6 Easy Steps To Bang A Depressed Chick

Posted in Rated Grown Up on Jun 19, 2009

Copy of perfect1

Written by Marvelous Mo for BlogXilla.com

“UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH Na na na na!” When I wake up in the morning and I’m feeling extra happy and I feel that I have no limits to my life, I automatically sing that in my head. What are some things that make me feel good about life? Conducting interviews and pieces people really enjoy, hearing great words from my colleagues, good penis, delicious left overs…you get my point. One thing that is definitely not appreciated on a daily basis that we are all guilty of is love from a parent/relative. Specifically, my father. The man has been with me since I took my first breath on this planet & is still supporting my dreams and encouraging my ambitions. So, I guess to add to that list of “things that make Mo feel good” is being loved by my father. This Sunday is a day for all fathers and father figures in your life, hopefully they are alive and well to share it with. If not, well, this world is about to get nuked by North Korea anyway so it looks like he’s in a better place after all.

Sorry, ladies. I’m totally not on your side this go round on Blogxilla.com. I want to acknowledge all the fly papas/suave papis/sexy daddies/single fathers out there who is about to get some major pussy in the coming days. I tweeted on Twitter a few days ago: “next sunday will expose all the chicks who have daddy issues. Guys, gear up. she might let you smash because she’s an empty soul.” For father’s day, take some desperate, depressed, low self esteem pussy down after you drop your kids off at their mother’s house. Matter fact, if that chick is your baby’s mother, tell your mother to watch the kids. Let’s face it: some of you hoes have daddy issues. We spoke about this, so I won’t beat a dead horse this go-round. Needless to say, Father’s Day will make you chicks feel:

  • -sad/angry
  • -unwanted
  • -in need of attention
  • -empty
  • -depressed
  • -useless
  • -like a failure
  • -numb

…do i need to continue? Fellas, isn’t that the PERFECT time to dip your stick in a chick? She’s vurnable & angry needing a quick fix or a hug saying, “Can you make me feel good?” Don’t be a noble stand up guy and say, “Sorry, you’re drunk/not in the right mind state. It wouldn’t be right to have sex with you at your weakest time.” No! You don’t say a fucking word. You just take that snatch down like your fucking for your freedom.

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  • lisa
    You are HILARIOUS. But seriously, I went from feeling warm and fuzzy about my dad to literally laughing out loud at some of that (throw her off the bed like dirty socks? Omg, when I pictured that in my head, I even heard the thump when said girl hit the floor). But look at ms. mo giving away all the secrets! I'm not gonna lie, those steps will get the job done. But don't you think good fathers deserve great sex on father's day? He shouldn't have to lift a finger. Anyway, I really enjoy your articles and I just have one question: do you write the way you talk? It seems like it. Either way you are so funny
  • 200
    Its so sad how this broad "went there" in this blog... Sham Fucking Wow n Why? Regardless happy Fathers day to all, mothers included. R.I.P to my deceased father, grandfather and all other fallen soldiers who left children...Mo u could be punched dead in the face for this..people loose fathers everyday. Not to mention u made a remark on North Korea blastin us out....Kids will not be with fathers and might loose some while fighting for this country this weekend!!!


    MO Your a jerk. Xilla..she need more people.


    200
  • damn
    Wat about if you aint got kids do i go out with binoclurs looking for symtoms
  • Kesha
    So glad my daddy raised me and I don't have daddy issues...thank you Lord!
  • Oohkeekee
    wwwwwwwwwwwooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwww!
  • HappyToBeNappy
    Mo you off the chain. I never know what to expect from your posts. LOL
  • ArealWoman
    How fucking dare you! You have no idea what it's like growing up without a father.. And for you to actually sit and write this bullshit is truly low on so many levels. As a woman you disgust me. Grow the fuck up bitch.
  • bogart4017
    My---that was quite different. I've a feeling you will be seen as a traitor to your gender,
  • SuperFreshSteph
    I thought your blog was tight.. You wrote about something that's out of the norm and put a woman's perspective on something most men do/think 87.2% of the time anyway. My dad passed away when I was young and so you know I didnt take offense to your article. WHY? Because I know Im not one of those hoes you are writing about lol :)
  • chocolatecity
    Damn this is cold...but i sure will try it though..lol
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