Sleeping With Friends

Posted in Entertainment, Relationships, Sexual Intellectuals on Oct 18, 2009

Should friends of the opposite sex have sex and start relationships? Well actress Malinda Williams writes a blog for essence documenting her wedding and in her latest post she describes the moment she knew her former best friend and current husband was the one.

“what could be better than going with someone I absolutely adored. I had met Derrick when I was eighteen and had always remembered him to be a complete gentleman and felt none of the usual angst a woman might feel about going on a trip with a man who is not her “man” per se. We would just be two friends hanging out, having a good time. No pressure and no expectations. Just pure fun.”

This happens a lot, you’ve been friends since childhood, and then at a totally unsuspecting moment a light goes off in your head, and you realize you’re in love with your best friend. People often wonder if best friends can become lovers without ruining the friendships. I mean this is the person that knows you best, when your ex boyfriend cheated with his co-worker he was there. When your girlfriend started acting funny and started spending so much time in the streets that you thought she had a part time job as a street lamp, she was there. Not once had it cross your mind to look at them “like that” until that one moment they said exactly the right thing to cheer you up and its then, that you kick yourself in the rear for not loving them sooner.

You probably think as Malinda thought:

An attraction that made me think to myself, “Is he feeling me? Cause I think I might be feeling him.” I was also thinking, “I don’t wanna ruin this great friendship by starting anything with him so let me just chill”.

But let us as Sexual Intellectuals discuss if men and woman can be friends, and if you don’t want to join the discussion just think is your best friend of the opposite sex the person of your dreams? Or just made to be the perfect friend who’ll always be in your corner


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  • apsinkler
    Sometimes, when a friend seems too good to be true, we will ourselves to think that person would be a good fit as a sexual partner, if not lover. We'll take the risk of diving in deeper when that beautiful friend is simply supposed to be the cake you sample the frosting from and know what you would like in the future. It is very possible for friends of the opposite sex to be friends, appreciation is very important.
  • Lady Jei
    Friends don't let friends near the kitty kat.
  • TeeBaby
    I have had a sexual relationship w/ my best, and only, male friend for about 2 & a half yrs now. We have an understanding & no doubt the relationship is 4ever changed, as we now have a much deeper bond. However, we pretty much know that a relationship is risky because we know one another all too well & how we are. But we are honest with each other, so we remain very good friends. It all depends on the individuals.
  • riri808
    I totally feel you on this, I actually hooked up with my best friend and the sex was soooo..goood...but it's like we knew each other too well to even take it to the next level. So to tell you the truth me being in another realtionship and us knowing how far we went it just lingers in the air, and becomes an awkward moment. I haven't spoken to him in years now. And I truly wished that we never went there because now I truly miss him as my best friend.
  • I think it depends on the situation betweent two people. Depending on their expectations, then it might be able to work, but at the same time, a lot of ppl don't like to put the friendship at risk because it's more important that the physical aspect of things.
  • buttington09
    if you want to keep your best friend, you probably shouldn't sleep with them. 9 times out of 10 it won't result in marriage like the lucky couple above. it'll just end, with just the remains of a friendship standing like some roman ruins, tryna figure out what the f@%& happened! at least that's been my bitter experience lol
  • HeadMistress
    If you're just sleeping with the friend, yeah you run the risk of ruining the relationship... but not always, it can work if the expectations on both sides are the same

    If you are getting into a real commited relationship, then you can't ask for a better start because you are friends, there is trust and honesty already present in your relationship and most importantly you know their true self so you're not basing your future and feelings on something that their "representative" has shown you.
  • barbiebitch
    It definetly depends on the parties involved. My good friend and I started a sexual relationship. And to be honest nothing much has changed(yea we thought why didn't we do this sooner) you have to learn to separate LUST from LOVE. We still hang out, we still joke on each other and I even give him relationship advice. The only thing different is that when I'm horny with no boyfriend. I call him, no arguments, no where you been's, and why haven't you called? And after he blows my back out, we watch Sportscenter.
  • ItHappens
    My best friend and I acted on our attraction years ago...and it eventually developed into love. Rare story, but it happens. However, there will be awkward moments along the road for anyone considering the journey...lol
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