![[BlogXilla] Dot Com](http://blogxilla.com/blog3/wp-content/themes/manxilla/images/logo.png){kind=logo}
Newsflash: Men Cheat b/c Women Are Giving Away Sex For Free
Posted in Relationships on 24. Dec, 2009
Picture Credit: G Robianes
Newflash: Women are giving away sex for d*mn near free. Maybe it’s the recession, maybe it’s rap music, it might even be movies, sex tapes or the World Wide Web. Whatever it is, most women don’t see it coming and they have no idea they’re about to give away their vagina for basement bargain type prices.
It’s not always the hot in the pants slore, you might expect. You know that girl who women claim “always be eyeing her man“, or the one who will suck a stick on day one in the club bathroom, while she’s taking a leak. Sure all “other women” may seem to do things like this, but none of that makes her a whore. She might just be trying to please her man, who just so happens to be your man too. Let me explain.
When a man wants a woman he will pursue her, and he will stop at no lengths to get her if he really is trying to “holla”. Ladies use the term ‘he tried to holla‘ too loosely. Many times they are so high on their self that they think a friendly gesture is someone trying to holla and really the guy is just making casual conversation because he’s bored, but I digress.
Once the man has found the women he wants, it doesn’t matter if he has a woman at home, if he’s married or engaged, he will get her, conquer her and his main chick will never know. At least if he’s good at what he does. How does a man do this? Simple, he pulls out all the stops.
He will sweet-talk a woman. A man will tell a woman everything she wants to hear, and talk about anything she wants to talk about, and talk to her all day on the phone. He makes time in his schedule for her mindless chatter, listen to the details of her job and actually will seem entertained by it. Most time a good man is actually concerned w/ the details of this woman’s life because he wants something from her. Sex.
If the man has a girl, or if he’s married that doesn’t matter. He might simply not tell her he’s married, or he may even explain that he IS married, and complain about how is relationship is falling apart and how much he argues with his wife. Meanwhile he makes the lady feel special by telling her how much better she is than his wife. Women eat that up because she’s better than another woman, and since most married women flaunt their ring around like it makes them better than their single counter parts, it makes it a lot easier for the man looking to step out on his wife.
After a few phone conversations, and a date that’s better than going to the movies, or just out to dinner. The man and the other woman find them selves alone, hot and horny. Most time sex happens, other times sex happens on the date itself, but sex will happen.
This doesn’t make the lady a whore, skeezer or harlot, she felt as though she really like this guy, and she thought the guy really liked her. This lady could be a hard working woman with her own job, and her own car and her own money and now she finds herself in love with a man who hates his wife, yet goes home to her everyday and to be miserable. She thinks one day he will belong to her and they will live happily ever after. The fact that this man is a cheater might be a big reason why his marriage is miserable, and he’ll never really only belong to anyone other than himself, but again I digress.
This lady normally wouldn’t get involved with a married man, but he was miserable and he said all the things to make her happy. Doesn’t she deserve love too? Most times the man will make a declaration to leave his wife. We find that these declarations come with fine print, which reads, he’ll only leave his wife when pigs fly. A lady who had a baby by a married man wrote:
He continued to tell me how much he loved that I was skinnier than his wife, I was sexier than his wife, my sex skills were more on point than his wife; it wasn’t like I sought out those compliments, but it did make me feel beautiful.
I also loved how much he took me out. He made me feel like the world was mine. We went out at least once a week. He took me on dates to the best restaurants and I remember that after a minor spat, we’d made out at a popular sushi bar. Once again, how much could Brian love his wife if he was willing to be so public with me? He even came over once for a “quickie” lunch break.
None of these things make it her fault, she had a guy who was showing all the traits of a good guy, so why wouldn’t she, show all the traits of a good woman? A good woman knows that if her man wants a lunch break quickie, she should give her man a lunch break quickie. Quite frankly, not having lunch break quickies is a popular reason why married men cheat.
And like most cheaters he got the cookies for damn near free, and like any good bargain a man won’t let it get away easy. He’ll continue to have this pseudo relationship with a woman or women, until she becomes pregnant, or catches something and he will continue to do everything to make this relationship work, without leaving his wife. Getting high valued goods, for a low cost is the America way.
So before we bash the other woman, for breaking up a happy home, we should look at the complete story. She might not be a whore, she might just be a victim or circumstance.
Have you ever dealt with or been the other woman? Why did you go through with it? Did you know your man was someone else’s man too?
I love your blog you keep it funky no matter how pissed off it might make ppl..
But everything you said is right …females alwasy getting mad at the side chicks for f**king their man when they should be kicking they’re man to the curve.
Honestly my momma raised me with common since…if a man wants to leave his wife/gf then he’ll do it no quetions asked .. as women we forget that some men will play the field forever weather their commited or not..
As far as teh side chicks go ..everyman that wink and blink up in your face shouldnt be able to get the panties… alot of side chicks (not all) settle they deal with commited men b/c they feel like if they cant find a man aint nothing wrong with sharing someone eles as long as they find happiness or something like.. And I know some sidechick on here is gonna be like we dont give a fuck about the main chick but if thats the case ..y r yall always asking him when he gonna leave his gf/wife.
Anyway ladies dont get mad at the chick …get mad at ya dumbass man and leave him..theirs more fish in the sea..or dick in the pound ..or w/e
Thanks Chi Chi, I don’t think most side chicks settle or give it up to every man who winks at them I think that these men present them self as the best option. Which is why they get so many women. They are the best option and the best of the best. Like Tiger Woods. Like if Tiger holla’s right and the UPS dude holla… who are most chicks gonna go for? The guy who’s flying them around the world not the guy who is bringing them a package sent by someone else or can offer them free mail delivery. lol
You feel me?
I was the side chick for a man for almost three years. He wasn’t married but it still didn’t make it right. Let me start from the beginning. He was my side piece when I was in a serious relationship for two years. When my relationship ended I graduated college and moved on. About a year later he came to me single and ready to settle down but I said no. I wasn’t ready. Flash forward another year and he met someone. The whole time they were together I was with him. Mostly because the sex was out of this world and I felt like me and him had been through so much. My mother adored him and she would stay in my ear telling me one day he would leave his girl. Im not saying I was sitting by the window waiting for him, I had my own life too dating and meeting people but he was always my weakness. After him and his girlfriend moved in together it was harder for us to see each other. I told him it was over and between going back and forth I finally cut it off and left him alone. about six months ago he contacts me to tell me they broke up. I don’t know if he thought I would be happy or stop my life for him but I was cool. All the crying, lying, and sneaking around left me empty. I stayed because I felt as if out of all the men I met he was the only one that loved me but he was the worst of them all. I thought that since he was my side thing for our first two years maybe it was my turn to play that role but I shouldn’t have limited myself. I took a step back and looked at the situation realizing that I can do better. I didn’t want to mess up a happy home and if he was willing to step out on his chick he would do that same to me. We haven’t spoken in a while and after he realized I moved on he was trying his best to get back but its not gonna happen. I’ve learned that any woman should settle for sharing a man. Even though the black male population is dwindling thats no excuse. I just know for myself I would never get into anything like that ever again. It wasn’t worth it.
that’s a whole lotta bullshit sorry xilla lol but I must disagree no your not a whore or a skeezer or a harlot if you sleep with a married man(knowing he is a married man) but keep in mind that’s what whore’s,skeezer’s and harlot’s do women and men are so damn disrespectfull these days its disgusting it is so annoying that women are starting to let men get away with cheating if your married you need to make your marriage work but that’s the problem nobodies willing to do it anymore cheating is never an option it’s just a punk ass choice
Great post Xilla…I know a lot of ppl both men and females that would possibly disagree with you. But at the end of the day all of this is very subjective and it all depends how you position your statements and back it up.
Fantastic job on making this a relative post. I am sure a lot of people who come to read this will definitely be able to relate to this…especially in this day and age when ’sex’ and ‘pleasure’ seem to override most things.
Xilla, your reasonings for the most part are sadly on point.
But I must disagree, if/once a woman knows that man has a wife or is in a committed relationship and she starts/continues to mess with him it is her fault…he is NOT a good man and she is NOT a good woman. If shyt is so bad at home, end it and THEN come to me – if I’m not worth you leavin the “bad” situation then you’re not worth my time
I was unknowingly the side chick once and the day the wife called me was the day it ended. He tried to call and explain so he could keep the shyt goin but f*ck that, at that point I don’t wanna hear it, he had already proven himself unworthy.
It’s sad how many women have such little respect for themselves (nevermind others) to allow themselves to be second, if that, in a man’s life – all for a little faux-affection.
Yes all women deserve to find love but there are men who are willing to commit to one women AND if you really don’t mind being one of many there are even more men who make it known they have no intention of committing and only want open relationships…go after one of those men, not somebody else’s. Men can’t cheat if there is no one to cheat with. We as women need to raise our standards considerably!
I swear i was just writing about this type of thing a few days ago. I was a side chick for close to 5 years. I was 19 and he was 32 when we met he immediately told me he was married. I backed away but chased me relentlessly with his smooth words and charisma. Truthfully the courtship process is what hooked me. i mean he was only married for 6 months when met and i had no intentions on EVER asking him to leave his wife.
At the beginning i had a lot going on my fiancee caught a body, i had young baby to care for, college, and work…i saw him everyday at work. Plus he made so much money. I guess i was more or less ON MY SHIT. I wasn’t greedy, i didnt want it all–just my share. Our time together was always enjoyable, so i wouldnt be concerned with our time apart. Whatever else he is doing is not for me to worry about–thats his wife’s job.
As time passed i grew closer to him. We couldn’t grow closer together because he’s married. We took trips and vacations and he taught me a lot about life. Truthfully the freedom is what kept me. I listened to what he said about his issues at home but i didnt have to care. When i needed, he provided. When his wife made contact with me i was about 23. i made it a simple as possible for her…”you got his last name, dont embarrass yourself by calling me”. She needed to understand that she needs to fix her shit a home.
Im glad that i got schooled by the best because like Zilla said, these chicks are giving it away with return coupons.
Maybe its just me, but if I was with a married man and he kept comparing me to his WIFE (even in a good way) that would get on my nerves. I’m not saying I don’t have any esteem issues for we all have insecurities, but I can hear how beautiful or shapely I am from slew of fully ready and available men, so that wouldn’t be enough to make me feel its alright for me to be with someone’s deceiving husband. If a man cheats on his wife… he will cheat on a girlfriend/mistress (duh) lol, but I understand how a woman could want to feel loved so bad that she would endure such just so she can. I encourage the saying “when you KNOW better, DO better”
@Chinaeye & HeadMistress I agree with you
Thanks for the link.
I was the side chick once…but he was my side dude too…dang…he was my “fuckbuddy” and we were young so we decided we shouldn’t limit ourselfs to a relationship. But at one point I got ready for more and he wasn’t…I found out he had this chick waiting in the wings. So I met someone who was treating me right, showering me with nothing but good energy and didn’t want to play no games, but be with me. I had to make a decision, cause he wanted to make it him and me.
Well my special friend called me and told me he wanted to meet with me to talk. I waited for him, but he called me saying he had some family stuff going on and couldn’t make it. I met up with my new friend, and he asked me straight up to be with him and no one else.
I said yes…we’ve been together ever since. I got crazy calls and stuff, and his friend told me he dumped that other girl and was going to ask me to be with him, but I knew that relationship would never work, because it started with shady stuff, and he was too late.
He let me slip by, and I’m happy he did. Cause I’m still happy with the man who showed me right from the beginning, and I know, yes KNOW, he would never get a sidechick on me. Just like I would never do it to him.
Fuck that. Finally disahree with you ole chap. Women that fuck otha women husbands exist to an extent cuz of views like yours.When a bitch finds out a man is married its time to end it and take the hurt. Damn lets think about the other people involved in affairs. The wife the children. I would rather pine for an ex lover than take for granted the vows I hope to share with a future husband. What does that say about me if I want sum1 to wife me up and I dont take those vows seriously even if they arent my vows thats at stake. Women need to stop b n so damn selfish and let these married men go. I know its hard findin ya own but that is no excuse so stop fucking makin them. 1 Thang for sure if bitch fucks my husband ima fuck her up and him and I would be in the right.
I never experienced this is, I really did booty calls though. You know that’s why I always say that the man is trifling, because he know what he doing 100%. And I feel bad for homegirl for being so damn gullable. You know once it happens to you once, you live and you learn and will never be the victim again.
“Ladies use the term ‘he tried to holla‘ too loosely. Many times they are so high on their self that they think a friendly gesture is someone trying to holla and really the guy is just making casual conversation because he’s bored, but I digress.”
Realest sh*t u ever blogged…
Yo E, you know how many women I’ve lost b/c I tried to “TALK” to someone? Girls be like oh he tried to holla’ NO i didn’t i made conversation and you were just too stank to actually have a general discussion w/ someone b/c you think i want you. GTFOH. smh! Trust me if i try to holla… lemme stop but yeah homie that was from the heart! lol
I was the side chick of a man with a girlfriend for about 5 months this year. Oddly enough, the guy’s girlfriend was his old side chick. Anyways, for me, there was no emotional connection. He and I had been good friends for awhile and nothing had hppened previously. We fucked, the sex was good, I eventually broke it off with him because I realized the “side chick” was a role I did not want to be associated with. I’m only 17, he’s 24 and I didn’t want to become his “young play thing.” After I broke it off, he did attempt to hook up again because he thought I wasn’t serious. Eventually he got the hint and we still remain good friends to this day minus the side chick business. He later told me, he never regarded me as a slut or loose. Although that was comforting to hear, it was also a reality check that being a side chick was a once in a lifetime thing, I was never going to do it again.
My advice, don’t be a side chick. Especially if you are aware he has a girl, wife, fiancee..etc. It’s not worth the potential trouble and your self respect. Hold yourself to higher standards
I’ve been on both sides of this equation. I’ve had a side chick, who did all the thangs wifey didnt do no more. Also, I had a girlfriend who was cheating with a married man.
In either situation, I think both parties are at fault.
I’m happily married, but from time to time I have those friendly conversations at the club with women. I have to admit, that too many women are willing to deal with married men. Even though I don’t take it there, too many females are willing to be the side chick. Sad, but true…..
Xilla you know you crazy right? All I have to say about this is that everyone plays the fool sometimes…and personally, I think people should be clearer with their expectations for one another.
I think this all boils down to respect. If you respect yourself, you shouldn’t settle for a committed man. If you respect others you shouldn’t cheat on your significant other or consciously make yourself available to someone who is cheating on his/hers. In either case both parties are wrong. Plus, a person who continually excuses infidelity is not a victim, but an enabler. The true victims are the cheater’s unwitting partners and any children who may be exposed to a bad breakup or poor role models.
I’m a sidechick,and yeah my married guy says he won’t ever end it with me and he says he may leave his Wife someday but until then he says by sleeping with me I make him happy therefore it improves his marriage!!
@malika hmm, wonder why he doesnt just marry you instead then? Or not even that much, just leave his wife, so he can continue to live in this blissful realm of a life you create for him forever and ever… It’s called having game. By telling you how happy YOU make him gets to keep his wife, you, and whoever else.
Wow….proud to be a sidechick smdh….you should want more for yourself then to be the chick he sleeps with boo boo.
@blogreader when I first started seeing him he lied for the 1st year he was married!Now he knows if he leaves her I don’t want him,if he can lie and cheat like he does to her then he can and will too me..I see pics of him and his Wife,he looks miserable..she can keep him..when I see him I get this hot horny version of him,she gets boring house husband.
I’d never be proud to be any Mans sidechick,he tricked me,I fell in love,now I am trying to get out peacefully without felling the need to take revenge.
@Mlika
YOU ARE WRONG AND YOU KNOW YOU WRONG!!
What you are doing is not justifiable sweetie and you know that. You now know he is married. And he probably looks miserable from the stress of hiding your ass and possibly others. And what about how miserable you are making wis wife and kids. C I was right. U r gona hurt when you let em go. And more then likely you will experience hurt from other breakups too. A breakup is not the end of the world for you but that mans children may never recover from losing their family. Think about someone other than your selfish ass self.
@ Malika your backpeddling is less than impressive…
First it was “I make him happy therefore it improves his marriage!!”
Those exclamation marks translate into what looks an awful lot like pride in your “accomplishment” yet you claim “I’d never be proud to be any Mans sidechick”
NOW it’s “I am trying to get out peacefully without felling the need to take revenge.” o_O
Uhhhh? Take revenge for what ??? Ain’t nobody do shyt to you – you’re taking part in violating someone else’s marriage – you better hope his wife don’t find out and feel the need to take revenge on you
At least have the decency to be ashamed of yourself and stop
@Ms Wilkins & HeadMistress – I love both yall lol.. after I had read that response I was just like *exhale* whatever helps you sleep at night. Selfishness best describes it. Please take into consideration more than yourself and his loins.
I dont play side bitch never have never want I have to come first and be first priority, at least make me feel like I come first.
Where is the self respect for you female that aware these are married men and you are still messing with them. SMH.
All I can say is wow. Have you ever thought if you were how the receiving end of that. You should not be giving these married men the time or day. Just walk away nothing but trouble. I guessing low self-esteem for those that do.
I THINK MEN CHEAT BECAUSE THEY WIVES DON’T LOOK AS GOOD AS THEY USE 2 OR HER SEX GAME AINT ON POINT. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING 2 A MAN IS HOW FINE HIS WOMAN IS AND HOW THE SEX IS. LOOKS AND SEX IS ALMOST EVERYTHING 2 A DUDE WHETHER HE MARRIED OR NOT
@ MS. JAI
I look better than ever and my sex game ain’t never been in question but my ex husband cheated on me anyway. Are you saying it’s the wifes fault that a husband cheats? Where is the mans culpability? Also, besides all that a marriage should be deeper than the surface aspects that you described.
Guys are really smooth with hiding this shit. They sweet you off your feet and make you feel incredible. They lie and cheat to get what they want. I never thought that I would be the other girl, but I was for 2 years before I even knew about it and even after I knew about it I was too in love and smitten with him to do anything about it. But one too many lies did it to me and I kicked him on the curb. Sometimes it’s hard to bounce back from something like this. I can’t trust guys anymore cause I never know what is a truth and what is a lie.