Love 2010: “I Love You, But I’m Not In Love With You”
Photo of ADELINA KRISTINA by Azzara
Does love mean anything anymore? Malik had to ask hisself this question numerous times, after leaving a hotel room, only to return home to his girl, baby mother and love of his life. Sure he stepped out for some easy booty, but Malik knows his heart truly belongs to the woman he’s going home to, but the double life is killing him. Another random girl who gave it up quick, after a few drinks and amazing conversation.
Meanwhile Malik’s wife Kesha is at home, taking care of the kids, cooking hot meals and she knows she’s w/ the best man she ever had. She understands that her man may have dipped for one night, but he’s coming home. She may of had her man once but she’s got him all the time. Love means too much to her to let a trick come between her and her man. She knows she got all of his love, and that the man who is walking through the door from another night of overtime to support his family, loves her with all of his heart.
I am reminded of the song He’s Mine by MoKenStef a 90’s girl group who had a smash hit which pretty much okayed cheating. Fast Forward to today, where in the age of a black president we live in a world of cut buddies and jump offs. No more paper work or titles are needed for sex. Instead it’s an agreement that we are seeing other people, don’t question me, because I don’t want to be bothered, don’t expect too much from me because all you’ll get is sex and maybe an occasional date or two.
Surely the logic is a bit sexist but it’s coming from the women. I have met numerous women who have said they aren’t looking for a relationship, only friendships and maybe if he is not a total jerk he can get some benefits. But, who is really getting the benefits? I know when I have sex my mission is to make a woman squirt, cum, pull sheets off the bed and leave her walking funny for a few days after. I know when its time to do the do things are going to happen and I’m not going to be the only one at the top of the mountain, smoking a newport as we stare at each other saying “I’m too tired to go get you something to drink” laugh and do it again, until we wake up in the morning not remembering how we fell asleep. Been there huh? lol
Yet even more so these days things get a bit too complicated and you’ll have a beneficial friendship that will go on for months and even years. Take Cam for instance. He’s been having sex with the same woman for 2 years already. This woman is not his girlfriend, just his friend w/ benefits. He feels like she’s the only woman who ever understood him. He feels comfortable around her, and it got to the point where he told her those 3 words. I love you.
But, there is a catch after the most coveted 3 words in every relationship he hit her w/ “but, i’m not in love w/ you” A female friend of mine called me to tell ask me what does that mean. I mentioned he is probably scared of what she would say and it’s probably just to protect him from whatever it is she would say. Women nowadays are more like men and most of the ladies here know they should never say the L word first. Well maybe us men are feeling the same.
Does love even matter anymore? How can you love someone and not be in love with them? Do you have any friends w/ Benefits? What are the details of that beneficial friendship?
