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The Death Of Unconditional Love
Posted in Relationships on 03. Aug, 2009
This thing called love is a crazy emotion, I was having a conversation w/ my homegirl Evanka for about an hour about the wonders of love.
We wondered if the idea of unconditional love was just a myth. These days men and women put so many conditions on love, its almost stupid. Everything from 13 reasons to avoid single mothers, to women who will get upset at that blog, but at the same time they will not date a man with children. As if child support payments will effect the amount of things he is willing to buy her. We question everything from height to the brand of foot apparel that are on a person’s feet, these can determine who we love and how we love them.
People close their minds and hearts based on non important material items. Instead of building one another up, we tend to look for what is best for us and only us. Women think what type of job does he have now, what can he do for me now? When a not paying your phone bill this month could be buying you a house in five years. Men tend to think, her butt isn’t big enough, or she’s just after my money, she doesn’t have her own, while she just may need a little help while she works a bs job and put herself through school so she can stunt on the basic b*tch. We should build one another and bring something to a relationship that is beneficial for the person we are involved with.
I’ll make this one short to allow you all to add your input. Do you think Unconditional Love still exist?
I think Love is dead period.
Nice post. If it does, it rarely flourishes in today's society. I am, by nature, geared to love someone unconditionally, but the people around me (read: family) will tear many men to shreds before I can even bring them to dinner.
I am a firm believer that where you are now is not where you have to be later. They believe that I should get someone whose already where I want to be, not someone who I'll have to “upgrade”. Although money is important in this day and age, I feel there are so many other levels on which to connect with someone and that if you look past the surface, something beautiful may emerge (besides good sex).
All that to say that often, those around us influence our decisions more than they should and most people will give into peer pressure for lack of bumping heads.
Nah, it died along time ago if it ever existed at all. All men/women do is tear fown loving individuals until they become the bastard we won't give a chance
Absolutely. I have been with my unconditional love for 6 yrs now, I have known him for 13. For us it has never ever been about material things. We know in the end none of that matters. For us it’s all about the love for one another. About what’s best for our family as a unit now as an individual. I am a bit old school and hope to one day be able to say I have been with my husband for the past 40yrs, like the rest of the women and men in my family. I strive to have what they have with their partners now in the older years. I have watched them go thru trials and tribulations and have over come only to be close and stronger as a unit. Unconditional love does exist you just have to be open to it and willing to work hard for it because it is not easy. But it is worth it, I believe!
its true that people can often “make a lover feel the fool”, but you have to be “bold enough to reach for love” darling..afterall its rare, like lightening in a bottle, so when it comes for you, cause thats how it works, it finds you you don't find it, you have to reach out and take hold of it, nurture it and never let it go……………….cause it may never come like that again , every love is different……
Unconditional love is real, but many people don't understand it's a two-way street. You have to give it in order to receive it and that's easier said than done. Lord knows I'm still working on my side of the street.
Not every relationship warrants unconditional status, but it's powerful when it happens.
Unconditional Love NEVER EXISTED.
Love is a decision, and to make that decision people need reasons/ aka conditions. For some those conditions include physical looks and wealth, while others just need a spiritual/ mental connection. The closest a human being gets to unconditional love of another human being is the love based on FAITH and the belief that its our duty to love one another regardless of their past. This Faith need not be religious. The point is, conditions/ reasons are the basis for the DECISION2LOVE.
If love was a decision more folk would have it, IMO
Love based on Faith…that's not the closest we get, that is unconditional love, IMHO.
The condition is having Faith, which many people do not possess.
I tend to view conditions of love as external, having to do with the other person, not internal. But I see your point, any conditions would be a barrier to the kind of love we're talking about.
Love is a decision of Perception and Action. Not everyone has Love because they think Love is something that happens outside of themselves, as opposed to the truth that Love is a decision you make on how your going to interact with the world and all the people in it. Love is the decision to focus on the positive and build, instead of destroy. Everyone can choose to Love, but like I said b4, people need reasons/ conditions to make that decision. Those who do not have love in their lives have chosen to perceive the world in a fashion that stops them from establishing the reasons for making that decision.
Love is very much alive and floating around this earth in an abundance in this lifetime/incarnation. Love is very much here.
Now I believe we all have the innermost ability to love unconditionally. Its just that to love unconditionally- love is a greater motivation than just simple spoken words.
Unconditional love is something you can't control and it comes with time.
I believe in all kinds of love.
Idk Xilla…I think the better question is when do I kno if he's the one I should love unconditionally? It's hard enough to make decisions on talk to then to decide if it's genuine enough to put my all into someone.
I think when people are choosing who they want to love they have conditions. When you start dating someone the physical is going to be what you focus on. The unconditional love should come later if people understand that unconditional love is something that will make you want to work for someone, be better for someone and thrive with someone. I firmly believe that my muse will be my woman. And i would hope i would put a desire in her to be the better than her best.
Thats an interesting viewpoint. Being in love with someone is not something that can be manufactored or even choosen, real love is something of divine origin IMO and you can't tell your heart hey I”m gonna be inlove with this person or that person it doesn't work that way, your heart tells you…the only thing you choose is whether to embrace it or shun it and I guess thats where we jive agree, also love is a noun AND a verb we agree on that too LOL.
i think unconditional love comes with time. it's starts out at one point just being “love”, but with years of dedication/hard work turn it into unconditional. it's something you gotta work on in my opinion. i think a mother or father are the only ones who can provide unconditional love to their child. that's before anyone…
Love is a decision to define what we already have been inspired feel. Your right in that many choose not to define their feelings as Love. Today the favorite term is now, ” I'm feeling you.” With this people can enjoy all the benefits of Love but with none of the emotional responsibilities. When we fall in Love what we are really doing is coming to grips with the reality of what we already felt for someone. The reasons we fall for someone are without number. Their are as many motivations for loving someone as their are people on this planet. If the correct motivating factors are found in someone then feelings are inspired in us. At that point we decide if these feelings are Love or not. The people that do not know Love are those that have decided that what they feel for someone is not strong enough for them to define as Love. One reason this happens more often is that these people have been enjoying all the benefits of Love but not accepting the responsibilities of Love. So now the motivating factors for this group of people need to be even more numerous for them to consider their feelings to be Love. Another problem with not seeing Love as a decision is that we fail to build and maintain a foundation of all our motivating factors. If we know why we care for someone and why they care for us the the smart move is to maintain these reasons for Love. Love ends when people decide its over. They make this decision when the reasons for Loving someone disappear. Neglecting the maintenance of your foundation for Love results in the end of what could have been a life long Love. Love is a decision we must renew and re-commit to everyday. I also believe Love comes from God, but he gave us the responsibility and duty to manifest Love in the Lord's name. Remember that part in the bible that says Love thy neighbor as you Love yourself? If God expects us to Love all our neighbors as we Love ourselves, that means Love is something we can choose to manifest in ourselves towards others. The Decision2Love is yours.
I can agree with alot of what you say but IMO if its real love, than it never ends, even if the relationship does.
Love is the only thing that can survive death, the onl thing you take with you once you leave this life is love and love is the only thing that gets you thru it tbw, and the decision is all ours daily!
I agree that you can continue to Love someone even after the intimate relationship has ended. I still Love the women I had the honor of dating. It goes to show, that just because you Love someone does not mean you are compatible in an intimate level. We must have have a strong foundation built of Positive Communication and this communication must always be maintained. If only I knew this stuff years ago. Eh well. lol The Decision2Love is always yours.
nope..it doesn't. People have a list of what they want without anything referring to emotion
All that goes out the window when cupid empties that clip of arrows with direct hits to el corazon LOL
I totally agree with you, well said.
no everything is all about sex now
I don't think unconditional love exists, nor should it. When it's unconditional, one can be set up for hurt and failure. If someone is able to love someone else unconditionally, there is a problem with that person. Now, I will say that you cannot love someone for what they have, or what they can do. That's not love. Love is compromise, understanding, unselfish, communication, friendship, compatibility, chemistry, and lots of other attributes.
As I read what I just wrote, I wonder if I've ever really been in love… I don't believe I've had all of those at one time. I want to love, and be loved. The question is — is it possible for someone to possess all of these things, or do we have to settle for less than. I have done a lot of settling, and been unhappy in each situation because I thought I was in love. As I think back, I wasn't. I was “conditioned to love” that person.
Damn, that was deep! I need to do some soul-searching and introspection of myself…
damn thats deep maymajesty and on all of levels i agree
I believe unconditional love exists. It is just that most of us are not ready to receive or give it when the opportunity presents itself. The hearts capacity to love is limitless. People place limitations on Love out of fear. Fear of being hurt, abandoned or taken advantage of. Unconditional Love is scary. It means no matter what, come hell or high water you are with that woman or that man. No ifs ands or buts about it. It exists, people are conditioned in todays society to believe that it does not. To Love unconditionally you have to make yourself vulnerable and people are not prepared to do that. It is trusting someone implicitly. It is putting someone before yourself knowing that they are going to do the same for you. To love and be loved unconditionally you have to let it all go. Fear, doubt, distrust, pet peeves all must leave your mind. Then as your heart opens unconditional love can come in.
That is just my two cents. Peace & Blessings
if people are scared to fall in love and refuse to even give in then the concept doesn't exist anymore
I love this post because it is so true…. I am not well endowed in the butt or breast areas but I am fit and athletic and i look good. I absolutely love black men. BUt i find that a black man may never be satisfied iwth me because I am not well endowed in the number one thing that attracts them… ass… lol its so funny to hear that but I have been with a guy who i absolutely loved and he loved having sex with me but then when we would hang out sometimes he would mention people and their asses (celebrities) and it just made me think like damn why are you with me. I just wish that things weren't so superficial….. I commend you for this topic
wow this is so well put… and u are absolutely right… WOW!
Falling in love is not a concept. It was here before us and it will be here after we are gone. It has no end. Concepts come and go!! Be Easy ms. Jai.
I am glad you feel that way. Thank you Ms. esskaye!! Have a good weekend!!
If a man does not Love, cherish and appreciate YOU for YOU and what YOU bring to the table in all of YOUR glory let him go. He does not deserve YOU. YOU are worth far more than YOUR weight in gold beautiful esskaye. Do not forget that. Peace & Blessings
materialistic things and looks are more valuable than wats inside ur heart now a days thats society. If unconditional love was still around than this topic wouldn't even be discussed
Materialistic things and looks are not more valuable, just more popular…there's a difference.
What makes it bad is that people who do value whats in a persons heart more than looks or possessions are losing hope, throwing up their hands and jumping on “society's” bandwagon instead of holding onto their standards and holding out for what is real
Blacksand is right, LOVE (in all of it's forms) is not a concept, it is a gift from God, he is the Originator of it, the first to exercise it – it will ALWAYS exist.
WELL OBVIOUSLY THAT MUST BE IMPORTANT IF PEOPLE ARE FOLLOWING TRENDS AND NOT CONTINUING TO THINK 4 THEMSELVES PEOPLE HAVE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE 4 THEIR FAMILIES NOT 4 ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS
“Why are you hollerin?” *in my best Katt Williams voice*
I never said it wasn't important, it is a very important issue, but don't be fooled there are people who do have unconditional love in their romantic relationships…just because it's not as prevelant as the f*ckery most people accept in it's place doesn't mean that it doesn't happen
Human stupidity can never and will never bring an end to what God created and intended to be
um it is not that serious calm down I just state how I feel i'm entitled to my point of view.
LOL @ “calm down” – you're too funny
Have I ever told you that you are a phenomenal woman HeadMistress? You are a phenomenal woman whose depth grows more impressive and attractive everyday…:o)
I respect your opinion Ms.jai. We can just agree that we disagree on this topic. Peace and Blessings to you and yours..
I respect your opinion ms.jai. We can agree that we disagree on this topic. Peace and Blessings to you and yours…
u seem passionate about this mess u got unconditional love 4 a significant other?
Yes you have but don't let that stop you from saying it again and again
Nope, sure don't, but that doesn't mean it's not real…
You are a phenomenal woman. As a smile makes it's way across my face. The knowledge you give, it floats off your lips like honey sweet to the taste.
You are phenomenal.. Until the next time… Peace & Blessings…:o)