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Can Too Many Lonely Nights Make You Crazy?
Posted in Relationships on 28. Aug, 2009
Are you tired of your significant other not showing you enough attention? Have you ever had a lover who pushed you to the side one too many times? Or have you ever thought the person you were with was cheating on you? Well check this out.
Tasha was in the house cleaning up and listening to the radio when she heard a song which reminder her of her boo. She decided to give him a call to let him know she was thinking about him and maybe call him over and make it a blockbuster night. She turned the radio down, picked up her blackberry bold and called her boo. No one picked up. Maybe he was busy so she shot him a text message and went back to cleaning. A little sad, sort of angry and very upset this was the final straw and caused her to start to believe her man was cheating on her.
He called back a few hours later and told her he left his phone in the car. Tasha didn’t believe him, but she accepted his excuse and invited him over. He said he was too tired and declined her invitation but promised they could kick it tomorrow at 8. Tomorrow finally came, and he showed up late smelling like pear scented lotion. She was furious, but as females do she gave him the silent, short answer treatment, but as the night went on she couldn’t resist his baby brown eyes, muscular body and urban swag. So she gave in and the two of them had amazing sex that night.
She rode it, threw it back from the back, begged him to grab her hair and smack her a$$ and even asked him to… Long story short she put him to bed.
Later that night, she woke up to use the bathroom, and grab a drink since his snoring woke her up. While on her way into the kitchen she noticed his cell phone was laying on the table. She looked at the screen and noticed he had 14 missed calls. Most of them from a number labeled Chinese food. She wanted to ignore it, and just pour some juice and go back to bed, but then a text came through. It was a picture message. Tasha couldn’t resist, she picked up his phone and saw Chinese food was a actually a chick who had a better body than her, a little prettier than her and to make matters worse this chick was naked playing with herself saying she missed her man. Tasha’s man, their man. The one in Tasha’s bed snoring so loud it woke her in the middle of the night.
Tasha looked back at the room, looked at the phone, looked at her glass, then looked at the gourmet knife rack sitting on her counter. She was pissed.
A while back I wrote a blog called don’t check his phone you won’t like what you see. While the above scenario is a bit extreme it does happen. Our curiosity causes us to snoop for stuff we don’t want to find. And when we do we hurl our self in to a world of heartache anger and rage. All over some no good sex partner who shared too much. So with that i ask: Would you check your mates phone if you thought they were cheating on you?
Photo Credit © August Bradley
I would check his phone b/c I would rather know he was cheating on me than to stay with him. Thats just me…
Hmmm… from a guy's perspective: Nah, I ain't checkin phones. My instincts are pretty good, if I think there's cheating goin on, it probably is. Can't front and say I haven't been tempted, cuz i have. But I can find more creative, less invasive ways to catch a cheater.
You don't think thats a violation of privacy? Would you at least confront him first or just check it and spazz out on him? Lol
Do you think its Bitchassness for a guy to check a woman's phone?
It is a bit of a violation but hey if you have the nerve to step out F all that! LOL That would not be my first move though…I would confront him on it first. I am a pretty straight forward person and when I have a question I ask it no matter how uncomfortable it might make him feel. If you have been with someone for a while they seem to have a tell when they lie. I'm very observant so I might be able to tell just from that if he is being truthful or not. If I still had doubts my next move would be seriously observe his behavior and then as a last resort check the phone.
Nope. Trust is Trust and if you don't have it, keep it moving. I have never done it, but I can't say I never will.. cause that's when it does tend to happen. I just can't fathom why people go looking for dirt to hurt themselves. I've always told my home girls..don't check the email, phone for numbers and text etc, cause what do u do with that information anyway?. A lot of females/males look but aren't ready to deal with what exactly the information means. Most will stay, some will go. Forgive and forget, or simply stay with the person and throw that sh*t back in their face every damn day.
Shit, text has to be the worse invention ever made LOL. It's so easy to misinterpret Text Messages. Of course if the text is on some “come F*ck me” then yeah your mate is cheating..But I have seen people go off the wall at some real innocent sh*t sent through text.
Picture Messages is right along with that. Do you know how many people have received pictures by accident to the wrong person or maybe even the wrong #
Any who if that was me. I'd kick him out and before he leaves I'd piss in his shoes.
Not if he's in love with her and this is a SERIOUS situation. Love will have u doin some shit u never thought u would.
On the flipside, if y'all met at the club and just had a few bang sessions, checking her phone is pure BITCHASSNESS
I have checked the phone before and found something I didn't like. However, I think it's easy to blow something out of proportion that may have a logical explanation. If I think something is going on then it seems like everything I see in his phone could be looked at as suspect. It's a touchy situation but I always talk about what I'm feeling before I go snooping!
Being Observant is key, you can feel or sense a change in the way things work… so you should be able to tell, but the problem is we all lie so much even other the smallest things. and most times it's not lying persay just not telling the whole truth. lol
Ladies,
Respectfully, we'll leave that phone-check shit to y'all. I'm not leaving something like cheating up in the air with the chance of drawing the wrong conclusions from something in a phone. Guys think a bit more practical and a lot less emotional in most cases. I'd rather ask you straight up or catch you in the act. I got real eyes that realize real lies…
but if u just going through it to see if she got naked pics on her phone… and stumble across some other shit… lol nah i'm kidding… well no i'm not I ask to see their pics from day one. I want to see if she's going to send me naked pics! Jump offs and future wifey! lol
exactly, if you don't have a strong enough connection to that person that you can FEEL when things change, is it even serious enough for cheating to matter?
I've sent accidental dick pics to women on purpose before… oops my bad. lol but imma show off. i feel you i wouldn't check my girls phone or email… hurts to much. not so much as my heart as it does my ego… but at the same time people will downgrade from their boo to get some good sex… which leads me to believe it's nature.
Haaa!! Well it's one thing if u lookin for stuff like that, but it's another thing if you can't ask your lady straight up when you feel something has changed. If I ever happened to see something that made me wonder… that's another story.
Is it a logical explanation or a good ass cover up and excuse? That is something we must ask our self. I for one don't think the suspicion (SP?) goes away. Even if a person is forgiven. I think that in the back of a person's mind their boo has already slept with someone. Look at OJ he was cleared and people still think he killed his ex wife…
Instead of calling her chinese food.. he should have put mom or aunt something… lol
Right! you walk that line… an ex chick was on her myspace and I walked over and she started to hide the screen. Flags went up. I aint violate her but I asked her to show me and she wouldn't… Long story short… I had to show mine first and once i did she showed hers… didn't think i was smart enough to say yeah check the trash folder…. lol I did and found out she was a lying no good slut whore who sucks random dicks regularly. I'm glad I aint like kissing her.
So he could get off from having his mother send him naked pictures? Nah I can't have them too next to each other at all!! lol
I've checked my man's phone before because I felt something wasn't right. It wasn't because I thought he was cheating but I still felt something. When I finally checked it, I found out that his ex was trying to contact him although he told her he didn't want anything to do with her.
well I figure she wouldn't care about missed calls from “mom” or a picture message from “mom”
and what did you do with that information?. I mean even if his ex was hitting him up and he told her he wanted nothing to do with her..then he really didn't do anything in the wrong. So does that not make you a bit guilty for checking his phone? since the answer you might have been looking for was no where to be found?
just curious.
If I seen a picture message from mom..I would check it….wth is ur mom sending u pictures of ..DINNER? like “come on over and eat baby”
My story sounds the exact same as this one. Man always working or tired or left his phone or it was dead or on silent…one day he leaves his “sidekick on the nightstand..and I read…”
i saw the same thing. Nekkid pics of a girl w a better body than me (no she was NOT prettier..sorry). She too was sayin she missed her man…he had been seeing her for over a year and a half..she lived in CA, im in DC
I made some rules on my blog to let ladies know when to heed the warning signs.
I got back w said boyfriend and recently broke up when he exhibited the same pattern. Sorry but seeing my man once a week was NOT THE BUSINESS anymore given out history
was messed up is he says I MAKE HIM HATE WOMEN lmao..I never cheated on him NEVER
ah well…
would I check another man's phone..NOPE..if he aint giving me adequate attention im going to assume he is cheating and move on from his ass
I have never looked through anyones phone before and i have had chicks go through mine and i told them they might find something they dont wanna see. But i really think not that many people would admit to looking throught their partners phone and then ending up looking stupid like the guy at that office who keeps hitting the “reply all” button on all his email replies.
Question. How do you feel about your mate keeping naked pics of ex's etc on her phone, computer, or even real photographs( they still exist lol). AFTER you two are in a relationship?
AS A FEMALE. I AM DEF NOT CHECKING PHONES. IF YOU DONT TRUST HIM WHY BE WITH HIM. IF YOU HAVE TO CHECK YOUR MATES PHONE THEN OBV YOU DONT TRUST HIM AND YOU SHOULDNT BE WITH HIM. WHY STAY IN A RELATIONSHIP TO ALWAYS FEEL THAT YOU HAVE TO CHECK THERE PHONE.
NOT MY STYLE
lol… can you explain a moms actions…
I've got pics of food “I bet you miss this good cooking” and stupid chain pictures text msgs… and also pictures of family…
I never had a woman look in my phone anyways… thats crazy to me…
thats what I am saying…!
I've been guilty of this is the past, as well as having an ex who was notorious for that stuff.
I can't speak for anyone except myself, when I was young and dating in the beginning, I thought it was cute for jealous behavior to be exhibited; “Awww, he loves/wants me that much that he doesn't want to share me” WRONG!
Don't ask/snoop about something that you aren't ready to deal with, it all comes down to trust in the end. If you haven't thoroughly courted & dated the person that you are with then there leaves much to be desired and known. It's all about being comfortable in the skin that you were blessed with and knowing to a degree the person that you are in bed with.
I can honestly say that while there may be things about my SO that I do not know, I've been around and interacted enough to know his mannerisms, I think there are few people who don't act on an intuition that they have, but it's all about the way you go about things.
Yes, lonely nights can make you crazy if you've revolved your life solely around 1 person and if you've put too much trust into someone that you do not know fully. I'm like most of the women on this board, if I have a hunch, I am going to ask flat out, but I don't have time for insecurities in this present time, his nor mines.
It’s hilarious that men get mad when you snoop and find proof to support your intuition and you’re ready to leave. But when you’re on your way out the door based solely on your intuition they always wanna know what proof you have that they’ve done wrong and how you just gonna up and end things based on a feeling…
I don’t snoop anymore, I used to when I was very young. I’m glad I did it when I did it because it taught me how to distinguish intuition from insecurity. I snooped when I had strong feelings that something wasn’t right and when the feelings weren’t so strong. It turned out that I was always right in the first case and usually wrong in the latter. Once I learned the difference, I learned to trust my instincts and walk away without needing “proof”
People don't think that far in advance. lol They think imma find out if this b-word is cheating or not. Its like when kids eat too much candy or adults drink to much one more drink is always great until that hangover the next morning.
oh yeah how are you doing?
the ex who cheated on me started checking my phone..yes its bitchassness..I WASNT CHEATING ON HIM
i did i really didnt like what i saw…and i still stayed with him since it was still early in the relationship and he told me that they were friends…HA…come to find out that he was messing with a plethora of other females trying to get money from them to support us(we was living together) and brought them to our house while i am at work!!!! i know now to always check the phone if you have that good gut feeling something is wrong….
sure would
I snooped in a phone once out of sheer frustration. He wasn't my man, but he wanted me to believe I was the only one, but I couldn't shake that feeling ( I know, I know…I was young). He denied seeing other women which made me crazy.
I found nothing – he kept his phone clean. I had no proof, hated myself for snooping and was still stuck with that feeling.
In a word it was pointless. Also pointless: people who get the proof and do nothing with it.
This guy I been dating on and off for 3 years who I think Im in love with always goes through my phone. I got dumped plenty of times by my ex everytime he went through my phone…I didnt bother to explain myself. He always came back running to me. Recently I havent seen him in 2 months and he saw me downtown with one of my girlfriends. He didnt have my new number and asked to see my phone so he can save his number and on the spot he checked, rummaged through my text messages, which is so obvious on a blackberry.
I dont check phones because thats not me. The truth comes out. I let him spend the night a couple of days ago and he came to my house drunk as hell. We had ridiculous SEX and it was mind blowing. I took the opportunity of going through his phone, which i never ever intended to do, anyways I found out he got a baby and is in multiple relationships. I didnt care what time it was, I just laughed it off and told him he can leave at 6 in the morning and woke him up.
Who knows, maybe I deserved it because although I kept him around, I didnt see no future with him at all, my feelings grew onto him. My text messages were just a lot of guys greeting me in the morning, begging to take me out and blah blah blah. Not no actual relationship with anybody.
First off, since when does the Chinese call YOU…13 times! Lol the ish a man will put u through… ((scratching my head))
I would check (and have checked) because I'm nosy and I need confirmation to back up my suspicions before I just go off on someone. But chances are, if I'm all ready to go through a phone the relationship is already over… I just need a realer reason…
I understand that, but that's not thinking far in advance to me… That's just knowing who I bed… lol If you're showing me suspect signs from that get-go that you may be on some stalker ish or insecurity stuff, I'll cut it or address it right then and there…
Otherwise, you just can't help it if you have that good-good and it drives your SO to want to check up on it…
I'm good sunshine, glad the work-week is over. How about you?
your work week is over? Well thats good. 365 24/7 for me. lol love it though.
glad the weekend is here though.
yuuup you're right. some times we search for a reason, but once we find something we hold on a bit stronger… i know mad women like that. times where i slipped up and really wasn't into the relationship they found out and held on tighter…. sometimes getting caught can cause a man to clean up his act too.
You're so right. When someone wants to check your shit it's probably because they know they got shit in their phone! lol ha! nigga ran into you on the street and checked your phone Ha! You're a bawse though you let him see it himself. wild.
Not finding anything is a great feeling though…. lol
lol great comment might have even sparked another blog.
Haha, yeah you'd think. He admitted later that he was seeing other women (he was just neat about it) and I spazzed out on him for lying and then making me feel crazy about it.
Very Interesting comment
I show women the door for going through anything of mine, “phone, drawers, papers” those things don't concern you. I don't go through your shit, so don't go through mine.
It's an issue of respect. I respect your privacy, you respect mine. If you can't do that you gotta go.
Why the hell did she still fuck him once she felt like something was up? Ladies if you have a gut feeling just say something!!! Shit, and no man is worth going to jail for, you win some you lose some. If you can't trust your man, then there is no point in being with him. I would hate for a man to check my phone, and i don't need to check his, but if we together, and i suspect something imma speak up for myself, and not feel so sort of way, and still fuck him.
Yea, I agree, a man goes through my shit, thats an automatic out.