Comments on: Daddy Issues pt 2: “Jump off Gone Bad”

By: [BlogXilla] Dot Com | I Pissed On Her Because I Loved Her

[BlogXilla] Dot Com | I Pissed On Her Because I Loved Her — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 06:34:56 +0000

[...] probably a bit too much information, but a website broke down this fetish of urine and being called daddy, so I thought I’d [...]

By: ms_micia

ms_micia — Sun, 17 May 2009 23:23:36 +0000

Mmmmkay ppl lie. Lets jus get that straight. Ppl lie for many and varied a reason, some they
think is legitamized by the fact that the child is young, or the person can't handle it, and
on and on and on. As someone who has learned very well from my parents and other
adults that lying is the best course of action to protect someone's feelings, I have been
putting it into practice for years. Until I realized that that shit is the worst thing u can do
to a person. Giving them honesty even it is put upon them with kid gloves is better than
not giving it at all. Honestly eleveates alot of bullshit and it also gives ppl the gift of truth
and ppl always appreciate that more than telling them a lie that they must cope with later
once they find out the truth. Communication is the key to every relationship...so be honest
with one another. It will make for a much better life.

By: Bon

Bon — Fri, 15 May 2009 17:35:22 +0000

Great post. Excellent comments. My father was absent truly because he didn't like my mother anymore and I think never liked kids but just the idea of a wife and kids. She never spoke bad about him until I got grown to see some of the things he did to her (cheating, lying & avoiding responsibility) to me (saying this and doing the opposite). When I told her about it then she spilled the past. I commend her for not speaking bad until I saw it. She always left the ball in his court to eventually make him look bad because she knew he wouldn't come around. They finally got a divorce after me and my brother simply said we get whats been going on so end it. I learned from this that kids ain't for everyone and in case you have a kid with these types of people… move around. Give them the option and if they choose not to be around leave the door open so the kids can see what is happening. Kids are smarter than some parents realize. Its not the mothers decision unless the dad is violent or “weird” to keep them away.

By: Courtney B.

Courtney B. — Fri, 15 May 2009 17:21:29 +0000

I have only recently parted ways with my sons father. I do take blame for my part in the situation; I didn't trust him. He's cheated on me multiple times and done things that shall remain nameless. However, I did love him and always will, but to bring a child up in a home like that would only perpetuate the cycle. I do not and will not bad mouth my son's father to him. What's the point? If a woman feels the need to do that she needs to take a second look in the mirror and ask herself…”why am i trying to ruin my child's life, because i let a man ruin mine?” Children are innocents…no matter how bad they are : )…the point is…they didn't ask to be here…and it's our responsiblities as women and mothers to be strong and teach our children to be strong. Bad mouthing your baby daddy and not taking responsibility for your actions will only create another man to do the same thing to another woman that his father did to you. Grow up women…and men…yes, you know you need to be in your child's lives. Otherwise don't be mad when another man steps up to the plate and your child calls him “Daddy.”

By: panamanianbeauty

panamanianbeauty — Fri, 15 May 2009 08:21:06 +0000

i understand what you are saying in the article that we BOTH SEXES fuck up and in some situations a child is created, but then again WE AS WOMEN may fuck up but we dont ABANDON our children do to that so MEN shouldnt be excused to leave their child for that reason, there is no reasonable reason for a man to walk off PERIOD. if the woman is crazy and you cant deal with her, you take her to court and try to get custody of your child. Black society in general gives OUR MEN free passes to walk away because we dont expect them to be their because we are used to it…as a woman older now, i dont care if my mom was a hoe in her past or not she STILL RAISED ME AND DIDNT ABANDON ME, so there is no excuse why my father wasnt there period. IT TAKES TOO.

By: magoo

magoo — Fri, 15 May 2009 08:10:20 +0000

I'm not sure if someone brought this up but something else that bothers me is the woman who f*ck with these dudes that they know aren't sh!t. Yes, there are deadbeats out there but more often then not you already know or he's given indication that he ain't sh!t and you continue anyway, I didn't believe it until I actually seen it first hand, that sh!t is just ridiculous.

By: whit

whit — Fri, 15 May 2009 05:10:01 +0000

The blame game going on her is laughable at best. In every relationship, both parties will make their fair share of mistakes. But the children, both parties have contributed to that. Now, whatever problems, conflicts and the lack post- child don't have any bearing on either party being responsible for their progeny. You don't have to like the other party to take care of your fucking child. The sheer nerve of you to bash the mothers. Who else would have been there to raise the child if the mother hadn't owned up to her poor decisions? Should she have strolled the fuck off so cavalierly as the sperm donor? Whatever mistakes or lapse in judgments she made in dealing with the gentleman at hand were redeemed when she stepped up to the plate and raised that little crumb snatcher by herself. I mean what a slap in the face, the nerve of you to come at the only person who sacrificed to put food on the table. The mother (however poor her judgment) is the one washing the kids ass and going without to make sure that the child has. Did you ever consider that the child notices the father isn't there? Maybe he wonders why his mother is busting her ass to provide the most basic of creature comforts, while his father “dotes” on the child with his sporadic presence. I normally just visit and never leave comments, but being the successful college grad (currently in law school) who was raised by my mother, I absolutely abhor your reasoning on this post. My mother never spoke ill of her ex husband, but being the rational child I was I noticed he wasn't disabled or anything, he just chose to treat his nose over taking an active part in our lives.

By: Ooze Chatterdoll

Ooze Chatterdoll — Fri, 15 May 2009 04:54:35 +0000

You want honesty? Call me crazy, but most of the time, the mothers of these absent fatger children use the child(ren) as a pawn to keep the daddy around. I've witnessed this much too often. Granted, both parents are responsible for rearing their offspring, but hell, sometimes the child is better off without the father. Trust me, I know!

Mammas, do the best you can with what you know. And stop playing those damn games…lol

By: The Jaded NYer

The Jaded NYer — Fri, 15 May 2009 02:40:29 +0000

That's a good question... one of the main reason's I finally got the divorce is because I didn't want my daughters to think it was OK to stay in a bad situation. We tried counseling and it didn't work, so the next logical step was separation and then divorce. I know the girls were hurt initially that the family broke up, but I know in the long run they will realize that their father and I tried to salvage the relationship but in the end, for everybody's well-being, divorce was the better option.

I can understand you being upset with your mom but she has her reasons I suppose. You can never really know what's going on in someone's mind or heart.

Since you are an adult now, I think it's OK, if you haven't already, to RESPECTFULLY approach you parents about how you feel (and I say respectfully 'cause I'd hate for my advice to get you an ass-whooping!! lol) and just RESPECTFULLY call them on their actions/behavior and how it affects you and your siblings. RESPECTFULLY! lol

By: HeadMistress

HeadMistress — Fri, 15 May 2009 00:53:54 +0000

UGH!

@ Nspirin – it sounds like someone may be angry that you want to be a part of your son's life but don't necessarily want to be with her

There are so many chicks that use their kids against the father simply because the man no longer wants them and women like that are worse than deadbeat fathers

A deadbeat makes a personal choice to be that and no one has control over that but them, but when a mother chooses to deprive her child of the love and contact with the father out of spite or to punish him over a relationship he no longer wants that is beyond low!