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The Happy Ending: Stop Crying Over Facebook x Twitter
Posted in Relationships on 13. Aug, 2009
Picture Credit: Model: Jennifer Alisa
It seems like more women are crying over their man’s facebook status or comment. In today’s world, a flirtatious twitter message or comment can lead a woman to snap like Sara from Da Band. A new study even suggest that you may be caught in the facebook feedback loop. Don’t worry it’s not new at all, the only difference is now you can see the things your boo says.
“If your boyfriend is calling or texting another girl, you can’t really see it. But on Facebook, you can see it and so can everyone else, so in a way, you do get jealous because he might be hanging his dirty laundry, and not only are you seeing it, but other people are, too.”
Colin Booth of West Virginia University said he is not the jealous type, but finds it a strange, modern phenomenon to watch your girlfriend develop other relationships in real time on Facebook.
“It’s been happening forever. You’re with a girl, she meets a guy, they’re friends at first,” Booth said. “But it’s the way you see it and what you see. And then you think: What’s going on under the surface if this is what’s going on in public?”
It’s this public disrespect that can lead someone into going crazy and spending the night on the bed crying their eyes out. A lot of time for us men, we really don’t care, sometimes it’s just a matter of our pride getting in the way and taking control of our emotions. This can lead us to asking too many questions and calling our women saying stupid stuff to our women like “Whose d*ck you sucking?”
Now certainly for us average normal sexual intellectuals out there we are not going to go to this extreme but we have to take our time before we jump to conclusions. We are in a new world, one our elders can’t give us any advice on. We are learning by ear. So take the time to listen, talk and love one another. Don’t be afraid to answer a few extra questions from the person we are involved with because a quick bit of explaining can save a relationship. All too often we feel like we don’t have to answer to anyone, but we do. At least we do if we really want to find true love.
“It seems like Facebook is creating jealousy even where there was not jealousy to begin with,” said Amy Muise, a doctoral candidate at the University of Guelph’s psychology department who led a recent study on how Facebook can spark jealousy in romantic relationships among college students.
She said Facebook doesn’t necessarily make people more jealous than they would be normally. But all the information divulged on Facebook — those answers to “What’s on your mind?” and reactions to those posts — can increase “triggers” for jealousy.
The study was based on anonymous online survey data from 308 undergraduate Facebook users, three quarters of them women. The study, published in CyberPsychology & Behavior, found Facebook users can get snagged in a “feedback loop”: Their interest piqued by a cryptic wall comment, they become suspicious and start monitoring their partner’s pages, thus finding even more suspicious information.
LOL…
It is so ridiculous how people get all caught up over FB bullshyt…
FB is supposed to be fun, if it's causing drama in your life you need to deactivate your account
facebook is turning into the new myspace..friend requests from dudes I never met and we dont have any mutual friends…GET A LIFE..Im not giving you no FB Booty…
Myspace is the devil! I know someone who told me that him and his wife had an argument over some comments and some booty pics that some girls left on his Myspace profile.She went as far as to have an argument with one of the female “friends” on his page. In the end, they both compromised and took down their pages on Myspace.
Now Facebook is becoming like Myspace and it's a dayum shame.
It used to be fun but now it's just become plain juvenile.
Since myspace is becoming synonymous with cheating, Facebook is taking over its place…”Oh, baby, it's just a facebook page for me to connect with my friends from college/high school.” Since I'm not in a relationship, it doesn't bother me, but I'll share my Myspace nightmare, anyways.
To make a long story short, I found out, within a few weeks, that my bf at the time had two babies, was living with one of the BMs (who he told me was his cousin and used to call her using my cell phone), was going by a completely different name (ladies, KNOW the man's name/see his ID, SSN before having kids with him b/c taking a fake ass name to child support court is NOT a good look), and to boot, was considering being a booty pirate just to get money, drive a Tahoe (that belonged to some DL dude on Myspace), and get a cell phone…THAT was the straw that broke the camel's back…this dude was a cheating ass, lying ass, bi-sexual ass (I saw the messages), fathering two kids under the age of one even though we were together for two years ass, asshole. **WHEW!, that felt good to get off of my chest**
(look, I knew it was wrong to go through his myspace messages from jump, but I was 20 and young-minded at time time and he gave me the password b/c he said I could trust him (dumb fuck; I wouldn't even had checked it if he hadn't been texting all through a few of our dates)
Said all of that to say this: Cheating on someone you claim to love or care for is wrong; but, if it must be done, do it the old-fashioned way..technology is no longer your friend. These social networking sites can cause major drama for cheaters/flirters/curious ppl. I mean, imagine if I was really spiteful and crazier and put him on BLAST (printed his messages to the men, called his BM that he was contacting from my phone, etc…); so much could have gone wrong.
Since then (this was almost 3 years ago now), I've decided that if I ever feel like I'm being played, I just need to walk away…sometimes the truth is too much to handle.
Oh, and, relationships work better (IMO), if one person is less technologically-inclined (through social networking). If your s/o doesn't have a FB page or twitter account, 9 times outta 10, they won't care what you do on yours and u'll have a little (or LOT) less drama caused by jealousy.
…and FB is too much. Anytime I can see wives asking FB friends how they feel about receiving/giving anal sex, THAT's a problem. I'm pretty sure not many men want their wives friends to know that he likes his ass plugged in the bedroom.
I sooo agree with you!!
WOW!! Luckily you found out before the mfer gave you some incurrable ish!! Cheating ass dudes are just insecure mfers!! Keep it 100 DUDE!!
I agree! I think all of them are juvenile! I would be DAMNED if I let folks know what I do on a day to day hour to hour basis.. When will folks grow the F up?
I know, right! During the time after the break up (which I sent to him via a Myspace message to let him know that by the time he read the letter, we would have already been broken up and how hurt I was), I made sure to be tested for STDs and every three months for HIV/AIDS. Being with him compromised my well being… after the time that has passed, I'm still trippin off of the “what if I was HIV-positive or had some other STD”…scary stuff.
Just be SURE to learn the lesson that GOD presented to you!
Just be SURE to learn the lesson that GOD presented to you!
I was just gonna say why not just be honest whether you on FB, My Space or not..just be honest and some kind of decency about you and they way you treat folk…all of this in regards to your Ex and the techie advice in last paragraph..honey thats irrelevant, if folk operated correctly period.
myspace,facebook,and so on most people do get caught up on. I went this similar thing last month. My man/babyfather seen some comments he didnt like on my profile so he went off. But i wasnt doing nothing on there. So i gave him my code. I have nothing to hide, i only log in when im bored and when my children are in bed.
If you can't trust him enough to be ok with him not putting your relationship status on blast…you just might have a problem. I have a friend who's status said he's in a realtionship, but his girlfriend needed him to link it to her page, so everyone would know who he's in a relationship with…
I mean, I guess. Of course I want to be claimed, but when is is stressing about all the wrong things? So what he's chatting with an ex girlfriend frm high school! big deal!
yeah i just went thru a situation..do not dismiss the high school sweetheart..trust me fb is the fuckin devil..if i didnt use it for business purposes and work id close mine..srsly it seems all innocent at first and believe me im not the jealous type but i found way too much info for my own good to believe it was nothing..old feelings get brought back etc.”what ifs?” etc…so just be careful..and keep ur eyes open..all im gonna say