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You’re Not A Big Booty Freak, But That’s Why I Love You
Posted in Relationships on 03. Dec, 2009
Photo by Derrick Clegg
This morning I had a nice conversation with my friend Necole about love. She explained to me how a guy who kept asking her why is she with him, wore her down and left her emotionally drained. This guy felt like she was too good for him, or he wasn’t her type. She explained to me that she loved him for everything he was not.
All too often we think that we need to be the best dresser, or have the biggest butt to find, obtain and keep love, all the while forgetting that most of the time we love our mates for everything they are not. Love in a complex emotion, as a man I love light skinned women, but all of my baby momma’s are dark. All my girlfriends except for one were dark too. These are women I love with all of my heart. One of the reasons they meant so much to me was because they weren’t the stereotypical light skinned chicks.
Now despite what you may believe love is not blind, but instead it blinds us. A study was performed where they showed pictures of faces on a computer screen to a bunch of single people. This study found that people had a hard time shifting their focus away from attractive people. Then they ran this same test with married couples
Subjects who were married or living together monogamously and asked half of them to write about feelings of love for their partner and the other half to write about a happy experience. Those who wrote about love actually turned their attention away from attractive members of the opposite sex even more quickly than they looked away from average-looking people. SOURCE
When we’re in love, true love, we don’t care about type, looks, or anything else for that matter. All we care about is the fact that our boo is our boo. We just simply want to be with them, love and appreciate them. We realize that we love them for who they are and who they are not. We love someone because they are not our ex, or because they are not the jerks, bitches or any of that other stuff. Regardless of what someone may think our type might be. We love whom we want to love.
What makes you fall in love with someone?
Xilla
I fall in love with a guy that can carry on a conversation with me and is not boring, I love a guy that can make me laugh, and we always have fun together, also a guy that is stable financially and can take care of his business with or with out me. I have a thing for jamacain dreads but you will never find me in a relationship with one because I can't take them seriously. Yea, but my type is a big bone guy with a sense of humor.
LMAO I feel you those Dreads are a trip. PAUSE! Isn't love a weird thing?
It most definitely is, but sometimes you just have to follow your heart and see where it leads you. I'm more of a risk taker not saying I give all guys a chance, but sometimes you can peep game and a truly good vibe from someone.
I have a “type”…i LOVE basketball players, TALL ONES, but my boo is MAYBE 6'1″ & I love him…he's not buff & all tip top shape like a basketball player, BUT he's slim, I mean SLIM and I LOVE his body just like it is.
If a man treats me right, which he does, and I'm happy and a smile stays on my face, which he makes sure of…then I KNOW I'm in Love!
hmmm, what makes me fall in love…
I suppose someone who appreciates my mind more than my looks and can initiate the same from me has a good chance. He needs to be someone who complements me (and vice versa), is supportive, commands respect and above all else, make me laugh!
If you know him, give him my number!
I ❤ a man that stimulates me mentally as well as physically. OOhhweee a man that gives me a mental run4my$$ is like Gold. Ambition is better then Viagra to me but know when to make your lady feel like a top priority. Personality is key too cuz I've gone on dates w/ good looking guys who had Lil to NO personality. Physically I like em tall,dark,handsome well groomed. But I've dated guys who were 5'6 and I'm 6'0. I might compromise on height but never on Personality and Good Character
I agree…but totally off topic, is it me, or does the guy in the picture have an ashy ass elbow?
Isn't that a great ass feeling? To know that this person can teach you something and have amazing sex? It's an amazing turn on. I say all the time that a fat ass can only go so far. Oh yeah in the words of snoop dogg. He is I and I an him the blogger with the tilted brim… What's my name!!
To mr that's the beauty of life. Everything is a risk. No matter what you do it could be your last second on this earth. So this is why I don't understand hy people don't take more risk.
I love a man who appreciates who I am, which will allow me to be totally comfortable with him; a man who I can laugh with, share adventures, and have a great conversations about anything.
Although in my head, I have a specific type, but none of the men I've loved so far fitted the mold.
“One of the reasons they meant so much to me was because they weren’t the stereotypical light skinned chicks.” – what do you mean? how does complexion reflect on a persons character?
I fall in love with guys who understand me. A guy who i can take to a bar, and then take to dinner with my family. I feel like looks fade, but nobody wants to wake up to Chewbacca every morning. As far as looks I can't say that i'm too picky because I date inside and outside my races. As long as they have goals, and arent immature then I can fall in love…thats pretty broad, but I just can't get with anybody is simple minded.
I don't think that that statement is hard to understand… hence, the word “stereotypical”.
Obviously, a persons character is a completely different matter than their complexion…but common sense isn't usually applied when dealing with stereotypes.
oh okay i understand. just like the stereotype that american black women are ugly and loud mouthed.. gatcha.
Oh, how clever of you. /sarcasm
Yes, JUST like that.