[BlogXilla] Dot Com

I enjoyed this piece. I would tell my partner I cheated because i wouldn't think its fair not to. Loving someone is a decision and in witholding that information, i am making the decision for you.

I also have a conscious and i ust don't have the memory to keep up with the shenanigans.

yeah thats one thing every woman need and that's a choice. I don't really need a choice for certain things... or at least i didn't. now i do, but i'll tell you that learning that a woman NEEDS a choice is the best thing i've ever learned.

I cosign on this, but in the words of the Incomparable Officer William Roberts

"The Truth is far more sinister"

lol

dope quote!

Woman ALWAYS find out. Well the only exception would be if the chick you slipping with has just as much or more to lose if her SO found out. Case in point: several yrs ago i got involved w/a bi-curious younger woman with a violent female lover. She never even told her best friend we were involved---thats something i have never ever witnessed!

yeah i know a woman like that... i KNOW she won't tell a soul! lol

I did cheat on my ex and I confessed out of guilt. A lot of people thought that I shouldn't have told him, but I had to tell him, otherwise the guilt would have eaten me up. We separated for 7 months and then we got back together, only to break up (for different reasons). Looking back on it, I don't know if I should have kept that to myself.

that's always a tough decision but it beats living with the guilt.

If I cheated on them, I would like to say no and that I wouldn't... But I think the guilt of it would ebb at me too too much, at least too much for me to handle, so I'd have to tell them no matter how scared or how much hurt it would cause at first.

I also think no matter how hurt my partner would be in the long run they would respect me for being honest...

hey heres a suggestion..... how about not cheating TBW.
Sexual flirting with others when involved and committed LMAO..mmhhmmmm OK, say your dude walked in on that conversation.......I'm sure that'd go over real well LOL and SMDH... I would hope most have better sense and character etc...

its not easy to look at, or find out... it actually pisses me off, but it's almost a given. I looked at it from the point of view of not being in the relationship and it's a lot of girls i flirt with, sexually that have men... like all of them. So I'm like this is really a normal thing... most girls do it, and thne i thought how many of my chicks do that shit behind my back? Probably all of them too.

Maybe i have trust issues and this is my way of dealing with it. eh!

Don't cheat and then there won't be anything to tell...

Everyone flirts innocently but there are different levels and extremes of flirting and most people know when they have crossed the line in regards to their relationship

i think the act of cheating is something u can get over the secrecy and loss of trust is what kills you

agreed. i'm more likely to forgive and try to work things out if he comes clean. there's nothing worse than looking like a fool, especially when everyone around you knows it and this is 2009. i refuse to die for love. i've had friends who exclusively dated married men and sometimes they were even friends of the couple. i could never do that to the person i love. and like u too, xilla i have a guilty ass conscience. i would probably have a damn nervous breakdown tryin to hide some shit. lol

on the flip side, i have never had someone come out and tell me they were cheating. i had one dude finally admit to it after i came to him with the evidence and as much as i cared for him there was no way i was going to work it out. the fact that he couldn't come clean even when asked let me know that he wasn't trying to work anything out. he was just trying to have it all

you probably have a guilty conscious because you date thugs and you know they'll go upside your head! lol just kidding.

lol i'm not fuckin witchu!!

i once told this guy that i was going with that i cheated, he still stayed with me..but it was me that ended the relationship months later, in fact i truly think i cheated on him as a way of him breaking up with me...anyhoo, im mos def not ready 2 be in a committed relationship...dude really tried 2 tell me that i couldnt go 2 the club, knee grow must be crazy..and this was b4 i cheated..anyhoo r relationship was doomed 4rm the start. just not 4 me...but i think honesty is the best policy

I'd rather cry at the truth then laugh at a lie. I've never cheated on anybody, don't have time to play those types of games. Unfortunately I was cheated on. I found out in a very public forum *Cue the dramatic musice Dahhhhhhhh!* What hurt most is that mutual friends were aware of it and kept it from me b/c
"We didn't want you to get hurt" I ended up leaving him and honestly leaving these "so called friends" too. Cheating will hurt no matter who ends up telling, but I think it should come from the cheater and not off the street or from friends.

well either way of leaking the truth, both of it will end up the same it all depends on how much your boo loves you is it enough to forgive or not.

No Xilla thats NOT the norm for me anyway in relationship or not..thats reserved for folk I am dealing with only, as far as the sexual flirting goes...but then I am a whole diff breed darling, I don't even put ideas like that in random mofos heads.....could be the type of women with whom you associate.
and possibly yes trust issues as a result..........the masses are trife 4 sho

Remember that song "I dont know know if your playing me, keep it on the low..." I forget who sings that at the moment but thats essentially what my bf told me. Kinda crazy.

Cheating requires too much...lying, sneaking around, covering up your tracks, etc... I don't have time for all that...

If you have to cheat, then that should be a clue to you that maybe (for whatever various reasons) you dont need to be committed to that person (yet, or ever).

'YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH' - SOMEONE SAID THAT... I CAN'T REMEMBER...


BUT ANYWAYS, IT ALL DEPENDS ON WHAT KINDA RELATIONSHIP YOU HAVE WITH YOUR PARTNER... BUT UH YEA 4 EVERYONE ELSE JUST DONT CHEAT SO YOU DONT HAVE TO SNEAK OR HAVE A 3 SOME WITH YOUR LOVER SO U CAN CHEAT RELATIONSHIP LEGALLY... LOL

- I WAS CHEATED ON BY A GUY I BEEN WIT FOR 4 YEARS... FOUND OUT THIS YEAR ON EASTER SUNDAY N DA JUMPOFF PREGNANT... BUT I WAS BEING DUMB... I KNEW HE WAS CHEATING...BUT I DROPPED HIM... ONTO BIGGER AND BETTER THINGS..

I told my current boyfriend that another guy and I kissed I'm glad I told b/c all the past relationships where the guy cheated on me I wish they would have told me instead of his lies catching up on him or just leave me in the wondering.

So saturday night I'm "slightly" intoxicated(lol) in the car on the way home from a night of clubbing and as I went to update my twitter I saw this link and it piqued my interest... so I clicked on it. As I read it, I grew more and more upset, probably because I was tipsy and was tapping into all those not so burried past experiences. I wasn't upset so much at what you wrote because you're not condoning unfaithful behavior, I was more upset with how many people responded saying that they had cheated. I immediately tried to comment then, but luckily I couldn't figure out how to comment from my Bberry because my response would of been more of tipsy ramblings than anything else. Take it from someone who has been cheated on It might possibly be the worst feeling ! It's like having your whole world turned upside down while you're being turned inside out.... My take on cheating is this.......
I strongly feel that I am more than enough for any guy on an intellectual level as well as sexually, Therefore there will never be a good enough excuse someone can give me for why they cheated to allow me to overlook it. However honesty is key it may not always reverse the effects or save the relationship but I have WAY more respect for the man who cheated on me and is willing to accept responsiblity for his actions than the guy who can look me in the eyes everyday knowing what he's really doing on the DL. I spent 3 years in a less than perfect relationship, but like many females I liked to think that I could be the one to change him and though he did reform his ways in MANY he inevitably backslided. We can't make someone something they're not just like we can't expect much from those who don't have the depth to give it. I also feel that it shouldn't take seeing the immense hurt you've caused someone, (though that can sometimes be an awakening), to know what you're doing is going to crush you're bf/gf/wife/husband. I mean we look at fire and know not to touch it because it's hot. Why can't we than appply that same method of thinking to not cheating? When I'm with a you and you've got me sprung than I am completely blind to the guy who tries to spit game at me when you're not around. We are all sexual beings who are looking for a counterpart to share intimacy with...but once we've found it why is it not enough ? Here's the thing I completely empathize with the husband whose wife is ALWAYS "too tired" or the girlfriend who got fed up with her boyfriends neglectful tendencies...but don't stray just know when to call it quits. Basically If I have a man and I'm even thinking about being with another person that means you're not keeping me satisfied on any level emotionally or physically...that doesn't make me want to cheat, It makes me realize that our relationship has reached the end of it's run....and all there'll be left to say it "PEACE OUT"