It is on and popping. Tonight in New York City I will be having one of the best parties of the year. My man DJ Genius will be spinning the hottest tunes, The lovely ladies of the Digital Glam Squad will be in the house giving out free shots of Patron, and Patron and Pineapple gang will be in the house getting toasted and your boy Xilla will be on a few tables dancing and clowning around. So if you’re free tonight come through and party w/ me for my first ever birthday party. Oh yeah it’s free to get in just RSVP to @ DigitalGlamSquad@Gmail.com

@Bowwow614 is not with a tranny as MTO would want you to believe. He is just a small guy. PAUSE! What is he like 5 ft even? No shots. But C’mon there is nothing wrong w/ Bow Wow wanting to be the next Ray-J or Paris Hilton. He has to do something to stay relevant and he has to put that pole in his basement to good use. So I’m not mad at him. Next time show more of the girl so we know she’s a girl… PAUSE.

There are certain places where  the women are looser than @karine aka Superhead surrounded by a million platinum rappers. (No Shots) Here is a list of the ten easiest places to get laid in hip hop. 

Freaknik Circa 1990 – Atlanta, GA home of the freaknik. That might have been the best thing ever created. While I never got to experience the freaknik, I’ve heard stories of women giving head in the middle of Peachtree st and more. Now that I think about it, Atlanta is still the easiest place to get laid in the world.

Snoop Dogg’s tour bus – if you seen the video for Aint Nuthin But A G Thang then you know snoop knows how to get it in. Beer bottles, weed and big boobed women playing vollyball. It doesn’t get much better than that if you can’t get laid rolling with a guy who keeps more weed than an Amsterdam coffee shop and rolls with a pimp then you don’t need to have sex ever again.

Flavor Flav’s House – I think I’ve counted 5 sex tapes from the women of flavor of love. These freaky women are down for whatever. You don’t believe me? Well didn’t flav tongue them all down within the first ten minutes of the first show? Case closed.

At A Lil Wayne Concert – I’ve said it yesterday and I’ll say it again… Those young money niggas get a lot of ass. Wayne has so much swagger that he got wheel chair Jimmy smashing chicks left and right. These one of those double cupped, high women that you’re down with young money and you’ll be swimming in coochie in no time.

Black Planet – If we were astronauts of the internet and we blast’d off to the Black Planet. We would land to find out that the girls there are easier than Glass Joe on Mike Tyson’s punch out. You can hit at the press of a button. Send.

An Abortion Clinic – As bad as this might sound, I would have to say that I agree with @T3pps. The abortion clinic would be a great place to get laid, because you know the chicks there are already having sex. Well at least some of them. Habitual offenders that is.

Frat Parties With Asher Roth - He loves College for a reason and I love it too, college girls are the best type of girls to sleep with, old enough to know how, and young enough to learn new tricks.

Ray-J’s Bedroom – Lil Kim, Whitney Houston, Danger, Kim Kardashian and every girl in the world… Need I say more.

Memorial Day Weekend In Miami – Drunk Celebrities, Groupies in Bikini’s and good weather.

The 1970’s - Blaxploitation flicks are the home of lands of pimps and hustlers. It just seems like it was really easy to get laid back then. The era of pimps, coke, hippies and woodstock. The ultimate time for sex, sex and more sex.  Marvin Gaye getting panties thrown on stage, Bobby Womack and any other old school crooner. They don’t call it Pussy Galore for nothing.

While I was in Atlanta I had a quick photoshoot with Photographer Franchon Hurt. Check out a few of the flicks. FYI I’m still extremely busy and I’m trying to dedicate some time to the site, but I’ve got a little more running around to do. So please be patient with me, while I handle this business and I’ll be back with the hotness for sure. New Cinderella story coming soon.

Xilla

Welcome to the second installment of Xilla on The Streets. This time I used the topic that had all of you talking, Side Chicks!!! Also Stay tuned to the end of the video I added a little bonus footage I had laying around.

“Whatever limits us, we call Fate” Well, my fate is to be with her, and I’m not with her, so this is not my fate. The night I shared with this woman was the most wonderful one in my recent memory. Hell I can remember back to the Christmas morning when Santa brought me the entire toy collection of thundercats including the Castle of Thundera, and Mumra’s castle. Knowing her has been the best gift ever.

Yet, how do you know when you’ve found the one? Is it that electric charge that runs through you veins whenever you get a phone call or a text message from her? Is it the way your heart drops when she walks up to the block and into your waiting arms greeting you with a hug before the two of you go to the movies to watch a love story. Maybe it’s just the beauty and the glow of her skin you captured when you took her picture on your camera phone. It could be a million things but how do you really know if the feeling is geniune or just an emotional whim.

It was Shakesphere who said “The course of true love never did run smooth.” Nothing worth accomplishing ever is, my blog for instance and my road to new media success has been a bumpy one, last year I’ve was locked up, homeless, heartbroken, loss a father, put out on the streets 3 more times and never missed a day without providing a blog, because writing is something that I love to do, and true love is inexhaustible.

I wonder how do you know it’s true love, if in the book of life there are no answers in the back. If your own life is the reason the one you feel so strongly for can’t bring her self to be with you, how do you know? The battle of life leads you to settle, for someone who only makes you some what happy. Not to say that this other person is not a great, but she just doesn’t send that electric charge through your spine like your this one does. Maybe the answers can be found in the past. All the way back to 1st century BC when a Roman author wrote “It is not every question which deserves an answer.”

Xilla is Jamal Malik aka SlumBlog Xillionaire

How do you know when you’ve found the one?

I mean do I really have to type anything about this shirt? I really want this shirt, someone needs to get this for me. This one comes from the folks over at Regal Clothing, 100% cotton and pretty much self explanitory.

The Suck Me Tee

• Price: $15.00
• Where to get it from: Regal Clothing

Let’s just say you’re minding your own business in your own house. You could be washing dishes, reading a book, surfing the web, or just plain ole watching TV and then your child comes to you, their left arm shaking like crazy trying to control the powerful vibrations coming from the toy in their hand. The look of shock invades your face, as you realize your child just found your toy box.

I was strolling through my parents room, looking for some change to go down to Hollywood chicken to get myself a triple decker cheese burger so as I was looking for the change stash I found something even better. My step father’s collection of porn. All summer I was in heaven, going in and out of their room to pull different collections of smut. There were white chicks, black chicks, threesomes, orgies, and they were all doing some things I still haven’t found a name for today. Maybe this was the reason I would walk into the corner store whenever I had a few extra bucks in my pocket to purchase my own smut and build my collection to 4 Nike shoe boxes full of pure unadulterated SMUT!

One day while I was in the house by myself, I needed a release so I went into my box, pulled out a tape, Black Nurses 4 to be exact. I popped it in the VCR and fast forwarded to my favorite scene of this caramel brown hottie w/ boobs the size of Watermelons on a summer day and lips that rivaled Angelina Jolie’s. I was hard as a rock, I pulled out and worked out my tool like it’s name was Arnold SwarzenNegro the Anaconda. A lot of people don’t understand the ManXilla is a muscle and it needs to be worked out sometimes. After I was done, I cleaned up, threw my balled up napkin in the trash and left the house, for a bike ride to the next town over to find a real girl so I could cheat on “Palmela”.

Upon my return, my mother and sister was sitting in the living room. My sister in her 4ft 10 frame said o0o0o you’re in trouble. My mother proceed to pull something out of her lap. Yep you guest it, my VHS tape, Black Nurses 4. I was so embarrassed. My heart dropped as my mother cursed me out and my sister explained that I actually left it playing in the VCR, and how lucky I was that she was the first person upstairs b/c what if her kids would have seen it…

My mother took my tape and told me to go to my room and that she would trash my porn tape. Needless to say My favorite porn was gone for about a week until one day I come home to find it neatly sitting on the pillow of my bed. I guess they just wanted to watch it, or respected my taste in smut. I was back in the living room stroking first free chance I had!

Have you ever found your parents Porn/Toy stash? Or has anybody ever Found your stash of goodies? You know the Videos, or the Toys?

Here is your chance to dedicate another song to your boo. Keyshia Cole does her thing on this one, and even though I stan for Wayne I like this one much with Nas way better than her song with Weezy.

Keyshia Cole feat Nas – Oh Oh Yeah Yeah <–Listen + Download]

props to ICE

Why are people still doing tag blogs? I got tagged over the weekend, by rants of a wild childso instead of boring y’all with random facts about Xilla, which I did already did I decided to share a random story with you all. Check it out and laugh away.