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In Love With A N**** Lover
Posted in Relationships on 14. Jul, 2009
I’ve been thinking about trying to date outside of my race for a while now, and I think I’m going to make the jump. I never really written about interracial dating using my own words. This has been a topic I have avoided and tried to stay away from. But I think I am ready. I had a conversation with a white girl who likes Black men, and it opened my eyes.
She explained to me that the amount of hate she receives is crazy. We went out and the attention was just as crazy. I noticed the extra stares, women cutting their eyes and I’m sure I heard a few teeth being sucked. (SMCH) It wasn’t like I wouldn’t give a sister a chance. Hell I’ve dated sister’s all my life and the only thing they ever gave me was attitude, lip, and blank stares as the bill comes. She brought drinks for the friends, paid for meals and came out her pocket to pay for her half of the bill. Don’t get me wrong I had sister’s do these thing as well, but something was different about this one.
Every white girl I’ve been involved with have always generous, and showed an honest interesting in me as a person. I think it may be that we take our own race for granted. Too often using another race as a trophy. I can’t lie, with all the extra attention I was getting from having a snow bunny on my arm it felt good. I mean I’ve had sister’s who looked way better, but I never experienced anything like this before. It was almost like a high. I sat here and read comment after comment of sister’s wanting to date white men, but I can’t help but feel like I’ll get flack for trying to date a white woman. The women I went out with was just a friend, but I can imagine if I was in the streets holding hands, and making out with her in public. Would white people call her a n-word lover?
I noticed we still live in a segregated land, whites stay on one side of the town, blacks on another. How do you explain interracial dating to a person who went to a school with 3 black kids out of 4000? You don’t, they don’t understand. One would think that interracial dating would be more accepted than it is today. It’s getting there, but if you want to see just how segregated we are, walk into a white bar, you’ll see anywhere between 1-5 black people each with a different group of white friends. Then walk into a black club, or bar, and you’ll see 10-20 groups of white people, who came with their white friends. This leads me to think… Maybe it’s us who are the ones who don’t want integration.
It's free to the public. There will be food/merchandise vendors (hopefully more than we have now lol
so those things will have a cost.
Cool I hope you can make it. I'm helping to plan and promote the (taking volunteers all day lol) festival. I'm still working up the courage to read some of my pieces at the event. I'm such a wuss! But my partners really want me to so I probably will.
Big hug back
We will be taking donations though! The proceeds will go to Sacramento Food Bank and the Always Knocking org.
Date: Yes
Get Serious: No
Is that prejudice: Absolutely
Far too many decent african american men are not in the market for their counterparts. They find the view more enticing on the other side of things. Taste it, enjoy it, but when it's time to settle down remember that you have an obligation to more than just yourself, you have one to your culture.
I'm going to try. You should share your pieces. I'll bet you will be amazed at how everyone responds to your work. Your partners would not lie to you. Plus with a smile so inviting, they will love your stuff!!
Its sad that it is 2009 and you still have that mind set. To me I believe by dating a white women you would be doing more for your culture cause you would be opening other people's eyes that might not know anything about the culture. To use a culture argument too, what about the black man that grows up in a community where only 3 students are African American… sorry he does not know the culture. How about the white women growing up in the inner city… they would know more about culture than the rural african american. EDUCATE YOURSELF!!!!! Its views like this that allow racism and predujice to still exsist today, in both the white and black communities.
The only obligation someone has is to make themselves happy… after that they have an obligation to their family, fuck the culture… it changes over time anyway, why not be part of that change?
i am dating interracialy right now, My boyfriend is sri lankan(indian) and raised in england. He is a nice guy, older than me .He stopped me in the airport and didnt let me go. i was apprehensive but hey it has been great since i meet him, we met in march and spoke on the phone for 3 months before he payed my ticket to visit him in the UK. we are now in july he wants to keep going forward i love the time long distance because we had to know each other purely for the mental. So he is dark and handsome but just not black. I prefer a black man but hey who ever treats me good, plus he has the same values as me, no children and is stable (electronical engineer)
Thank you very much. I totally agree that not only blacks but people
in general still live in the dark. This world is full of color and
you're right, no one owes anybody anything. Everyone needs to figure
out how to coexist and make decisions for themselves. It seems as
though most people feel the way they feel because that's how they're
“supposed” to feel and act.
You speak of the exception, which is most often not the case. Take a look at how most of the women feel here posting in this thread. You fall in love with whomever you fall in love with, I am simply pointing out that many of us (black men) look at the white women as a trophy and thus the african american woman not as worthy.
Which is more telling about the man than anything else.
If you are going for a white woman as a trophy you yourself have the problem. If a relationship is built on true love than in that case you should not care what other members of your race or any other race think. If you read my previous posts I find it disturbing that black women look at it as “we lost one of our own” that type of statement is just as bad as a white person calling the chcik a “n word lover.” Its sad that society still has not progressed to the idea of acceptence. Isn't that the whole gay marriage dispute to? If you are in love then so be it, who am I to say, look, or disrespect u in any way. Until we as an entire society reach that point then this debate will be ended but by the looks of the thread, we are still a far far far ways off.
Awesome! I'll let my friends know about this event!
I'm glad the donations are going to Sac. Food Bank…..There is SOOOO many homeless people in Sac. You know it's bad when OPRAH sends her cameras to Sac.
i'ma pray u ain' dyed ur hair! u know how i feel about this 1. there are FAR Too many lovely sistas that pay and treat the homies to go for a snow bunny. i'm 1 of 'em. i cook the meals[crack] get bottles, and am not manly yet i play/watch sports. i can't BEG for a black guy in chicago to treat me remotely human. White boys however open doors, kiss my ankles, break my back u name it.
despite the lovely treatment, i can't get over the stares and comments. its WAY worse to be a blackwoman w/ a white man. society expects brothas to get whitegirls even tho many whites/sistas feel some awful kinda way about it, its still socially accepted.
i've had random men buy me drinks and tell me i don't have to settle for the samoan, i've watched people stare at me my whole meal, i had one rich older white man assume i was a classy call girl and ask if he could have me for a week….. i got stories for days son! ultimately, do you,but please don't forsake the sistas cuz there are SO many out there that need a gr8 man….
wow. feelin' some kinda way…again thank you for reinforcing the whole light is right thing…its sad how men can't get attention for being w/ a beautiful brown girl with her darker features…
DUCK! sombody just shot the last o' da brohethans!
sistas are salty about brothas w/snowbunny's because we ARE/know a downright TRILL great sista thas lonely and could benefit from a brotha not going that route. we're salty cuz brothas have optionswhile we scrap up over leftovers.
whites aren't comfortable due to historical reasons. a brotha no matter what boils down to a larger menacing peen set to penetrate their most precious gift. since SO MANY brothas are w/othas, they've come to grin and bear it, but BELIVE that in the end their siding w/ their own skin….
society expectssistas to betacky and classless and lonely. bitter and angry before they snap up a whiteboy. sistas are always the least desired of all the races of women in the media, and as a mixed sista, i've been urged to wet my hair and dumb it down just to get a date.[maybe possibly] when a whiteguy shows more than a fleeting curious interest i catch ROYAL hell from all parties concerned. my peers, his peers, my family, coworkers etc. “u know he can't do it like a nigga girl…..how did u meet Chistian? he really likes u or just wanna hump? he must be paid huh? sweetheart u ain' gotta do that….u cute just pray on the Lawd's favor and wait fa dat nigga to be yo babydaddy and nothin more[emphasis mine]
it all boils down to lonliness and being excluded or made to feel less than…when u dip outside ur box its like poopin on ur racial peers.
u betta SAY DAT! seriously i cosign EVERYTHING U SAID! str8 up!
YES! YES! OOOOHHH YES! p.s. whiteboy usually paints my toes too!
So before you go off thinking White folks are all embracing, altruistic, touchy feely persons, and Blacks are, well, kinda suspect, realize that we ALL have the capacity to embrace. However, some groups have the luxury of picking and choosing, while other groups must for an admittance stamp. Love ya. Blue.
REAL SHIT RIGHT THEA! seriously! h5 or somethin!
This is a great news!! so, for celebration, I want to recommend you lonely guys who hate lonely nights a great online club to meet your activity partner, romance and lover, either for heat or passion: ___** B l a c k W h i t e Lov i n g-c O m**__ the most popular place for hot models, handsome men meet and mingle! u might be surprise what u end up with!!LOL
Folks just have to realize black men care less about black folks everyday now
Thats why they get a white girl have babies with them hoping shawty genes are strong as hell and that the baby look white
So the generations to come are white and more accepted
Niggaz want white or light bright babies end of discussion
They look down on you because they dont like black women period
Yeah lets all have mutts
I don't necessarily agree with Xilla's motivation for wanting to date outside his race, but I'm not about to sit here and bash him because he has an opinion. Do you, Xilla, but do it for the right reasons.
Okay, I didn't know this post through Twitter ish was going to post my gov't name, damn…
…oh, well…
If it wasn't for interracial dating and marriage there wouldn't be all these gorgeous mixed babies
I say go for it!
I NEVER said “all black women.” Nor am I putting black women down. I was simply giving a reason why some black men date other races. I've dated black women before and no they did not have an attitude. But since my comment was BS, I guess a black man doesn't get respect for his opinion. I find it as a waste of time to replying to your response.
I'm done talkin. Holla!
My motto in life is “Love has no Color, Only me and you” … I honestly believe you cant help who you fall in love with. My husband is white, and i am black. Ive dated other race's also, but this is whom i fell in love with. Interracial isnt just white and black people. It can be Asian and Black , Asian and German whatever! I was brought up openly, to accept all types of people … his family loves me, and mine the same. I dont care who other people date.. to each its own. If that person makes you happy whether they are the same race as you or not then so be it.
Yes! It's really out of control but hopefully we can raise enough to make at least a small difference. I need volunteers too! so if you have free time get at me…I'm on Myspace…
Aww thanks!
For me personally, I don't have much against dating another race anymore. I am comfortable within myself to appreciate that people find love in all different races. However, I do have an issue when black men decide to date out of their race because of the stereotypical things such as Black women have issues etc. What race doesn't? Shouldn't you be checking yourself and the people YOU decide to date and not an entire race?. When black men start bashing ALL black women that's when I become defensive. I am an Individual and I don't stand for ALL black women.
I do find that people who date out of their race become amazed of how the other race treats them. Well duh! a lot of times other races are going to go out of their way to prove they are different and better than your own in the beginning. Ask a man who has dated both and most times you will get “ALL WOMEN ARE CRAZY” lol. I have experienced this first hand and it amuses me how we appreciate this as being genuine sometimes. Not saying it is always that way, that's ignorant but it does happen. We do take advantage of our own because we are too comfortable and have an understanding without anything being said.
If you are genuinely attracted to anyone of any race and that is just the person you are..Go for it!. But if you have foolish reasons like “Oh they will treat me better” go ahead..Women like me don't like you.
We need to stop basing Interracial relationships or being bias because of stupid expectations. If you didn't attract the people you do or date the people you did. You wouldn't be judging a race as a whole!
I didn't write all I wanted to say LOL but this is good enough
black women who complain about a shortage of black men are racist and need to open their perspective.
i'm aware that's a bold statement.. but if you're one of those women/men who complain about that.. you're basically saying that you're okay with people limiting their love for someone based on skin color.
if you were to end up falling for a white man… and he said nah.. i only date white women… you'd be pulling the racist card.. and rightfully so.
since when did skin color matter in love.
and who has a choice in real love anyway?
if there's real love there… take it.. and give it…
that's what matters in the end.
Date who you want to date. I just believe the reason to date out of your race shouldn't be based on characteristics/stereotypes of a race as a whole.
If a white man told me he wasn't attracted to black women and it wasn't based on a negative perception of the way black women act etc. I wouldn't care nor would I call him Racist. You like what you like. Color is just color but when you start putting stop blocks because of BS beliefs of how someone is,or acts because of their skin… than you may have issues you need to correct within yourself.