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Ask Xilla: Can Twitter Break Up A Relationship?
Posted in Relationships, Xilla on on 07. Apr, 2009
More mail from one of my readers. I always like getting emails, asking for advice. This one is an interesting topic, that keeps popping up in my inbox. I thought I should address this one in public.
Hi, my name is “Tasha Tweet” and I have 1 question. Do u think twitter/fb/myspace is enough 2 break up? This morning a coworker of my boyfriend says im messing around with someone on twitter. He gathers this b/c in a reply 2 my status about it snowing, a guy said if it snows, come over here. Like 5 days later I replied what if it doesn’t snow?? Ok. That’s it. Now my bf won’t talk to me over offing twitter. Do you think lightweight flirting over networking sites is enough to break up a relationship?
Continue reading for my response.
Dear Tasha Tweet,
Your boyfriend is very insecure. This can be for one of a few reasons. More than likely he is cheating, and it’s something called projection. Where people put their dirt on you. IE Bill O’Rielly. Another reason can be simply because he’s insecure and honestly I don’t feel like anyone should be with an insecure person. It leads to too much drama.
I think twitter, myspace, facebook are bad for relationships. It makes it too easy to bring up drama. Take Twitter for instance, it makes it almost impossible to lie. lol Not that you should have to lie, but sometimes it’s called for, but if you slip up and send out a tweet, then all hell breaks loose. “I thought you were with Suzie? Well she was washing clothes at 2:15pm see her twitter update.” All of these social networks are essential tools for stalkers and insecure people.
At the same time you should have nipped dude in the bud as soon as he came at you like that. You have a boyfriend, and if he lets you get away with small flirting, you’ll flirt even more and maybe even cheat. He should have spoke with you and communicated his feelings in a more mature way. Not simply stopped talking to you and speak to someone else about it.
~ Xilla
Ok call me late but what the hell is twitter. man I just got on face book. . .SMH
Yes, social networking sites can lead to the end of any relationship. You've gotta be really careful what you share and how you exchange dialogue with people, its a bit harder to figure out the intent or the way something was meant when just looking at words as oppose to hearing it or seeing someone and being able to read body language and tone of voice. Point being, WATCH YOUR ASS!
O Yea, and flirting on one of those sites is just stupid. Its like leaving the world a paper trail of you flirting.
in all honesty i don't believe it has anything to do with insecurity. when you put yourself and your relationship out there on these social networking sites, PLEASE be ready for any and everybody to voice their opinion. i at a time had absolutely no problem with myspace of filthbook (yes, filth)…but when it gets to a point where my bf would leave a nonchalant comment on a female's photo “cute outfit!” or “cute pic” or something small like that, and the broad would reply with something stupid like “aww, don't go there, don't want WIFEY to find out” i mean come on, why the extra shit!..then the whole “i miss you baby, MUAHZ”, i mean wtf?, do you not see the damn MARRIED/ IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH susie cue @ the top…the flirting is ok to a standpoint, but in my situation when you start conversing back and forth with someone over the net about all the nasty freaky shit you plan on doing to them, even though you won't, the line for disrespect is crossed. there's only so much two people can take in a relationship as it is, with all the hoes @ work, school etc. but to deal with the haters, homewreckers, and overall fu*ked up ppl via internet, FOR THE ENTIRE WORLD 2 SEE, claims alot of relationships….i.e. mine.
Yea relationships are already hard, and this social networking is just making it harder to be faithful. You have so much access to new d*ck and new p*ssy, that folks don't know how to act, its really really sad. Thats why the guy that i sorta like right now don't do the internet, he actually hates his phone, so there might b potential there.
Yes – it absolutely can
We all flirt innocently on occasion, flirtations that have no chance of leading anywhere but if they are witnessed by our SO will cause problems…
Social networking allows flirting, innocently or otherwise, in front of the world and that can be a breeding ground for jealousy and insecurity in the best of us
Lol…I just got on FB too lol….
My friends were pressuring me get on FB forever lol
Twitter is like AIM for the whole world!
You can say anything, send pics, post links & read what ppl say they r doing or about to do and they do the same w/u
True b/c ppls set up fake FB & Myspace pages just to get on other peopls pages to find out who they're talkin to and what they're doing.
But at the end of the day, it all boils down to trust.
find me friend! and twitter is stupid i keep trying to get into it but the fugbook is WAY better….my girls know some AMAZING ways to cyberstalk people so this is crazy… seriously! i don' know what to think about the ease in which poeople can find out EVERYTHING!
good advice xilla.. i think that people that utilize these sites need to be painfully actutely away of what may happen should they get into some drama…i never date people that use these sites because i know that my crazy i hate bawack updates/weird blogs and men that randomly flirt would drive some men wild.. her man or woman is whack for not speaking with herabout it, but i aggree that the flirting was outta line….respect ur relationship a@ all times or be friggin single!
When ur on any social networking site you have to watch what you do because there are PLENTY ways you can get caught up. I agree with Ness, because I have even had a boyfriend to set up a fake AIM account as one of my friends to see if I was cheating on him.
I make sure to limit my time on these sites because they really can damage a relationship/friendship with all the mess and drama.
I'll leave that where its at b/c I'm barely managing my fb
Yeah….don't get involved w/ that lol…..it's too addictive lol.
yes it is fb got my baby father in trouble last nite…you all know the drama i have been going thru well how about his girlfriend had created a fake fb account to see if i was still speaking to my child on the way dad, well she heard i guess enough on my page yesterday and called me and told me he can come stay with me and my spawn..i told her hell no, and about an hour later her mom calls me from another state and i told her everything…did i mention he is fourty and she his girlfriend is 32? and she got pregnant after me i guess because she was jealous of me and then miscarried? i didnt know any of this until her mom called me last night..its just crazy..i told her how much of a con artist he is..
Wow, i never knew it could be that serious on Twitter. I hope my boyfriend and I won't end up like that. We have pages on Twitter too. Insecure guys just put too much stress on the relationship, i agree that they create too much drama.
cheers,
Patricia
I agree wit Xilla, dude is either very insecure or just trying to cover his own dirt. I don't see how ppl get worked up over simple flirting with ppl way across the country. I could see if they were DMing like crazy or whatever, but some folks just overreact.
Being in college, and a part of all these networking sites, I can say from personal experience they simply cause drama. I have had my boyfriends questioning me about my status, and who is it talking about, who is this nigga that left you a comment and blah blah. My best friend had his girlfriend break up with him because he was sending messages to some random girl. Sometimes people read too much into these things at times, and it just simply causes drama out the ass. I would suggest anybody in a relationship just not use either lol. Drama drama drama….
Great, bad bad, specially from the major news corperations with the big slants to the left or right. Did you see last nights O’Rielly factor? haha, that was rediculous! Sorry, I am rambling on once again. Have a Great day!