Saw V was a good movie but this one right here is one that I am just too scared to even watch the previews. Please go out to the polls and vote on Tuesday. So in an effort to boost excitement about this year’s election. Fill in the blank

If Obama Wins You’re Going To ____

It’s been about 8 years since one of the funniest marketing campaigns ever. The Bud Wasssuppp!! Commercials. Well they’re back eight years later and well things aren’t going too well for them. Check em out.

It’s happened to all of us before, maybe just one time, or maybe every time we go to the club, the drunk person. Breath smelling like hot garbage freshly dropped from the as* tunnel of hybrid version Macy Gray and T-Pain. Loud jumbled non-sense spewing from their trap and no clue of what the word no means. They always want to do something that starts with the letter F, from Fight, F*ck or Fly. But how does one deal with the drunk person? Here are a few tips to keep you entertained instead of annoyed.

1. Make Stuff Up – One thing I like to do when I encounter a drunk girl is talk real slow and say the same thing over and over again, but make sure that the same thing you keep saying is a totally unrealistically LIE. I once told this drunk girl with yellow teeth that I was The Vice President of The Lifestyle Condom Company in New Jersey and I was here on business. Told her I wrote 7 best selling books for the New York Times on how to roll and dispose a condom properly. She ate it up big time, like a fat kid at a Buffet. She wanted to give me her number bad so I gave her a random card in my wallet told her to write her number on the back, and then handed her the same card as my card.

2. Ask Them Stuff – Not even an episode of Dave Chappelle is as funny as interviewing a drunk person but here is the key, you have to ask them the most outlandish questions on the face of the earth like “If you were a Chicken with Super Powers what would you use for transportation since chickens don’t fly”

3. Sleep With Them - The look on their face when they wake up with a hangover, and no idea of who you are… Priceless. No I’m just joking, never sleep with a drunk person b/c you might end up in a semi 2 girls 1 cup situation if you know what I mean. Nothing is worst than getting thrown up on.

How Do you Handle The Drunk Person?

It was disgusting, but thankfully I was pulling into my apt complex when the bird got the urge. so I didn’t have to sit w/ a wet shirt for no more than 2 minutes before I got out of it and threw away my brand new Bruce Lee graphic tee.

Now today, while retrieving something from my car I saw a bird fly over my head, out of habit I looked up at him, mainly b/c most people can’t go, number 2, when someone is looking at them. I realized that I now have a fear of getting s*itted on. As, I stood there relieved that I didn’t get a eyeball full of bird poop, I thought of how great it would be to be able to go number 2 on the move. Yea I know it’s disgusting, but think of all the time you would save. I think we got the short end of the stick in the travel department. I mean think about it, Cheetahs run faster than anything in the world, yea we have cars but w/ gas prices higher than Whitney & Bobby after make up sex eh!!

Why must we pay for our need for speed? But out of all the animals in the world, Birds have it best, for one they can fly, for 2 they can fly fast, and for 3 they can fly and take a crap at the same time. Imagine if we had that ability, we could add an hour to our day, just coming back from lunch, McDonald’s isn’t agreeing w/ you, well no need to be late you can just crap right on your way to back to work. Charmin could make Wipe and Go’s the new phenomenon in toiletries. I mean what made birds to special? Dogs have to stop to crap, tiger’s, monkey’s not only stop but they fling theirs,

hell Fish even swim funnier when they have that long string of poop hanging from their tail fins, but Birds have a monopoly on the Moving Manure Maneuver. So Now I think I understand part of my favorite movie in the world, she didn’t get Mark Foleyed she just had to go Poo!!!

Now that I think of it… My b*tch is cheating on me. I might have to fight to get her back! Have you been sleeping with my girl?

I have a few things to do today So I’ll be out running around. So I haven’t really had the time to sit down and write anything and for that I apologize but here is your chance to get to know me. Ask me anything… ANYTHING and I’ll answer it as truthfully as I can.

I was surfing youtube for clips for one of my jobs, Co-Host of Say What Now with BlogXilla & Classydeeva,which airs at 6pm on Sunday,when I came across this clip. I thought I should share it.

Alexyss K Tylor joined The Classy Deeva and myself on Say What Now a weekly podcast show. This week we discussed Jump-Offs and whoa!! The show was off the hook. Alexyss broke it down about how only she can in that I just got out of jail, but I used to be a freak sort of way. 10$ words and curse words turn me on. Check it out under the cut.

I have no words… But one thing I do know, is you don’t eat a fat girls cheeseburger.