10 Wonderful Things Men Look For In A Woman
Posted in Relationships on 04. Mar, 2010
Almost daily I receive emails from women asking “What Does A Man Look For In A Woman.” While each man is different, I can say we pretty much want the same thing. No not sex as freaky as the sex caught on camera during the FAMU Sex tape, but fairly simply things. My good friend, Internet brother and fellow Sexual Intellectual Mr. Smart Guy compiled 10 things men want in a woman. Pop the hood for more of what men want in a woman.
10. Independence
- No man wants a woman they have to baby-sit. Once in a while, like if she’s had a rough day at work, it’s great to be her shoulder to cry on, but if she can’t seem to wipe her butt without you handing her the toilet paper, she will eventually make you feel like you’re suffocating, which is a surefire way to get you running out the nearest exit. On the other hand, if she has her very own personality and opinions, can stand on her own two feet, both financially and emotionally, and is able to enjoy time away from you – while still missing you, of course – then she must be a great woman.
9. Intelligence
- I hate to be the one to tell you this, but the ditzy dumb-blonde chick routine gets real old, real fast. Instead of being the one in total control, you’ll find yourself trying to figure out what she’s really thinking behind those glazed eyes of hers (or if she’s actually thinking at all). An intelligent woman will constantly surprise you and keep you on your toes. She won’t let you get bored of her. Besides, it’s nice to have something to talk about between all that toe-curling, spine-busting sex.
8. Sexuality
- While we’re on the topic, a great woman has to be sexually compatible (freaky-deeky, if you’re nasty) with you. For instance, if you’re into some freaky, nasty froggy-style agendas and she’s more the “hold each other until the sun comes up” type, that’s a problem. The two of you have to be on the same page or, at least, she has to be willing to wear a smile with some whipped cream from time to time. Of course, this doesn’t imply that she has to know all the precise moves right away; it simply means that you and she have an undeniable attraction toward each other, and are able to communicate your desires verbally (or with physical cues). It is important that you please each other in the bedroom, or on top of the dryer – whatever the case may be.
7. Attractiveness
- I know, this one is kind of obvious, but important nonetheless. A great woman will not only want to look good for you, but also for her. She should always look her best and be well put together – matching draws is a definite plus (we notice when you put that work in). Men have to be proud to have their women on their arm and enjoy the sight of her in any light. And this doesn’t mean that she has to be a Halle Berry clone. Remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so if you think her big ol’ booty svelte figure or nappy kitchen uncontrollable curls are beautiful, you’re allowed.
6. Respect
- This is very important. Your partner must respect you. This means that they listen to you, even if they don’t necessarily agree with what you’re saying. And, of course, they never try to humiliate or demean you in any way, shape or form. A phenomenal person won’t ever cause scenes in public or in front of your friends and family, and will always wait to discuss matters with you in private. If they respect you, chances are that they will behave in a tactful and diplomatic manner in most situations, which is definitely a good thing.
5. Non-Controlling
- Do not – I repeat – DO NOT get involved with someone who tries to get you to eat goat cheese and fruit for breakfast and insists that you give up the things you love most. You will end up resenting them more than you can imagine. A good partner lets you be you in all your glory, dirty draws and all. They have to realize the differences that men and women have and should allow you to be yourself.
4. Non-Complaining
- There is nothing worse someone who nags! A great woman knows this and chooses her battles wisely. She knows when to speak up and when to let it slide. You don’t want a woman who will give you hell for leaving a couple of dishes in the sink occasionally. However, if you’re shacking up and you stay out all night without calling her, and she lets you have it, then you’re setting yourself up for disaster. This is a situation that nobody would let slide – not even a great woman.
3. Pleasant
- A great woman will not only help your mother in the kitchen, listen to your long stories about nothing and hang out with your friends, but she will enjoy it. She’ll make a real effort to get to know and love the most important people in your life. And she won’t try to get you to ditch your best friends. She’ll actually empathize with your homeboy getting dumped and suggest that the crew take him out to cheer him up. Not only that, but your friends won’t roll their eyes and moan when you mention that she’ll be joining y’all when she gets off work (yes, women like this do exist).
2. Loving
- If you have found a woman who loves you for who you really are and not who you pretend or try to be sometimes, you should definitely hang on to her. A woman who doesn’t try to change you is hard to find. Of course, all women have their slightly annoying habits (leaving a drop of juice in the fridge) that their mate has to contend with, but if she really loves you, she will be able to cope with these. Another way to know if she really loves you is by observing the way she looks at you and treats you on an on a daily basis. If the sight of you doesn’t seem to faze her either way, and she doesn’t really seem to care about what you have to say, she’s either playing very hard to get, or sees you as just some guy. But if a surprise visit or phone call from you makes her light up, there’s no denying that she loves you.
1. She makes you want to be a better man.
- Stop making that face… any man who has a great woman or wife will tell you that she makes him want to be a better man. She doesn’t have to say or do anything; it just is that way. If you suddenly feel bad about how you treated your sister or find yourself trying to get your finances in order, you might want to think about your motivation for doing so. It could be love.
Ladies this right here is the key to love, if you are this woman then you probably already have a man. If you aren’t this woman, become her… fast.
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I have to totally agree with you on this one. These are the things that I work on the most when it comes to making my man happy. Especially the part of “choose your battles wisely”, I live by that rule. Not just in my relationship but in life period. I guess that’s why He married me! And yes, he tells me all the time “I make him want to be a better man”. To make a relationship truly work we have to be unselfish in everyway. Truly give your self to someone with no reservations…… Unconditional Love!
Love this post…thank you for promoting my image..:)
Good post my dude..Very true..Where is the share button, so I can school some ladies out there
The whole post is onpoint but #1 is enough to carry your whole point! btw I am a girl! LOL!
Hmmmm….. interesting. As I celebrated my parent’s 39th anniversary today. I can see these qualities in my mother. Nice Post and Congratulations Eugene&Sadie. Thank you for being living qualities of Love/Support/Faithfulness
Hmmmm….. interesting. As I celebrated my parent’s 38th anniversary today. I can see these qualities in my mother. Nice Post and Congratulations Eugene&Sadie. Thank you for being living qualities of Love/Support/Faithfulness
Wow! I am so impressed and I love that you wrote this. I am a blog writer myself and you came on a show that I’m currently interning for as well. I love that you covered everything about how a woman is supposed to behave I definitely have all 9 of 10 the qualities that you listed. I’m a college student on her way out but looking for the financial independence part that’s my only thing in my way for now. But everything else you listed I truly support and believe. A lot of these qualities I learned from my mother who has had two lasting long relationships where both men could say she definitely had 10. So I learned them from her. I believe as a young woman. She should have all of these things to give her man and keep her man happy inside the home, out on the street, and between the sheets. So as long as she follows that she will blossom into the woman who is a dime or a 10 as they say. =)
This is an awsome list however I am all these things (except for the sex stuff. 25 y.o. and still waiting on the right one) and still no man….. Apperently being all these things ain’t enough…. *Sigh*
guess what…this is everything a woman wants in a man as well
nice post, i concur
Great List!
Question now is why don’t men “appreciate” these qualities once they do find them in a woman?
All that is so true esp. Number 9 (I think) the one intelligence..I don’t hink any man want a girl/women where he has to dumb himself down in order to have a conversation… Overall good post because all these facts are true
Yes!! This is a list I feel is truthful and obtainable!! I like how its finally a post that is well rounded and takes reality into perspective- no one wants a nag, but there are times when women DO need to pick there battles wisely!! So I think the author was very objective and kept it real from a man’s perspective
I aim for everything on this list. I’m a work in progress. HA
I definitely am this, but when a slip up happens and the man you’re with doesn’t see that attention is what you want and you receive it from someone else, then its not her fault. But how about a man that doesn’t let go of the past and holds on to it but tries to hold to you at the sametime?!
You should post this to your facebook so i could share it! thanx
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True true true but is it wrong to want all those 10 wonderful things back from ur man?
True THAT on all 10 points. I’ve only become all of that after a lifetime and in the past 5 years. So my man is most pleased and impressed with me because he knew me when I was insecure. I appreciate the “beauty in the eye of the beholder” caveat. When we were apart he was with some, errr ahhhh — women that did NOT look nothing like me (insert Shug Avery voice) but he was happy. That plagued me for many moons. Just happy that we’re back together now and it’s working because of my changes. However I would like to say — patience, compassion, empathy, nurturing and respect are qualities that all HUMANS should have. Those are the underlying personality traits of the ideal woman you mentioned before. Once a lady gets that…we got to beat these bussa’s off with a stick. Even the lame ones can detect quality.