The Most Embarrassing Things Happen During Sex

Posted in Rated Grown Up, Sexual Intellectuals on Apr 21, 2009

embarrassed

Before I had my website I used to blog on myspace and every so often a female would make me an offer I couldn’t refuse. Which ended up being my most embarrasing sexual moment ever!


Long story short this lovely thick girl who just so happened to live around the corner from me in Atlanta wanted to hook up with me. We conversed via messages, im and phone and one Sunday night we decided to go out. I took her to this little poetry spot in Atlanta. We had a great time. She had the nicest booty on the eastside of the A. After the night was over we got a bite to eat and headed back to my place. We started to kiss, next thing I had a handful of ass and a boob in my mouth. The manxilla was hard as a rock. I pretended to need a break, I walked into the back to get a rubber and when I got back we were at it again. I was about to sleep with one of my readers. I pulled her panties off and fingered her, her moans sounded like sweet music being played in a semi drunk state of mind. Then I reached in my pocket pulled out the condom opened it and realized I was only half hard.

I tried to roll it on anyway and it just wasn’t working. She was determined and she put her mouth to work, it was great head, but the manxilla still wouldn’t pay any attention. All I could think about was the legend of BlogXilla is now tarnished. She was sucking and sucking, and I can’t remember if I came or not, but if I did… she doesn’t know that I did, I may have ran to the bathroom with my nut in my hand… (Pause) Needless to say this was my most embarrassing sexual moment. I never attempted to make up for it either. We just couldn’t connect. I did go over her house late one night, and we were interrupted by her daughter waking up and her male friend popping up at her house. Maybe those were signs. Who knows. 

I did ask some of my twitter/facebook friends what were their most embarrassing sexual moments and they have me topped by a lot. Trust me when I say this is some of the funniest stuff you’ll ever read.

To Continue Reading Click The Next Number: 1 2


Other Great Topics:


Tags: , , , ,

Did You Like This Post? Share It With Your Friends.


submit to reddit


Add to Google Reader or Homepage Add to My AOL





  • streetz
    thats some real nasty sh*t, lol
  • which one?
  • streetz
    That Diarhea joint made me vomit, lol jk. That ish is nasty though..

    I think the embarassing moment was children walking in on me when I was slaying the vajayjay. I had to pull a Metal Gear Solid move, hide behind the wall, while pushing shorty towards her child so she didnt see me and only saw mom. We got out of that without scarring her child for life. Applaud me!
  • nspirin
    a good tuesday morning reading good work.
    lmao @ eric knocking himself out on the headboard though, and the chick gettin her wig knocked off...priceless.
  • yea there are some funny ones... you should share you experience though! lol
  • nubian
    Ok, here goes... I was pushing and throwing it towards heaven. It was soo good. But I must have lifted the wrong way bec somehow, air got inside of me. I felt it going in and knew whatever goes in has to come out. I was so terrified that he would think I was farting when the air came out that I unconsciously stopped moving. He lifted my legs and asked if I was alright but before I could answer, all the air came out of me. He was brutal in that he did not let the moment just ride, he stopped, pulled out, and looked at my stuff like "DAG"!!! I hate him!
  • lorddalord
    Let me know when you are having sex with your girl and her moms opens the door and seems more pleased than upset. Till this day her moms still greets me with big smile and i'm not with her daughter anymore.
  • Sexy N Sassy
    It sounds like the mom might want you to hit it! LOL
  • bogart4017
    She said "let up-i'm gonna come". I raised up, she touched herself and squirted all over me. Im drenched from shoulder to knees with a raging hard-on going "you got a towel or something?"
  • you don't stop! you keep going. hug her real close and make sure the moisture gets all over her too! lol
  • Art2dope
    LMAO thats hilarious.... OH MAN! straight gave her a hug with all that on you!
  • AGK
    LMAO, this is sooo funny!!! xD
  • Breezy
    lolol..those are too funny.
    we were about to 'do the do' and as he is getting on top of me and decides to fart. totally killed the mood..but we were able to joke about it later. lucky for me, nothing embarassing has happened yet on my part (crosses fingers)
  • see as you say that the next time... lol knock on wood
  • MissBeasley
    OMG I am WEAK at ole girl talking bout she fainted. Too freaking funny.
  • ms_shai
    Wowzers, about 3 of these done happened to me already.
  • babydoll
    No one wants to share experiences on here?!?! Well i will start, I was giving head to my bf in college, he didn't tell me he was coming and as i inhaled, sucked it up (on accident) and accidently blew it out my nose. Yes nut came flying out my nose, and i ran to the bathroom and was blowin my nose for like 30 min. straight. It felt like i had a sinus infection.

    The worst: A guy was giving me head and my period came 2 days early......
  • Dee
    That is just nasty! Who really wants to hear that shit?
  • babydoll
    Yes, it is nasty and embarrassing! Just sharing, that is what this post is about, if you don't like what u see, keep it moving chick. Its not that hard.
  • 1MSGP1
    OMG. I feel so bad for you. But I think your story is in my top 5. It was hilarious.
  • Iash
    When I was younger and stupid-er I found myself goin down on this dude, I remember White Chicks was on. Anyway i'm handling the situation when his mother (old ass, last Italian still in the neighborhood) busts the door in, screeching about God knows what. Alls I know is that I stayed real still* and prayed that that movie aint go to commercial, cus then the TV would light the room and if she aint get a good look at my nekkid black ass she certainly would after that. Anyway she left and I had to hide in his room until she went to sleep, I was laughin my ass off and he felt some type of way about that. So that ended that relationship. ohh well

    * the whole time I was thinkin bout that episode of the Wayans Bros. when Shawn and Marlon was up in the landlords wife's penthouse and they had to pretend they was African statues so they wouldnt get caught. Can't say coonery aint never got me out of a jam.
  • Giggles
    This is straight up HILARIOUS!!!! I really needed that laugh too!
  • Art2dope
    wow i remember at one point i couldn't get mine up either.... but those made me feel alittle better.

    I guess i remember once or twice i came quick or what not... but nothing as drastic as these people lol

    there should be a Americans funniest home sex videos!
  • I don't know if it was an embarrassing moment for me....lol

    But I was giving this guy a hand job b/c I didn't want to suck him off.....and we were laying down while I was doing it...and he didn't tell me tht he was about to come and he came in my eye...lol...

    That was the worse feeling every trying to clean it out lol. (needless to say, we never slept together after that) lol.
  • outofyourmind
    The same thing happened to me. I was doing a BJ and backed up but I guess I didn't move fast enough. I was crying like a baby and screaming "I can't see". LOL! I had to use some eyedrops though. My man felt so bad.
  • Well at least ur dude felt bad.....I don't think mine realized what happened b/c he was so twisted lol....

    And I think part of him felt that (I got what I deserved) b/c he was begging me to give him a BJ i/o a HJ lol......
  • hazysin
    damn cuzin....


    i remember about 2 years ago i was giving my bf a blowjob. He kept saying he was about to cum but i hadn't moved since i intended on catching it......

    i thought i heard my son coming up the steps, lifted my head up. I kept jerking and when i confirmed it wasnt my son, i turned back to resume what i was doing....only to be greeted with a load in my left eye!!!!

    i commend all pornstars....that shit burns like fire!!!
  • Hhahahahahahaha hell yeah.....its not laughing matter....lol

    See guys don't appreciate this ish we do for them....lol.

    We do got squirting in their eyes lol....
  • Womp 2x
    ...ummm one time me and a close friend were getting it on and we were going hard...I felt like I was bout to cum and I was trying to push him away...so I backed into him until we were on the other side of the room and like during that process I pissed on myself >:( his dumb ass thought I like had niagra falls pussy.
  • Womp 2x
    well idk if it was piss, cause it didnt smell like pee, but everything was drenched!!!!!
  • katchin05
    That (most likely) wasn't urine hun. You squirted. A lot of women don't know they can do it until it happens!
  • LMAO that wet fart was just an overdose. That takes the cake right there. Wow
  • HeadMistress
    These are funny as hell...

    My questions are: how do you even feel like f*ckin when you have the BG's?? if there is ever a time when you feel your least sexiest, wouldn't it be then??? and why would you attempt to take it in the ass???

    Bad Things Indeed! ROFLMAO
  • hazysin
    im right there with you on that one!
  • Breezy
    who should feel embarrassed when a dude can't get it up? i mean..is it dude's fault or the chick's? i never got that...
    anyone care to explain?
  • Eva
    yea this morning i could not STOP queefing idk wtf...
    & once i went over to this guys house he was super THICK and he eff'd the hell out of me not only did i wet up his grandmas couch i bled all over him not period blood!...he had to take a shower while i tried to clean the couch...meanwhile my ex called and i answered while he was in the shower of course...lol
  • TRJ
    These top my embarrassing moment
  • Jamie8706
    LOL @ TAMMY HE FARTED WHILE SHE WAS GIVING HEAD
  • chicityrita
    Ok.... my story is: My friend and I was getting ready to get it in. We had just left the club and he had bought like 5 bottle on Dom. I was wasted! He started giving me some head and I was all into that chit. All of a sudden I starting doing this jerking motion and I threw up all in his head and bed. I ran to the bathroom embarrassed and feel asleep with my head on the toilet. I woke up a few minutes later to him running bath water and grabbing me to undress me. We got in the tub together and we had sex after that. He changed the sheets and stuff while I was in the toilet.... lol
  • chicityrita
    I also have a question about how the heck do you sign up to have your avatar or pic appear?
  • chicityrita
    Never mind I got it.
  • Tht's embarrassing, but it ended in a cute way ...... :)
  • chicityrita
    Thank you Ness! I was holding my head between my legs hoping no one would ride my a**. LOL
  • No boubt...I really thought that was very nice of him to come in the bathroom, get u undressed and bathe you....and change the sheets while you was in the bathroom.....

    He would've got a lot of cool points with me for that one :)
  • 1MSGP1
    U threw up on him. OMG. Too funny. At least everything worked out in the end. WOW
  • dude i was screwing had a asthma attack while i was on top of him! I didn't know he was asthmatic, i kept going! i thought he couldn't breathe cuz i was putting it on him not cuz his throat was closing up. Dude damn near died....had to call paramedics and everything!
  • Dee
    Well i was with a guy that was 60 at the time and I fucked the hell out of him, fucked him so good he went to the hospital for a headache and it was a blood clot. That surely taught him a lesson dont fuck with no young pussy. Later on he said pusy brought me into this world and so i guess pussy can take me out
  • WOWWOWOWOW!!!! Tht's scary.........

    He should've told you and gave you a safety word or something lol.
  • LMAO, like DEAD @ safety word.
  • Dee
    He as unaware that he even had a blood clot on his brain, but like I said had he not been trying to keep up with my movement he probably would have not developed this condition. Hell I was with him for 11 years he is 64 now and I am 40 we have a nine year old son together.
  • Blacksand
    The same thing happened to me in college. A friend an I were getting it in. I mean we were all over the room. She pushed me down on the bed and was riding me when she came squirted all over me and had a damn asthma attack. I didn't know she had asthma!!!! All I could see was the whites of her eyes!!!!! Scared the crap out of me. The sex was good though!!!!!!
  • Dee
    angela if you are wanting to be my friend give me a e mail address
  • panamanianbeauty
    i peed in the bed after i had sex with my ex, i forgot to say i get urinary tract infections when i all of a sudden have sex after a long time.. i wet up the whole bed and he was sad for me, he just help me clean it and we fell back to sleepl
  • nubian
    You can stop that from happening by using the bathroom before and immediately after having sex. The friction of sex sometimes pushes bacteria into the urethra. If left there too long, it causes UTI's. Also, start taking cranberry tablets. They lower the ph of the vagina and keep bacteria from growing.
  • mr johnson
    dayum dee i need a sample of that ! u puttin og cats in the hospital lmao
  • Sexy N Sassy
    I was having sex and he was hittin it from the back and my draw string pony tail came off. I looked, pointed it out to him and we laughed and continue to do our thang. Our bond became stronger ever since.

    The other incident, I farted and it vibrated on his balls! LMAO It was one of those ones I couldn't hold in. He was feeling some type of way, but eventually got over it.
  • after the birth of my son, my husband and i waited for a month [yes ima hornbot] to have sex. I thought I was done producing milk. he goes to suck on my titay and milk comes out. he thought he was buggin and continue to suck some more and sure enough it was milk.

    ewww. he still loves me though.
  • outofyourmind
    LOL! Been there. My man just kept going with the flow.
    But ya'll got me rolling with these asthma attack stories. I used to have it so I can only imagine how serious it was. I do remember sometimes hyperventilating after sex though. I mean seriously, my man didn't know what happened. LOL! I guess the sex was just that damn good. : )
  • AGK
    This was one of the most hilarious (if not THE most hilarious) posts i've ever read!!!
    My God, kudos 2u! Lol
  • sassygurl814
    This post is friggin hi-la-ri-ous!!!! lmao. anyways i know im so late commenting but MY most embarassing sex moments was when one day i was getting fingered up my "other" pussy. i was sooooooo into it. i damn near broke his hand off with how i was fucking his finger. we both came to the conclusion that i like it better there than in other places. needless to say though, i ended up learning why it's important to clean out your pipes before you go up the other end. lmao. embarrassed does not even begin to describe how i felt after a couple small clumps fell out. i felt like crying. lol. he wasnt as bothered as i was though. we eventually got a good kick out of it after i calmed down.
blog comments powered by Disqus
← The Condom Drawer: Are You A Jumpoff?
Lil Wayne + Drake – I’m Going In (CDQ) →

  • You Avatar


  • roc%20nationQuantcast


    BlogXilla on Facebook