You Could Have Told Me We Were Going Dutch

Posted in Relationships on Apr 02, 2009

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Written by Miss Sex E.D.


So this is what happened next…


The End of the Date:

I went ahead and paid the $21 tab and I still left the bartender a generous tip. She was great and it wasn’t her fault I was out with a cheapskate. But at the same time I’m heated! So he comes back and I’m staring at the TV screen watching the game, really just trying to calm myself down. He asks, “Did she bring my tab?” I shrugged my shoulders and kept looking at the TV. He pulled out his cash and paid for his stuff and said, “Are you ready to go upstairs now?” to which I replied, “No, I’m ready to go.” He looked at me kind of crazy and said, “You’re ready to go?” I just stood up and began to put my coat on. He said, “Okay, well we can leave.”

We get outside and he was like, “Are you okay?” I told him “no” and when he tried to talk about it I told him it’s best that I just don’t say anything right now. So I’m walking to my parking garage and he’s still walking with me. I stopped walking and said, “Where are you going?” “I’m walking you to your car.” I told him that was not necessary, but he insisted (as usual). About twice during the date he mentioned going out again and I would jokingly say “Oh, I don’t know about that.” So while we were walking to my car he asked again and I said a straight out “No.” He was like, “You’re serious?” and I told him I was very serious. So we (reluctantly) hugged goodbye and for some odd reason I said, “Thank you.” But for what?!? This date was horrible.
He called me about 10min after I left and said, “You know I should call you Cinderella. It’s like the clock striked and you were ready to go. It’s making me feel like I did something wrong.” Dude are you serious? So I let him have it. “It is something you did. You are a cheapskate and tacky as hell. How dare you ask me out and tell me to pay for everything. Especially the second drink. That’s like me going out with my girls and saying, “Girl, you need a shot, why don’t you buy yourself one?” Just tacky.” So then came his excuses:

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  • futuredoctor404
    They just don't make cats like they used to.
  • LadiTaylor
    I don't understand... Are women upset because he didn't mention before-hand that they were going Dutch or just the fact that you had to pay for your own food?
    Does everyone automatically assume that dude is broke because he goes Dutch (i mean judging by this story, I believe he was). But I never assume that someone is going to pay for the date, I always make a move to reach for my purse when the check comes. But then again I have never been put in this type situation.
    But I do believe you did the right thing by just paying the check and keeping it cool..
  • MissSexED
    I (personally) was upset b/c he didn't mention that we were going Dutch or that the only parking available was $10. When a man asks me out, I assume that he will pay.Just like, if I were to ask him out, he should probably assume that I am going to pay. But I am always prepared to pay for myself and I wouldn't order something or go to a event I couldn't afford.

    I wouldn't assume a guy was broke b/c we go Dutch, but it would make me question him a little. Like is he persuing me or are we buddies?
  • bogart4017
    To misssexed:
    I was praying you would pay the bill and not create a scene and you handled it just right. You left his dumb ass thinking and calling you. Take it from me he KNEW he was wrong---thats what all the excuses were for.
  • MissSexED
    I really hopes he does know he was wrong and won't do that to the next female. I mean 27 years old is too old for this type of behavior and for those excuses.
  • OooLaLa
    WOW... how pathetic. Dude was lame as hell. Men should just be honest about their situation, and let women decide.

    I mean I have no problem paying for stuff IF I'm the one who made the invitation. And that would come AFTER we have something good going on.
  • Sexy N Sassy
    EXACTLY!!
  • PhoenixNicole
    just triflin'! the end. lol
  • OrangeStar616
    ughhh just clueless and pathetic..you did the right thing by denying any further access..my days of overlooking things EARLY on are over...ALL of that shit is an indicator of whats to come (possibly)...so lets tally this up he was liar, and a cheap tacky bastard...LMAO

    *sidenote* first impressions can be deceiving but this was a step further than a first impression IMO
  • so you no longer give dudes a second chance?
  • Dizz
    First impressions are EVERYTHING.
  • what?
    Oh, Xilla let us have our moment! LOL
  • Thoney Gangstasweet
    hells no! i'm a cold one. second chance to try and get topshelf?! nah son! i have run into these situations often and each time i get up and leave dude righti n the restaurant. for whatever reason a nigga heard downtown or a political connection and they get wet in the shorts and extra hongry/thirsty. i'm not a balla so if he shows me early on he wants some of my lonely desperate peers i points him in THAT direction! muthaFUGG a 2nd chance....first impressions ARE everything.[cosign whoever said that]
  • MissSexED
    haha I like that "second chance to try and get topshelf?!" I hope I don't run into this situation again, but I think I might just walk out next time.
  • Sexy N Sassy
    Girl, I had one of them kind, my story was a lil different. This guy, I've been knowing him prior to dating him.
    I wanted to get my hair done and he offered to pay for it, I told him how much it cost and he said cool. When it was time for him to give me the money he was 20 dollars short.
    He failed to mention that he was 20 dollars short, so when I counted the money and called him to let him know he was short. He came at me like it wasn't a big deal and I shouldn't have even called him. Which was a lot of nerves for him to say that when he volunteered his services mind you. I dont like guys that try to pretend they got more than what they have. It turned me completely off, like Keri Hilson. Then he wants to blow my phone up like everything is still sweet. GTFOH!

    All homeboy had to do was keep it real and say well im 20 dollars short, let me know up front. It was the principal of the whole thing. Because I had my own my money to pay for it I'm no needy broad, I have a very good job and he know this so I dont know why he was trying to front. LAME!
  • what?
    OMG, Dude is freakin crazy...Sadly enough most dudes are like this nowadays. And don't expect to much of him then ur "needy" or a "golddigger" gtfoh!
  • Wow...tht was crzy...

    The funny thing is that he was probably "walking" you to your car so he can get a ride lol..... since his car was in the shop....lol

    No need to go w/ him again...f*ck what your girlfriends say...b/c at the end of the day, ur not gonna be comfortable sitting there making small talk knowing what you know!...

    lol
  • Kay
    Seems like you must have gone on a date with my ex!!
  • what?
    LOL, or mine.
  • MissSexED
    I can't believe there are soo many women that can relate 2 this fuckery! Good thing he's your EX!
  • Thoney Gangstasweet
    things like this happen often in chicago..to dark women. mnuthaFUGG erbody thas tired of me sayin that but its the truf! guys here know that brown to dark girls are thirsty and extremely desperate so they single us out and once they hook us into a date they honestly think we're gonna get ta trickin! i was raised by a man that had two jobs while gettin an mba from depaul and raisin two small kids while hoin so i know that a REAL man should keep a some money in his pocket at ALL TIMES...i hate how cats wait all late to tell u they have no money....

    child. honey. why did one loser flat out ask me if i could expense our meal or put it on my boss's amex?!!? "u work downtown and shit right? why can't u just write it off...i had only ordered that because i thought u would take care of it. sistas swear they independent but they can't match a nigga...i was testin u and u failed..." now i'm a hothead. it took all the jesus and allah in my spirut to not throw my drink in his face and cuss him in creole. i settled for a "well i already expense my waxing and nails so i don't wanna overdo it thanks for reminding me of why i should seriously never ever date a nigga from the chi again....i too issued a bit of a test and this dates ova bitch."[i paid my part and left him]

    the worst part is there are sooooo many sistas that gladly pay...i can't go tho! not when a whiteboy will come wit the real and pay all day!
  • This dude is sad...

    Why did I know this was an Atlanta dude? Why?
    Girl he is a mess and you are doin the right thing by not talking to him.
    He should of told you that this was a "dutch date" and that he couldnt afford you because of his wallet situation.

    Then the thing about the parked car and he took Marta situation...did he ask u for a ride home? I swear this is why it is so hard to find a good man!

    He was ruthless!
  • MissSexED
    I honestly didn't believe him about the Marta, but when he called me after the "date" I could hear the trains in the background!!!!!
  • what?
    Why the hell did he tell u he was parked then? See dudes just be lying for no damn reason!
  • MissSexED
    I don't know! Like dude I'm going to find out eventually. I think he's one of those guys that let lies fly out their mouths w/out thinking.
  • Dizz
    I thought the SAME thing...this dude MUST be from Atlanta.... smh
  • Ken Kaniff
    Lame dude probaly pulled this stunt before, because it so many women in ATl brothers thing can do anything and get away with it. Brothers still have to come correct, I pay most of the time with my girlfriend cause all ladies like to feel like they are being taken out.
  • yeah you still have to come correct in the ATL, it's easy to get a girl in Atlanta but it's not easy to keep them.
  • Thoney Gangstasweet
    u a lie! i'm in ATL now.[sugarloaf] and i'm witnessin some really fancy women trick on these lame ass, multiple babymama havin ass, fuggin anothabrotha ass niggas. these guys did nothing to get 'em and are doing nothing to keep 'em. sistas are so dang desperate down here they settlin for nothing at all and stickin with it! ditto for the chi. its just sad :(
  • MissSexED
    I think women are just starting to lower their standards. If a guy treats her nicer than the rest, she's willing to overlook his 3 kids and his not having a job. "He just treats me so good. I don't mind buying him stuff every now and then." It is sad
  • King Blair
    I have a strict dating policu that if I ask a girl out I pay for the date, but if by the third date she does not offer to contribute something then I know that this is not the girl for me. I feel in this day and age with the economy so bad a girl should at least offer to pay for something by then or she just wants a free ride and thats a no-no. When she offers to pay I say no as a gentleman, but I just wanna know that I am dating a woman who from time to time hold her man down. If she only looking for me to pay I see she only out for self.
  • OrangeStar616
    Xilla everybody makes mistakes have lapses in judgement etc...but um, if someone shows me they not about shat really or have a whole bunch of BS wit em, you know just RED flags off the break...NO those types of people get no second chances...
  • HeadMistress
    Wow, what an ass!

    And to make it worse he doesn't even have the decency to be ashamed of himself and keeps calling....that is where I would activate my trusty Verizon Usage Controls and block that ass from any further contact
  • Lmao @ the parked the car bit and dude came in on the Marta!! That right there would have been so red flagged to the point of....date over right then and there! If just maybe he was up front about not having his own ride or whatever maybe we could have worked it out. But dang, after dude was so foul I couldn't even consider another date just to even make him spend his money if he did actually have any despite what my homegirls said. It would have never even gotten to the dutch point.....

    Dude was too foul from point!...lol
  • streetz
    LOL Wow what a fail! You can't make a move like that and expect a 2nd date, let alone to keep calling! You didnt give him your twitter/aim/gchat did you? lol
  • MissSexED
    NO!! lol Seriously some guys just don't have it all. Hope you don't treat ladies like that Streetz
  • streetz
    Nah, they know they're paying up front. If they aint treating me, I'm not going out. Its 2009, women need to show chivalry. Word up.

    lololol!

    Nah I've learned from others mistakes and I was blessed with common sense. That's just foul though, lol.
  • TheWiz
    Wow if you invite a lady out your suppose to pay for the whole date no matter what she wants to do. Treat a lady like a lady. Dude was a hopeless/clueless, damn shame.
  • HeadMistress
    Eh, nevermind, this one's way too easy....but you get my point, right
  • TheWiz
    I get it I promise I get it. . lol
  • favorisntfair
    I am done and this has killed me for the weekend! This fool caught the bus/train to meet you for a "date" and lied about it? He is a mess and needs to reevaluate his life.
  • conscious
    what is wrong with a female paying for the first date?
    females are quick to label us cheap, but you guys are the real cheap ones
    you make the same salaries as men so what is wrong with paying,
    why cant you make the first impression why does a guy always have to make one,
  • MissSexED
    If she asks you out there is nothing wrong with her paying for the first date. But if you asked her out, why would she pay for it???
  • yes
    lmao niggas!! ugh thats y I stay in the house!!
  • yes
    I bet he dont even own a wallet!!! lmao
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