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“Xilla Help! I Slept With His Whole Family”
Posted in Rated Grown Up on 05. Jan, 2010
Photo by D Brown Photos
The other day, I got an email from a loyal reader from outside the states. Some may think she’s in quite the dilemma, but I say when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Warning this situation is sorta messy, but hey. Check out her email to me.
Hey Xilla,
I read your blog all the way from Calgary, Alberta, Canada and I have to say I think it’s one of the best blogs out there! Your posts are always informative, truthful and often hilarious. Keep up the work! As a reader, I was hoping you could lend me some advice with a dilemma of my own. I’ve gotten many female opinions on the topic but thought a valid male opinion on the subject would help me to make my final decision.
Here’s the background story, almost a year ago I broke up with my last serious boyfriend. We dated for almost 2 years and I was very much in love with him. We broke up basically because he was sleeping with anything and everything that had a hole. Anyways, after we broke up, he moved back to his hometown and I didn’t see or speak to him for 4 months. During that time however, I still hung out and remained close with his cousins. His cousins and I hit it off when my ex and I had started first dating and I had developed close friendships with majority of them. With my ex out of the picture this time around, you can only guess what eventually happened.
I ended up sleeping with his closest cousin, this was the cousin whose place my ex had been staying at the entire time he had lived in Calgary while we were seeing each other. I wish I could say I slept with his cousin once and that was that but if that had been the case I would not be in the dilemma I’m in now. His cousin and I continued to sleep together for 5 months and to make matters worse, he had/still has a girlfriend (she never found out about us.) I eventually ended my sex sessions with the cousin and my ex and I started talking again, just as friends on my part, for him it happens to be more but that’s neither here nor there.
Now, just recently, for almost 2 months now, I’ve started seeing yet another of my ex’s cousins who just so happens to be the younger brother of the last cousin (confusing, I know.) He doesn’t know I slept with his older brother and his older brother does not know the two of us are dealing with one another. I told my ex I was seeing his younger cousin and he freaked out on me because he was not comfortable knowing his ex – girl was dealing in the family (completely understandable.)
I’m scared that my ex will tell the older brother of the guy I’m currently dealing with (since they do continually talk to one another) and the older brother will then tell his younger brother he’s slept with me before which could lead his younger brother to tell his older brothers girl…blah blah blah. Basically, a snowball effect full of drama. I don’t understand why I can’t rid myself of this family even though I know my life would be so less stressful if I did. I want to cut my ties with all 3 but the new guy I’m seeing treats me well and I really do like him. My question to you is do you think I should finally get out of this family or do you think I should still give this new relationship with the younger cousin a try regardless of the past family drama? Your advice would be much appreciated.
Thanks so much,
The Family Girl
Dear Family Girl,
You’ve done more than smashed the homie, you’ve smashed the cousin and the cousin’s little brother, but hey I’m willing to bet Natalie Nunn slept with more men in 4 days than you did during the course of your family gauntlet in the bedroom. Many women will have their opinions about you, but this is a new day and age we live in and the things you have done cannot be erased, so you might as well go hard. My opinion is eff what people might think and continue to do you. Men do stuff like this all the time. I have a friend who gave this chick at work a ride home one day, and ended up sleeping with her, her little sister, and like 3 of her friends. He got mad props from the homies by telling this story. It’s a bit different with women, but I say why should it be?
Fulfill your fantasy, if you have one. I know a lot of women want to sleep with 2 guys or maybe more, you can get three Mandingo warriors who have all ready have been taking for a test drive. Set it up.
There are only a few things certain in the world and that’s people will judge you and one day you’ll eventually die. These are two things you can’t change, but neither of these things means you can’t have fun in the process.
One thing I do suggest is that you get tested and make sure you use protection every single time you indulge in fruit from this family tree. Also don’t worry about them finding out, chances are they already know and are down with you being on each of their roster. Men don’t really care about these things like women do, especially if the woman isn’t their girlfriend anymore. I say you let the cat out of the bag before anyone else does it for you. Make the suggestion they all join in the reindeer games and see what happens.
Have fun and embrace your inner jump off, because in most cases the jump off is more important to a man’s life than a main chick, depending on which stage of a man’s life he is currently stuck in. So my advice, is enjoy and protect yourself. Or simply just cut ties and end everything. Which is smart, but probably not as fun as enjoying yourself. Keep me posted.
Xilla
First off this young lady is far from confused she knows exactly
what she is doing. I’m under the impression that this is some
kinda payback to the ex. He slept around with “anything and everything” that had a hole? Hmmm, sounds like he slept with her friends! Its sad that she had to resort to sleeping with her
ex-boyfriends family members but she did it cause she wants
the ex to find out! There is more to this story….SO TELL THE
WHOLE STORY NOT HALF OF IT!
First off this young lady is far from confused she knows exactly
what she is doing. I’m under the impression that this is some
kinda payback to the ex. He slept around with “anything and everything” that had a hole? Hmmm, sounds like he slept with her friends! Its sad that she had to resort to sleeping with her
ex-boyfriends family members but she did it cause she wants
the ex to find out! There is more to this story….SO TELL THE
WHOLE STORY NOT HALF OF IT! #ImJustSayin #ThatsMyTwoCent
lmao..
!st she knows what she’s doing she’s not confussed… I think she sleeping with the cousins to get back at the ex-boyfriend.. newflash after you told him the first 5min of shocked wore off and he just aint give a fuck… (guys could give a fuck less who your crewing when your their ex..exspecially if he was a cheater).
Second you were with a man who was cheating on you so now you fuck his cousin who haas a girl..(women doing on to other women what they dont want done to them)
Third: if you wanna keep fucking the fam and thats all you want is some good dick then hell do you…I mean if your enjoying the lil cousin dick then keep enjoying it .. his older brother and cousin already know you fucking him and he know you fucked them because MEN TALK.The only confusion would come from if you trying to start a serious relationship with the younger cousin (which sorry to tell you will never happen)
Other than that rap it up..hopefully you doing this cause you want to …not b/c you think your ex hurt you
*WHEW* This a little much and I can barely contain how unreal this is.
She must realize is that she is a jumpoff and needs to play her role as one. Although she may really like the new younger cousin she needs to come clean about sleeping with his brother and what she wants from him (if that’s more than sex). Most men don’t care about who we have slept with in most case but that is not to say that you shouldn’t come forward and say something if not she’ll just be another ride on the jumpoff carousel.
lmao..
!st she knows what she’s doing she’s not confussed… I think she sleeping with the cousins to get back at the ex-boyfriend.. newflash after you told him the first 5min of shocked wore off and he just aint give a fuck… (guys could give a fuck less who your screwing when your their ex..exspecially if he was a cheater).
Second you were with a man who was cheating on you so now you fuck his cousin who haas a girl..(women doing on to other women what they dont want done to them)
Third: if you wanna keep fucking the fam and thats all you want is some good dick then hell do you…I mean if your enjoying the lil cousin dick then keep enjoying it .. his older brother and cousin already know you fucking him and he know you fucked them because MEN TALK.The only confusion would come from if you trying to start a serious relationship with the younger cousin (which sorry to tell you will never happen)
Other than that rap it up..hopefully you doing this cause you want to …not b/c you think your ex hurt you
double standard or not. I dont think i could wife up a girl who just got thru telling me a story how she slept with three guys in the same familiy
Wow she smashed the cousins…but hey who am I to judge?
yikes!
Um…all three of those men know what is going on. Please believe that.
That’s my girl! She totally knows what she’s doing. Everyone who’s bashing us just jealous! If you’re not married your free no one gets dibbs on a bitch. If she’s gonna marry hiM then tell him and vice versa but go hard til u have to get out. And she’s hoTta than all tha bitches in hurrrr!!!
In my defence I am family girl and nobody has gotten hurt in this and I have broken it off with my ex and the older cousin and I til this day are good friends ( minus the sex) and everybody has skeletons in thero closets some of which don’t need to be brought up unless I was planning to get serious with the younger one and as you ppl so kindly pointed out I’m planning on getting serious with him anayways. And what’s so wroung with being a jumpoff? Haven’t you read xillas post about wifing hoes?
Well, a lot of dudes have a huge problem with the fact they know you smashed the homie. It’s going to be a HUGE problem that she smashed the family! If she really likes this dude then there is a strong possibility that he will not want to deal with her anymore.In some families, blood is thicker than water and in others it doesn’t mean a thing. She can’t keep it a secret for too long though. I imagine family functions would be awkward! Stay safe and wrap it up!
@family girl..”And what’s so wroung with being a jumpoff? Haven’t you read xillas post about wifing hoes?”
blame it on the xil xil xilla-ohol (lol)
girl *shakes head* respect yourself. being a hoe should never be an aspiration.
Lmao, wifing a ho? *giggles* If you relate yourself to that, chances are you mean less to them.
They probably traded warstories already, it ain’t no fun if the cousin can’t have none….that sort of thing.
Number 3 might like you (a lot even), but he ain’t never going to forget you banged his bro/cousin, sorry hun. If it’s just about sex for you, it’s whatever, but if you want more?
Dip another pool!
She should just become their family concubine. Thats the best answer become all three of the guys girlfriend, if you have 3 boyfriends I dnt believe you will be cheating anytime soon. But whatever she does, I hope she does not get pregnant, because someone could get shot. She is nowhere near the mindstate of reproducing.
She’s just a heartbroken slore, something I plan to discuss on TheSunk.com(Sh!t U Need 2 Know)in upcoming weeks.
Peace
It’s not like she’s banging all three of them at the same time! Yea it’d be wierd if the cousins found out but if she’s worth it to him it won’t phase him. but like she said she is good friends wwith 1 and broke it off with the ex. All I can say is they’ll never know if the others worth it unless they keep going
.
Good luck family girl
I say she call a Family Meeting and by family meeting I meant Wild Orgy. LOL :O
I don’t know what homegirl is looking for but best believe ppl in this family are laughing and talking. She might as well she be a cumbucket all at once and f’taking one dyck at a time. *shrugs*
damn.. this is awkward… nine times outta ten all of ‘em know… and they jus takin’ you along for the ride.
and oh yeah… xilla, you are a bad influence! Lol.
Hmm..
Girl, they probably do know about the younger cousin! Like someone else said earlier, men talk like something similar to locker room banter. Similar to if youve been knocked down by several players from the same football team!!!!
You know what, have fun with the young buck, IF that’s all it is, JUST FUN!
but i fear that you will get your feelings hurt, if you want him to commit to you.
and i disagree with Xilla…
Men DO care about if they KNOW someone you slept with, ESPECIALLY, A family member!! SURE, the young buck is going to knock you down because it’s available to him but I’m sure he took a mental note: Do Not Take Her Seriously!!!!
please send update!!
one more thing..
this family must have some good a** genes!! lol
Wowsa!
Question… are there no other men in Alberta??!!! I mean REALLY NOW… the whole damn family?! girl, you may think you’re just ‘getting yours’ but TRUST, those dudes are GETTING OVER on your simple ass. i’m quite sure they’ve all sat back and had a laugh at what you did and may even be trading stories on how they smashed or the head you gave. men talk and trust… you’re the topic of conversation and ridicule. regardless of what Xilla says, no man is going to take you seriously knowing his whole family tree has seen your Vicky Secrets. it’s just a fact of life. move on and find another set of men to screw, i’m sure there are others in Canada. *smdh*
I.cannot.say.shyt.about.this.topic……
Put it like this….One cousin woulda been enough for me
yall leave that girl alone…..I hope that she just dont let them dudes define her …just cause of some sex…never let a mans/men’s peens define you girlie …PERIOD… walk w your head high no matter what
By the way she acts so care-free and liberate by her philandering ways, and her obvious placement of “hoes” on a pedestal, I’d have to say “Family Girl” is nothing but a young misdirected youth. Too many rap videos? Maybe. If you are going to downgrade yourself to being the family toy, then what does that say about your self respect? No, your class? You have none. So, Yeah, she can feel liberated, empowered and whatever else makes her think that being a whore (sorry, but I’m being honest) is justifiable. But, women do nothing but complain about how men dog them out, how men treat them like they mean nothing, how men just sleep around etc etc etc… so that means it’s okay to become what we despise? And yeah, I admit, a broken heart can create a monster… but this, this is disgusting. It’s vile. And, to be blunt about it, sex must be all she has to offer the world, because she has made it the center of her being. What you do defines who you are. So fckn the whole family just makes her valueless except for what’s in between her legs, which probably isn’t worth very much if all a nigga gotta do is have the same great grand daddy as the next mann. She has signed herself up for the life of a one trick pony. How’s a man to take her seriously? How is little cousin gunna introduce her to his mom? Family dinners? Christmas? “Mom, dad, cuz, this is . Oh, thats right… you boys already know her.” What man would wanna wife the girl who fcks the family? How is he gunna trust her with his Grandpa? His nephew? His uncle? Lord knows that limits are very bendable to the young and reckless.
So, if her aspiration is to be a hoe… Good job. She did it well. But, if her aspiration is to be a wifey while being a hoe at the same time? Girl btter pray she can do more than fck. Girl better know how to cook or summin, because I really don’t see a logical reason to be with someone who has so little self-respect….
LOL, wow, is Calgary so small that you gotta sleep with people in the same family?!
ohh, and as for her ex who still has feelings for her… let him know she just slept with his whole gene pool… and then check to see if he feels the same. Sighh. its funny when girls think being a hoe is cute.
@ThatGirlCurtis Wow, you must know me better than I know myself. I must give you props for giving such an accurate description of my self – esteem, relationships with men, goals and talents. I find it funny how you and almost everyone else who commented took the “hoe” comment I said earlier so seriously, I was being sarcastic, if anyone would’ve taken the time to read the context in which I said it. Anyways, s’aaall good. I appreciate the in depth analysis you gave of a girl you’ve never met. Keep up the good work!
@ Family Girl
I am never one to judge but come on son!!! you had to know by writing this mail and asking for advice you were settin urself up for an epic FAIL!!!
Please ease all of the readers thoughts and tell us that this mess is for entertainment purposes only cause I hope this is not your life.
If by some twist of fate this is whats really going on out in calgary then I wish you the best of luck in whatever type of life you are tryin’ to pursue..but know this: if you ever have to ask yourself or others if something is right when it comes to matters of the heart then 99.9% of the time you already know the answer.
Female or male, never do a family member. Ever. Period. Don’t matter if you hurt, you just hurtin yourself some more with that bullshit.
“women do nothing but complain about how men dog them out, how men treat them like they mean nothing, how men just sleep around etc etc etc… so that means it’s okay to become what we despise? And yeah, I admit, a broken heart can create a monster… but this, this is disgusting. ”
@thatgirlcurtis — I COSIGN.
LMFAOOOOOOOOO “How is he gunna trust her with his Grandpa? His nephew? His uncle?”
*DEAD*
Reading this made my skin crawl. Its utterly disgusting and in no way, shape or form will giving up the poon to the entire family a good thing. Treat ya vagina better that girl! If you are seriously thinking about getting serious with the younger guy, you have to tell him – that’s if he already don’t know.
Girl, just get yourself out this situation and leave them all alone. Just because we don’t know you, this letter leaves the impression of a hoe.
throwback pussy. aint no fun if the homies can’t get none! lol
xilla gave her some deadbeats advices, nigga do shit and still look like hoes, fuck the double standard, ima nigga but i have morals. shes doing payback and not giving a fuck, shes not confused she just knows the shit isn’t right, fuck it! shes wack
@Jay! Yeah I said that too, but at the end of the day. she has went there already and when you go that far you don’t go back.. probably should but you don’t. Fuck it! Have fun she’ll never be able to get one of those dudes again… once they find out and they will so she might as well take advantage. When life gives you lemons make lemonade.
i dig that you respond, shit i was waiting for it but then i left the comp lol yea seeing it that way she should just do her, have fun until they all run her outta town a hoe. this is a one time opportunity, if she was smart, she’d use it to her advantage and MILK EM if it isn’t too late, your already whoring, so gold dig, your gonna get hemmed up for one, the other won’t be that much worse