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Women Have Been Domesticated Like Dogs… Men Too
Posted in Relationships on 11. Dec, 2009
Photo by G Paras
I love women more than I love the air I breathe, the food I eat, and all of the finest things in life. The idea that I hate women because I title my blogs with blatant generalizations is absurd. A good friend of mine said something to me that changed my life, he said treat a lady like a whore, and treat a whore like a lady. At the time it made so much sense to me that I actually changed the way I treated the women in my life. If I hooked up with a lady I treated her like the scum of the earth, if I dated a known slore, I treated her like a queen.
When I changed my ways I ended up in very long relationships with each women I decided to deal with. You see men love slores, for reasons I’ll explain in another blog, and men love ladies for a whole other set of reasons. Now I won’t get into those reasons today, but just understand that to most men this is a fact. It’s these reason why a man will cheat on his lady with an unworthy slore.
While I had this mixed up view on relationships, I learned something very crucial to who I am. I learned the ability to see things from different side of the equation. I understand why a man can cheat, and I understand why a man shouldn’t cheat. I leaned and respected decisions made by people who choose not to date a single parent, and I’ve learned these things are going to happen regardless of what I think about them, but when they happen I should be able to speak on them. Help out either situation if I have to, and that when I do it’s not being a hypocrite. It’s called being well versed in all things.
I’m not a guy who likes to play games, but the whole world have been conditioned and trained like dogs to be a certain way. You’re giving a name, told not to do this, don’t do that, Do this and then you’re rewarded when you do good. You’re punished when you do bad. When you think about it you realize we’ve been domesticated like animals to play these relationship games and fall in line with the social norm. We think, “Don’t call a girl the same day you get their number”, or “Never tell a guy you love him first, even if you do” All of these are games. Games we feel like we must play in order to be normal. How does it feel to know we have been domesticated like a dog?
I decided not to play any more games. I learned a lady should be worshipped, respected and appreciated. Often we make the wrong choices on how we treat people, or we choose to play the wrong game with people. Then we are left looking back like I should have went at this person totally differently. Maybe I should have just took her to Applebees instead of Che’ Whitey for $70 a plate. Maybe we should have decided not to order the most expensive thing on the menu. We should just be ourselves. We shouldn’t worry about playing any sort of games.
Now if we allow ourselves to be real with ourselves we should understand that you can’t treat everyone the same. To generalize anything or anyone is totally wrong. Because we are all different, and the best we can do is hope that we read a person the right way and behave accordingly. My point to my blog the other day wasn’t to call women the scum of the Earth but rather to simply say, woman shouldn’t rule out dating a man simply because he has kids. Most of the time their reasons for not doing so are selfish, insecure and petty. I love my kids too much, to allow them to be an excuse to a woman who won’t date me. If I think she’s the scum of the Earth for doing so, then maybe it’s how I can move on from losing someone never took the time to give me a chance.
Well put. “Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids!” Adults shouldnt play games. You should grow the F#k up; come here let me coach you (c) Jay Z
Awww man! c'mere, let me buy you a drank and give you a big hug!
Blogxilla,
What's the back story?
Tell us about your experience “losing someone [who] never took the time to give me a chance.” It'll be therapeutic for you to share your experience. No use bottling it up.
It sounds like you are ready to be taken seriously in the context of a committed relationship. Instead of seeking out new women, why not backtrack to one of the mothers of your children? (I'm assuming that they are ladies — not whores or slores.)
Interesting b/c I once had a man tell me that men NEEDED to train women so they'd be the way they use to be back in the day (cooking, cleaning, waiting on a man hand and foot). I never found the other blog offensive, but I guess if you're the type of woman who wouldn't date a man with kids it probably did hit a spot.
I have no interest in training a woman. If you don't know what to do or how to do it,perhaps you should go out and get more experience and then we can discuss it.
By the same token i'll not sit still for a training session from any woman. If theres something i don't know about i can certainly find out. We are suppose to be adults. That way we can train our children.
Very good breakdown.
Great Point! I always read your blog cause I'm always interested in your perception on things. However, why degrade those women, who choose not to give a guy the time of day b/c he has children? Granted I understand its a messed up preference, but people, in general, are full a messed up preferences. Why respond to it??
Also I don't think we are domesticated as much as we a scared. Scared to get hurt or screwed over. So we play these games just so we have an upperhand, although in reality we're just cheating ourselves from experiencing raw emotions + feelings=true love
just a thought, great blog!
It's funny you say this because my favorite movie is “To can play that game”. And I honestly started believing that shit too. But yes, I truly do feel like we're domesticated and made to follows these ridiculous rules just so we don't look like a fool in front the person that could be a potential for you. Alot of people are putting up a front because you surely don't want to get hurt, so the question is can you ever really be yourself?
You should never be allowed to use the words “selfish, insecure and petty” again for your base of reasoning. So now anytime a woman doesn't want to deal with you for whatever reason it may be, these 3 words will be thrown at her? Understandable that you are entitled to your opinions and feelings, but honestly grow up!
As with my everyday life, when dealing with men, I make my own “rules” and set my “game” up the way I want it. I don’t go by the norm, I think too freely for that. If a guy and I exchange numbers and I’m thinking about him, instead of sitting up and waiting for him to call me…I’ll take the initiative and call him. 6 month or so rules for sex? Naah, not my steez. If we’re both ready, let’s get it! Men with children? Cool with me. But at my age, I’d prefer not to because I’m young and don’t want that yet. But if me and the guy REALLY click, I’m down as long as he makes time for me as well as his children. Great blog, Xilla! Both men and women should start thinking for themselves and be happy about it instead of resorting to “what’s normal” and being unsatisfied!
Good job Xilla! Now this here is a grown man and woman blog. I totally agree everything you wrote.
Thats a long ass excuse for your bad behavior. Since I was a girl if I liked a boy I told him. I never hold back on my feelings. Sometimes I get hurt. So be it. Thats on the man not on me. And when Im hurt god takes care of my heart. Ive never played games and when I feel sum1 is wasting my time I bounce. Its their loss. People should treat others like they want to be treated. In life and in love. If they would alot of relationship drama would be squashed and we as a people could get back to loving each other the way our Maker intended. Im glad you love your children. Would you want your little girl to be treated like a whore? Im just sayin.And brothas if you happen to be dating whores what does that say about you? Further more some whores are dying to turn it around. Why not be the brotha who does that for them. Most of these women have been so trampled on that the have a I dont give a fuck attitude when deep down they just dont feel worthy. Tell em that they are worthy and you dont want them to hurt anymore. That you have their back. Stick to that and when it ends be honest and make sure their ok before you move on. We owe that to eachother.Lastly if a woman wont date you because you have kids then be glad she told you. It makes no difference to me if a man has kids or not. I find it an opprotunity to show them what a woman acts and looks like just in case their daddy has been takin them around unsuitable partners. And when a relatiionship ends I let the child know Im just TT is just a phone call away and I will always be their #1 fan. I dont try to be their mamas but its hard on these children when it doesnt work out with their parents. They desreve a constant. Its my pleasure to be that for them. and I have had no problems with thier mothers or fathers with my doing that. Shit sun of em love that they have an extra sitter LOL. And b4 any women go in on me. Yes I have a man, a job, kids and Im HAPPY AS HELL!!!!!!!
I DON’T AGREE WITH THE WHOLE THING YOU SAID ABOUT WOMEN TURNING MEN DOWN FOR HAVING KIDS, BUT I PERFER NOT TO DATE MEN WITH KIDS BECAUSE OF THEIR MOTHERS AND HOW THE MEN DON’T PUT THEM IN THEIR PLACE AS A BABY MOTHER AND MEN NEED TO LET THEM KNOW THAT THEY SHOULDNT GET INVOLVED IN THEIR CURRENT RELATIONSHIPS. THAT’S WHY I PERSONALLY DON’T GET INVOLVED WITH MEN WITH KIDS AND I HATE DRAMA CAN’T STAND IT….NOW ON THE OTHER HAND IF YOU DON’T LET BABY MOMMA KNOW WHAT UP THEN IT WOULDN’T BE A PROBLEM I JUST PERFER MEN WITHOUT KIDS NOT SAYING THAT I WON’T DATE THEM. I WAS ENGAGED TO SOMEONE AND THEY HAD A BABY MOMMA THAT WAS PREGNANT AT THE TIME AND SHE WAS CALLING ALL TIMES AT THE NIGHT AND TRYING TO TELL HIM WHAT TO DO AND IF HE DIDNT DO IT HE WASNT GOING TO SEE HIS SON AND I WENT THOUGH IT FOR ABOUT YEAR AND HALF UNTIL WE FINALLY CALLED IT QUITS IT WAS JUST DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA…..
damn good advice and sharing,I will buy one nice apple for me .thanks,Joe