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Dear Xilla, This One Time At BasketBall Camp
Posted in Relationships, Xilla on on 29. Jul, 2009
Photo of The Bol B
I Received an email from a young lady who needed a males point of view on her current situation. A guy from her past as reappeared and she’s feeling him, but she just doesn’t know what to do. Check it out and maybe you can give her some advice of your own.
Dear Xilla,
I met up with a guy I went to high school with, I don’t remember him but he remembers me. He played on the basketball team, I don’t understand why I don’t remember him. I was the administrative assistant for all the sports coach’s so I knew all those guys (so I thought) anyway he says he had a crush on me and use to watch me all the time; he remembers how I wore my hair & the jeans I use to wear. Without giving away my age…..that was a lot of years ago. So he started flirting with me on a website created just for my school. Then he followed me over to Facebook and created a page for himself. I finally gave in and we’ve been communication with each other through FB and text messages and some phone calls. We mostly SEXTEXT and it does get steamy at times….it has gotten me READY for him. BUT; we have not gone on a date once. We’ve only seen each other once we both like what we saw. He is just recently divorced 1 year. And I do live with my daughters father….but we’re JUST roommates NO SEX….I haven’t had that in 2 1/2 years. Didn’t tell my friend that bit of info. But I want him….can’t tell if he’s ready; he say he is but…if he was why no date????? Oh and by the way I see ur a Libra…..so is he.
Signed,
That’s Just My Baby Daddy
Dear, That’s Just My Baby Daddy,
I say go for it. What do you have to lose? It sounds like this guy had a big crush on you back in the day and you never noticed him. This can even be a way out of your Baby father’s house. I also don’t think you should hold back either. You have already been sex texting with him, so I’m going to assume he has already seen most parts of your body so go for it. As far as a date, why don’t you make the first move? There are no laws to say he has to be the first one to ask you out. He might be a little scared, he remembers details about you and you don’t remember details about him. So here is what you should do.
- Ask Him Out
- Plan a date where you can converse with him about various topics
- Find out more about him, does he live alone, with his mother, etc,
- Get him to invite you over, even if you have to ask if you can come over.
- After the first date, if you’re still feeling his vibe then make a decision on when you want to give him the goods. I know this sounds weird, but it’s clear to me you want to jump his bones. So do it.
Like I said earlier he could be your way out of your baby father’s home. There is something keeping you there and if the two of you aren’t sleeping together anymore you might as well move out and get your own spot, but I do understand that it’s a recession out there. Best of luck and as always follow your heart.
good advice
I agree w/that advice. You have nothing to lose & something to gain. U cant let the opportunity just slip out of ur hands, he might be the real deal so if your feeling him, and it seems as if the feelings mutual make the first move & ask him out or something. We live in a different day now & not all guys will do things first, so i say go for it & do what you feel is right
Good advice Xilla but she needs to change her living situation ASAP!
Never a good idea to keep that kinda info a secret, not a good idea to even be in that situation to begin with, 'cause when (and I do mean WHEN, not if) he finds out he is gonna feel some kinda way about it – probably the same way she would feel if she found out he was livin with his baby mother and claimed there was “no sex”.
Even when it's true no one in their right mind would believe it – esp when the person kept it from you
I'm so drooling over that picture!
He looks so damn tasty! LOL
Ok, now let me go read the text. Hahaha
Ok, i'd say go 4it as well.
It's obvious that the attraction is there, why hesitate?
Nothing 2lose, as mentioned above somewhere.
Let us know what happened
I agree with Xilla ask him out. I also agree with HeadMistress get your own place. Your baby daddy doesn't have to be your room mate also… its a little to convient for others to understand and will lead to constant drama. Give yourself space to have your own life without interference.
Cosign! I don't have to say anything because you said it all!
make sure you get room if he ain't got his own spot.
Yikes! Move out from your BD's place, or kick him out whichever applies here.
Girl, go for it. This same thing is happening to me as we speak. An old friend found me on FB, and we texted, chatted and talked on the phone. We had never had sex, but when we finally did meet up, it was amazing…Needless to say, I do have a baby-daddy still living with me and he is def going to get the boot as soon as I get back to the crib. But my friend and I make sure we take the time and get up…we will be going on a cruise this Fall, and December will make our “anniversary” for rekindling our flame! Hell, this is what has helped me get my groove back from being in a dead end relationship with baby-daddy for all these years! LOL
I know I'm late lol..hahahahaha
But I agree with u Xilla, and I agree with DaRuler.
If I may be so bold to say, skip the date and got straight to the room. It can work out quite nice. Get a bottle, dim the lights in the hotel room, sit on the bed and play catch up. And you know that it will ultimately lead to the best sexual release ever.
I would prefer that over wasting money on food and drinks and being around a crowd of ppl when I could have him and him only in a room where we can be around one another practically all nite
That is terrible advice!! If you do that you will be setting yourself up to not be appreciated. Unless you are only in it for sex then that is a real dumb move. I understand you haven't had sex in 2 1/2 years but you shouldn't do that.
You act cheap he will treat you like he got you from a flee market. You shouldn't ask him on a date he should ask you! And the fact that you are asking about why not a date tells me you are not looking to be a booty call. why wait 2 1/2 years to be a booty call. And you may not believe this you are setting yourself up to be that.
Guys should hunt you should be the hunted. you can call me old fashion all you want but that is the only way we will appreciate you. Do what this guy tells you if you want and eventually you will regret it. Maybe not immediately but you will see.