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What Would You Do: The Lie Slip
Posted in Relationships on 08. Dec, 2008
I got a message from one of my loyal readers and he posed a question, Since I discussed this topic on my weekly podcast The Bleach Johnson Show, which airs every Wednesday night at 10pm est I thought this would be a great topic for the What Would You Series. In his words he states:
I had a party the other night and one of my favorite non sexual lady friends was there. Her man came later. Me and a couple of my friends were in the kitchen eating when he came in. He walked to us, gave pounds all around, then joined the conversation. I asked him if he had seen the fight and he says “I didn’t see it, (Blank) thought I was there, but I was somewhere else. I had to call one of the homies to get the info so that when she asked me later, I would know what happened.”
If this was your friend and you found out their boo was cheating what would you do? Now granted, we don’t know if the boo was out getting all sweaty with another person, but if it sure does sound like their is something to hide. As my homie who sent the message said you need to be careful who you tell your business to because someone else was trying to holla and this could be an easy way for this person to get into a relationship with the friend.
Anyway what would you do if you were in this position would you tell your friend their boo might be cheating or what?
FIRST and I've been in that position before….all you have to do is make him lie when she knows the real truth…problem solved
I think it just really depends. Not everyone is happy to hear that their man was out “playing”. If my loyalty was to the lady friend, if we were tight like that, I'd spill the beans. Gently of course. Make sure that when you spill the beans you're not trying to get in her jeans. They would cancel one another out and you'd lose your friend and any other chances u may have had. I'd just tell her and not try to convince her of any actions to take. Just kinda of an FYI.
Clap Clap good for you CB I didn't think it was a race. Anyways…. yes, I rolled my eyes. It depends on my history with my friend. If they are known to shoot the messenger I'm going to button my mouth shut. Cause those people don't ever hear what you have to say because they are dic*mitzed and pussy whipped. However if its a good friend of mine I'm going to ask what type relationship they have. (Hell it could be an open one) Then based on that I'm going to tell them to what their boy/girl told me. And usually the friend already has doubts and suspension they just want to confirm them.
I have to agree ppl sometime tend to get mad when you tell. So that's a touchy subject. . .Plus my moms always told me believe none of what you hear, half of what you see. Trust no one info but your own. So that would be an at your own risk kinda thing. . . .But as a friend I would feel the need to let her know to keep her eyes open.
I no that I've told and been told b4. Ppl tend 2 get mad @ the wrong person. I also know that I have a friend that gets cheated on ALL the time and ppl tell her including those girls her man is cheating with. SHE DOES NOTHING!!!! This pisses u off & u have no choice but to think some ppl KNOW and DONT care. So telling is sometimes u getting it off of ur chest and it's not always any help 2 the actual person.
How would you go about doing that? Just curious
so women don't like snitches… do you think there is a good way for a guy who wants to get in the panties to let you know your man ain't Ish?
sounds like your mother is a very smart lady!!
I don't understand why people shoot the messenger that ish right there pisses me off. Like for real it doesn't even have to a cheating situation its just they be all mad when you school them to game they want to take it out on you…
my bad i had to vent for a minute. lol
LOL…. Xilla some ppl are triflin and that is why they shoot the messenger. They think all the ppl trying to help them are the ones trying to hurt them. That is why I usually dismiss these people when this behavior manifests. I find them to be immature and selfish…
They already no that their man aint ish. Most women will b the 1st 2 figure that out, They just don't want to admit it other ppl. I'm a women and if u really wanted me 2 c that my man wasn't worth my time and you wanted me-4 real not just 2 sniff the panties. Be everything he's not. No gifts or anything. Convince me with kindness. I'll be taking notes and pretty soon I'll b able to compare him to u.(and c there's no comparison) Then once I'm reeled in go cheater-style. Give me some evidence. Show me the proof or allow me 2 catch him in the act. OR if u only want some sex…..just tell come out with the truth point blank. Maybe u'll get some rebound sex. ??
Only if it involves me directly.
For example. A close female friend of mine gave her bf my number b/c we were trying to do business 2gether. One night he called to discuss business and after we finished, he asked me if I wanted to hang out. At first I thought he was trying to set up a double date or something but then he said, he wanted me and that he'll pay for a cab if I come to his house.
I shut him down hard. B4 I could call her, she was calling me to vent about issues she was having w/ him. So I told her wht he said and she was upset, but she immediately cut all ties off w/ him completely.
Other than tht I try to mind my business b/c u can bring a horse to water but u can't make it drink.
I'm surprised she didn't flip out on u. Chicks r good for that. How do men act when their boy tells them that their GF is cheating? I wonder if they act like females do?
She was my best friend (still is) so I knew she wouldn't have flipped.
I had a convo like tht w/ some of my guy friends and they said that if they find out tht their homeboy gf is cheating then he's gonna tell him. And if he does nothing about it then he's gonna try to sleep w/ her too. (go figure)
NO SNITCHIN! sure i may plead for people outside of chicago to tell the CPD that the real murdereor of Jhuds family is still out there, but locally i keeps my mouf shut. if someone's cheating, its not hard to really notice the signs. women like to ignore them.
i got sucked into a snitching scenario recently, and things went WAY LEFF! my girls newboo tried to holla at me AND her friend from ATL. i said lets not say anythingsince she's soooo smitten. ATLShawty disagreed and when she told my former Ace, she didn't believe her! This Spellmanite assumed we were tryin to come at him because he “was a bawla and knows how to treat a woman”. this same clown wouldn't get her a $5 bag o' goose's. MMM MM! to this day we're not friend, she's knocked up by dude, and he's of course treatin her like she ain' ish!
as careless as men are when it comes to cheating, women are just as retarded re: shaping their ideal reality instead o' peepin the TRUF! NO SNITCHIN'!~
u betta SAY DAT BWOY! my girl totally shot her messenger and me for bein in the car with the messenger. thing is dude she was protectin knocked her up and left her! mm mmmmm! dayum shame, now she's the idiot of the cosby kid crew, -2loyal friends, &a gross embarassment on her parents. FOR WHAT?!!?
i've yet to be wrong, when i assume my guy is tippin i just cut it off. can tell because they get all explainy and wanna know why i'm mia or how they heard i've been on the scene with someone else. i cooly anwer “you know why i'm dating someone else please respect my wishes and refrain from contactin me”………. DONE!
chick knows what kinda man she's dealing with…i mean lets be real men aren't That good at creepin….im sure this aint the first time he was supposed to be one place and ended up somewhere else….most females don't want no one else coming tellin them about thier man…not because they dont believe but because they are in denial….
Mens lives can be so carefree compared to ladies. I have had very few female friends that were close to me. I much prefer the company of a man. Less stress! Women bring drama. I even look @ the workplace. We are all grown and in this economy we all need r jobs…still drama. I tell my daughter that 2 girls can like the same man and they spread rumors, talk shit, hate the girl and all that other bull. 2 guys like the same chick and they have fun competing and taking/comparing notes. U have an exception to all rules, but n a lot of ways I rather enjoy the male's point of view on some topics.
nope.. i wouldnt say a word! i try to stay out of other people's relationships. Their business is their business. what type of dude would i be to run my mouth to someone else's significant other? a BUSTER thats what..
In a situation like this, I think I would have to let dude know that it may have been inappropriate to say something like this in front of me about my friend. Especially if we're talking about someone I have known for a while. I am a very loyal friend and I stand up for and protect them whenever possible so if someone said something like that around me, I would feel that I should do something about it. I would hesitate to tell the friend because 1) I wouldn't want to be the person telling her that her man was tipping and 2) Like a few others said, she probably already knows the business and is for whatever reason ignoring it. At any rate, who the hell am I to break her windows. I think coming to him man to man and letting him know that he should have more respect for his relationship and also to watch what he says around people about their friends.
It does depends on the situation. If she was my bestfriend I would tell her. If she is an associate I would stay out of it. Like you said your not sure he is cheating, but by the statement he said it sure seems that way. If he was my bestfriends man I would more likely know his tendencies so if I drew my own conclusion chances are I would be right.
Yep women are good for that shit. Most of the time they think you want their man so your telling her so she can break up with him. She is a good friend.
She is
@ ANuJS. . .I have a friend like that she will get highly pissed and seperate from you all over her no good nbf. . .Sometimes its not worht having someone to hold you
I have always been inclined to keep my mouth shut and mind my business but I've been in this situation at different times with different friends and have had three different extremes happen…the worst of which was not telling what I knew just to have my friend later find out that I knew (via the husband that cheated on her in the first place), she was extremely hurt that I didn't tell her and I ended up apologizing and trying to explain why I didn't say anything
so now what I do is have boundary conversations with friends, “what if I saw your man cheating, would you want me to tell you?” whatever her answer is, that is what I do…
Y would he say sum dumb ish like that in the first place around her friends? Maybe he wants to be told on. Maybe it really was nothing. He didn't come out and say he was with someone. If she brings up that night, I would just be like “girl he said he wasnt even at the game he told his homeboy to tell him what happened” like it was no big deal. Then she can come to her own conclusion.
In general idk what I would do, but I want to be told. I aint no silly broad that's gon be like girl u lyin u just want my man. I would be more hurt when I found out later and my friend knew the whole damn time and let me waste my time wit ol boy lookin like a fool!
If it is a good friend I am in favor of dropping hints that you know something they dont. Again usually the chick will get pissed off and think you are trying to smash (been there before), so I go with the hints. Hopefully they will find it out. But any dude trying to smash shouldn't take this approach because the chick usually gets more pissed at the messanger than the cheating man
yes i would…cause it's not fair for anyone and especially my friend to get hurt by assholes lol
Would you want her to tell you, your boo was cheating? What ever your answer is, is what you should do.
See… That's a tricky question. First, it depends on how close you are to the friend who is being cheated on. If y'all are close, then he/she knows that you would never lie to them. If not, they can believe that you're just jealous. Secondly, make damn sure that their boo is cheating.