Photo By: Mark Velasquez Photography

Have you ever finished having sex and wondered when the person next to you was going to leave? Well Michael sure did.

Michael sat on the edge of the bed thinking to himself, “How can I get this girl out of my house without seeming like a jerk” Michael wanted to continue to have sex w/ her, to him it was just sex, but she wanted more. He told her that he was in a relationship, she was cool with that, so he didn’t understand why every time they had sex, she never wanted to leave.  

Michael couldn’t bring himself to kick her out or ask her to leave so she laid there for a few more hours, as he phone rung off the hook. His girl was looking for him, he made the perfect excuse to free up sometime to ‘get away’ for his chick on the side. He had his cake and was eating it too. Only thing is he wished there were a little less strings attached.

His jump off finally left, he kissed her on the cheek and called his wifey like the good man he is, she explained to him that she was calling because she needed to know if he was going to be able to go to the Jay-Z concert that weekend. She didn’t want to buy tickets if he wasn’t going to be able to go. He was geeked! A few weeks later when Jigga came to town, they went to the show. She bought him an outfit and new Jordan to rock to the show. They had a great time. During the ride home she gave him some surprise oral, while he drove, and once they got to her spot, she invited him inside to finish off the job. He had her on the couch, had her for dinner, and finally ended in the bedroom.

After they were done doing things from the hottest Cinderella stories, she said “I’m so tired I can’t wait to go to sleep” He said “Daddy put it on you huh” as he got under the covers to get ready for bed. She replied, “You sure did,” kissing him on the cheek and continued with “I’ll see you tomorrow”

In the scenario above Michael wanted his jump off to leave, and he wanted to cuddle with his boo, but it doesn’t always work like that. We have to read the signs on when to leave. A lot of people don’t like their space invaded upon, while others don’t mind making breakfast in the morning. If we follow some rules we can figure out a great system on when to stay and when to leave:

• When it’s too late to leave
• When the weather is bad
• When you’re in love,
• When you’re too drunk to drive
• When you ask if you can stay
• When you’re asked to stay

When You Should Leave

• When you’re a jump off
• When you were called over after 12 and you KNOW it’s just got sex
• After you wiped off and got yours
• After the final ooohhhh & ahhhh!!

If you’re still not sure when it’s okay to leave or be asked to leave simply wait at least a half hour to an hour and a half after the sex is done. That’s enough time to not make the girl feel like a slore, and the guy to put up with his jump off outside of sex and still feel like she’s a lady.

Check out page to to see what sexual intellectuals had to say about this topic.

We all love oral sex, but what’s the best position to get it? While surfing online I came across a great tip for men, and I added a few other tips for women who might want to get better at their craft as well.

Some positions are better than others for getting easy (and precise) access to her body. Lay your lady on her back with her legs spread apart and her knees slightly bent. Lie on your stomach between her legs and place both your arms under her legs (this leaves your hands free). Sitting in the same position also works well, but you can put both your hands under her butt, holding her up and bringing her closer to you. Another good option is to have her lie back on the bed with her butt near the edge, her feet resting on the edge of the bed, and you kneel in front of her. These are not the only options, but they are good for starters.

More Tips Include:

5 Oral Techniques He’ll Love You For

3 Nice Ways To Say ‘You’re Terrible At This’ 

6 Great Ways A Beginner Can Perform Oral Like A Pro

3 Amazing Tips To Give Her Multiple Orgasms 

21 Tweets About Sucking!

Its summer time the season of bathing suits, pick up basketball games and more. Some people love summer others hate it. I don’t like sweating. I hate being hot, but if you like being hot, I have the hottest blogs from around the net for your reading enjoyment. 

The Worst Bathing Suits of the Summer 

8 Cartoons that probably have a STD

Not sure who wears the pants in this relationship but I’m sure she has a new girlfriend

Free Grey Goose isn’t always a good thing, you might end up on stage making an ass out of yourself.

She just pushed out a dead baby and now she wants to have sex. Can you help her out?

Drake doesn’t want a redo, he loves his breastfest. I mean video

She got an ass that will swallow up a g-string. 

Rihanna messes up a nice nipple slip moment. We already seen them might as well let us seem em again. 

Photo by Banks

I just want to put your ankles on your earlobes. I want to put you in so many different positions that when you fill out the paper work at for next job, you’ll put doggy style, and reverse cow girl w/ a speciality in putting your own ankles near your ears. I want to do things to you that you’ve only imagined, like having sex in a hot air balloon. I just want to have sex, and I don’t see what the big deal is.

Everyone is not meant for everybody. That’s something that my home girl Mona told me a while back. I’m not meant to be with the beautiful video vixen in everyone’s video. I’m not meant to be with the girl who works at the big investment firm, or the beautiful broke college student who spends her day texting me and sending me comforting emails throughout my day. But, does that mean that the sexual attraction we all share should go to waste? I don’t think so. I firmly believe that a sexual relationship can exist and function with out a hitch if we all understand that “I just want to put your ankles on your earlobes.”

Now just because I want to bend her up like a pretzel doesn’t mean that we cannot enjoy the finer things in life. I’m all for going to expensive restaurants, plays, concerts and even trips out of town, but we must understand my only duty is to put her ankles on her earlobes. I vote yes when it comes to making dinner for her. Honey roasted chicken, steak, broccoli and other scrumptious sides, but at the end of the night, her ankles will be on her earlobes. Hell if things are great I’ll help out with a bill, buy her a nice gift for her birthday, December 25th, and even on Valentine’s day. As long as we understand that I’m a jump off, the dude who is breaking her back on a regular basis and nothing more. As long as we protect ourself and understand what we have, I don’t see what the big deal is.

When it comes to putting her ankles next to place she hears from, I need to let y’all know there is always an option to buy. A full pledge relationship can appear out of things like this, but is it unlikely? Maybe because, everyone isn’t for everyone. This ankle to earlobe thing does not have a time limit, it can last a week, a month or even years, but that’s not important. What is important is that we got to spend time with each other and both had a memorable experience enjoying what we had.

I know there are some people out there who will say but you have to respect yourself, or how can I degrade myself to be only a jump off, and not the main course. To those people I say this, you can be steak, but everyone doesn’t like steak more than they like broccoli. Some people can enjoy the wonders of broccoli every day all day and be content with it. If you want to let your sexual attraction go to waste then so be it. I personally think a lot of the complaints or hate comes from people not wanting to order their ’steak’ like they want to order someone else’s broccoli. But hey that’s just me.

Have you ever had a sexual relationship with someone? A relationship where sex is the only reason the two of you even converse? Are you one of those people who have to be in a relationship in order to be intimate with someone?

Speak.Converse.B.Sexual Intellectuals.

Photo by M. Schultz Model: Summer Walker & Mr. Kumputer

“Hmm, how do I say this? I guess the best way to say it, is to just come out with it. I wanna f*ck you.” Not very subtle right? Well I’m sure we’ve all developed code words or phrases so we won’t have to say “hey I want you to come over so I can stick the manxilla so deep inside you, your eyeballs will start to bulge out of your skull.” So, with a little bit of help from my twitter friends I’ve come up with some clever ways to let your lover know, hey I want some, without saying hey I want some. 

“Let me check your scrotum?” The Fly Girl @TheOnlyTFG”

• I’ve actually had a woman say this to me before. She said “let me see it, make sure there are no extra bumps and bruises on it.” Then, while she was examining me like a piece of produce she put it in her mouth. So Fellas if you hear this prepared to be sucked. Hey! Her face is down there anyway right? 

“You Wanna Come Over?” Young Safe @YoungSafe

• This is one of the most infamous terms ever. I’ve noticed a lot of times women like to play dumb when they hear this phrase uttered. I’ve invited numerous women over to my apt for the soul purpose of doing to nasty this way, only to be left with blue balls and all of my Kool-Aid drank up. SMCH! Well listen here… If I ask you to come over, 9 times out of 10 it means I want you to come over and have sex with me. Yes, even if it’s my first time inviting you over. 

“Can You Massage My Back For Me Please? or You Wanna Massage” Tonda via Twitter

• When I hear a woman ask me for a massage I go from limp to rock in 2.3 seconds flat. We all know that a massage is the code word for sex. I’ve actually had women decline my massage offer because they knew it would lead to sex. Once a guy get down to the small of her back… He should just keep going lower and lower and next thing he know. He’ll be eating her from behind and swimming in her glory a few minutes later. FYI woman, learn how to massage and understand that if we request a massage its not really to help ease any tension, it mean rub on me until you ready to have sex with me. Just thought I should let you know.

Nothing like a nice load on a woman’s face to really get a guy going. She seemed to enjoy it too. Well of course in this video it was ice cold Sprite from a banned Sprite commercial in Germany and not man milk, but it leads me to the even bigger question. Why do women seem to enjoy smearing baby batter on their face?

I love when a woman allows me to spread my seed all over her chin, cheek and occasionally in her nostrils and eyeballs like jelly on a PB&J sanwich. I simply love it. Nothing beats the feeling of beating up the coochie long that she’ll bust 3 or more times and then I roll over on my back to get topped off by a nice beautiful model. I love when she puts her mouth on me and receives me in her mouth and then when I get ready to explode she turns her face to the side and smears all my gooey baby batter on her face and into her skin. That is love right there. Women seem to enjoy this act so much, I often wonder what goes through her mind while she’s doing this?

I know for me, I love smearing a woman’s wetness all over my face during those long munch sessions. It makes me feel like a champion. It’s a badge of honor to me. When I’m done I wear her on my face and beat it up, go back down and eat it up, then come back up and beat it up some more. Every now and then you get a woman who will flinch when the man juice rockets out of the manxilla, but a true sexual intellectual is willing to take it on the face no flinching allowed.

I often wonder is there a criteria about this too? I know some women will only swallow certain men, their boyfriends, long standing jumpoffs, or the guy who got them super drunk at the club. I say to all the ladies, of blogxilla.com take it on the face, wear that batter batter with pride and smile like the lovely snow bunny in this banned sprite ad after she took that chocolate meat deep in her throat. It’s a badge of honor, a seal of approval that our love is worth a little man milk on your chin, cheek or forehead. Rub it in and leave it there, fall to sleep and wake up with an extra bit of crust on your face. We’ll love you for it in the morning.

Would You Take It On The Face?

CinABun via Twitter

A woman knows if she’s going to sleep with a man from the moment she lays her eyes on him. Yet, just because she knows doesn’t mean a man can’t lose his coochie coupon to her sweet, nasty and gushy stuff. Here are reasons she will not sleep with him.

She won’t sleep with him because:

1. He sent a picture of his peen and she needed a magnify glass to see the picture that was sent.
2. He made her go dutch one too many times.
3. He called her a million times in 2 days
4. He couldn’t keep it up
5. His mother won’t allow him to use the phone after 10.
6. His bus pass doesn’t have spinners or a system.
7. His breath smells like phys ed.
8. He lets her walk all over him and she has lost all respect for him.
9. His sneaker look like he drug them through the mud.
10. He believes he can talk to her using lyrics from his favorite rap songs. He doesn’t understand that just because Drake, Lil Wayne and em can call girls bitches and hoes it doesn’t mean he can and still expect to get laid.

Fact of the matter is that a woman doesn’t need a reason to sleep with a man, there have even been women who have made quite the career off f*cking and sucking random men. But, that also mean she cannot sleep with a guy for no reason at all. It can be anything that causes the cooch to be taken away. What are some reasons you either took or had the cooch taken away?

I love sex, and if you’re on my website chances are you do too. I always feel like sex can be better. So I’m always reading up on different sex acts, watching different adult films so I can learn a thing or two. If it’s not too kinky, best believe I am going to try it, and try it until I get it right. But, what about the every day normal sex acts that we tend to take for granted in our efforts to be the best sexual intellectual in the sea.

What Works – I have yet to meet a person who doesn’t have a favorite position, sexual act or move. Do it! If it makes sex better then why try to do something you’re not yet a master of? Your end goal in sex is to reach the mountain top, so why fly if you have a car? Get it? Got it, good!

You’re F*cking Who Cares? - I get a lot of emails from women who say they don’t like their stretch marks, complain about their body, or some other negative remark. Honestly as a guy I never even noticed. We are having sex, so if your lover is offering up their body to you then 9 times out of ten the only one who cares about your imperfections are you. Get over it, it can block you from doing your job. Now, if you under perform in bed that’s when you need to be worried.

What’s Around You? - I f*cked in a lot of beds before and if I learned anything I know that sex is always better when you’re in a nice bed. Clean sheets, no clothes on the bed, no baby toys or condom rappers. Have you ever rolled over on an opened magnum wrapper? Well let me tell you it’s not dope! If you expect to get some, make sure the room is nice, neat and amazing. (I’ve learned this the hard way. I’m a man in a man’s house)

I don’t want a threesome anymore. Mainly because I don’t trust these hoes. These days you have to be more cautious of your girl’s female friends than you do her male friends. There is a new breed of female who appreciates a woman’s beauty more than she appreciates a man’s excellence. While these niggas are busy trying to get a woman’s opinion on his salmon colored shirt and how it matches his kicks. Kanye approved of course.

I’ve seen woman slobber over Tahiry’s butt, Amber’s boobs, and Rihanna’s nipple ring. Followed by a no nympho or no homo or the now infamous [II] What’s going on these days? As a man I can’t compete with the beauty of a woman, nor can I compete with the dildo of a true lipstick femme, or as I like to call them nigga-b*tches. Not to be confused with b*tch niggas. I have no problem with them, they can befriend one of my chicks anyday, but I don’t trust to studdly hoes. Hell I don’t even trust those extra pretty chicks. They are the main ones who wanna experiment. Get your curious ass away from my chick! I saw you were looking at her butt, in the club. That’s my ass, and I’m 100% sure I can out f*ck you for a good 45 minutes, but that 46th… damn you got me.

I’ve always said I learned how to eat coochie from a lesbian. A nice fine femme I used to work with, who strung me along for a good 9 months before I found out we were on the “SAME TEAM”

You girls fall for those “oh you’re so beautiful” compliments from chicks and next thing you know you’re letting this extra cute girl feel on your boobs while I sit there smiling because I’m thinking about the threesome, while this extra cute nigga-b*tch is about to take my girl with a hurricane tongue that could have brought Dorothy, Ashanti and Diana Ross to Oz and back in 2 minutes flat. Damn nigga-b*tches. NO HOMO, but you have no idea what it’s like to look at a person dressed like a boy that’s so cute you find yourself staring trying to figure out if that’s a guy or a girl. You analyze them like, eye brows arched, eye liner and a fitted cap, and the only way you know its a girl because you notice the damn rainbow accessories she has on. But people from a far just think this nigga staring at another nigga! PAUSE!!! That’s a girl!! Damn it. A girl who will take my chick if I let her, but it’s not going to happen.

One of my exes told me she got a girlfriend now. How the hell did this happen, you might ask. It happened because I tried to talk her best friend into having a threesome with us, and they decided to partake of the festivities without me. You can’t do that it’s against the rules. It’s one of those unwritten rules like how y’all won’t talk to a dude who has looked at your friend like he wanted to smash, or said hi to your friend and she runs and tell you that nigga tried to holla at me. No I didn’t I just said hi, now I can’t holla at the chick I wanted to holla at because I was being nice. I swear y’all ladies got some weird ways.

And how does your coochie just end up in another chicks mouth? Riddle me this pretty young thing? All I’m saying is watch these chicks, they will smile in your face one day and have your coochie or your chicks cooch in their mouth the next. Remember what Marvelous Mo said about the saga of a straight chick, well there is another saga of trying to keep your chick straight.

I was on the phone setting up a ride home while I was waiting at the MARTA station. Shorty wasn’t my girl, but she did take care of me. Looking back that might of been the reason why I dealt with her because honestly she wasn’t that cute. I mean she wasn’t ugly but she wasn’t “THE BOMB!” I could of done better, and in the back of my mind I thought all she’d be a Cinderella who never had a chance at the title. That’s when I saw her, Better. I quickly hung up the phone with the chick I was passing time with, and made small talk with Better. She was from Delaware visiting Atlanta for the weekend, one she would never forget.

I asked her how did she feel to be from the home of the guy who could be our next vice president. She looked at me like I was stupid until I explained to her that Obama picked Biden for his VP. She smiled, and began to accept my small talk. During the ride back, we realized we were going to the same station, we exchanged numbers and made plans to hook up later that night. I didn’t take it seriously though, I figured it would be another boring night with the chick who was just keeping a better woman’s spot by my side. Until I got a text message. I check it, smiled when the pass time girl asked me who text me. I brushed her off. “You are not my girl” I thought. I was in her car, getting a ride from her and I’m making plans to hook up with another woman. So wrong.

It was no wonder I wasn’t in a relationship, but she knew that at the time I didn’t want to be tied down. I was enjoying myself nor was I in any situation to take care of a girlfriend like I wanted. Anyway, I told her to drop me off at my house, she wanted to hang out that night, but I was leaving my options open for the better chick.

Later that night I got the call from Better, she wanted to hang and she asked me if I had a friend. I only had a room mate, and lucky for me he wanted to hang. We went out for a bite to eat and ended back at our apartment where there was a gang load of alcohol and board games. We played for shots and before we knew it we were all drunk out of our minds. I made the move for some first date sex and it worked.