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6 Incredibly Subtle Ways To Get Laid Without Asking
Posted in Rated Grown Up, Relationships on 21. Jul, 2009
Photo by M. Schultz Model: Summer Walker & Mr. Kumputer
“Hmm, how do I say this? I guess the best way to say it, is to just come out with it. I wanna f*ck you.” Not very subtle right? Well I’m sure we’ve all developed code words or phrases so we won’t have to say “hey I want you to come over so I can stick the manxilla so deep inside you, your eyeballs will start to bulge out of your skull.” So, with a little bit of help from my twitter friends I’ve come up with some clever ways to let your lover know, hey I want some, without saying hey I want some.
“Let me check your scrotum?” The Fly Girl @TheOnlyTFG”
- I’ve actually had a woman say this to me before. She said “let me see it, make sure there are no extra bumps and bruises on it.” Then, while she was examining me like a piece of produce she put it in her mouth. So Fellas if you hear this prepared to be sucked. Hey! Her face is down there anyway right?
“You Wanna Come Over?” Young Safe @YoungSafe
- This is one of the most infamous terms ever. I’ve noticed a lot of times women like to play dumb when they hear this phrase uttered. I’ve invited numerous women over to my apt for the soul purpose of doing to nasty this way, only to be left with blue balls and all of my Kool-Aid drank up. SMCH! Well listen here… If I ask you to come over, 9 times out of 10 it means I want you to come over and have sex with me. Yes, even if it’s my first time inviting you over.
“Can You Massage My Back For Me Please? or You Wanna Massage” Tonda via Twitter
- When I hear a woman ask me for a massage I go from limp to rock in 2.3 seconds flat. We all know that a massage is the code word for sex. I’ve actually had women decline my massage offer because they knew it would lead to sex. Once a guy get down to the small of her back… He should just keep going lower and lower and next thing he know. He’ll be eating her from behind and swimming in her glory a few minutes later. FYI woman, learn how to massage and understand that if we request a massage its not really to help ease any tension, it mean rub on me until you ready to have sex with me. Just thought I should let you know.
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What's the thread, I wanna follow!
A girl told me one time this:
“Wanna box? I give mean head shots and body blows.” Lol.
Now, if that's not subtle… Lol
Yes!!! My comment made it, LOL I forgot about the “What you doing tonight” and Wanna come watch a movie, also good ones.
OMG!! YOU GOT MY COUSIN CHIRS AS THE MODEL!! WAIT TIL I TELL HIM YOU USED HIS PIC! HAHAHHAHA I CANT EVEN COMMENT ON THE TOPIC NOW!
wow i know a couple of those have worked for me!
lol worked on you or worked for you or both?
Mr. Kumputer is your cousin? Word? Thats dope you should still comment though… lol
ummm great thanks
thats dope!! lol I kno you put it on her… after you stopped laughing.
GIRL: Hey baby was up tonite.
GUY: My dick
GIRL: Well then come on over.
yet i thought you deleted it… lol
Yes his name is Chris. We are from Lafayette, LA. he is a member of Kappa Alpha Psi Kumputer is his line name… he goes to ULL (university of Louisiana at Lafayette)
awwwwwww wait til I tell him he will be all crunk or should I say Krunk since he writes everything with a “K” now hahahahaha
I swear I can't think of shit since his face all up on here!
yay ! I made it
lol
I got hit with a good one once:
“Wanna come over for some Harvey's Bristol Creme?”
Massage is my go-to, works like a charm. Plus, I start it off as an innocent one. Once the shirt comes off, the I go lower, it's on like Donkey Kong!
Dope post, fam.
I usually hear…”When am I gonna see you again???” Knowin' good and well, the last time we saw each other it was on then…
i almost never sugarcoat what i want…i usually just say ” sooo i wanna fuck, you tryna come over?” …im kinda aggressive…lol…but usually the person im involved with knows the deal…whenever i call them they know im calling for a reason…
awww, Xilla thanks for using my quote.
I have another one too…..
“I can cook”/”Wanna come cook for me?”
can i see you?–wanna come over..?
work like a charm cuz we already know wats up
I can't believe I didn't get creditted with the ” You want to come and watch a movie”!
However, today in the car I was definitely thinking about the whole “I need a massage” thing……. But what about the “Oh I can't believe you haven't seen (insert TV show saved on his DVR here) you have to come over and catch up”…that has worked on several of my homegirls!
Lastly, please tell Mr. Kumputer himself that he is holding it down WELL for KAPsi with his fine self….o the children…let me stop
-@sincserious
On more then one occasion I remember taking it back to inviting him in for a cup of coffee, lls! After we both share that laugh then I would let him know that I don't own any coffee beans or a coffee maker but once he walk both feet across my threshold that he was definitly getting phucked & I meant it!
Unfortunately being that bold would cause some guys to buckle under pressure….pressure bust pipes!
I tell him straight up I wanna do the nasty and that I need him
I've heard and used some of these before.
Now I just get a text saying “take me down”. . .so romantic . . .lol
These are the classics! I don't usually say anything though. I have a special look that I do, and a signature nape of the neck kinda finger massage thingy. I also do a lil moan/growl on special occasions lmao
Man if I had a dollar for every “massage” I ever got! LOL…and every “movie” I ever watched…I always know it's going down when I agree to either of those…I LOVE massages! LOL
My man called me at 2 AM and was like “Baby I need you to come take me to the hospital”. So I rush my ass over there and he is but ass naked waiting on me.
I kicked his ass before he got the cookie box tho
Heres another ” i'm gonna beat you up ” or “were fighting ” , if she's coming over to fight , she usually ends up bobbing and weaving and down on all 4's for the 10 count , cuz i don't last mad long but i bet i make ya come 3 times in 10 minutes , lol p.s.- i love big titties , use to be an ass man but these dd's i been playin with lately , forget it ! , mmm and she can ride mmmmm , peace , ha ha