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Should We Hold Back, During First Date Sex?
Posted in Rated Grown Up on 13. Dec, 2009
Photo by Sylly
Have you ever had first date sex? I’m willing to bet most of the readers of my site have. If not, maybe one day we’ll be lucky enough, to find ourselves engaged in some first date sex. There is one main question of first date sex that has puzzled me for some time. Should we put it on our lovers or just give them enough to have them come back for more?
Now most women like to hold out a couple of sessions before they display all of the freaky things they’ve learned over the years. Gradually showing off trick after trick building up to that one session where she does all the things she has seen in her porn collection. Let’s be real, ladies have a porn stash too.
Men on the other hand like to try to blow a woman’s back out from the door, but men hold back as well. Some men won’t eat out during first date sex, others won’t kiss and some men refuse to give foreplay. In any case something is held back.
Here is my issue, first impressions are everything, but you can’t really read your partner based on the idea that they are having sex on the first night. Your partner may be loose, or they just might be feeling your vibe. If your partner is a regular to first date sex then they won’t give a flying flick if you go all out on night one. If this is a once in a while first date sex occasion there will always be a thought in the back of your lover’s mind saying “Does this person do this to every one they meet while looking at the McDonald’s Value Menu?”
The world isn’t a safe place and sex is very dangerous, but so if driving, walking the street at night, fried foods and everything on said McDonald’s Value Menu. My point is that some people take risk, but if you’re going to jump out of the play shouldn’t you jump out of the plane at it’s highest peak? A Hip Hop motto is go hard or go home?
Do You Pull Out All The Stop During First Date Sex? Or Should You Wait Until The Two of You are More Comfortable with Each Other?
It depends on the guy.. I have to test him out 1st to see if he is worth fucking again! If he was wack bye boy don’t expect me to call again! If he was worth it I’ll show my freaky side the 2nd time I see him!
@MS YASS so it depends on the guy and how good he’s giving it to you. That makes sense. I’ve been there before. One of my cinderella’s it was the vibe you know.
yea i think that the guy should but the girl shouldnt double standard exists here…if a girl isnt wowd she wont be trying that again unless she really likes him…but a girl cant do everything because guys get bored easily and after you show every trick the first time he’ll be expecting something new the next time and not the same thing you did last time…
@Karmel yes men do get bored super easy, but at the same time… most men are fricking immature. I saw someone said first date sex don’t get a call back from him b/c it’s jumpoff… that’s dumb! First date sex simply means that a woman is about her business and she knows what she wants outta life. It means he can have good sex for a long time w/ this woman as well… if she’s gonna sleep with a man on day one she’ll sleep with him again on day 100.
I feel when it comes to respecting the body as your “temple” ESPECIALLY for women…it’s got to go deeper in wisdom. It’s a given fact: WOMEN CAN’T DO THE SAME THINGS THAT GUYS CAN DO. A guy can sleep with 4 women in one night, clean up and everyone can know about it, but a women does 1/2 the same and she’s a what? Oh, o-k. Thing is what respectful women sleeps with a man on the first date? I’ll go a step further, after 2 weeks?! You don’t KNOW anything about him, where he’s been or what not. There’s a saying, everything a MAN is going to tell you, he’s going to tell you in the first 18 hours (roughly). No more or less.Bottom line? NO@ first date sex! Really, not until marriage. If a women carries herself in a respectful way, whether the guy’s “down with her NO’s” or not…he WILL respect her, and move her. No sense in having a REP! These women are just too free, have had too many hands, and need to start sayin: Boo I don’t even KNOW you like that, huh? OK. Cause like Karmel said: After you done did everything and done got OLE to him, he’s ready to go without thought!
Cause if the relationship was based off of SEX that from the GET (Side eye) ummm, that;s to mess. Can’t you “get” that anywhere (so to speak). If people would LEARN to just get to know a person, beyond their images, the drama of MOST relationships wouldn’t occur. I always present myself like I want to be treated. ALl that compromising shit, dont work for me. Imma have to visit y’all mo over her
It depends on how long have you known this person before the first date – you can have a first date with someone you just met or with someone you’ve known for years. Also when it comes to oral are you gonna use protection – the sad nasty fact is that most people don’t use protection AT ALL, EVER for oral
Personally there’s no way your dick is goin in my mouth if we’re not in an exclusive relationship and I don’t want no random n*gga tryna eat, I love it but I don’t need it that bad.
I just can’t imagine having first date sex. I know quite a few chicks who do that and even if they start a relationship with the guy the guy ends up leaving them for someone else b/c they’re bored yet they return when they get bored with the new one and repeat the cycle.
Women judge each other WAY more than men judge us. If I don’t do things the way you do that doesn’t make me a whore.
so this entry was too good to not leave my opinion. WELL to be honest i have never had first date sex(the reason being relative to the domestication entry funny enough) BUT! if i were to share my body with you then there must be a liking of some sort…sometimes unfortunately it can be hightened by external stimulit (ie:drugs/alcohol/foreplay/timing)in this case if it were completley unbearable to “hold out” i would chalk it up to just “getting my nut”, i wouldn’t call or ask to ever see that person again b/c then I’d be at the mercy of someone who most likely wouldn’t appreciate what it is that i can offer(not by their own fault,respect is earned not given). I honestly truly deep down inside believe that if a man gets to sleep with a woman on the first date he will place her in a room with a glass ceiling and no matter how great she is behind closed doors or out in the open she will never gain that man’s full trust or respect. AND if she did end up in a relationship of any sort there would always be some form of doubt in his mind about what he’s really gotten himself into. At the end of the day it can be said that men are the most impressionable creatures on this earth who can be swayed by any and everything that stimulates the senses so everything counts and is fair game…..make your mistakes wisely.
First date sex hmmm! I don’t think we should live life by a book. I think there is always going to be somone that judges and critics you because of what you do. But first dat sex exudes a special confidence. You should be confident in the decision that you make. If the sparks are there and things are vibing that way I don’t see why not go there . Specially if the chemistry is there! But if you play , play safe! Nothing is wrong with playing but it must be sex. You don’t have a to show all your tricks but make sure you have a good time. Keep him coming back for more. And to be honest you don’t have to give it all to him, leave a little for him to come back .
I am tired of the book thing , men can do it and women can’t . Carry yourself in a respectable, manner and who cares. If you respect yourself he will respect you. YOu can respect yourself and be freaky .
But be safe!
@ chockyss :
I am tired of the book thing , men can do it and women can’t . Carry yourself in a respectable, manner and who cares. If you respect yourself he will respect you. YOu can respect yourself and be freaky .
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You tired of that? Oh Ok. Well, I’m tired of “Lady in the streets, freak in the streets” series. When did a FREAK & Lady even have a conversation to BE on the same team? Never gonna happen. Ladies are just THAT, ladies. Without compromise THEY attaches Gentlemen. Freaks are FREAKS without obvious compromise…THEY attach dogs. Your comment is like EX: She’s an “Anika Noni Rose” by day and Amber Rose by night. That shit will NEVER add nor equal that……………
I don’t have any rules for first date sex; I operate strickly on instinct. If I’m feeling you (and I’m not in the middle of an abstinence period) we’re going to be naked til sun up- plain and simple.
And why would I perform below standards, ever? That’s just a waste of a good condom. I always bring my A game, otherwise there’s no point.
i will never have sex on the first date point blank period.
I’m with the Jaded NY’er, all the way. I just simply don’t give a damn about what other people think; if I’m vibing with you that way, then yeah, I’ma fuck you, and then I’m going to pull out all the stops. If you decide to treat me like a jump-off after that, then your loss; you weren’t really feelin’ me like THAT from the get-go. My current boyfriend and I had sex on our first date, and yes, we are still together, and he pulled out all the stops with me, as well. Ain’t no shame in my game.
Times are very different. Sex has change completely. It use to be where you have sex with that person the first night, they will not contact you again. You are now labeled as an whore. Now, you have sex the same night, you might not get rid of that person, especially if you really put it on that person!
I never understood the point of “holding back” during sex, be it on the first date or the 20th. If you’re holding back… it’s not good sex and if it’s not good sex… what’s the point?
You know what? I am tired of people saying oh you must be loose or a whore, or a hoe. This is not the case, most women just want to have fun, I’ve met a dude and got his number from the club and we hooked up the next day, trust and dude was txting and calling me back to back, I put no effort into that and yes, we spoke about relationships and all. See, you gotta listen to clues and see where thier head is at before you put out. What a woman does is her business and if he was so worried about it then what does that make him? Like for a fact I know I could not take him seriously because he said he ain’t looking for a relationship, so if dude catches feelings I’ll be like rewind boo what did you say when you first met me? All you know is use protection and be wise of your decision people don’t make decisions for you, you do. And if people dpn’t know your business there is nothing to talk about.
omgosh i loveeeeeeeeeeee tha layout…reminds me of othere sites ive visited but yours is muchhhh better.. lol@ 17 people moaning instead if 17 comments..thats cute
I say wait. From experiences, it seems more interesting when you wait. It’s almost like flirting for a very long time.
Something I have been using is binaural beats – these sounds are amazing and can help you achieve more energy – better focus – more relaxed and for a good nights sleep.
1st date sex is just that. Just like you wouldnt tell a dude you love em on the 1st date y would you open up your whole bag of tricks? now it doesnt mean it cant be Good sex just because you dont do eh thang you wana do. It could be betta actually when you fuckin n ur mind is thinkin bout all the things you will do to and 4 this brotha LATA when you know he is worthy. N yall brothas just THIRSTY when you posting fuck that dont hold back sistas WHA WHA WHA. Yall just want it all eh time ya drop ya drawls. DONT FALL 4 DAT SHIT LADIES. And Yes MS Wilkins can post intellectual and GUTTA. LOL
I say hold back for sure. Gotta give em something to look forward to.
I think regardless of the situation if its the first time yall are haveing sex, weather it be the first date or somebody youve been dating for awhile, GIVE IT YOUR ALL. I know as a woman I want a man who can please me and to be honest if hes tryna do some freaky ish then im like hmmmm, lemme show him how i can keep up! And you know after that she/he would be back for more, I know I would.
Does this person do this to every one they meet while looking at the McDonald’s Value Menu?”
Ms Wilkins I agree!
Thats the question that would be on my mind if I were a guy. My question is what if you are going o a series of dates here and there, are you expected to open up and spread them? I think that sex is so dangerous these days. Yea you can get hit by a car, you might just flat out die, or you might live…but those are random acts.
STD’s are in no way shape or form to be compared to a car accident, because at the end of the day, you willing open up your body to someone you barely knew, or took the time to see what his sexual health status is, so then its on you if you were to put yourself at risk.
I personally don’t put out on the first date. I think that men already have this notion that if I spend some time with you, and want to eat which you will do regardless, that you have to open it up and give in. I say no, which is why if I do go out, i bring my own money, and propose that we go dutch. I don’t care, because I go out enough, and its something that I enjoy doing, but I’m not thinking about dude and his dick, and “how can i ever repay him for paying for this cheap ass dinner”.
But if your preference to put out, why bother giving them half of you if you gonna do it then do it all the way…I just was raised that you get that person tested first and foremost.
IGHT YA SAY IF THE GUY SEX WAS WACK U DNT CALL BACK BUT DO U THINK TO UR SELF ARE U DOIN UR PART….MEANING GURLS COULD BE BAD TO IT NOT ALL BOUT THE DUDE IT REALLY ABOUT THE FEMALES IF SHE CANT THROW IT BACK AT YA OR RIDE IT RIGHT THE SEX WILL BE WACK
Women who have first date sex are not skanks. That is such an archaic view of women! Not too mention very judgemental! Now if a woman was having sex with every man she met, his friends, and whoever else every week, I’d be worried for her…
I have had first date sex a few times and have plenty of respect for myself. I hate that when women want to just be free to sexually explore we somehow have lost ‘respect’ for ourselves. It’s all about how you carry yourself and I truly believe perspective is key… and dignity. Nobody’s going around saying Tiger has no ‘respect for himself.’ PLEASE!
When I feel a certain connection with someone I don’t hold back. I will same something for later, but why not just protect yourself and go with it. You have to find someone who has the same view of sex and sexuality as you do. Men I have been with have had a very open and non-judgemental view on women who have sex “early” in the relationship.
I’ve learned it does NOT matter if you know someone or not!! You can know someone for 20 years and they will still betray you and do something you never thought they’d do, or LIE to you about VIP things…
The women I’m eit now. I ate her box out on the first date. We talked a couple times on the phone before going out so I knew a little about her. Then when we went out the connection was there everything. And after I did that she wanted more. The next day I gave her the business. Now we are happily in love and the sex is amazing. Thank you jesus.
The love below……1st night or 32nd night either way you only know what you can gather intuitively or what has been voluntarily given to you to know. youre truly a freak if you do this as a hobby and fail to see how damaging it can be. If your aim is to go out and find someone you click with for a good exhilarating time, you succeed when you find someone wanting the same. every dude thats paid for ass has paid for what they wanted. i dont take a girl back to the rib unless she’s been primed for the pumpin. we can do the phone biz for a few, then go out once or hang out a bit ………but once its behind closed doors, she already is knowing what time it is. the ones i got on the 1st night, i kept around for the booty call—the ones that took me a long time turned out to be not so worth the wait. how bout that?
best reason to hold back :
Bre says:
December 14, 2009 at 4:33 am
Times are very different. Sex has change completely. It use to be where you have sex with that person the first night, they will not contact you again. You are now labeled as an whore. Now, you have sex the same night, you might not get rid of that person, especially if you really put it on that person!