Is The Ugly Duckling Turning Me Out? By Marvelous Mo

WRITTEN BY MARVELOUS MO FOR BLOGXILLA.COM

For my entire adult life, I’ve been upset at the men who have broken my heart. Those fine sexy men that jealous women hated me for dating. Those men that are handsome and popular, well liked and sexy. The ones who didn’t like me enough to stay with me. That flaw of mine, of ours [women], is one of the things that doesn’t help us move on and find someone new.

I always wanted someone to talk to in an honest way about life and love, family and careers with. I always wanted to be around someone I wouldn’t feel ashamed around if I didn’t wear make-up for once. Even if he would take the opportunity if it presented itself to indulge in some adult fun, it wasn’t his main agenda when spending time with me. Just someone to be my friend with hand holding and a few instances of affection [kisses on the cheek] along the way.

I recently discovered that, but I discovered it in someone I didn’t look twice at when we first met.

Solely relying on the physical to find a connection with someone is obviously the lamest thing to do, but when emotionally involved it’s hard to identify your dumb ass mistakes until someone, or yourself, holds a mirror to your face. Out of all the men who have solely been physically attracted to me and thought I’d be interesting to date because of it, this guy [Let's call him James] was probably the only one who identified with me.

Imagine someone you barely paid attention to letting you know in private WHY they dug you for who you are, even for the things YOU feel are major flaws? Imagine if all those times you discussed with people the most humanizing way you’d LOVE to be talked to if someone were to approach you to get to know you or have your number (like a scene in a movie) actually came to life? Would you pay attention then?

As women, I feel we fail to recognize a good thing when its under our noses. It may not be perfect, but it may be what you’re looking for when you’re considering what you need in a connection with someone. For instance: James may not be physically what I normally go for, but this guy stimulates my mind in a lot of ways and I appreciate every minute of it. Every minute we talk, I talk to a friend and not someone trying to smash. I have become very attracted to him as we strike more topics and forfeit confidential experiences with each other…experiences that automatically come with a threat if it were ever told to another person.

Please understand that I’m not talking about settling for someone less. There’s a huge difference between settling and getting realistic. After talking with James and really looking at my life, I can admit that I may have been unrealistic about my expectations in what I look for in a guy.

Every woman has a “James” out there but it’s simply up to you to recognize a good thing while it’s there. So tell me, are you the woman whose mind is in Lala Land that dates the shallow guys who physically are a dime piece or are a woman who is willing to open up to a good thing when it’s in your face?

Thanks James.