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FTV: 5 Clear Signs You’re Dating A Stalker
Posted in Relationships on 18. Jan, 2010
Photo By Pudge Photos
“Being with an insanely jealous person is like being in the room with a dead mammoth.” Mike Nichols. An overprotective relationship can seem like you are serving a jail term where you get to have sex at least once a week. One day while walking out of my apt in NC, I saw this girl whom I haven’t seen since the day I moved in, she was walking super fast, I later found out she was sneaking out of the house to escape her alcoholic boyfriend who beat her up and kept her tied down with the baby. She would have done anything I wanted her to do, just for the experience of being free that night. I didn’t take her up on her offer, although something deep down inside wanted to, because she was beautiful. But, for the year I never seen her I wonder if she knew she was in a toxic relationship.
Here are some signs you’re with an overprotective lover:
Mr. Telephone Man:
- Does your lover check your phone? If so you might be with an overprotective person. Trust is the key to this post, and in a relationship trust is vital to having some sort of freedom in order to keep your sanity. No one wants to have their interaction with someone policed. Now granted people are grimy in general, and a friend of the opposite sex, can be a lover without you knowing. Will Forte wrote “Steve was incredibly nice, but in a way someone might be nice when they are sleeping with your girlfriend” You just never know, but at the end of the day freedom is needed and being the phone police is not the way to do it.
- Does your lover call you a bit too much? One of my followers on twitter told me her ex boyfriend called her every 5 minutes when she wasn’t around him. He would count her rings and he’d know if she was on the phone or not. Crazy right? “he would be like y r u ignoring me when your on the phone? Im like how do you know? “b/c ur phone only rang for 37 sec’s” WTF” ~ AlwaysConvinced If you’re not able to enjoy a night away from your lover, then it’s a clear sign you need to end that relationship, it’s just not healthy.
- Playing phone games. I had an ex-girlfriend who some how got the number to my new girlfriend, and one night while chilling at my girlfriends house my phone run, I answered the phone and all I heard was breathing, a few minutes later my girl’s phone wrung and again all she heard was breathing. Come to find out it was my ex girl calling both of us to listen to the background noise to see if we were in the same place. If you’re playing games like this, then you might just need to move on, and if someone else is playing this weird stalker type game, then you need to make it clear to them that it’s over and not leave anything open for a future cashing in of a coochie coupon.
Somebody’s Watching Me:
- Overprotective lovers seem to have a team of people to help them be a stalker. I can’t tell you he many times I’ve heard women say “My man will know he has people following me” granted I shouldn’t have been trying to temp any young woman to cheat, but an overprotective relationship will cause women to start looking for options. You never know what this crazy lover is telling their friends, they could paint a picture of their lover being the worst person in the world when in turn it’s their antics which is causing a person to stray. My boy Napps126 had a similar situation “yep! Had her people watching me in the club and going on other people myspace pages to see the pictures we took 2gether…Lmao!”
- Ayo Technology: With the popularity of social networking sites like Myspace and Facebook it’s almost like a stalkers dream come true. It’s so easy to hop from page to page trying to read deeper into a flirtacious comment, or an extra sexy picture posted on a webpage. If you have to check comments in order to figure out if your lover is cheating, then you need to end that relationship asap.
There are a million other signs of an overprotective lover, but these are the most common. What are some other ways overprotective lovers keep tabs on their significant other?
dear xilla,
i was just wondering if you would have sex with the model in the picture that you have
ummm no b/c i don’t know her and I don’t go around sleeping w/ just anything.
Ok that was a really strange question badromance but who am I to judge. I have dealt with the stalker guy and have the police reports to prove it. He would just stand outside my door and listen for other voices in my crib and drive by to see if my car was there and if it wasn’t he would call with the “how you getting around” question. I have also been guilty of the phone stalker and I have truly learned my lesson. When you look for stuff you shall find it and your little feelings will be hurt so I no longer look through the boyfriend phone.
One Of My X’s Use To Stalk Me… He’d Call Me Like As Soon As I Put The Key In The Door To MyCrib Or Call Me As Soon As I Jumped In My Car To Take Off. If I Was Off During The Week I Use To Have To Get Up & Turn On The Bathroom & Bedroom Lights So He’d Think I Was Getting Ready For Work. If I Didn’t Do That He’d Call Me On Some “I Know Your Off Today” Type Ish. It Had Gotten So Bad That He Use To Break Into My House And Steal Crazy Stuff, Work Uniforms, PJ’s, Underwear, Soap! I Had To Move. I Ran Into Him A Couple Of Months Ago After Like 6 Years And He Was Like Can I Get Your Number…Umm Nigga Noooo!
My ex bf of 3 years would show up unexpectedly at my house just to see who was there. He would steal random things from my house so I had to go other to his house to get it. One time he stole my laptop and i had a paper due that next day. Sure enough I had to drive my ass over there. I couldnt afford an F. He would check the phone. He would pay for things and later throw what he payed for in my face. He didnt use to be like that, and i was sad to let him go. Dick game was proper tho. Just wasnt meant to be. Oh well, case of my ex.
Social networks have killed many a relationship…
Hello there! I really enjoyed viewing your site. Helps me relax for a bit. Keep more blogs comin…ciao!
@YoungBrothas is right. For many reasons.
yup, been the victim of the stalker-ex. my ex-fiance stalked me for about a year after we broke up. i mean literally… the man would call me non-stop and when i didn’t answer, he’d text me continuously, come by my house uninvited, all kinds of crap. i finally embarassed him in public one day (which i hated doing) and he started backing off… THANK GOD!
That’s sad that a man has to be that overprotective before, during and after a relationship. I don’t condone cheating, but that type of behavior would make a woman want to go cheat.
Signs of being overprotective…..
when she asks to smell your d–k like Taraji P. Henson did to Tyrese in “Baby Boy”.
When you tell them that you are going to the store and they say something like, “why?” or “you better come right back!”
When you start doing your hair, makeup and getting a nice outfit and he says, “who are you dressing up for?”
When they call you and text you at 10AM ONE DAY after you met them in the club(this has happened to me).
After you block their number, they call your mother’s house, etc. looking for you.
When you want to lose weight and they say something like, “oh no, you don’t need to do anything,you look fine the way you are” (fear that they might leave after they lose the weight).
When he doesn’t want you to hang out with your friends because he thinks they are all hoes.
Those are a few I can think of for now.
My ex has done all of these to the point he would call my phone at work to see if I am at work. Other times when we weren’t living together he would go thru my back yard and snoop thru the cracks of my window blinds to see if I’m home then knock on the window to open the door. He don’t trust my sister or the only 2 best friends I have in the world, if I went out with them there would be an argument. I would have to ask him if I can go out. All of this on top of the emotional abuse, it can drive a woman mad. And he still don’t get it, he has yet to get a clue that I’m moving on!
OMG! My stalker was so bad when I lived in my apt he used to come and say who’s car is that parked over there? Hell how am I supposed to know I live in a freaking apt.I got pregnant (he trapped me) he stole my car from the hospital because my friends were calling to see how I was doing, hid my car at his friends apt. After I had the baby he would tell me to send pics of my baby so he could see if I was at home, I couldn’t take it any longer cuz he couldn’t keep his hands to himself. So I just woke up one day called him up told him it was over. This man called me so many times I turned my phone off for an hour when I turned it back on my mailbox was full and it was still ringing off the hook.He found out I was dating someone else he called the boy up and told him he was going to kill him if he touched me! LOL! I changed my number and he came to my house and keyed my car like a bitch! So I sent my brothers after him, this nigga was hiding under the bed so they couldn’t find him! LOL! Till this day he still writes me letters (not even asking abt the baby) saying that I need to be back with him or else, yea right that’s why I have a restraining order now so he sends his friends over to my house now. Ladies if you have that holla back pu$$y beware cuz these boys won’t leave you alone.