanted to resort to plan B, and push the monster down the stairs, but finally he gave in and now I clown him about his kid all the time. The boy looks like Flavor Flav’s pinky toe.

I mean looking at the bigger picture, I can understand how men don’t want to have kids, you never know how this child is going to turn out. What if the baby is not only ugly, but stupid too. Nothing is worst than a ugly child and a stupid child at that. I’ve heard of stories where men have came up with wild excuses to get out of having a child. It’s not always about ducking the responsibility of being a parent sometimes it’s for a lot simpler reasons than not wanting to pay child support.

Sometimes it’s just that he doesn’t want to be bothered with the chick, other times is because her family is chronically screwed up. A person’s genes are very important and many times a banging body can make us look pass that. Anyway I won’t keep you Lindsay I know you’re very busy.

Have you ever cracked jokes on ugly kids, do you fear you’ll have ugly children and if you did what would you do? Until next time.

YOUR PARTICIPATION IS REQUIRED

Signed Your Biggest Fan Of Color

Xilla The Sexual Intellectual

Written by Marvelous Mo for BlogXilla.com

Editor’s Note: I would like to introduce you to the latest addition to BlogXilla.com her name is Marvelous Mo. I hired her to bring the realness that is often left out of conversations about love, life, sex and almost everything else. I hope you enjoy her piece on Baby Mama’s ~ Xilla

I love my father. If he weren’t in my life, I’d have Daddy issues and you would find me Tip Drillin’ in a video somewhere fondling some chick’s breast, pause.

My brother wasn’t so lucky. He’s not the man he’d thought he’d be since he wasn’t raised by a male figure. Due to the generation gap, it’s as if we were raised by two different women: he had the younger mom and I had the old head mom. Just recently, he found out that his father worked somewhere in Harlem when he was 18 years old. This means my 40 year old brother had ample opportunities to meet the man that created him and possibly ask him why he decided to chuck the duces. Most adults would love the opportunity to do such a thing and for whatever personal reasons, my brother was broken hearted over the ordeal.

You’d think with being raised by both parents, substantially older than yours, that I’m out the clear as well. Seems like there was a little secret surrounding me all of my life. When I was 15 or 16 I found out that the man who raised me, paid my school tuition, put cloths on my back, food on my table and showed me that men weren’t full of shit wasn’t my biological father. Apparently EVERYBODY knew but me. So, here are two adults of different ages raised by the same woman asking the same questions: Why didn’t my father want to be there? How the hell could this happen more than once! We’re both giving mom the side eye, naturally.

Continue Reading >>>>

Just as it’s getting good, just as the a$$ smacking and hair pulling has reached its exciting peak, the kids walk in while backs are getting broken like twigs. Suddenly, Nay-Nay & Lil Man are scared of telephone poles and see visions of mommy being stabbed by a big black stick. But, what do you do when your children catch you having sex? The last thing you want is for your child to grow up scared and sexually confused because they seen mommy was blowing daddy like a Nintendo game so what do you do?

An article on MSNBC states that you should clarify things, by using words and feelings, words like:

‘This is somebody I love. This is somebody I can see as my happily-ever-after person’ put it into context so he knows it was not something done casually.” (If it was casual, this is much more problematic.) It’s important for his mother to be a parent, not a best friend, not to share too much information, but she can have an open dialogue.

Unfortunately, we live in the age of jump offs and bust it babies so you chances of someone being the happily ever after person are slim to none. You may even want to have your significant other speak to your child, but how would you feel looking at the man who stuck his 3rd leg up their mother’s a*s?

Another important thing is letting the child know that they are the most important person in your life. Because many times we tend to place our children second to things that may or may not be more important, like work, doctor appointments and first dates.

In closing the most important thing you should take from this article… buy locks for your doors.

First off lets be real with each other, there is something in the food that is making our teens look grown before they are grown. I’ve been getting a lot of comments in regard to my Lil Mama fetish but she’s legal , so lets take Teyana Taylor & R-Kelly for instance.

I’m sure we have all had the convo on whether we still support R-Kelly, well I don’t not because he slept with a young girl but because he is sleeping with young girls… it’s his thing. That’s where Teyana Taylor comes into play, the young girl is sexy, but thats where it should stop, you shouldn’t stare, you shouldn’t entertain the thought just blame the steroids they put in the food and keep it moving.

But when we state the obvious, the girl is sexy, it comes with a weird look, or thought but she is, yet we are scared to say the truth because it may be inappropriate. So what should I do lie, or hide my thoughts when something is staring me in the face? No, I won’t I’ll make my comments and I’ll try to get everyone to my stance that its okay to admire sexiness, but we have to know where to draw the line. R-Kelly would try to piss on her, which is wrong, but I’ll just think she’s going to make some man or woman happy when she finally turns legal.

Are our teens too sexy?

Last Saturday night I stopped by Greg Street’s 13th Anniversary Down South Takeover concert. While I was standing backstage I happened to see what love looks like, when Rocko walked in with Monica glowing like a neon necklace on hot summer night. As soon as Rocko was done with his set he called for everyone’s attention, and gave a special introduction to his fiance’ Monica and told the crowd how lucky he is to have someone like her. After that I caught up with Monica backstage and we had an exclusive interview to speak about maintaining a healthy relationship and parenthood, love and a few sexual intellectual questions as well Check it out

On Juggling Children & A Relationship

My babies! Having a relationship is an amazing feeling, but having children… our children are 18 weeks and 3 years old, and I think the 2 of us being together, working together and living together, just doing the things we do together sets a really good example for them, but its a work in progress everyday, b/c we are human beings. The best part about it is that the love is genuine and it goes way further than music.

On Finding Personal Time With Kids

You know what I’ve learned to make personal time. I’ve realized that what i have to do schedule wise is so important to my children so they just come first. Lil Rocko & Romelo come first.

On The Meaning of Love

My meaning of love is really never having to ask why. If you question why you feel certain things than I don’t think its necessary. If you ask me why on anything obtaining to Rocko, I’ll have an answer for you.

Overall I can tell she really loves her man, its a love you can see and feel whenever they are in each other’s presence. I honestly am happy she has found love. Be sure to catch Monica’s new album which she just finished recording so be on the lookout for that. Now if you want to know the sexual intellectual parts of the interview… peep the video below

Plies understands the politics of the music biz. Or so he says in a recent MTV interview were he speaks of being pulled off “In The Club Rmx” for Lil Wayne.

I sent two verses to them. Then I get a call from a friend of mine at a radio station that they was getting ready to go with the record, but the version they had didn’t have me on it. ” Adding “I know a lot of times [there's] so much political stuff tied into a decision.”

Honestly I think it was this album cover you see above that got him pulled off the single, it reeks of Idiot. He’s squatting in a back alley, with his boxers showing, ski mask, chucks with no socks and enough jewelry to buy the first 5 people to leave a comment on this blog a house. I believe the problem stems from birth.

On a daily basis I see a proud parent showing off their snot nose child bragging about the cute stupid phrase their child uttered this morning before they showed them the picture they drew in school of a cat spelled with a K.

I try my best not to tolerate dumbness from my daughters and my child might be a little warped because of it. Last night she informed me about how her favorite movies aren’t right because pandas don’t talk, and penguin’s don’t sing or rap. But hey it’s all for the greater good of not having numb nuts running around the world. So you can hold the thank you’s for 10 years from now.

From time to time, a celebrity will go through something that makes you relate to on an I actually went through that level. This is it, Usher, I know the feeling of being a new father, I too know what it’s like to have an ugly baby mother.

All jokes aside, when you’re a father, that child is the most important thing in the universe to you. Your life changes from being all about you, to being all about supporting that life you help bring into this world. All the drama, it’s worth it. All the heartache and stress is a small price to pay for raising a civilized member of society.

Along the road you’ll come across bumps, forks and potholes of life that will place in front of you. But you got to keep moving forward. A while back I asked a few women what went through their head when they found out they were pregnant. Shockingly to me, mostly all of them said they were upset, disappointed, and even scared.

They felt like a failure. I thought of why, maybe in my vain mind, I figured it was b/c when childhood dies, its corpses are adults and they enter society, one of the nicer names of hell. Is this why we dread children, because, they show us the state of our decay. How ugly we’ve gotten over the years.

Aristotle believed that women give more to their children because they suffer more than men do, and giving birth to the child gives them more ownership to the child. But I believe he never met a single father who looked into his child eyes and saw his own soul staring back at him wondering the question of why daddy left him, and promising himself to be the best father he could be.