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Stand By Sex: I Only Call You When I’m Bored
Posted in Rated Grown Up, Relationships, Sexual Intellectuals on 13. Jul, 2009
Photo by Max V
It simply has to be that maybe this guy is just not that into you. Maybe a woman is not his type or he isn’t sexually attracted to her. I’ve turned down plenty of women because I wasn’t attracted to them. Me being a Libra I have this thing with beauty, some call it lust I call it the stars. Often we men will put women in the Call When Bored category.
This means when I have nothing else to do, or no one else to call and possibly screw then I’ll call you. You are the last option, damn I really want some head let me call Sharkesha to come over and slob my knob like an armless girl trying to open the door with her mouth. It’s simply laws of nature. I don’t think being the call when bored chick is necessarily a bad thing, its a position and sometime we need to know our roles and play our part.
I’m sure I’ve been the called when bored guy before, and I’m a great dude! I don’t get upset, I just know, that when my number is called I need to perform at my best. That’s how bench players get in the game again. I do whatever and make the most out of the time I get with this person.
Many people feel like they are too good to be a you only call me when you want something person, but well why else would a person call you? Everything isn’t for everyone. Kanye could rock a lavender suit at the grammy’s but when Jazzy Pha put one on at the BET awards it just looked awkward. It’s the same thing with relationships. Just because Jose was the perfect guy for Maria, it doesn’t mean that Stacy is going to like Jose for anything other than to treat her to dinner when none of her A-list friends are able to take her out. Jose should make the most of his time.
Same thing for Maria, if she should have no problem being an on call option for Jermaine, she should do whatever it takes to get more playing time from him if that what she wants. More time. No filled sex, sex that the word no comes up whenever anything other than missionary is requested, will leave you on the bench for years.
I would go on but I have a plane to catch, so I ask you have you ever flown stand by in a relationship with someone? Do you have any Call When Bored stories you’d like to share? Speak now or forever hold your peace.
this blog has not been reread, proof read or spell/grammar check I don’t have time please forgive me for any typos.
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Yes & I didn't mind at all.
It worked out well for the bothof us.
You scroll through that raggedy cell phone, two or three times, Anaconda ain't home, Big Dick Willie ain't home…….the LOVE BELOW starts talin to ya….
No!! Even if I wasn't a virgin (in which I am), I wouldn't lower my self worth to just be the call girl. Even though I'm young (21), I was taught standards and I was also taught that men respect standards. If a man really wants to be with you, he wouldn't waste your time in that matter and vice versa. I don't apologize for sounding like a 'goodie 2 shoes'. Life is too short for me to be a booty call for anybody! Besides, it's too much S.T.I.s, AIDS (I have a bad immune system anyway ick!), and babies without mothers and fathers to playing rushing roulette with my life. I have shit to do. LOL
P.S.- I love your blog website and you should do T.V.! Hell they talk about sex, relationships, music, and celebrities, anyway.
I've flown stand-by involuntarily and I hated it…BUT, once I re-categorized the guy as my own stand-by it was much better for me. He didn't like it much, but he adjusted once he realized it meant less drama all around.
To immaculate721: I have to say I held similar views at your age. Fast forward 15 yrs, and I understand that men, even when they like/love you, will do messed up things to you and the relationship (including wasting your time), because of their own issues. I also know that men in their 20's can respect you a lot and will still screw the neighborhood slut. Enjoy your youth, uphold your values, but don't forget to have fun and be safe.
Flying standby sux but it is what it is. We as women have our standby guys so why should we act too good when it comes to playing that position? There's always this type of double standard in male/female relationships that some people (i.e. the virgin) just don't understand.
Reading this made me think about my standby and I realized that I'm prob his standby too…so???
There's a saying “Never make someone a priority who only makes you an option.” Not even gonna lie, I been the standby chic and I have a standby list. What's crazy is I have long term standbys – ppl who may not get it but once every other month or once every few years. Got a couple of standby on the 5+ year list but u better believe if I want it I can get it.
No, I understand perfectly. In MY CASE, I'm saying I can't be that call girl, because I don't want my time wasted on someone that I'm giving 110% to and he is not giving it back. That's it fine if that's what you want. That's your life. It is a lot of men that SAY they would mind being the call boy if you had to be the call girl, but the next thing you know he'll 'popping up' at your door trying to damn near kill your 'company' and you'll running in a nightrobe flagging down the police. All I'm saying is everybody ain't always playing their position.
I had one dude who tried to fly me standby but I had to dead that shit real quick. Sorry, but I only do 1st class confirmed flights.
On the other hand, I just got out of a 2yr relationship and right now I'm feeling vitamin D deficient. I'm dying to find one of my old bf's number so I can put him on standby, cause I don't feel like trying to put sum new dude in rotation. I need some “ol reliable” D right about now.
i must admit-i have a “call when bored” sex buddy. he knows i only call wen im bored and i know he only comes wen he has nothing else to do so its not that big of a deal. he comes over, we smoke a lil bit, fuck
, and thats it. after that we may not call each other for maybe another 3 or 4 months lol. doesnt make me a slut and it doesnt make him a bad person. we both get wat we want with no strings attached
i have one of thoes.. we might not talk for 2 or 3 months.. but when i get that text message or phone call i already kno whats up. thats all i want from him.. i dont want no relationship with that nigga at all.. it would be a waste of time.. ima come over the house.. smoke a lil bit.. do the do then leave.. i got wat i wanted now bye.. i dont even think i like him as a person anymore i just like the D
Maybe he was actually kinda feelin you on another level, but once you said you just wanted to get some he felt some kinda way and didn't want to be used, or maybe like Xilla said he's just not attracted to you sexually. Just move along. Obviously, if that didn't spark his interest he aint feelin it.
I got tired of being a standby sex chick for this dude. It seems like everytime we got together to do it, he always got his and but I was stuck trying to get mines. When he came, he never asked or even cared if I came and was satisfied. It was over and I was headed home without a smile on my face and still wanting more.
i've been on both sides before, but now at 15 i refuse to. niggas here are quick to put brown girls in tha “they ain' gettin checked so they should be EXCITED for the scraps” category. i'm cute, nice,will bussa head in stilletto platforms in a minidress w/o any nipslips or crackso'back, and i cooks a mean meal. what in that says settle. notta dayum thang! hehehe! i aggree tho. people need to know their role and play it well! when u step up outside ya place nothing good comes from that….
i got a stand-by, but she usually calling me… i ain't hollered at her in about 2-3 months now though… hmm.. should i? nah, it's too late 4am. maybe tomorrow… naaaaaaahhhhh.
ur 15 y/o? if so, u need an education sweetie…not cute!
Standby's…hmm. Ive had a few and i have definitely been a standby. Sometimes, its just better that way. My favorite “stand-by” is this guy name Ro. He's like 45 and a retire airman. OMG his stroke is mean, but we both have relationships so i only call him when im beef with my guy or he will ring if his 40y.o is being a bitch.
Oh hun, take a breather. LOL. Hopefully you'll wait till you get married but if you're planning to have sex before hand you should understand that no matter how high you place yourself, a lot of men won't place you as high as you want them to and the messed up part is that you might not even know that this is happening to you. Humans are funny that way. It's not really personal. It has nothing to do with you not being great. Sometimes a guy will just like you because your a good convo and everything else might lack a bit For Him. Not every guy is like this but don't get too hurt when you find out that you might be one of those girls to someone. It's like a friend that you would party with but not necessarily share secrets with. She's good for one thing and not for everything. And to tell you the truth, one day you'll might have a call guy and have no problem with doing that to a person.
damn.So after commenting on this particular post, i remembered that i had a date with my stand-by. Man, cheating is pretty fucked up but nothing beats plain old experience!
That relationship is a beautiful thing if you know and play your role. Everybody gets what they want. She gets D, and I don't have to hear her complain about her job, school, friends etc.
It is a win win situation.
I have a standby …. I dont want a relationship right now..too much maintence.. I told him up front… I figured wed chat then commence to the sex…its working but now hes talkin this girlfriend ish, trying to give me the key and gettin mad cause I wont spend the night… SMDh we arent not in a relationship!!! I think hes catchin feelings
i gotta stand by guy as well and he is well employed when i'm not in a relationship.