Pull Out the Hoe Card!
Written by Marvelous Mo for Blogxilla.com
What up Xilla Heads? My bad for not stopping by the comment section last week. Ya girl was preparing for her first trip to L.A. for the BET Awards [BIG SHOUT OUT TO XILLA!]. If you’re anything like me, then you leave packing ‘til the night before and buying toothpaste, toothbrushes and other stuff a few hours before your flight. Here in NYC, working as a writer and blogging on the side is a hustle like no other. I love writing, so that’s not the issue. It’s the politicking and staying professional that is a kicker. If you haven’t noticed within these past few weeks, I’m a hot mess.
I thought flying out to L.A. and keeping that same professional ethic would be a breeze, but boy was I wrong. While some of my home girls were encountering some of the corny dusty ass guys the West Coast could offer, I saw some fine ass guys left and right! I felt like I was in a dream with all these sexy men around me. Being that I’m a NYC girl, they were digging me, too. If you’re curious about some professional actors (obviously not on some Tom Hanks level) and musicians being a part of that collective, then yes (um, no name dropping. Fuck I look like, Super Head?). I praised the Lawd Jeeezus that I was on the menstrual because being that I was out of town, I was ready to pull out my Hoe Card.
Hoe Cards are like eggs in a woman’s ovaries, you’re born with it. This Hoe Card us women have is something we “pull out” when we are ready to do some hoe shit: one night stands, threesomes, fucking friend’s boyfriends, etc. and charge our actions to the game. You know, like a time card. Some of you slores discovered your Hoe Card when you were teens. Some women are such prudes, they don’t use it until they are in their 50s or Cougar/M.I.L.F. status. I never used my hoe card because I’m a freakin’ prude with freaky thoughts, but this weekend I instinctively reached for it to clock in on my Hoe’n time. By all means, having a Hoe Card isn’t a bad thing. While you’re single, you’re supposed to be clocking in your hours before you settle down. I’m kinda pissed I haven’t used mine yet, but that’s because I’m hella picky about my men (next week’s topic!).
I know for sure that if I weren’t on that cycle, I would have accrued some hours on my hoe card and left my secrets in L.A. for nobody to know…the way I like my B.I. to be handled!
Questions:
- How many of y’all discovered your Hoe Cards?
- What age have you discovered yours?
- How many hours do you honestly think you got on that card of yours?
- When do you think Hoe Cards should be revoked?
- Do you have a fond moment when you had your Hoe’n experience?
Disclaimer: Usually I trash you hoes who abuse your Hoe Card privileges, but today is your day to get down and share your stories. You know I’m bi-polar. One week I hate you, the other week I love you. LMAO! Nah, seriously, though. Share your stories if you feel what I’m saying!
