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Dear Lindsay Lohan “What Are Your Thoughts On Cheating?”
Posted in Dear Lindsay Lohan, Relationships on 18. Aug, 2009
Dear Lindsay Lohan,
Hi, My name is Xilla, and I’m your biggest fan. I decided to write you because well, frankly I think you’re awesome. I know you recently broke up with your girlfriend Sam. The paps stayed outside with you and watch you cry as your girlfriend showed up with another woman. That must of sucked. I recently wrote a blog about how to cheat and not get caught and people thought I was a cheater, but thats not true. I actually won’t cheat and will not cheat. I decided to write you and let you know why I don’t, and won’t cheat on a woman I’m with.
Now don’t take that as if I have never cheated because that is not the case, I have cheated before and I became so good that I know how to cheat, pretty much without getting caught. Also that is not to say that I haven’t been caught. Getting caught is the reason why I won’t cheat. You see I’m not the type of person that will sit here and MAKE BELIEVE like unmoral things don’t happen or exist. Just because someone thinks it’s wrong doesn’t mean an issue shouldn’t be talked about. The cheaters need a venue as well.
Lindsay, on my blog blogxilla.com one of my readers left a comment which read:
Different strokes different folks, what works for you may not work for me. We can agree that we disagree on this topic. We are shaped by our experiences. Growing up I watched a friends family fall apart because the father was unfaithful. I saw the hurt and was always there for her. That is why i will not do it. It does not appear to be fruitful and more times than not someone always gets hurt. I am not holier than though. I just refuse to disrespect the woman I am with, myself and the woman I would be cheating with. If that is what you do have at it. Also, It is not unnatural to be faithful. It requires self control. But again, we disagree and I can live with that.
Now while his comment makes a lot of sense, he sort of implies that I disrespect women, that the idea of being with more than one woman is somehow not natural. We live on a planet where women outnumber men, maybe that’s the reason why you like women huh Lindsay? Well I’ve cheated before, I had the perfect woman who just happened to come in the form of 3 different females. I was exclusive to them, no other women caught my eye other then them. Without telling the whole entire story, because the pain from the events that took place is still able to be felt. But as I watched the 3 women cry their hearts out I saw first hands the problem with lying about the things you do. The first hand effects of not telling the truth. Ironically this is also the reason why I don’t think cheating is entirely wrong, because when I tell a women up front that hey I intend to see other people 90% of them choose to stay around and continue to be with me.
So, Lindsay, I want to know if you think cheating is wrong, or is it just a matter of not telling the truth to a person and being upfront. Numerous women will be with a guy if she has the choice of knowing the things that go on, in regards to a relationship being open or not. If you’re having fun, being responsible and being respectful to a woman by telling the truth are they cool with seeing other people.
Your Biggest Fan Of Color
Xilla The Sexual Intellectual
Ok, so I am officially something-kinda-sortof hooked on this blog, I mean I've let the SO see it and he gives the thumbs up that this is on some of that good-good funny stuff.
Anyway, I grew up with 3 brothers and 1 sister and tons of male cousins and friends. I will say if there is any one thing that I learned from them about dating, it was about being upfront and honest at the beginning about your intentions with the person you're dating or messing with, it kind of goes back to the pimps who don't have to beat their women, it's about the gift of gab and simply being honest.
I have always maintained to let me know what I am getting into beforehand and if I decide to get it with it, when it hits the fan back into my face, I cannot and will not say anything because I CHOSE to get involved with that particular situation and I'll be damned if it didn't work when I applied it to my relationships.
I'll even grace ya'll with a personal situation; When I was just starting to date, I met this cutie pie who pretty much was balling, I knew it was too good to be true and in the end after the 2nd date that he was seeing a couple of other chicks, it was my decision to get involved. He warned me throughly that he had no intentions on settling down and simply put: Told me not to catch feelings, when I did about a month later; I couldn't dare even think about bringing him any drama because I CHOSE to mess with him.
So in closing, I agree with you that it's human nature to be curious about what the other person has when you've been with someone for awhile. It takes experience and growing to learn how to make things work and compromise. I see like this: As long as you're honest from the jump, it's on the other person, just make it a point not to disrespect someone intentionally based on your insecurities, for we all know that Karma… Well, she's that bitch in a red dress…..
You're right, now if you've been upfront and you're bringing other chicks around and talking to them when you're with one of the other chicks now that's just disrespect even if you told her, but if you handle it like a gentleman then it can go smoothly. I believe people choose to be with only one person. Hell I know i do. I only want to be with one person because i feel like it's more of a challenge and it's a greater and more rewarding feeling. I can't speak for anyone else but these are my ideals and my thoughts and well a lot of other people agree with me lol
and welcome to blogxilla tell your friends about the site and I'm hooked on your comments! lol
Ok…So i grew up with a father who cheated on my beautiful mother their whole 20 yrs of marriage, a grandfather who did the same thing to my beautiful grandmother… then i grew up and was with someone for 5 years and walked in on him in bed with a girl who looked not even close to as good as me. So i am very familiar with this situation! You would think, knowing how much it can hurt people i wouldnt cheat, but i did…in every relationship except my last one (for the most part). I now see that there is no point, and like you, i am just honest now, i am dating.. and thats that. The next relationship i get it, i plan to be older and i will not cheat. Until then i am just honest with the people i talk to, and no one gets hurt! And for the record.. i d believe cheating is human nature… there is sooo many people in the world.. and even if you are not fucking someone else..chances are in life you will find someone else who you will have feelings for who is not your significant other…now if you act on it or not is your own self control.. Jus a few thought from my head!
I firmly believe cheating is human nature. I do not believe people actually want to hurt other people and the fact that people cheat with lesser people than the one they have it's pretty much makes it clear that we cheat out of instinct.
It only makes sense. Right? But now when you look at the effects of cheating and how it hurts and changes a person it shouldn't be done, but again that's a matter of being honest and knowing when you're ready to commit and find love. We jump into things because we feel like that's what we should do, that's what the church tells us to do. But we are all sinners no man is without sin… none not one. not the pope not anyone. We are all fillled w/ sin. But if we apologize and repent for our sins… and try our best to be the best…. than well you get it.
@ “I don’t think cheating is entirely wrong, because when I tell a women up front that hey I intend to see other people 90% of them choose to stay around and continue to be with me.”
What you described is not cheating. Cheating has to do with dishonesty. If you're up front about seeing other people and the person is accepting of that, there is no problem – even if it turns out later that they really can't accept it, that's their problem.
I totally get your point about human nature and I'll even admit that monogamy might truly be against human nature but anyone who feels so strongly against commiting to one person should not have a problem making their beliefs clear to anyone they deal with and then “cheating” never comes into play. There's nothing natural or human about purposely deceiving and hurting someone we claim to love and have supposedly commited too
co-Sign!
Every emotion we feel is human nature, but can you distinguish which ones you should act upon?.. Yes. People look for excuses to justify their actions based on their experiences or someone elses. Lets be realistic, if you want to love and be with one person you can. Human Nature is to act on impulse right? But if you act on such things as Killing someone there is dire consequences that come along, cheating doesn't have the same effect. Some people just DON'T care about peoples feelings PERIOD, sad but it's the truth.
The problem us humans seem to face with cheating is putting ourselves into that predicament. Nobody just falls into p*ssy nor does anyone just accidently hop onto a d*ck. Their is many factors on how to keep yourself out of situations that lead to cheating. If you have a man/woman why are you taking numbers from other people your attracted to and it just might so happen to spark an interest?. Why are you visiting your ex's or going to your baby mothers house @ 2am? Why are u allowing some man/woman massage your shoulders @ work?. I mean a lot of it is COMMON SENSE.
Also when it comes to your relationship don't listen to your dumb ass friends and what they are doing and how their boyfriend/girlfriend treats them. People love to evaluate their relationships based on others, then use it as a tool to do their F*ckery.
People need to stop making damn excuses for why they cheat…when your mate ask you why you did it..just answer “because I wanted to.” LOL
Ya A blog from a moron.