Here is another throwback from the vault of BlogXilla – Please remember these articles are written to spark debate and discussion.

The independent woman in today’s urban world needs to be celebrated and awarded on a daily basis. Yet their independence does not make them perfect, one of the main complaints is they can’t find a man, a good one at that. So here are 10 Good Reasons Why the Independent Woman is Single in Urban America.

Disclaimer – These reasons do not apply to all Independent females, but some. It was posted for open debate.

You Fault Your Salary – No one likes to hear how much better than them you are. Constantly telling him how much more you make than him is not something a man wants to deal with, a man needs to feel superior, and as much as we love pimps and players no good man wants to be a women’s Ken doll.

You Think You’re Too Good To Go Down – Something about status and a title makes females think they no longer have to do the nasty things men love. Lighten up. It’s this fact alone which will have even the best man creeping to your best friend with no job and 5 kids.

Can No Man Do Anything For Me – Whether you’re rolling in the financial dough or not men like to be the providers. And if you don’t allow your man to do things for you, and at least act like he wears the pants in the relationship you’ll never be able to keep one.

She Cares About Her Career More Than Him – Too much over time leave the penis under attended to and it will stray. This kicks in the “Other” brain. We all know men have two heads.

You’re Not My Daddy – Honestly we don’t want to be your daddy either unless it’s in the bedroom when you have your ankles on your earlobes and screaming like banshee. Men don’t like to hear complaining. We’ll work and do the best we can to provide and if you make more than us we don’t need to hear about it all day and all night.

There Is A Stick In Her Ass - Money tends to change people, so when she used to like General Tao’s Chicken from the local Chinese spot she now likes Sushi and Lobster tails. Nothing is wrong w/ ordering take out ever now and then from the Chinese restaurant with the bullet proof glass, standard plates of food on the walls and giant picture of the Great Wall of China.

She Cheap Like A… Well I won’t say it but it rhymes with YOU. She won’t let you buy the new pair of custom made Kanye Kicks but she drops a rent check on the new Loubintons.

She’s Not Giving It Up – Chances are she’s so focused on her career that hooking up for a date is damn near impossible and let alone sex. Sometime we just want to do the do and if we got to show up at your office in some tennis shoes and a belt we will be there dangling in the wind.

Too Many Demands – She has too many demands on what she is looking for in a man. He has to drive something better than her, he has to make more money than her, he has to have soft hair and a nose that not wider than his lips. Love doesn’t love anybody and it’s blind as hell. Sometimes you can find love in the most unlikely places.

She’s Spoiled – Her parents did everything for her, and now you damn near have to sleep w/ her mother in order to seal the relationship.

Uncle Xilla can you tell us a story? why sure jump under the hood.

“There he go right there!” The black SUV pulled up slowly, lights off, gunshots fired, Raheem fell to the ground like a brick out of hell. Tires screeched, as Rock pulled the still lit joint out of the ashtray inhaled and blasted Ready To Die by the Notorious B.I.G. He has just killed a man, and it was easier than he thought it would be. He knew he wanted revenge on Raheem for fucking his baby mother but he didn’t think it would feel this good to see his flesh ripped open from bullets, to see his skull leaking cherry kool-aid colored substance all over the ground.

“Yo, Let me out right here” He dapped his boy and got out of the vehicle, visions of the body dropping to the floor replayed over and over in his mind. It replaced the visions of his baby mother deepthroating the reggae singer which too haunted him ever since he read it in her journal, and found the condom in the trash months ago. Sure they stayed together what was he suppose to do, she apologize a million times, did everything she stop doing before she started messing around w/ the semi-celebrity. He let it slide but it was only apart of his plan.

He walked into the store bought a bag of Sour cream and Cheddar chips, a Snapple apple and some horny goat weed as walked the rest of the way home. When he got in the door, he heard Ne-yo coming from the bathroom’s closed door, no need to knock, he walked right inside only to see his baby mother doing herself w/ an 8 inch dildo his dick got brick hard within a millisecond.

“Thinking about me huh” he said

“I knew you would be home soon and I wanted to warm up for you” She said. She was 5-5 and had an ass like Ki-Toy, Chest people paid for, and a face that would put Stacy Dash to shame. Roc ripped off his clothes eager to give her the fucking of her life. His sculpted chest tight abs and Hulk Hogan arms grabbed the back of her head as he guided her head to his dick. She shook his hand off her head Grabbed his cock w/ her right hand licked the shaft rotated her tongue over the head of his dick and deep throated him using her hand to give him more pleasure. His head dropped back as he let out a chorus of ohhh’s and ahhh’s he fucked her face, she spoke barely audible demands w/ a mouthful dick in her mouth begging him to let her taste him. He Reached behind and grabbed the towel and threw it at her “dry off met me in the bedroom when your done” he said coldly, she thought it was all apart of the game as he walked out of the bathroom ass naked.

When she got in the bedroom he was laying on the bed watching a tape of them having sex that they made just night’s before with another woman, since she got caught she pretty much was willing to try anything he suggested to keep him around. He was pleasuring himself, stroking his dick waiting for her to enter. She walks over and enjoys the show… She never ate a pussy before until a couple of nights ago but she did it for him, she remembered watching him fuck this other woman as she taped it then he took the camera from her placed it on the counter forcefully entered her from behind as he pushed her face into the other woman’s vagina. She didn’t think she would like it that much but she loved it…

“Lay down I got a surprise for you” Roc said breaking her out of her trance. He massaged her back w/ some of the sweetest smelling lotion she had, kissed her gently and proceeded to make love to her not just fuck her like they been doing since the incident. She loved it hadn’t had him take it easy on her in months and did her pussy need it, he kissed her neck, kissed down the small of her back as he massaged her stopped at the crack of her ass…ran his tongue over her coochie from behind, parted her lips w/ his tongue, inserted his finger inside of her, he sucked and licked. Then he rubbed the head of his dick along her pussy, she was wet for him she wanted him. He visioned the body falling to the floor. He slided inside slow and soft and the horror replayed in his mind, he got harder!!! her pussy was warm she used her muscles she threw it back at him whirling and twirling that big ole booty as he did his thing. They had sex all night until they passed out from a night of love making….

To be continued….

Joell Ortiz – Ups And Downs

Speaking of Chinese Food… Let me tell you a story

A few nights ago while sitting in the house talking on the phone with my friend the sudden urge for some chinese food came over me. I mean I just felt the need to have shrimp fried rice deep in my soul. Of course I made them throw in some of those china fried chicken wings. I smch every time i order it though b/c in the south they refuse to put hot sauce and ketchup on the wings. But I order from the spot that’s right around the corner from my apartment, a simple 10 minutes walk, 2 minute drive and an hour later my food arrives. I pay the chinese delivery guy and look him dead in the eye as he fumbles around his pocket looking for my change, you know that maneuver they use so you get frustrated and say keep the change for the tip. whatever gimme my dollars and my coins Daniel sun!! Jersey WHAT!!! lol

After count my change check the receipt I go inside and open up the bag, you know that uniformed delivery bag all chinese spots use, you know plastic smiley face bag, brown paper bag inside, piece of card board separating the orders. Yep they followed the Chinese restaurant in the hood code to a tee. So I pull out my food grab the plate that’s been waiting on the table for an hour and some change for those piping hot now a bit warmer then warm wings and that fried rice. I prepare my place and i go back into the bag to find 12 packets of soy sauce and 1 measly packet of duck sauce. I’m heated, way more than my food mind you, so heated that i left my food on the table picked up my condiments and took a picture of this display of duck sauce stingyness. (left the y in there for the question of why the F’ they don’t proportion the duck sauce/Soy Sauce evenly)

So I’m force to eat my grains of rice that are now swimming in a pool of soy sauce, my mind wonders and I think how come there are no black businesses in the black community. Well their may be one in like every other town but for the most part it’s a liquor store owned by the Middle Easterners to destroy our liver, the beauty supply spot/nail shop owned by Koreans, The Check cashing place owned by Italians or more Muslims, a laundromat owned by Papi’s and the apartment complex owned by the whites. Nothing but the cars, spinning rims and the weed spot is owned by the blacks. I mean it’s so bad that I went to the gas station dressed in my shirt and church pants after coming home from a hard day of work and the Middle Eastern man says to me, What it do Shawty, what pump you on! I know this guy didn’t just make a mockery of my culture it’s black history month have some respect. So I’m thinking why don’t we own anything in our community other then our own personal possessions. I ponder this as all the other cultures prosper off our money and send it back home to their homeland. It’s no secret we all know they do it but why don’t we invest our black dollars into our black business owners. So I asked one of my Reservoir Dogs Ms. Pink and this is what we have came up with.

10 Reasons why Blacks Don’t Buy Black

Not all Black businesses are bad I’m just saying we need to step our game up and be more consistent with our business ventures.

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Cee Lo & Friends NYE Jam

Quote of the Day: for the sake of some little mouthful of flesh, we deprive a soul of the sun and light and of that proportion of life and time it had been born into the world to enjoy

I got a sweet tooth for you girl I’m tempted to taste. I can’t wait to drink your milk You’re looking like a big ole piece of cake. I’m hungry girl, let me raid your kitchen. There is a fundamental mistake made by the male gender all over the world, and that’s eating the pussy just to get some cooch. You give us good coochie eaters a bad name when we get in a mood like I am in today.

I want to take a fly shorty and lay her down and eat her pussy all day long until night falls and the stars come out to play. I mean eat her like a world class food eater in one of those competitions. Y’all know what I’m talking about when you see those dudes holding a trophy w/ food smeared all over their face. Yea like that I want to put my face all up in her middle, b/c my mind tells me that the next cooch i eat will taste just like a bag of skittles.

Eating Pussy is a science!! There rules to this shit, and I’m going to need band-aid for my knees and I’ll probably give my self a mouth full of cavities. When it comes to eating I like to do a few things.

Ease Down On It

Before you get ready for your meal it’s best to set the table. Foreplay! It works fellas, kissing is a very sensual move, start by kissing the lips on her mouth, soft wet pecks, with your hand rubbing her face, fingers running through her hair as you move and suck her bottom lip, kissing her neck and running your tongue down the length, work her breast licking your lips so they are wet when you graze them across her nipples. A nice way to treat the nipples is to lick from 3 to 9 while massage the other breast and showing both of them equal love. Ease on down stopping at the belly button, and while your down there play w/ her insides from the outside. Push down on her lower abdomen with your outstretched fingers, in sort of a Vulcan death lock, there are some organs in there which stimulate the cooch and gets it just right for eating. If you don’t believe me ask your anatomy professor.

Work The Middle… Rock The Boat

Gradually move down w/ your fingers, intentionally brushing against her clit, world the lips of her pussy. I like to take my index finger and my ring finger and push them together causing the clit to pop up and then massage it w/ my middle finger which I have already made moist. When you do this you can use her own lips to add to her pleasure. Hey know one knows what she likes more than she does. Tongue tap her pussy while you’re doing this, your tongue should move like thumper.

Go for the Kill

You should be in a groove now pull her lips back and reveal the inside goodness of the cooch, lick it, suck it, poke it, do as many thing you can to it, but pay attention if you do something that she likes she’s going to do one of 2 things moan really loud and tell you not to stop. If she moans real loud keep doing what you’re doing. If she tells you don’t stop, Tell her to shut up and keep doing what she told you not to stop doing. This will turn her on to no end. Females like to feel like they are w/ a MAN! So show her you’re in control and you got this. Eating pussy is 75% mental.

Batteries Not Included

The Clit is a delicate flower, and sometimes you need a little help. So just like a gardener needs tools you might want to invest in some toys of your own. Now sure you can just use hers b/c most women have them. But then you run the risk of licking around a plastic dildo and that’s not a good look. So Fellas invest in a bullet and some changeable tips this adds excitement to the feast you are having. Think of the bullet like hot sauce for the clit since it taste like chicken.

After you have ate her right her pussy will be perfect for fucking and you’ll be more likely to make her cum, so dive in, kiss her to share your meal, bang your manxilla into the side of her walls, throw the head of your manxilla into the bottom of her coochie, give her that dick that is so good it will make her slap her mama!!!

Alicia Keys Feat Raheem DeVaughn – No One Remix

Being that new music of Raheem DeVaughn leaked this week I thought now would be the perfect time to post the interview we did with him on my Weekly Radio Show FWNBTD [Folks With Nothing Better To Do] So peep it under the hood and listen while you surf the web.

So she’s living with another dude, so the chances of getting back together might pretty much be out of the question. An intense feeling of betrayal and justification of my over reactions fill my soul. I thought about spending the whole weekend drunk out of my mind, but rationality filled my conscious. Well almost, I hopped on the phone, I wanted company, I needed someone to take my mind off of the pain my heart felt. I met this one in the club, shes been dying to see the Kool Kid, but a pseudo relationship got in the way of numerous other chances to hook up but not tonight. The apartment was clean from head to toe, the scent of mango mist filled the air as she walked into the door looking like a movie star ready to accept her Oscar for her award winning performance. I usually don’t write about my current dealings, but this is an exception this weekend is all for your reading pleasure.

After a few drinks and small talk, we get down to business, see I had a plan, I wanted to test how committed she was, I was trying to locate the exact longitude and latitude of where her mind was at. We kissed, I needed a kiss, to fill her lips on mine, taste her tongue. The Hennessy on my tongue mixed w/ the Hennessey on hers to make it a double shot which was satisfying to the soul. Her chest resembled the bosoms that so many in Hollywood paid thousands for, perfect orbs, soft and firm. Much more pleasant to the eye then the used tea bags I had grown to accept more than love. Her Stomach, a nice 4 pack of tightness. Honestly it made me want to do a few sit-ups myself.

But we got it on, I rolled the Trojan Magnum onto my rock hard dick, I wasn’t going to NUT. I was going to make her work for it, I wanted to please her, I drove my pole inside of her, turned on by her moans and her eyes rolling into the back of her head. I pulled her legs up onto my shoulders, tooting her hole up as I entered. I’m not sure how Goddess like this was, but a plethora of damns, fucks, shits, and oh gods came out of her mouth. I felt her melt on my dick, her legs began to shake. I turned her over, to everyone’s favorite position… Doggy Style.

She threw it back, her ass was a hybrid between an apple and onion, smooth and fantastic for my viewing pleasure. The softness bounced on my front as she worked. The pussy was good, I wanted to dig into it, so as she sat up on all fours I dug my thumbs into her crack and my other 8 fingers gripped her soft ass and I began to probe and pound. I wanted her to squeeze my dick as it entered her, make the cum ooze out into the condom and grease my dick. But she didn’t she braced the wall, where my headboard should have been if it not have been broken months before. She moaned and could no longer maintain balance on all fours. I had her face down ass up. I could see that she had came for a 2nd time. I glanced at the clock, I could see this was going to be one of those marathon fuck sprees.

I got on my back, smacked her ass and told her to get on top. A lackadaisical ride session ended fairly quick. I am a firm believer that females should come w/ a label attached to them “Beware, Cannot RIDE DICK!” It’s okay let me get on top, by this time the condom had dried out, so I pulled out I knew how to fix this. As I popped my dick out of her she asked If I came. I replied no and left the room. I went to the refrigerator popped out a cube of ice, placed it in my mouth and went back into the room. She was trying to go to sleep. But I’m Xilla The Kool Kid not J.Holiday, I smiled as to say my teeth are straight, then positioned my face between her legs and kissed. A loud moan, arched her back, as I used my tongue to spread her lips and dart the cube of ice inside of her. I sucked her clit, my chilled tongue tapping on her. My dick still rock hard… I entered her. Another round and I still didn’t NUT. I was tired I put in a work to please and about 75% of all she could do was lay there. I rested on my back, as she rolled over and went to sleep.

I came to the conclusion which was already in my head… She’s regular stingy like the rest of them. She wasn’t about to crawl on her knees after I was convinced she couldn’t make me nut, and suck it out of me. Blow bubbles with the nut, slap herself w/ the dick and a lot of other stuff. I’d guess this one was all for self. So next time we fuck… she’ll get the stingy dick.

There is a new lie sweeping the nation, this lie has topped: “I gotta man”, “Sure I’m going to call you” and even “this is my real hair”. The new number one lie told by females is, I got the bomb ass pussy, and you wouldn’t know what to do w/ it!!! SUUuuurrrreeee!! Females have now taking over the role of lying on their goodies and I’m not going to take it anymore.

I kid you not I’ve heard that line from the last 10 women I’ve been with and out of the ten only 2 have had some good twat. Now if all women say guys have a big dick, all men say girls have good pussy. We say this b/c we want to bust a nut again.

I’ve heard the tales of how the men keep running back, of how you got this for doing that and even you can throw my pussy in the air and it will turn to sunshine. Yeah right. There was only a few times in my life where I stuck it in and was helpless but to repeat OMG over and over again.

But be happy, b/c true good cooch is a curse, it will take over all rational thoughts in your head, it will start to think for you. Lights need to be paid and vagina will debo the brain for control of the body and you’ll end up sleeping w/ Joe Scumbag to get the lights paid. This goes for rent, the car note and those new Louie shows that Kesha Cole had on at the Negro Awards.

But unlike Good dick good V.J.J. looses it’s goodness with-in a few years. The water runs dry, the tightness leaves, the warmth becomes cold and the oceans waves no longer pound the shore like they once did. So take it easy and understand that it’s alright to have regular pussy.