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Pull Out the Hoe Card!
Posted in Rated Grown Up on 02. Jul, 2009
Written by Marvelous Mo for Blogxilla.com
What up Xilla Heads? My bad for not stopping by the comment section last week. Ya girl was preparing for her first trip to L.A. for the BET Awards [BIG SHOUT OUT TO XILLA!]. If you’re anything like me, then you leave packing ‘til the night before and buying toothpaste, toothbrushes and other stuff a few hours before your flight. Here in NYC, working as a writer and blogging on the side is a hustle like no other. I love writing, so that’s not the issue. It’s the politicking and staying professional that is a kicker. If you haven’t noticed within these past few weeks, I’m a hot mess.
I thought flying out to L.A. and keeping that same professional ethic would be a breeze, but boy was I wrong. While some of my home girls were encountering some of the corny dusty ass guys the West Coast could offer, I saw some fine ass guys left and right! I felt like I was in a dream with all these sexy men around me. Being that I’m a NYC girl, they were digging me, too. If you’re curious about some professional actors (obviously not on some Tom Hanks level) and musicians being a part of that collective, then yes (um, no name dropping. Fuck I look like, Super Head?). I praised the Lawd Jeeezus that I was on the menstrual because being that I was out of town, I was ready to pull out my Hoe Card.
Hoe Cards are like eggs in a woman’s ovaries, you’re born with it. This Hoe Card us women have is something we “pull out” when we are ready to do some hoe shit: one night stands, threesomes, fucking friend’s boyfriends, etc. and charge our actions to the game. You know, like a time card. Some of you slores discovered your Hoe Card when you were teens. Some women are such prudes, they don’t use it until they are in their 50s or Cougar/M.I.L.F. status. I never used my hoe card because I’m a freakin’ prude with freaky thoughts, but this weekend I instinctively reached for it to clock in on my Hoe’n time. By all means, having a Hoe Card isn’t a bad thing. While you’re single, you’re supposed to be clocking in your hours before you settle down. I’m kinda pissed I haven’t used mine yet, but that’s because I’m hella picky about my men (next week’s topic!).
I know for sure that if I weren’t on that cycle, I would have accrued some hours on my hoe card and left my secrets in L.A. for nobody to know…the way I like my B.I. to be handled!
Questions:
- How many of y’all discovered your Hoe Cards?
- What age have you discovered yours?
- How many hours do you honestly think you got on that card of yours?
- When do you think Hoe Cards should be revoked?
- Do you have a fond moment when you had your Hoe’n experience?
Disclaimer: Usually I trash you hoes who abuse your Hoe Card privileges, but today is your day to get down and share your stories. You know I’m bi-polar. One week I hate you, the other week I love you. LMAO! Nah, seriously, though. Share your stories if you feel what I’m saying!
LMAO WOW THIS INTERESTING WELL LET ME JUST SAY IM 23 I STARTED DATING WHEN I WAS 19 AND I WAS IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR 4 YEARS WE BROKE UP 8 MONTHS AGO. I BROKE OUT MY HOE CARD 3 MONTHS AGO ITS BEEN FUN BUT UNFORTUNATELY IM GONNA HAVE TO PUT IT UP CAUSE I JUST MEET THIS AMAZING GUY THAT HAS A LOT OF POTENTIAL. I WILL MISS IT BUT I KNOW ITS ALWAYS THERE LOL!!!!
A hoe card should be revoked when she thinks more about Metamucil than Method Man. lol!!!
I haven't met a man good enough to make me put my hoe card up lol
i've clearly discoverd my hoe card in college; lol
sad part is im only a sophmore; i gotta ways to go.
yoou know how when you swipe ur credit or debit card alot, and you get those distictive swipe marks, like obviously you use it entirely tooo much. welll my hoe card doesnt have those. ssry. lol
hoe cards deff should be revoked when ppl get pegnate; time to grow up boo boo; set an example; && by example i dont mean whore till they wont allow you any more abortions or offer you an overdose or birthcontrol. smh.
my fondest hoe card moment; why i cant explain that to you for i was verrry out of it off of what my lil friend likes to call “spruce juice”; from what i hear it was quite funny; hell i laughed at myself.
A hoe card should be revoked when you wanna have conversations when we should be f*cking!
No, excuse but I received my Hoe card genetically…all of my grandfather's descendants are proud card carriers, as he was himself a Platinum member. We embrace it, fighting against it only makes us feel unnecessarily guilty. I don't live off the card, but discovered the first hints of my “0-limit” charge account in college…I (successfully!!) suspended the account during marriage but since the divorce is almost final, every fuckable man I see now appears only as a “For Sale” sign. Can't wait for the “cha-chings”…
I discovered my hoe card right after I graduated high school. I had a wild 9-10 mos then “fell in love” lol for the last year at the age of 23 I been single and celibate while I wait for someone worth it… wow its tougher than you think…
I revoked my own hoe card and locked it in a safe deposit box becuase I realized that I should only have it out for hours at a time not for months lol….
I have a similar story to candyangel Im 22 been in a relationship for 4 years..(we had fun sexually) so I need some so I was about to put out the HOE CARD BUT the first guy I met he is digging me and Im digging him so I dont want sex to mess things up…DAMN!!!
*Raises Hand* – discovered mine in my mid-twenties and it is used sparingly
@ “a freakin’ prude with freaky thoughts” perfect description
A Hoe Card should be used the same way one should use their Credit Card: for emergencies and the “occasional” treat for oneself ONLY
Just like the credit card if one finds themself living off their hoe card that's a sign of trouble and they need a revocation and a time out for reflection
HUMMM NEVA THOUGHT BOUT HOE CARD
I DONT THINK I HAVE ONE…BUT I WANTT ONE SHIT
HOW I GET IT
IS THERE A CREDIT CHECK SHIT
CUZ FRM WHAT YALL SAYIN “IT SOUNDS POPPIN”
LIKE A MOMENT I COULD DO SOME HOE SHIT…AND IT BE OKAY HUH
NEVA NEEDED ONE THOU…LOST MY V CARD WEN I WAS 18 AND IM 19 TURNIN 20 AND BEEN IN A CONSTANT STEADY RELATIONSHIP EVA SINCE
BUT I HAVE THOUGHT BOUT FUCKIN AND CREEPING WITH OTHAS BEFORE…I GUESS THAT'S WHERE MY HOE CARD WOULD COME IN HANDYY
lmao @ credit check
If there was one a whole lotta people would get they credit limit decreased.
I second that.
early thirties.. been in relationship for 7 years…he messed up.. we broke up over a year ago.. never dated anyone.. met someone two months ago on a humbug…hung out very often.. gave it up.. he was just smiling.. me too.. he was good with the stick and the lick.. he pissed me off.. and I made sure to get prettied up… go over there and give him the business (as I didnt do nothing before when we got it on) like he had never had before AND EVEN treated him to some Tootsie Pop action (I hadnt gave him any of that yet)..he said I was the best he ever had..I thought he was just saying that until he repeated it several times after the do.. I laughed.. said I had to run.. and told him I would hit him in a few hours.stopped taking his calls…. he went to far with that..I just wanted to show him.. YOU GOT TO PAY THE COST TO BE THE BOSS!!! thats why they call me a THAT BISH…
hell if i wasn't married, i would be pullin mine out left and right lol. i see fuckables everywhere i go.
I haven't used my hoe card yet but it IS nice to know that I have it and can use whenever I please!
I think a hoe card should be revoked in the events of pregnancy, finding Mr. Right [or even Mr. Right Now], or being too old to even think about doing hoe ish!
THE DARK BLACK HOE CARD IS IN EFFECT…….NOW!!!!!
LLMMAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
I LOVE U BLOGZILLA…..this is the shyt people are scared to talk about!!!
I have been a long time Hoe Card carrier and proud of it…I don't use it often, but it is there in case of emergencies and those special moments when I can't help myself. Its been acutally months since I have used it and ladies let me tell u that when men say we have the gift its the truth! I haven't given my Baby Daddy any in about 2 months and since then he has been my damn ATM machine! If I knew it was gonna be like that I would have kept the cooch on lock a long time ago. LOL…they should make a song about the Hoe Card, it is truely a magical thing, if u don't abuse it.
@ candyangel23
girl it will ALWAYS be there! trust! lmao
A HOE CARD SHOULD BE REVOKED WHEN U UPGRADE TO PORNSTAR STATUS
Marvelous,
You are HILARIOUS!!! Have a wonderful weekend!
Thank god i dont use my credit card as much as i use my hoe card. i've never heard anyone acknowledge it before!
Well, I used my hoe card for the first time 2 years ago. I had a threesome with 2 guys. Great experience and i'd do it again with the right people… Too bad, no one has allowed me to bring it out again
Damn I'm jealous Always wanted to do two guys at once never did now I'm commited, shit. I never really used my hoe card but after I get divorced, lol I'ma max that shit out, they goin have to close my account I can see it now. Great post Mo
I'm waiting on next week topic, b/c I'm picky my damn self!
I'm waiting on next week topic, b/c I'm picky my damn self!
I found mine in Feb. when I broke up with my boyfriend [he was my first] and I'm 21. And I put it back up in April.
LMAO!!! HO-CARD!
I have not used my hoe card yet either. I guess I am like u and I am a freaking prude. I think I had several attempts to use my hoe card though…
Most of the time I am in a relationship and my conscience wont let me cheat. Other times it be because Aunt FLow came (which was a warning).
I guess if I was in your situation and seen all these fly dudes like you did, I would use mine. Guys use their hoe cards all the damn time!!!
Maybe one day I will use it, but with the right person. And strap up…I am not gonna be a nasty hoe.
Oh and I also have the fantasy of doing 2 men. 2 sexy men who are straight!!!
I think that is when I will use my hoe card. LOL Xilla this sounds like a new posting for next week :::hint-hint:::
Guys arent the only ones who want 3somes. Kbizzle you are the ish for actually doing it!!
I AM NOT ASHAMED TO SAY THAT IN MY 28 YEARS I HAVE USED MY HOE CARD ON 3 OCCASSIONS AND IT WAS WELL WORTH IT!!
i've used mine a few times and i was proud of my conquests….i am sometimes fascinated with a good lookin dude, i mean almost perfect lookin dude, swag on point,perfect opportunity, and i just cant help myself… but ladies remember, if u choose to use your hoe card dont expect your wifey card to work too, gettin all attached and what not.enjoy the experience and whatever happens happens.