Is Unprotected Sex The New Marriage?

Posted in Rated Grown Up on Apr 10, 2009

Photo By Stunning Pix

Photo By Stunning Pix

Hmmm… Is unprotected sex the new marriage? Thats what an Oakland teenager had to say that has the world in a buzz. He suggested that “among his friends and acquaintances, ditching the condoms for the pill, signifies taking monogamy to a new level.” I thought about it, I looked at all my relationships and well I’ve always gone by that logic as well. Once the condom comes off we are together, and she graduated to the title of wifey.

Some said it was ‘mindless hip-hop MTV” and not intelligent information, but I think its just how people think in urban America. Its not like this is the first backwards ideology we declare gospel there are plenty. We’ll have oral sex with out protection but won’t have intercourse without protect, so we’ll rather eat the disease… Yeah genius.

Now, I do believe that having unprotected sex does build a certain level of trust between partners that doesn’t come natural. Sex in general is a crap roll with your life, and a lot of men and women are gambling with their life, hoping they don’t come home with something that doesn’t go away. So how many times have you been married?


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  • Lili
    Xilla, why are you reposting?

    Anyway, this was an interesting topic...I'm kind of glad you did repost it.


    Going by this post...I've been married once, and it's not happening again until I actually AM. lol

    It's so dangerous to put your life and health in the hands of another person, no matter how much you love them. I (and he) lucked out...we were clean and decent and were able to trust each other in that respect. But I will never lose myself that much to go there again.

    If you keep playing that game, statistically, you're guaranteed to catch something that will last longer than your relationship.
  • busy day. sorry
  • bogart4017
    Its too dangerous these days. Been married since '83 so i missed that whole condom game...but i'm glad i wasn't ever put in a position to play russian roulette with my dyck as the .45 calibur.
  • Ummmmm I don't think I'm going to listen to a TEENAGER saying that raw sex is the new marriage.

    Raw Sex is the new way to die....(sorry to be Debbie Downer) but it's true.

    Even oral sex is dangerous when doing it w/o a condom or dental dam
  • Lili
    Veeeery true. Protection is necessary but you also have get those papers before ANYthing goes down.


    And...wtf? Nothing can be the "new" marriage. Marriage is marriage is marriage. Raw sex might show your trust, or how horny you are, but it doesn't signify life long commitment...I'm glad I never made such silly statements as a teen. I swear. He should be slapped.
  • Yeah....I thought getting papers would help and it does to some extent. But someone advised me that if someone has HIV and they're taking their meds, their HIV test can come back negative b/c their 'count' is down b/c they're taking medication.

    So even w/ tests, there is still a loop hole for error.

    And I agree, noting is marriage except for marriage and even then, it's still unsafe b/c some ppl who are married don't act like it and they're out sleeping w/ any and everybody.

    Yeah, that teenager should be slapped.
  • HeadMistress
    Well twin I guess this'll make me Donna Downer but people need to realize that not even "real marriage" can keep you safe because people do cheat on their spouses and don't always protect themselves...

    All sex is/has the potential to be dangerous, married or not... :-(
  • Debbie and Donna Dower is in the building! :)

    But it's so true, like I said to Lili, you can't even enjoy marriage b/c ppl are out cheating on one another so it's still dangerous.

    In a perfect world, it would be ideal to be able to trust someone but in this day and age, where mistakes and slip up are so common, it's hard to put ur life in another HUMAN BEINGS hands just b/c you're married.'

    Sex is just so crzy nowadays....like we said b4, it's almost worth giving up.
  • Thoney Gangstasweet
    amen! this mess is stupider than that chick that be tryna get me up on here! lmao! i really think that raw is the new marriage but i'd never go there. i watched two family members die of aidsand its not cute! EW! wear rubbers unless u wanna make a baby, then get tested and put 'em back on...
  • Really...u think raw is the new marriage.....?
    Why.....(just curious)

    It's so crzy b/c for most of your sex life, you wear condoms b/c you don't want to get an std or get prego and you hope that when you get married, you can take the condoms off b/c you would thing that you and your partner will be faithful to one another. I've gotten so used to having protected sex, but I would LOVE to be able to experience the way it's supposed to be and that's skin on skin, but that would only happen w/ my husband (IF AND ONLY IF HE'S WORTHY)
  • Thoney Gangstasweet
    mmm why? well amongst the kids i work around it's seen as a right of passage. you are officially the wifey, hubby, main, etc if ur going raw. its a sign of committment...sistafriend don't take my aggreeing with the statement as acceptance of this monkeyDOODLEfoolishness....chile? i'd rather not fart out my vagina because of 1 random romp! yaDIIIIIIG! it bothers me that this is the new sign of committment, but i honestly don't think there's anything that can be done to change people's minds... it is what it is at this pt. all we can do is wrap up our own stuff and pray for the best!
    bloggin my life,
    Dani Downa
  • Oh okay, I thought u agreed w/ the statement tht the teenager made b/c that's how you felt also. But now that you explained it, I know what you meant.

    I think that something can change, but it's up to the parents. My mother sat me down and spoke to me about sex once she found out I was having it. She told me that I can come to her for anything. And I also had cousins who educated me. My friends and their sexual interactions didn't have an influence on me. My family influence did.

    Nowadays, parents don't talk to their kids about sex anymore, they let other ppl influence their kids. I felt closer to my mom after she decided to be cool about me having sex and understanding how to help me do it safely.

    Hi Dani..... :) Debbie, Donna & Dani :)
  • Lili
    Yea...in HS my friends were all so shocked that my mom talked to me about sex, but her candidness kept me a virgin until college. Even now she still tries to talk to me...lol But sex is no different than anything else in life- you have to be informed to make wise decisions.
  • Thoney Gangstasweet
    i think thats SOOOOOO DOPE how ur moms talked to you about sex. my parents talked to me about sex also.l think that's why i'm so open and not afraid of likle exploring and whatnot. oprah had a REALLY good episode on "the talk" and clearly being honest and gettin it out there is the best thing for the yungins!

    its really retarded how the media is shaping our kids thoughts about sex....a love how i can have these candid convos with the kids i mentor. i'm honest about how weed won't killem quick as sex might and about how all this havin babies at 12[yes 12] and going raw to show u love 'em is friggin dumb....plus i look young so they relate to me most of the time.[cept when i'm "lookin like erykah badu wit that mushuroot stuff on"] hehehehee :P
  • I've been married once, thank god!!!
  • panamanianbeauty
    the third time i had unprotected sex i got pregnant ouch..and it is worse because he isnt a pull out type of guy..i wish i would have known before yuck
  • TheWiz
    I've been "married" twice
  • Yeah....(I bet) lol....

    Just kidding man! :)
  • TheWiz
    LOL
  • BK
    ignorance. Safety first muther fuckers. This is why you can't even get it in anymore. Too many diseases and loose booty's LOL
  • dudedatlikesdikk
    Hmmm.... It sounds ridiculous but true. I hope none of you will judge me when I say that yes, when I feel "comfortable" enough and trusting enough with the dude that I've been seeing for a while, I'll let him go raw.
  • Thoney Gangstasweet
    i'm not judging you but understand that we belong to a youniquely dangerous demographic lova.... our kind are getting aids quicka den the rest....since u don't run the rick o' gettin preggo wrap it up! there are some darn good condoms out there.... how would you tell your people. " soooo i fugged myself to death... no seriously i caught the aids cuz it had ta feel good!"
  • Urban America???? Sheeeeeit white people feel the same way!
  • That's sad...but yes this is a common practice amongst urban folks. That once you become "sexclusive" then the condom comes off problem is all these unwed mothers, and ramped disease running loose because not everyone is truthful and I doubt before you take that crap roll people are getting tested. It's reckless to endanger ones self needlessly!
  • ThickiC$C
    Mann that is bullshit
    i live pretty close to oakland and have talked to a few dudes from oakland and they were not cautious whatsoever i had to tell them to use a condom and we definitely weren't committed. In fact, i had to get rid of one of them because he refused to use condoms and only liked to pull out...thats just another way guys try to game girls thats why there are more baby mamas than wives because females actually fall for that bullshit smgdh
  • sharde
    repost. next!
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