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Left In The Dark: “Missed Calls Or Your Feelings Mean Nothing To Me”
Posted in Relationships on 31. Dec, 2009
Model Vee Elle | Photo By Banks
Have you ever been left in the dark? Perfect example, you make plans with someone and then they totally flake and never give you an explanation as to why they canceled. Then things just go dark. No communication, no return text, straight to voicemail calls, simply nothing. I’ll admit I’ve done it before, but when it happens to you, it really makes you put things in perspective.
For me, everything was perfect before I couldn’t make it to a scheduled “date” but I just couldn’t bring myself to telling the truth. Looking back I feel like a coward, I watch my phone blow up, with what seemed like a million missed calls, a billion text messages none of which I answered and all of which I saw. It would have taken me less than a minute to text, sorry I can’t make it, or I simply changed my mind. Eventually the text messages even got pathetic, ‘Please just pick up, what did I do wrong.’ I hurt someone, but I didn’t care. Even though at that time my word meant absolutely nothing and was worth just as much as a piece of trash on the ground. This bothers me because my word is worth more than any amount of money in the world. I’m sure she felt like she just found out her mother sucked her daddy off, swallowed, then came and took a sip of her kool-aid and drip droplets of her future brothers and sisters into her drink.
Honestly none of her attempts to get a reason meant anything to me, I just decided to cut her off and cut my loses. Yet, now when it happens to me, I can’t help but feel like I should have given her a reason why I flaked. Why I stood her up after making plans weeks in advance, after conversations of her riding my face until I smelled like her for a week, and giving her super manxilla, mixed with tongue spankings. She deserved a reason as to why this didn’t happen, but I was too childish to give her one. Do we owe it to our partners to give them a reason to why we changed our minds on sex, dates, or getting head until our toes curled into crunchy cheese doodles? Don’t they deserve that much respect from us, for even putting those types of thoughts in their head?
I believe we do, people deserve the right to know the truth, and in the “jump off era” the truth can go a long way regardless of how much it may hurt a person’s feelings in the end. Because it gives them closure and allows them to know where they went wrong in the process, but in a selfish world, I can’t help but feel like nothing will change and a few million text messages can go unanswered because we do not have to explain our selves for nothing. Regardless of the emotions, and feeling months worth of conversations and friendship building has earned.
I love when you write posts with some emotional background instead of vanity.
Everyone has been in that situation before. I know I still do it to some of my “lovers”. It depressing in a way to have it done to you of course. Then the questioning starts
Whats wrong with me?
How did i mess this one up?
I believe we do owe the person were suppose to see a reason, but when we just stare at their phone calls and hope they get the hint, I understand the doubting of oneself.
Its like saying the person isnt even worth a response. . . .
I have done it before but never to someone that i had an ongoing sexual relationship before. Just a few dudes that started annoying me. It kinda happened to me once in high school.. i say kinda because if you ignore two missed calls and a text, i say the hell with u. I have a bad case of Pride and ego. I don’t chase people down if they don’t wanna be bothered!!
But i guess honesty is the best policy when it comes to growing tiresome.
@LuvNIGERIANmen: agreed two missed calls and text message and im done…cuz i know it be his loss not mine..
But i got a question for thosee who havee leftt ppl in the dark.. what happens when they disappear and try to come back 3 months later.. i tell him go back to the place hes been daa lastt 3 monthss but whyy doess he act like he did nothingg wrong?
The metaphors were the shit, “cheese doodles and “drip droplets of her future brothers and sisters into her drink”.
But everyone deserves a reason, I dnt like to leave any question unanswered. Unless the person who is getting left in the dark is a complete and utter fuck up and they know what they did, but they just wanna hear you say it.
That reason could possibly produce a person that won’t ever get left in the dark again like a cold, damp cum towel. Ur reason could be constructive criticism.
I don’t know if I am too arrogant to think someone would just disappear on me without an answer or reason. It has never happened to me. However, I would never do that to someone because I wouldn’t want them to think something had happened to me, like a car accident or what have you. I would just lie or just say maybe another time and then never get up with them again. You never want to burn any bridges either. You never know if you will run into that person again or need them for something.
It only bothers me if It was someone I was close to. Just be honest, whatever the case, because I’d be honest with you. Some aren’t well at communication, If we were close I probably already knew that about you. I’m only accountable for my own actions. So I do what I think is right, I cant control how others deal with their actions.
I am cosigning with what Glamourousssss and LuvNIGERIANmen have said. I’ve been in that situation where I was left in the dark and that individual came back in 3 months. He was questioning me as to why I didnt call him or check on him. The whole time he was saying that to me I was like what the f*ck, you cant call me either? I am not going to chase a man that I had made myself available to and we had an understanding between us nigga please lol. I swear some people can be so unconsiderate sometimes grow the F*ck up!!!
Well sometimes things happen. Maybe you caught feelings and they really just didnt give a damn, so you took it harder then they would have thought. I dont think you should ever take it personally unless it was someone that your already dating and close too.
btw, i love how you talk about eating a lady out like that. I need to meet you! asap.
This happened to me *laugh* I got no explanation, nor did I call to figure out why. The person was flaky to begin with so I figured he was living up to his true nature. Funny…. he attempted to send me a text WEEKS after no call/explanation. I ignored it b/c had it been an emergency He would have contacted me with an excuse and NOT a pic to pull at the heartstrings, which were never attached anyway. I’ve learned to accept Men for who and what they are. But in doing that I also accept they may not be worth knowing *Shrugs* Such is Life. Bigger then that HAPPY NEW YEARS wishing EVERYBODY Health/Wealth and LOVE!!
EbonyLolita
Leaving someone in the dark is so disrespectful. It is alot easier to just b real w/that person and let them know the truth. I was taught to never burn bridges, you never know when you might need that person again….
I have been in this situation. I didnt doubt myself like what did I do type of thing cuz everyone aint gonna like your style. However, I was pissed because I didnt deserve it. Noone does. I sent the tex GROW UP BB n left it at that. Dating has the same rules as employment. The no call no show method of breaking off with sum1 is hella childish.
i’ve done it, but the reason was to cheat, so i had lie to the person on why i didn’t show. bad part about it though, i didn’t even hit… ugh!
So… why did you do it? This has happened to me before and I was left in the dark about the situation. So why do guys do this?
I have also experienced this unfortunately. I say kudos to the lucky people that have not experienced this. It sucks. And in my case the dudes have popped back up outta nowhere acting like its all gravy…ugh. I guess some people just don’t want to have uncomfortable conversations so they dip. My guess is usually they do this because they find someone that they feel is better, or because they don’t like something about you and they really don’t know how to say it. But then again…why pop back up?? The whole thing is just weird.
I’ve never been in this situation, nor have done this to anyone. I would either make up a quick lil fib, or just tell the truth. We don’t click period. It’s kinda rude to not give a reason. Not to mention, I believe what come around goes around. So, I try not to lead people on in the first place. Cuz when that bitch Karma comes, it’s nothing nice lol.
It’s happened to me before and just came up with my own reasoning as to why he cut me off. I broke up with my ex and within a month started seeing this booty call, but when I told him I was working it out with myex, he backed off a bit, then started texting me again to see where my head was at, then he just totally stop responding to my text and we left it at that. Another case, was flirting online on a blog site with this kid, then he wanted to start calling me, told him sorry but I gotta man, totally deleted himself off the blog site, but we were only chatting for like a month, that was strange. But now I see, men are just too damn sensitive and selfish and want all of you or none at all!
I’ve had this happen to me and it sucks. I would never do that to someone it’s just plain rude. I would rather have a guy tell me he thinks I’m f*cking ugly than no show on me and not call. Then I don’t try and make up excuses for him and I’m done and can move on. I just like it simple is this is a childish head game. Be REAL with people.
Unfortunately this has happened to me recently and I’m still not completely over it. I had been messing with this dude for almost 9 months. We chilled,conversed,fucked,argued,shopped,and seemingly had become friends within this time frame. I knew he wasn’t my boyfriend and vice versa,we were cool. We had our arguments every now and then but who doesn’t? So needless to say when he stopped answering my calls,IMs,emails etc after 9 months I was confused as hell. Funny thing is it seemed like we were getting closer right before he flipped the script on me.He even blurted out during sex that he had never had sex was any one person for that long a period of time in his life.It kinda made me feel special…then he disappeared and right after I had spent money on him nonetheless, and I was expecting something in return…Was he too much of a coward to admit to me that he lied about the belated birthday gift I was supposed to receive?Or did he just not give a fuck?Either way I don’t know and at this point I dont think I want to or ever will.If I saw him tomorrow I wouldnt even know what to say.Probably nothing.