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There is such a hypocrisy in the stereotypes of black women. On one hand I'm always reading about how black women can't find a good man. Their standards are too high. Especially women with college educations, advanced degrees, and/or good jobs. Then on the other hand I read stuff like this ... there are so many "good men" out there that women trapping them is a huge problem. Maybe if these "good men" weren't so busy chasing down strippers and tramps they wouldn't have that problem. Maybe if their criteria wasn't based on aesthetics but morals it wouldn't be an issue. Oh, and if a guy is trying to go raw in a woman it seems to me he wouldn't mind being the father of her kids.

agree 100%.

I dont know what females be thinking by trying to trap they dudes. He's never around and thats why they feel by trappin him, they will be around...Absolutely not!! Getting pregnant is not going to change aything. Its not worth being a single mother especailly for a man that aint even worried about you.

gurl i just seen you on pink cufflynx lol.
anyway, i totally agree with you. trapping a man is never the answer because then, what if he leaves. Hmm. she's be looking as dumb as the girls in the picture: 4 women, NO MEN.

This post is rather interesting and it's crazy that some women would actually do these things...but like my motto: Women are triflin' and they aint' shit!! LOL!!! and where did you find that pic? I can't believe that they are showing off their belly's like that...I mean pregnancy is a beautiful thing, but I am tired of seeing 17 year olds pregnant...It's like it the new norm to get pregnant while you are young....

@ its like its the new norm to get pregnant while you are young....

Teenage pregnancy is not a new phenomenon, my grandma had her first child at 14 (she was married) and she had 12 children. 17 is pretty old in some cultures to start reproducing. Yes, the females in that picture look as damn fool but that because the y weren't taught any better

I know it's not a new phenomenon, but why has it becaome the norm? My grandmother was 16 when she had my dad, and my aunt was 14 when she had my uncle. I went to school with some young ladies that were pregnant by the age of 12 and 13 and this was in '96 and '97.

Something ain't right when I am having a conversation with a girl my age (24) and when I tell her I have no kids she is shocked and amazed...LOL..I shouldn't be the odd man out because I'm not a mother by the age of 24..Families need to do as much preventative action so that their children do not reproduce at such a young age especially if you are not married...

I like this blog, its the truth and like reading real sh*t. Especially coming from a man's point of view about this type of situation.

Yes, women are sneaky and will go out of there way to trap a guy,which by all means is not cool. I know a chick who did just that, lied and told the guy she was on birth control and stop getting the depo shot and ofcourse she got pregnant. But it backed fired on her a**, b/c he started to treat her dirty and then he went around telling everybody in the hood that would listen that she trapped him and got pregnant to only keep him. When the baby was born he nicked named him, lil keep a nigga! LOL its not funny but it is.

In regards to females looking for certain characteristics in guys, I tell my eleven year old son that all the time. B/C he has hair down his back like Lloyd and I be damn if any lil broad even think they are going to trap my son because he has good hair. So when my son do start dating he already knows to bring them by me first so me and my daughter will weed them out one by one. I dont care if they look at me as, oh his mother is mean. You damn right, about mines these claws will come out.

I understand you wanting to protect your son but you can weed all you want and it will be that one you like who'll be the one you didn't want him with when its all said and done

Two thoughts on trying to trap dudes..

1. Its beyond stupid and doesn't work
2. thats just a trife way to go about conceiving a life, thru lies and trickery, just FOUL....

and I don't feel sorry for muthfuckas that go this route either, its breeds resentment and all kinds of shat.......

Now I'm thinkin too much right before I'm bout to get it lol

lol see my bad!! but it's the truth you better go out and buy another pack homie.. specially if she says let me see them real quick! lol

LMao! I know all of these bishes! Um yea...so, I also know a guy like this. He wants to impregnate a girl who's not black so his baby can b pretty (shallow and selfish...a real keeper) I've never had this urge though. Both times I got preggers it was not planned nor desired, but I rolled with it. I don't get girls who do this and don't stop and think hey, maybe this is bad for the child. To make a baby with someone for the wrong reasons is only gonna fuck up the kid's life...that is the ultimate offense to me! Yeah, ur baby has good hair and all the Jordan's but he's gonna grow up and be in therapy cause of "daddy" or "family" issues...smh

This is too funny. The "Indian in your family" is classic.

True True.
LMAO @ the raw test. That'll catch them everytime. I'm going to print this one out and give it to my son on is 16th bday

I personally know every brother and sister mentioned. One in particular made the same mistake twice. What she got out of her situation was this: two beautiful kids with two diff fathers who both take care of their kids. If she runs short of cash/food/ride, etc they come and get their kids. They aint giving up NO dough just because they were "trapped" (aka hittin' it raw).

Dang! This post is so true. I could point out a hand-full of chicks like that. Sad to say that here where I'm from chicks intentionally get preggers for dudes who aint worth shit so I don't know what that's about. They have that Mz.Independant shit going on in their minds when they're hardly holding it together. And vice versa for some dudes who try to trap chicks too just to hold em' down. Battle of the sexes I feel for the kids.

LMAO...I KNOW HELLA FEMALES LIKE THIS. MOST OF THEM HAVE 4+ CHILDREN WITH NO MAN WHATSOEVER....

XILLA, WHAT ABOUT THE GUYS WHO TRAP FEMALES? I TELL MY SON'S FATHER CONSTANTLY THAT HE TRAPPED ME BECAUSE WE ALWAYS USED CONDOMS (OR SO I THOUGHT)....HE DIDNT ADMIT IT UNTIL 'LIK WAS LIKE 3 THAT HE WAS TAKING THE CONDOM OF WHEN WE CHANGED POSITIONS. THE ADMISSION ITSELF DISTURBED ME BECAUSE I WAS 17 AND WE DIDNT KNOW EACH OTHER AT ALL....TRUTHFULLY HAD I NOT GOTTEN PREGNANT HE WOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE A SEASONAL FLING...BUT AS HE LIKE TO REMIND ME DAMN NEAR EVERYDAY WHEN HE DROPS OUR SON OFF...........IM STUCK WITH HIM FOR LIFE!!!!!

My husband did the same thing.
I've been with hime for 5 years and I said I wanted to wait until I finsihed school, until we bought a house, and I want to do some traveling...but...I now have a 6 month old.

Before him, I would be with a dude, w/o sleeping with him and he'd already be hollering you baby mama (not a label I ever wanted) and I guess that's b/c I had my ish on proper.

I feel u on that "baby mama" label, i never wanted to be one of those either. That label suck but some of these females were it like its their crowning glory. Embarrassing really

Thats crazy! These girls don't realize that if n when the guy leaves it is definately goin 2be super hard 2raise a child. I have 3, I know its so hard. Good luck dummies, LOL

Thats jus sad.. that shit aint cute at all.....

I'm over 30 and like u said I don't want a baby either. I'll wait until I'm 40 to decide if having one if right for me....

But I'll never trap a guy even if I changed my mind b4 the age of 40 b/c I want my child to know their father...and not know that I trapped him...lol

But all the descriptions u listed are on point! :)

the first pictures with the pregnant chics is so sad ... amazing [in Kanye's voice] what naive women [girls] would pull ...

I had a vasectomy.


Problem solved.

I got a baby from a vasectomy!!

I WAS TRAPPED!!

Things got hot and heavy. The next morning I told him we messed up. I told him I wasnt on birth control and I was on my way to get the morning after pill. He told me not to worry because he was fixed. And because I trusted him, I didnt hit up CVS like I intended.

A month later...I was late and he was surprised. I took a digital test to be sure because I didnt want there to be any confusion with the one lines or two lines. I was so shocked it said pregnant, that my stomach fell out my butt on the toilet. and i put the test in the front seat with me and put a seatbelt around it. I never planned on having kids alone and I expressed that to my son's father.

After a week or so, I told him abortion wasnt an option then he cut the monkey. He didnt want any more kids, didnt have time for another child in his life, it's not fair and he has no say in what i can do with my body...blah, blah, blah, blah!! A month after that he apologized for his reaction and we were cool. It alternated throughout my pregnancy. Then when I found out I was having a boy he chilled out for good. No idea why but he chilled.

It's been a year since I found out i was having a boy and I gave birth last July. At 9 months old my son is my mini-me and has his father's attitude. This whole situation has made me realize everything happens for a reason and I dont regret my decision. I love my son to death...even though my relationship with his father is up and down.

But never again will I fall for the "dont worry baby I'm fix line"...I'm abstaining from sex until I meet my future Ex-husband. I havent had sex since December 2007 and I'm happy with that.

Damn......i can relate to that. I never intended on getting pregnant i THOUGHT that we had taken the necessary precautions to prevent pregnancy.

As a 17 y.o college freshman, baby was the furthest thing from my mind. We were just supposed to hook up and have a blast. I never would have thought that he had other intention beside sex.

My son is the single greatest thing in my life but the way he got here was completely underhanded......I LEARNED MY LESSON

HELLO how about diseases running rampant out this mofo.....pregnancy or being trapped ain' the only thing to be concerned with SMDH.......

My sister just told me the way her friend trapped a dude. . . .She used an oil based lubricant. . .And for those who failed sex ed and Biology. . .oil breaks down latex and causes it to break

So Wiz tell me since we're on the topic of trapping people....what do you think of dudes getting girls pregnant on purpose, taking off the condom and not telling her??

Man how long will I be on punishment with y'all ????. . .lol
Well seeing as my opinion is biased I feel I shouldn't touch on the subject (or give the lovely ladies of Blogxilla another reason to tear into my ass. . lol)

Probably 4F*ckinEver...not to be mean but seriously, it's kinda impossible to forget...

May I suggest the Blogger Protection Program...change your username and pic and start commenting like a brand new reader...no one'll ever know ;-D

Our constant sarcasm may not be nice but its also very difficult to suppress, it's not healthy to hold these things in...it's not easy because no matter how on point some of your comments may be, even on unrelated subjects, we can always find some sarcastic way to tie it back to your "chicktrapping" activity...so do it for us!

LMFAO

I might just have to go into blogger protection

Nah...be a "man" and keep you screen name and pic.

Tht's the least u can do

Did I change it ???

Look! Don't get sassy with me!

lol...

Roll w/ the punches bruh lol.....it's not like we hate you.... :)

LOL. . .I didn't sass you Mrs. Ness just saying I didnt run from it.

Lmao....ur sassin me now...by calling me "Mrs".....I am not married lol.....I'm Miss Ness lol

Hahaha ;-D

He ain't goin nowhere - he likes the attention, don't ya Wiz?

Actually I don't but I can't avoid it soooooooooooo

Well now either The Wiz has hijacked Isis' identity or they are one in the same ???

Actually he's my dumb ass brother and used my computer without realizing I dont log my disqus

Ahhhh Haaaaa :-D

(in my best old jewish man from Coming to America voice) LOL

So I'm a little computer illiterate. . . so sue me. . lol
Ay Ice leave the insults where they were

Nah

We'll let the computer illiteracy go if you promise to get that "other" kind of illiteracy under control, which is sounds like you have

Awwww :-) I'm sure she meant it in the most loving way possible...LOL

hey with the ladies in my life (and the little ladie on the way. .ok maybe I just wanted to throw that out there. . lol) and the women on here I have no choice but too. . . .Nall u dont know her shes the insult queen. . . .lol

Yeah I heard male trapping the female is the new mission in '09.

That they trapping girls because they do not want her to leave. I wish somebody would. This mess here makes me not wanna have sex because there are some guys being grimy and slipping off condoms because they wanna hit raw.

Oh no! Yeah everyone know who you are dealing with! Dont just have sex for sexual purposes, like the person, talk about your future plans and that children are not to be involved until marriage. I know it doesnt happen that way but people really do not have that talk. The "What if you got pregnant" talk or " I dont want any kids" talk.

Forreal. And that pic of them little girls is sad. They all look 6 months preggers like they all planned it. Its not cute and I bet they are not smiling now. Trifling people!

I'm with you...I already nipped that crap in the butt.....I got on the IUD for 5yrs so none of that trapping crap will work and if I do decide to deal w/ a guy I'm not going to tell him that I'm on the IUD.

But pregnancy is the least of ppls problems...there are std's out there that are life threatening.

I don't see the point in trying to trap anybody if they want to be with you they will stick around your ass, a baby doesnt change anything but the household #.
The trap game is sad and ends with no winners when will ppl learn. . .smdh

Women that do this are the number 1 problem in the black community, fuck drugs! Black and white feminist have made these women feel like they are victims of black men or so called "deadbeats," so these women never see anything wrong in what they do. The media gets their ratings and the state, government, and women get their money while the black family suffers.

my situation was worse, i was dealing with a guy that didnt tell me he had a girl, i guess she worked in and out of the state so was never home, DID I TELL YOU WE OFTEN WERE TOGETHER IN THEIR HOME? he told me he had a roomate, and even removed all the pictures of them from the home, while she was out on business, he is 40 and they have no kids, i am 25. we dated heavily and the moment i brought up protection he wasnt really feeling it, but i didnt find out til i got pregnant that he was taking the condom off, repeatedly and wasnt pulling out, nonetheless i got pregnant, then found out he had a girlfriend. i told her then, he never spoke to me again..and you know what?? she is mad at me!! because she feels like i trapped her man and seduced him! when he never told me, my baby girl is due in june..i am so hurt it just makes me wanna cry..i wanted an abortion but he was against it and when i went to the clinic and heard some machines i left outta there..seeing that pic brings tears to my eyes..why would anyone do this on purpose.

Damn...I'm sorry you had to experience that.

I hate when females get mad at the next female b/c HER man was the one out doing dirt. She's a fool and will get what the hell she deserves.

What dude did was hella shady...I bet he'll think twice when he get that notification for those child support payments.

yeah, i mean i am not gonna go for cs, he is broke as hell, from what she says when she contacted me he has no money and pays no bills, but it just hurts so much that a man that was happy when i told him i was pregnant would then turn around and never speak again because she found out..i would think a REAL MAN wouldnt let a woman that is not even his wife come between him and his child..especially a little girl..and before i got pregnant he always just to mention how he dont have kids and wished that he had a little girl... i still wonder does he even care, eventhough he probably dont. She even was disguising herself on myspace to get on my page, and was constantly asking me about my pregnancy..i could just cry thinking abou it

oh and they are still together and i think she told him , he CANNOT see his child if he wants to continue to be with her...what a dirty bitch evil.l but he is WORSE. if he would have given me the money to get a abortion i would have done it, but geez why would he turn me against terminating the pregnancy if he knew he had a woman at home??? i just dont get it, men can be even worse than women in these circumstances..

Sorry to hear about your situation hopefully this guy will wake up and do what's right for the child sake. Good luck and congrats on the baby girl

Because men don't think about the way this can change a person's life. I look at my situation with my kids and who i was before I had children and who i am now, and it's a big difference. It changed my life in ways I had no clue. It lead me down a road that I was not prepared for.

But what is done is done and now you need to do the best thing you can do. Which is move on and raise your child. He will come around. And when he does you have to be strong for your child. Not hold any grudged but by no means do you need to be with this man. You can raise a child by yourself. and put him on child support you deserve help. Don't keep your child away from him, he needs to see his child but don't push the child on him...

He will come around trust me. It just takes time and every thing will work it's self out. If you ever need to talk hit me up.

thanks alot, it is good to hear a mans perspective, it is hard to think that when it all happened, i was for having a abortion, but he was against it and then when his woman found out, he never spoke again, she i am sure is telling him to not see his kid, and she has even been stalking me on facebook. i am happy now, but how selfish some people can be to want to create life to make themselves feel better and dont think about the kids position in all of this. i just hate that my child is the target for the ignorance even though i was the one that was mislead and now my baby girl will probably not ever meet her father, i will not let her be subjected to a woman that is bitter her man cheated and wants to blame me and make my child suffer.

I am so sorry you have to experience this and that he did this to you.

If he doesn't want to see his child then that's his loss...b/c when his daughter grows up and wants to know why....he's evenuatlly is going to have to answer b/c your daughter will eventually try to find him.

And it's so sad that another child has to be raised w/o a father. But you know what...God will bless the two of you. You will meet a guy someday and he'll be a good man to you and your daughter.

I can't believe females are still creating fake myspace pages to find out info on females. I hope you blocked her now that you know what it is. And don't let everyone on your page.

Try to stay positive :)

yeah i wrote about that, like these women who stand outside of the abortion clinics don't understand what a woman goes through when making that decision to have an abortion. I'm sure you can raise the kid by yourself and be sure to put him on child support. because it will help but at the end of the day. It might just be all on you and it will change your life forever. It's sad. very sad that people do this...

Just reading all these comments entertain me.I'm glad I'm a virgin.I keep a dude in check.No time for catching feelings over dick.I'm too selfish.All my friends got knocked up for doing shit like this and this was around 13 and I'm 22 now.Men need to be smarter because they just looking for a quick nut!Haha, that is what you get.Think with your head and not your dick!

why are you still a virgin?

All i can say is wow. What kind of morons do this ish? They need a reality check a BIG ASS ONE....

wasn't sw1 the name of the dj on In Living Color? lol just kidding

(NO OFFENSE LADIES) BUT.......
#1 NEVER TAKE A CONDOM FROM A FEMALE!
#2 NEVER USE A CONDOM THAT WAS LEFT IN THE PRESENCE OF A FEMALE!

Oh please.....did u read The Wiz story about how HE trapped a female?!

if you can say #1 and #2 above then females should be able to say.

#1 Never trust a guy to keep the condom on
#2 Never let him switch positions w/o checking for the condom
#3 Make him pull out periodically to check & make sure the condom is still on.
#4 Wear the female condom in conjunction to making him use a condom.

So Mrs. HeadMistress was right about this forever punishment thing ??
I think I have officially become the example/poster child . . .smh

I'm not punishing you Wizzy.....

I was just referencing back to your situation b/c men are guilty of it too.

And granted you're the only guy who openly admitted it...so you're getting a lot of the heat. But it's similar to the R. Kelly situation of him sleeping w/ young girls. A lot of artist did it, but R. Kellz got caught. It's the same w/ ur situation. A lot of guys do it, but you openly admitted to it and it bit you on the ass.

As of this moment. I NESS will not punish you for your decisions and I will not hold anything against you or say anything negative :)

LOL. . .Thank you Ms Ness he feel\s,like everyone is attacking him

Exactly!

@ #4 Female Condoms - Good Answer

*applauds as the light goes on in my head* duh...LOL

Never used 'em so I completely forgot they even existed...and I guess that kinda answers my other question ;-)

whatever I don't know a female who knows what a female condom looks like or even know how to use it. Let alone a dental damn. I have both and every woman be like for real let me see it.

only thing women know is plan b and birthcontrol. smch!

Not all women Xilla, but sadly, you are right, a lot do fit your description...

I'm realizing I've allowed myself to be oblivious (ignorant even) to certain things because of standards I've set for myself and the way I've chosen to conduct myself sexually...it's not just "anything goes" for me...

Ugh...but that's just me and my heart is so effing heavy right now with the all the shyt I'm realizing that my kid has to face with regards to sex - it's not just being safe but being smart and aware of other people's twisted intentions...

Yup...!

They are the answer lol.....granted sex might feel a whole lot different w/ a male condom AND the female condom lol.

Haha!!!

I definitely got some reading to do, so they can be used together ??? I looked briefly on the PP site, it didn't say one way or the other but I know you can't double up on regular condoms - maybe them being non latex makes the difference ??? definitely got my research cut out for me

Thanx Gurl :-D

No problemo!

I'm sure they can be used together if needed. I think the next time I go to the gyn I'm going to inquire about different ways to nip these guys who try to trap a female by taking off the condom.

I just researching & it said that they FC and the MC can't be used together b/c of friction and it might cause either product to fail.

I think I would just stop having sex completely lol

I swear sometimes sex is not worth it...

Lili made some good ass points below...about really knowing WHO you are messing with, even if it's just for fun...

There's an expression that goes something like "people will show you who they are and it's up to you to believe them"

Many of us see those warning signs and choose to ignore or out of lack of experience we just miss them altogether...

A lot of people don't understand why I'm overly analytical and quick to dismiss those who demonstrate lack of character but fuck that , thats how I avoid the BS for the most part and if you can't pass my character test you don't belong in my world..friends, family and men included!

I agree..sometimes...sex isn't worth it at all b/c it comes w/ so many strings attached.

I agree w/ what Lili said also....and I like the expression you quoted....it makes perfect sense.

I feel like I'm a lot like you...(twin) I look at things on a deeper level. If something happens, then it's for a reason and I react off of that reason. Most people don't understand it, but it's not for them to understand b/c it's my life and my method to this thing we call life. Every is a "sign". And if I don't recognize it and act off of it then I'm a fool for not following my intuition.

all that to me seem like some Maury type shit.
a real woman would never pull any of those stunts.
i feel sorry for any man that picked up a bad fruit.

you're right but there are not a lot of real women out here.

I hate hearing that Xilla, mainly because so many guys say that, but when they get a nice girl they still don't appreciate her. There are as many real women as there are men.

There are women with no morals and no understanding of family values and why it's best to bear and raise children within a committed, long-lasting relationship --preferably marriage. A lot of those women (and girls) do what was described in your post.


But there are just as many men with the same attitudes and outlook on life. Men trap women. Some do it intentionally- some of your female readers have attested to that in their comments above and I truly feel for them and their children who were conceived within deceit.

Some men simply make irresponsible decisions and think with the wrong head- they decide to have sex without a condom (the female is also at fault, of course) KNOWING that they will most likely impregnate the woman they are sleeping with. If they have SOME control, they might "pull out", but when they get to that point they most likely won't. And then it falls on the woman to "handle" the situation (if she isn't on BC). A lot of times, when women don't terminate the pregnancy guys say they're trapped.

If you're saying there aren't a lot of real women out there you have to also say there aren't a lot of real men.

Truth is a lot of men decide to sleep with women they KNOW aren't positive, responsible females, so when condoms get poked, or when they decide to go unprotected with a chick who claims to be on BC and shit happens they knew in the back of their head the chick was questionable. They just wanted to get a nut and hoped for the best.

A lot of women don't take the time to get to know the men they let in their bodies. A man who takes the condom off during sex without informing you, or lies about having a vasectomy is a deceitful, manipulative person who most likely had character flaws that would have surfaced OUTSIDE the bedroom if a woman gave herself some time to get to know him.

Let's not talk about the bad intentions of other men and women. Let's talk about being careful with whom WE choose to sleep. Even if all you want is fun- there are decent men and women out there who just want to have fun and not have kids be the result.

If we choose better partners stories like this will be reduced dramatically!

Standing Ovation!!!!!!!!!!!

I 2nd that!

:-D

There are move of us REAL females out here than they think, or want to believe.

lol

I agree w/ that....!

So many ppl focus on the negative instead of the 'real deal' people.

Yea...ppl don't want the real deal. They say they do, but for some, when they get a quality man or woman it takes too much effort and work to maintain something healthy and real with them because they'll call you on your BS and tell you when you're slacking. And simply because it isn't easy.

But when you get caught up in situations like these that good girl (or good guy) you turned away looks reeeeally appealing.

@ The Wiz (that space was gettin kinda tight...LOL)

You can talk about your baby girl, that's something we won't fault you for, shows you're in her life an hopefully being responsible...

LOL @ queen of insults - well the queen of sarcasm can't help herself sometimes so you might get a few more from me, when I have a good one, but it's not malicious, if it helps just know that I'm smiling anytime I say something slick

if u poke a hole in my condom, i'm shooting a hole thru ur............ let me stop the violence. I watch condom process very carefully.