Dear Lindsay Lohan – I Don’t Want Any Ugly Kids
Dear Lindsay Lohan,
Hey Lindsay, it’s been a while since my last letter, but that because I’ve been running around and working like a mad man. Anyway I wanted to ask you, How would you feel if your child was ugly? I know that might be a bit shallow, but I don’t want any ugly kids. I’m not going to front, i might not be able to love that child like I love my other kids. I’m sure you’ve seen your fair share of ugly children with your work w/ Disney. You can’t really tell a parent their kid is ugly, but in the back of your mind… Aren’t you like, damn this kid better be smart or rich because it looks like something I seen that weird guy eat on the Discovery Channel. Lock this creature up and throw away the key.
You see, I want a son bad, but I don’t want my son to be ugly. He’ll never get laid if he’s ugly unless he is willing to pay for it, or has a lot of money. Ugly people get mistreated, misuse and abused. I know what I’m saying is a bit harsh, but c’mon doesn’t everyone like talking about ugly kids? How many times have you laughed at someone talking about a baby w/ a lopsided head or an unusually big nose? Many, but we play it off by saying that’s not funny, while wiping tears out of our eyes because we know it’s true.
A while back my home boy took home this chick w/ a phatty, but her face look like she was in a MMA match w/ a jack hammer. Long story short, he wrote that off as an easy drunk lay, that is of course until the condom popped and he got a call saying she was knocked up. He went through the motions, but she was very adamant in keeping the baby. He wanted to resort to plan B, and push the monster down the stairs, but finally he gave in and now I clown him about his kid all the time. The boy looks like Flavor Flav’s pinky toe.
I mean looking at the bigger picture, I can understand how men don’t want to have kids, you never know how this child is going to turn out. What if the baby is not only ugly, but stupid too. Nothing is worst than a ugly child and a stupid child at that. I’ve heard of stories where men have came up with wild excuses to get out of having a child. It’s not always about ducking the responsibility of being a parent sometimes it’s for a lot simpler reasons than not wanting to pay child support.
Sometimes it’s just that he doesn’t want to be bothered with the chick, other times is because her family is chronically screwed up. A person’s genes are very important and many times a banging body can make us look pass that. Anyway I won’t keep you Lindsay I know you’re very busy.
Have you ever cracked jokes on ugly kids, do you fear you’ll have ugly children and if you did what would you do? Until next time.
YOUR PARTICIPATION IS REQUIRED
Signed Your Biggest Fan Of Color
Xilla The Sexual Intellectual
