Stand By Sex: I Only Call You When I’m Bored

Posted in Rated Grown Up, Relationships, Sexual Intellectuals on Jul 13, 2009

Photo by Max V

Photo by Max V

 

Live from Atlanta, Georgia I an going to tackle a serious topic. One of my friends told me she was having a conversation about men, and how women should just give up the goods right away because other girls are doing it and that seems to be the only way to get their attention. Seemed like a logically thought after she broke it down. It’s like getting a 20 dollar an hour job offer. Sure it’s great but what if another company offers the same pay but with benefits from day 1? Which job are you going to take?

Then I received an email from a loyal reader asking me

 I’ve been noticing that more and more men are going towards the “easy chicks” or “whores” and making them their jump-offs instead of us regular chicks. What gives? Do I have to be a whore to get some vitamin D now?  This guy is super cute, and I keep hearing that he wants to hook up, but he’d rather go for this chick who’s slept with pratically ever guy she meets. Ick!

why don’t I have this guy? Everybody else says he’s just shy. I even got up the nerve to call him and let him know what’s up. I told him that I wasn’t looking for a relationship or anything, I was just trying to get some vitamin D. I even asked him if I scared him off, and he said no. We still hang out, I even went to his house and everything, but NOTHING HAPPENED! Do I have to resort to ho3 S#it?

My heart skipped a beat when I read this, at first I thought the price of p*ssy has plummeted, but then I remembered how many girls I want to just smash. Nothing is wrong with a woman simply wanting to have sex, but do you have to resort to hoe sh*t to get laid? Surely women are better than that. 

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  • shebaddd
    i must admit-i have a "call when bored" sex buddy. he knows i only call wen im bored and i know he only comes wen he has nothing else to do so its not that big of a deal. he comes over, we smoke a lil bit, fuck :), and thats it. after that we may not call each other for maybe another 3 or 4 months lol. doesnt make me a slut and it doesnt make him a bad person. we both get wat we want with no strings attached
  • biscuit
    i have one of thoes.. we might not talk for 2 or 3 months.. but when i get that text message or phone call i already kno whats up. thats all i want from him.. i dont want no relationship with that nigga at all.. it would be a waste of time.. ima come over the house.. smoke a lil bit.. do the do then leave.. i got wat i wanted now bye.. i dont even think i like him as a person anymore i just like the D
  • There's a saying "Never make someone a priority who only makes you an option." Not even gonna lie, I been the standby chic and I have a standby list. What's crazy is I have long term standbys - ppl who may not get it but once every other month or once every few years. Got a couple of standby on the 5+ year list but u better believe if I want it I can get it. :)
  • 404
    Yes & I didn't mind at all.

    It worked out well for the both of us.

    You scroll through that raggedy cell phone, two or three times, Anaconda ain't home, P*ssy Monster ain't home.......the LOVE BELOW starts talkin to ya....
  • immaculate721
    No!! Even if I wasn't a virgin (in which I am), I wouldn't lower my self worth to just be the call girl. Even though I'm young (21), I was taught standards and I was also taught that men respect standards. If a man really wants to be with you, he wouldn't waste your time in that matter and vice versa. I don't apologize for sounding like a 'goodie 2 shoes'. Life is too short for me to be a booty call for anybody! Besides, it's too much S.T.I.s, AIDS (I have a bad immune system anyway ick!), and babies without mothers and fathers to playing rushing roulette with my life. I have shit to do. LOL

    P.S.- I love your blog website and you should do T.V.! Hell they talk about sex, relationships, music, and celebrities, anyway.
  • smiley
    Oh hun, take a breather. LOL. Hopefully you'll wait till you get married but if you're planning to have sex before hand you should understand that no matter how high you place yourself, a lot of men won't place you as high as you want them to and the messed up part is that you might not even know that this is happening to you. Humans are funny that way. It's not really personal. It has nothing to do with you not being great. Sometimes a guy will just like you because your a good convo and everything else might lack a bit For Him. Not every guy is like this but don't get too hurt when you find out that you might be one of those girls to someone. It's like a friend that you would party with but not necessarily share secrets with. She's good for one thing and not for everything. And to tell you the truth, one day you'll might have a call guy and have no problem with doing that to a person.
  • nynikki
    I've flown stand-by involuntarily and I hated it...BUT, once I re-categorized the guy as my own stand-by it was much better for me. He didn't like it much, but he adjusted once he realized it meant less drama all around.

    To immaculate721: I have to say I held similar views at your age. Fast forward 15 yrs, and I understand that men, even when they like/love you, will do messed up things to you and the relationship (including wasting your time), because of their own issues. I also know that men in their 20's can respect you a lot and will still screw the neighborhood slut. Enjoy your youth, uphold your values, but don't forget to have fun and be safe.
  • Flying standby sux but it is what it is. We as women have our standby guys so why should we act too good when it comes to playing that position? There's always this type of double standard in male/female relationships that some people (i.e. the virgin) just don't understand.

    Reading this made me think about my standby and I realized that I'm prob his standby too...so???
  • immaculate721
    No, I understand perfectly. In MY CASE, I'm saying I can't be that call girl, because I don't want my time wasted on someone that I'm giving 110% to and he is not giving it back. That's it fine if that's what you want. That's your life. It is a lot of men that SAY they would mind being the call boy if you had to be the call girl, but the next thing you know he'll 'popping up' at your door trying to damn near kill your 'company' and you'll running in a nightrobe flagging down the police. All I'm saying is everybody ain't always playing their position.
  • MzzPeaches
    I had one dude who tried to fly me standby but I had to dead that shit real quick. Sorry, but I only do 1st class confirmed flights.

    On the other hand, I just got out of a 2yr relationship and right now I'm feeling vitamin D deficient. I'm dying to find one of my old bf's number so I can put him on standby, cause I don't feel like trying to put sum new dude in rotation. I need some "ol reliable" D right about now.
  • yes
    Maybe he was actually kinda feelin you on another level, but once you said you just wanted to get some he felt some kinda way and didn't want to be used, or maybe like Xilla said he's just not attracted to you sexually. Just move along. Obviously, if that didn't spark his interest he aint feelin it.
  • whatever09
    I got tired of being a standby sex chick for this dude. It seems like everytime we got together to do it, he always got his and but I was stuck trying to get mines. When he came, he never asked or even cared if I came and was satisfied. It was over and I was headed home without a smile on my face and still wanting more.
  • i've been on both sides before, but now at 15 i refuse to. niggas here are quick to put brown girls in tha "they ain' gettin checked so they should be EXCITED for the scraps" category. i'm cute, nice,will bussa head in stilletto platforms in a minidress w/o any nipslips or crackso'back, and i cooks a mean meal. what in that says settle. notta dayum thang! hehehe! i aggree tho. people need to know their role and play it well! when u step up outside ya place nothing good comes from that....
  • kema042290
    ur 15 y/o? if so, u need an education sweetie...not cute!
  • i got a stand-by, but she usually calling me... i ain't hollered at her in about 2-3 months now though... hmm.. should i? nah, it's too late 4am. maybe tomorrow... naaaaaaahhhhh.
  • hazysin
    Standby's...hmm. Ive had a few and i have definitely been a standby. Sometimes, its just better that way. My favorite "stand-by" is this guy name Ro. He's like 45 and a retire airman. OMG his stroke is mean, but we both have relationships so i only call him when im beef with my guy or he will ring if his 40y.o is being a bitch.
  • hazysin
    damn.So after commenting on this particular post, i remembered that i had a date with my stand-by. Man, cheating is pretty fucked up but nothing beats plain old experience!
  • Reptile214
    That relationship is a beautiful thing if you know and play your role. Everybody gets what they want. She gets D, and I don't have to hear her complain about her job, school, friends etc.

    It is a win win situation.
  • toocute2hav
    I have a standby .... I dont want a relationship right now..too much maintence.. I told him up front... I figured wed chat then commence to the sex...its working but now hes talkin this girlfriend ish, trying to give me the key and gettin mad cause I wont spend the night... SMDh we arent not in a relationship!!! I think hes catchin feelings
  • Tanishalee
    i gotta stand by guy as well and he is well employed when i'm not in a relationship.
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