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Tyrese: Lies + Cheating
Posted in Relationships on 09. Apr, 2009
@tyrese4real gave some pretty damn good advice to all the ladies who follow him on twitter. Someone posed a question to him, and he answered it the realest way possible. I thought it should share it with yall.
Why do Men choose a Lie over Truth when both get you the same result??
His Answer: A MAn is ONLY gonna speak what you make him feel comfortable with Speaking.. You can”t attack a man for the truth and Expect the TRUTH.. ( IN A WOMEN’s YELLING VOICE ) Who is she? Huh?? Tell Me Who is SHe? And you expect me to tell you the TRUTH shit you Already MAD!!! My Advise to women! The Truth Hurts I know.. But In order to get it.. Make a man feel comfortable with telling you the truth and Wallah!! Last but not lease.. NOT ALL MEN LIE AND CHEAT.. But most of us DO.. Ladies you LIE and CHEAT TOO DAMMIT!! Your Just BETTER at it shit!
After his very sound advice to the ladies he posed a question, which I answered under the cut: “Is Cheating Mental or the Physical Act?? Or Both??”
I think cheating is both mental and physical and not everyone catches or realizes that. It’s mental because it breaks down your lover, their ability to trust is broken down or all together lost. It ruins people and turns them into a cheater. They begin to think I better cheat before I get cheated on or worst. The opposite sex ain’t sh!t. Also depending on who you cheat with it could be even more mental. Case in point a reply to Tyrese’s twitter
Yeah most women do cheat!! The difference is women usually are cheating with their mans friend so they never get caught.
In this case it’s 100% mental. A complete mind f*ck, because your trust is attacked from both sides, from a friend and a lover. It’s also mental because cheating doesn’t have to be physical, it could be as little as flirting, a pat on the ass or a kiss. A wink that really means “if I would have meet you first you could be the one enjoying the manxilla all night long instead of your homegirl, if we break up call me.”
Cheating is physical because of the obvious reasons. It could be 100% physical and be done only because of the attraction you have towards a person. Nothing more, nothing less. It’s done because you want to do it, and know or think you can get away with it, and in most cases… We do get away with it.
How would you answer these questions?
I don't understand the concept of cheating. If I want someone else to do what you are not, why do I need you?
consider your self lucky you don't understand it and don't even try too.
but its because most times cheating is done out of greed. People think they can get away with something and everyone wants their cake and eat it too…
I mean its almost impossible to find someone who can complete you. And even if you do you still want more. Look at the economy and the people who ruined it. The filthy rich wanted to get even more money… Its that concept. Other times it just happens and you find yourself in love, sometimes with 2 or more people and you don't want to hurt the other person. Both of these questions go hand and hand.
“but its because most times cheating is done out of greed.”
So you put at risk something you want, for something you don't even know that you want? Maybe I think to logically, lol. But that does not make sence.
And you will spend more time and energy trying to hide something, then realizing is it worth it?
I disagree wholeheartedly with you on this…”I mean its almost impossible to find someone who can complete you.”
This is the basic concept of male female relationships. Attempting to find that one who does. And when that happens: 1. the cheating will stop 2. you will please your partner sexually, 3. you will fight for the check, 4. Bringing him his plate is a joy for the woman and all the other things you have posted about being wrong with the male-female relationship.
And you cannot be in love with 2 people at the same time, hell you can even have two complete thoughts at the same time. Google the bottle-neck theory. LOL!!
Cheating is a metaphysical act. I don't consider it a physical act b/c it's usually premeditated. It could only be physical if someone you've never met before in your life SUDDENLY pops up in front of your face naked. In that case it's possible that your instincts could drive you to make a move before you can actually put a thought together. On average a cheater plots & schemes which involves the mind. You come up with excuses so your significant other won't become suspicious. You do other things like by nice gifts to cover your scent. These are acts that were first concocted in your cerebrum. I do like Tyrese's take. How does a female expect to hear the truth in attack mode? Any person in a scared, frightened, or excited state is less likely to tell the truth & that's not always because they're liars. In that state you're trying to steer everything to tranquility & if the truth won't bring that about (in your mind) then one tries a fib.
Cheating is a metaphysical act. I don't consider it a physical act b/c it's usually premeditated. It could only be physical if someone you've never met before in your life SUDDENLY pops up in front of your face naked. In that case it's possible that your instincts could drive you to make a move before you can actually put a thought together. On average a cheater plots & schemes which involves the mind. You come up with excuses so your significant other won't become suspicious. You do other things like by nice gifts to cover your scent. These are acts that were first concocted in your cerebrum. I do like Tyrese's take. How does a female expect to hear the truth in attack mode? Any person in a scared, frightened, or excited state is less likely to tell the truth & that's not always because they're liars. In that state you're trying to steer everything to tranquility & if the truth won't bring that about (in your mind) then one tries a fib.
I can dig it…….
Whether mental or physical its Bitchassness at its best. If its a metaphysical act, which makes logical sence by definition, if you are not happy in your current situation, talk to you mate and change that situation. Thus having the opportunity to date other people without consequences that would cause one to lie and cover up (the potential cheating).
Is this truly about the way the man/woman is being a punk about the situation. Or is this also lack of control when you see a nice looking woman/man.
If you can't walk into the laundromat, grocery store without thinking 'I'm coppin something' then you lack self control as well.
Happy people in committed relationships can go to places where the opposite sex will be and thinks (his premedated theory really works here) 'nothing is worth me risking what I have at home'. And they can go to the club, on vacation with the fellas/girls and not get into any mischief. But if your not happy in your current situation, you get the text from ya peoples (let's go out) and you immediately think of all the ass that you could be getting. I.e., cheating.
One doesn't HAVE to be in a relationship if they don't want to. You can date and still be happy. But if what you have at home is not worth that 10 second nut, cheating becomes obsolete.
I can dig it…….
Whether mental or physical its Bitchassness at its best. If its a metaphysical act, which makes logical sence by definition, if you are not happy in your current situation, talk to you mate and change that situation. Thus having the opportunity to date other people without consequences that would cause one to lie and cover up (the potential cheating).
Is this truly about the way the man/woman is being a punk about the situation. Or is this also lack of control when you see a nice looking woman/man.
If you can't walk into the laundromat, grocery store without thinking 'I'm coppin something' then you lack self control as well.
Happy people in committed relationships can go to places where the opposite sex will be and thinks (his premedated theory really works here) 'nothing is worth me risking what I have at home'. And they can go to the club, on vacation with the fellas/girls and not get into any mischief. But if your not happy in your current situation, you get the text from ya peoples (let's go out) and you immediately think of all the ass that you could be getting. I.e., cheating.
One doesn't HAVE to be in a relationship if they don't want to. You can date and still be happy. But if what you have at home is not worth that 10 second nut, cheating becomes obsolete.
what do u do whe u love 2 people and don't want to hurt neither nor urself…
what do u do whe u love 2 people and don't want to hurt neither nor urself…
Very good question… I would say be honest… it's going to hurt either way the only thing you can do is be honest, cut your loses and try to save face. The truth hurts, but after the pain is gone… the truth will prevent the bridge from being burned although it might be damaged you may still be able to mend it.
Very good question… I would say be honest… it's going to hurt either way the only thing you can do is be honest, cut your loses and try to save face. The truth hurts, but after the pain is gone… the truth will prevent the bridge from being burned although it might be damaged you may still be able to mend it.
How can you disagree with me on that? It is… ALMOST impossible.
How many relationships end? All but one if you're lucky
How many people die alone?
How many people are in the world?
How many people find the right one?
How many people have you been with in your life?
Do you honestly think the person you're with is the ONE? If so why not get married?
In most cases…. most not all, but most there is something that is not there… A lot of women think they are doing everything right, but they find themself working very hard to give their lover something they no longer want or need.
Seasons… You making a plate could be like trying to give me a winter coat in the summer… i don't need that RIGHT NOW…
How can you disagree with me on that? It is… ALMOST impossible.
How many relationships end? All but one if you're lucky
How many people die alone?
How many people are in the world?
How many people find the right one?
How many people have you been with in your life?
Do you honestly think the person you're with is the ONE? If so why not get married?
In most cases…. most not all, but most there is something that is not there… A lot of women think they are doing everything right, but they find themself working very hard to give their lover something they no longer want or need.
Seasons… You making a plate could be like trying to give me a winter coat in the summer… i don't need that RIGHT NOW…
who knew the reason people cheat was so scientific?…hmmm sounds like b.s. to me.=]
who knew the reason people cheat was so scientific?…hmmm sounds like b.s. to me.=]
I love a healthy debate.
“How can you disagree with me on that? It is… ALMOST impossible.”
THAT was not your statement, lol. You said “I mean its almost impossible to find someone who can complete you. And even if you do you still want more.”
Therefore you have already answered your own question. However, if you are going thru something and for the right now, this person completes you. Now as you both grow and change if you don't do this together you will break up. However, for the time you were together that person completed you.
And the topic was cheating and why. So I gave my reasonings for why.
Ps. meet us at the chapel May 24th, 2009 in Vegas, lol.
I love a healthy debate.
“How can you disagree with me on that? It is… ALMOST impossible.”
THAT was not your statement, lol. You said “I mean its almost impossible to find someone who can complete you. And even if you do you still want more.”
Therefore you have already answered your own question. However, if you are going thru something and for the right now, this person completes you. Now as you both grow and change if you don't do this together you will break up. However, for the time you were together that person completed you.
And the topic was cheating and why. So I gave my reasonings for why.
Ps. meet us at the chapel May 24th, 2009 in Vegas, lol.
As a male my response is that if you are planning on cheating why be in a relationship? In this day and age you can still have that one person to always fall back on (yes I know its not right but its true) without the actual title of dating. In that case then if you happen to meet someone new you do not feel as guilty cause there is never the title. This isn't saying live your life like that but if you really are not ready for a relationship then you shouldn't put yourself or your partner through the Bull$hit. Again I am not condoning sleeping around etc, I am just saying that you mentally have to be ready for a relationship and if you are not then why bother.
The seeds for cheating is mental, the act of cheating is physical. Some people can withstand the urge to cheat other will cheat with anyone or anything.
As a male my response is that if you are planning on cheating why be in a relationship? In this day and age you can still have that one person to always fall back on (yes I know its not right but its true) without the actual title of dating. In that case then if you happen to meet someone new you do not feel as guilty cause there is never the title. This isn't saying live your life like that but if you really are not ready for a relationship then you shouldn't put yourself or your partner through the Bull$hit. Again I am not condoning sleeping around etc, I am just saying that you mentally have to be ready for a relationship and if you are not then why bother.
The seeds for cheating is mental, the act of cheating is physical. Some people can withstand the urge to cheat other will cheat with anyone or anything.
I agree that you do have to make your man comfortable to tell you the truth. I had a man that I thought was the one, and come to find out he was cheating. So when I caught him..I told him that he was caught and to tell me the truth…and he did. He said that she was a piece of ass that meant nothing, and that he loved me…I was the one who gets to meet his family, be in his house, the one who has his heart….BUT he admitted that he was weak when it came to women basically throwing panties at him. I could feel on that. I even BELIEVED him!
I do believe in his mind, as long as it was JUST physical that I shouldnt be hurt. I was, but I wasn't. I don't want to share my man with other women, so we ended the relationship and still remained close friends. That was like 7yrs ago, and this man still wants me back. To this day he says I am the only who “really knows him”.
To bad he couldn't be faithful, cause I don't think I could ever trust him again. Thats my two cents…
I agree that you do have to make your man comfortable to tell you the truth. I had a man that I thought was the one, and come to find out he was cheating. So when I caught him..I told him that he was caught and to tell me the truth…and he did. He said that she was a piece of ass that meant nothing, and that he loved me…I was the one who gets to meet his family, be in his house, the one who has his heart….BUT he admitted that he was weak when it came to women basically throwing panties at him. I could feel on that. I even BELIEVED him!
I do believe in his mind, as long as it was JUST physical that I shouldnt be hurt. I was, but I wasn't. I don't want to share my man with other women, so we ended the relationship and still remained close friends. That was like 7yrs ago, and this man still wants me back. To this day he says I am the only who “really knows him”.
To bad he couldn't be faithful, cause I don't think I could ever trust him again. Thats my two cents…
Making him “comfortable” about telling the truth after he's already cheated benefits me how exactly???
Making him “comfortable” about telling the truth after he's already cheated benefits me how exactly???
I have a really good question…if you forgive someone for cheating and remain together; How do you trust them again. Okay asking a man in a calm voice if he is cheating….gets the truth and then comes all the lie about how she meant nothing she it was an accident, he got caught up, and might go as far as sayin that it was because of you. That's the bs part you confess to cheating and then lie about y. So really where is the honesty. I do believe you can be in love with 2 people at the same time. When one person compliments one side of you and the other compliments the other side you love both. 2 totally different people that you wish you could merge into one…yes that's greedy but it's definitely possible.
I have a really good question…if you forgive someone for cheating and remain together; How do you trust them again. Okay asking a man in a calm voice if he is cheating….gets the truth and then comes all the lie about how she meant nothing she it was an accident, he got caught up, and might go as far as sayin that it was because of you. That's the bs part you confess to cheating and then lie about y. So really where is the honesty. I do believe you can be in love with 2 people at the same time. When one person compliments one side of you and the other compliments the other side you love both. 2 totally different people that you wish you could merge into one…yes that's greedy but it's definitely possible.
Well, it's about making him comfortable enough to get the truth out of him. Some chicks go crazy and scream an accuse their man when they don't have real proof- so all the man is going to do is lie. Be calm and coax it out of him…
THEN you can wild out when he ADMITS the truth.
Until then he's just going to deny and deny if he knows you don't know anything and won't do anything about it.
Cheating is never ok, but if you're unsure as to whether or not your partner is/has cheated you need to remain calm until you get the answer. Getting mad before he/she responds most certainly won't get you the truth.
Well, it's about making him comfortable enough to get the truth out of him. Some chicks go crazy and scream an accuse their man when they don't have real proof- so all the man is going to do is lie. Be calm and coax it out of him…
THEN you can wild out when he ADMITS the truth.
Until then he's just going to deny and deny if he knows you don't know anything and won't do anything about it.
Cheating is never ok, but if you're unsure as to whether or not your partner is/has cheated you need to remain calm until you get the answer. Getting mad before he/she responds most certainly won't get you the truth.
Problem is “if” you don't already know the truth, calm or not he's never gonna tell you the truth/whole truth anyway, that statement is their sorry attempt to avoid the drama associated with their bad behavior…
Not to mention that us wildin out f*cks with their ability to lie and remember that lie at a moment's notice – speaking calmly gives them time to think and get their shyt together
Now while wildin out may not get you “the truth” it almost always trips him up enough where the fact that he is lying comes to light and that alone is all you really need to know – no reason to lie if there is nothing to hide
As women we just need to recognize the real signs that somethin ain't right instead of being random and accusatory when no real issues exist…
Problem is “if” you don't already know the truth, calm or not he's never gonna tell you the truth/whole truth anyway, that statement is their sorry attempt to avoid the drama associated with their bad behavior…
Not to mention that us wildin out f*cks with their ability to lie and remember that lie at a moment's notice – speaking calmly gives them time to think and get their shyt together
Now while wildin out may not get you “the truth” it almost always trips him up enough where the fact that he is lying comes to light and that alone is all you really need to know – no reason to lie if there is nothing to hide
As women we just need to recognize the real signs that somethin ain't right instead of being random and accusatory when no real issues exist…
Ladies U must stop initiating MARRIAGE 2 D fellas. DO NOT BRING UP MARRIAGE. Deal with the relationship as it is. Also, STOP BUYING D GUY U R NOT HIS MOTHER IF HE DON'T HAVE ANY JORDANS DO NOT BUY THEM. C ABT YOURSELF 1ST AND ALWAYS. IF THE MAN IS 4 U IT WILL ROLL OUT LIKE CARPET. U get ur warning abt a person listen to it. Don't BUY ur way N when U know U R not suppose 2 B n from the beginning. 10-16 CHECKN OUT
Ladies U must stop initiating MARRIAGE 2 D fellas. DO NOT BRING UP MARRIAGE. Deal with the relationship as it is. Also, STOP BUYING D GUY U R NOT HIS MOTHER IF HE DON'T HAVE ANY JORDANS DO NOT BUY THEM. C ABT YOURSELF 1ST AND ALWAYS. IF THE MAN IS 4 U IT WILL ROLL OUT LIKE CARPET. U get ur warning abt a person listen to it. Don't BUY ur way N when U know U R not suppose 2 B n from the beginning. 10-16 CHECKN OUT
Cheating is just basically saying “Hey I really am not in love with you and I want to try something else” People dont want to be dedicated and be committed to anything anymore. I don't know what to say about that touchy subject… You have to be complete within yourself and comfortable with yourself before you get involved with someone else… you most definately have to have god first in your life.. One his his characteristics in his personality is honesty.. If we follow him at least try to do on to others as we want them to do on to us.. relationships will succeed… commitment is a choice.
Cheating is just basically saying “Hey I really am not in love with you and I want to try something else” People dont want to be dedicated and be committed to anything anymore. I don't know what to say about that touchy subject… You have to be complete within yourself and comfortable with yourself before you get involved with someone else… you most definately have to have god first in your life.. One his his characteristics in his personality is honesty.. If we follow him at least try to do on to others as we want them to do on to us.. relationships will succeed… commitment is a choice.
as much as it sounds sexist, even feminist… but i don't think men should cheat because they are no where near intelligent enough to pull it off without getting caught. I've caught every single boyfriend thats cheated on me and thats because they have their brains in their lower regions, it makes them clumsy and prone to leave out the the most important of precautions… and thats focus lol luckily for us ladies lol
loved the article.