Women Can’t Cook and Here Is My Rant

Posted in Relationships on Mar 26, 2009

 

 

There is an old adage which states that a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Well I believe that a lot of females have forgotten that saying. But whose fault is it? The Mother’s for not teaching her daughter how to cook? The Daughter for not learning how to cook? or the Dad’s for walking out on the mother, leaving the mother to work all day and not find time for her child?

Regardless of whose fault it is, I’m a bit perturb at the idea that 75% of females I’ve been with can’t or couldn’t cook. There was the one who could only boil chicken, the one who burned a hamburger and another who knew how to order the best of everything that delivered. I can ORDER CHINESE BY MY DAMN SELF!!

Learn to cook watch Rachel Ray, scream BAM from the kitchen every now and then when you through some seasoning in a pot of stew. I want to smell the aroma of basil and 35 herbs and spices resonating from the kitchen area every once in a while. I get tired of the scent of MSG coming from a brown paper bag with a white plastic bag with a smile on the front. I have at least 400 little pieces of cardboard in my cabinet drawer from bottom of the bag when I ordered take out. A million menus and way too many packets of soy sauce in my BRROOWWNN PAaapperr BAaagggg!! I feel like DJ. Khalid or something.

Besides I don’t want to have to look Mr. Chan in the eye while he fumbles for my change in his pockets with hopes that I tell him to keep the change. Because I’m not going to tell him to keep the change b/c I’m going to have to see him again in a few days because my girl can’t cook!! SMCH!!!


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  • poor xilla. my mama and my grandma taught me throw down. my man aint NEVER gotta beg for a home cooked meal, lol
  • AmoraAtlanta
    i'm a southern girl it a rite of passage when you learn how to cook!!!!!!!!!!!! These Independent Women be mostly the can't cook ones and got saying I got that good good BUT DO YOU have some good food cause Takeout only taste good for a day!!!!!!!!LOL
  • OooLaLa
    My mother, aunts and grandmother are from the islands, and learning how to cook was a requirement in my family. Now I cook about 3 times a week, and I love to experiment with new dishes every now and then. I take pride in my cooking.

    I think all mothers should at least teach their daughters the basics... enough to be able to feed their children and hubby in a healthy manner, if needed ... although let's face it, some women are extremely challenged in that department.
  • Dizz
    I think all mothers should teach thier daughers AND sons at least the basics. Why just the female?
  • OooLaLa
    You're absolutely right. Nothing is sexier than a man who can actually cook.
  • TRJ
    i hate a girl that cant cook. i will cook sometimes just to prove i know how to work the kitchen but its nothing like having a good meal cooked by your girl. thats one of the main reasons why a man loves to visit moms house, no matter what time of the day it is she is going to cook you a good meal. even if you say your not hungry once you smell the food your stomach will growl, and to have a your wifey do the same thing in the kitchen is a major plus
  • Reesethe
    OK. So where in the black men rule book does it say that men that learn how to cook. I can throw down but I wont cook for just anyone. Men in general need to learn how to cook for themselves. I love this site to death Xilla but you can be sexist sometimes.
  • Dizz
    I agree...I hate when you've had a few conversations on the phone with a dude and he asks...can you cook? when are you gonna cook for me?? i"m like WTF?? Nicca when are you gonna cook for me? Where is it mandated that a female must know how to cook? Nicca can YOU cook?
  • babydoll
    E-fuckin-xactly!! I hate that "can u cook, when u gonna cook" question. You know what negro, when u go buy a $100 worth of groceries, and from Whole Foods mind you, then i might think about cooking for your bold ass! I hate that question. Especially if they haven't not done a damn thing to deserve a homecooked meal yet. UGH!!! lol
  • Reesethe
    Yes. I think the problem is that its 2009 and black men still want women to be their maids. Real men know how to cook and all that cooking is a way to a man's heart makes no sense. If I have to put on like Im Betty Crocker just to get a man to want me then I guess Im outta luck. I can cook but Im not going to just for a man to want me. Im not even gonna touch on the fact that its usually only black men who ask. When men from other ethnicities try to come at me they never ask anything that shallow. We are not in the 1960's. If I meet a black man usually the first thing out his mouth is can I cook. But right after he asks me I ask them if they have 401K, health insurance, stock options and a good retirment savings plan. 9 times out of 10 they dont even know what I'm talking about. So they gets no holla. How you gonna ask me if I can cook and you working at the gas station cleaning windows? LOL.
  • TRJ
    it is not sexist its just the simple fact that women should know how to cook. i know how to cook. its just one of those things that women should do for their man. like when a man takes his lady out he is suppose to know where he is going to take her he is not suppose to ask "where you want to go", pay for everything, and not go half way or use the lame excuse "i forgot my wallet". some women will work with a man who falls short at these things but most will say he is not on his sh!t,so why should women be on their sh!t and know how to cook. its not like ima ask my girl "cook me something" everytime im hungry, but then again it would be nice to come home to a home cooked meal. men should know to cook but if a female doesnt there's a problem and if she doesnt know to cook how is she going to eat if she alone?
  • theFEMALE
    as an independent woman, i agree.
    i dont believe its about sexism, at all.
    as people we ALL gotta eat, so your better off knowing how to cook.

    i personally like to cater to my man and cooking is just one of those things on that list.
    i mean why not?


    and question,
    if you dont feel like going for the extra mile for that person,
    why are you with them?
  • Reesethe
    OK. I get your point but I meant this blog being sexist sometimes not men asking women to cook (Please refer to first post.). Men and women should "cater" to each other. It would be nice to come home and have a nice home cook meal but in reality it will rarely happen if your a woman. Going the "extra mile" is not just cooking for that person its being there in general and riding for my man who is worth everything adn anything to me. TRJ I think you may be living in a fantasy world with that thing that "women should do for men". Thats not a requirement and if it is I feel sorry for the women you know. T
  • Phil
    Well, I feel very fortunate that I've chosen a woman who can cook her sweet ass off! Italian, Carribbean, Spanish food...she does it all! She watches the Food Network at random if we start getting bored, lol.

    I'll tell you who's the worst transgressor of this: Beyonce'. She admitted it more than once. That nig Hov is eating OUT my dude.
  • shayna
    :: hangs head ::

    sorry....cant cook.
  • Dizz
    Girl you better hold your head up...just casue you're a female does not mean you HAVE to know how to cook! ;o)
  • babydoll
    Don't hang your head gurl, there is other things(more important things) to being a smart, beautiful black woman than knowing how to throw around some damn dishes.
  • Jamie8706
    I don't feel bad I can't cook neither
  • bfount
    I like to eat too much to not know how to cook. I learned how to cook for myself, any man that gets me gets a bonus because I can cook. But to think that I was taught to cook for a man is ridicuous. Any man that gets me, should consider himself lucky that he found someone who likes food cuz I can throw down!!!
  • hazysin
    My family being from the southern...i started learning how to cook early. Around 10-11 (when i started acting a fool)...i was forced to follow my grandma everywhere, kitchen included.....back then it pissed me off but the countless hours spent in the kitchen have definitely paid off

    now my man....his cooking sucks, he attempts so i give him an E for effort but because his momma babied him....him can barely make pb&j. I believe that both sexes should be able to cook, that why i have started instructing my son on basic things
  • HeadMistress
    I'm curious to know WTF these 75% are eating....takeout? all the time? ugh

    All women should know how to cook.....for "at the very least" THEMSELVES!!!

    Then cooking for your man and/or your kids once you have them isn't a problem...

    Takeout and drive thrus should be a once in a while treat because even with dollar menus that shyt gets expensive, not to mention unhealthy... grocery shopping and cooking is basic, cost effective survival
  • Isis
    My moms, grandma and aunts taught me how to cook at a very young age and by the time I was eleven I had taken over my mamas kitchen. and every boyfriend I ever had I cooked for (I like to consider myself the girl who set the standard in that category, my very first bf still faves about my food & we were only 15). But I wasn't trying to get to a mans heart, i (as well as my siblings) was tiered of eating restaurant food when my moms worked late.

    I don't see how a woman could not learn to cook, D@*$ at least do it for yourself
  • Eventhough I can cook....its still hilarious that women are the automatic cookers or supposed cookers of the house. Shit when I get home, I would love to smell those same 35 herbs and spices without the hassle of having to do it myself. Its good to cook for your man....but shit, this ain't a restaurant and I'm not Woofgang Puck, your personal chef...he can cook too...

    That same path to a mans heart is the way to a lot of women's pussy....lol.
  • EbonyLolita
    OK Xilla here you go with the Cooking business again. I have Southern and West Indian Roots. My parents are still together after 37 yrs of marriage. My mother can't cook to save her life, she attempts and fails. But, you know what?? My father eats it like it's the best thang since sliced bread. I love that about them. Me?? Yes I can cook b/c I've tried/failed/won in the kitchen. I've had to learn from my aunts/godmummy/selftaught.

    But, why do men think that just b/c they sling the "D" good I should be Aunt Jemima'n it & Betty Crocker'n all the day long? C'mon life is hectic at times.

    @Reese. I agree wholeheartedly. I wouldn't require my man to cook and he shouldn't require me to cook. I'll do it when I have the inspiration and/or the time. Right nowI'm single/work crazy hrs and am often home so late that cooking would be a waste b/c he'd a starved by then. So..... don't put pressure on a woman who can cook or doesn't know how. Why don't you show her how it's done and see if she has potential in the kitchen in. Sheeesh a sista can't be SupaWoman all the time.
    * shrugs shouldas & scratches weave in bewilderment*
  • jeatom
    I can cook ---- but back in the days women use to be home with the family and had time to cook robust meals.... 2009 - we work 10 hours a day. So guest what, dinner might be some boxed frozen something that you just add meat too.
    On days off from work, planning is in effect.... You might get some jerk chicken, rice & peas, collard greens etc..... But don't expect that ish every day......
    Take out - hey.... might be once or twice a week.... but it doesn't always have to be Chinese food.... you can pick up a salad or go to Publix for their rotisserie chicken.....
    Any women can cook if they can read... we are to wired (i.e. FoodTV, Internet, cook book, etc) not to know how to get down in the kitchen
  • TheWiz
    I don't think i could date a woman who couldn't cook. I'm not asking that she be able to qualify for a t.v. show, just don't be one of those chicks who burn water, and knows the menu to every restaurant in a five mile radius. I myself can cook so I find it very sexy to be able to prepare a meal with my woman or have a surprise dinner waiting on me (that doesn't lead to me finding a million takeout containers. . lol). No ones asking you ladies to step back into the 60's just can u please offer more than Roman (sp ?) noodles and cereal
  • Men are the true chefs anyway.
  • Janee
    Look i DO NOT know how to cook...and im fine with that...i know how to feed myself, i can make salad, mac and cheese, how to bake, fry a chicken and steam vegetables but thats were it ends. I do not havve the patience nor drive to cook either and i dont see me learning anytime in the future. I wont be cooking for no and or making the effort to learn unless he is worth it and honestly not alot of men are. Not only that I was never really pushed to learn since my mother and father cooked equally and now that im in college and living in a dorm were am i supposed to learn?..i jus dont see myself cooking anything for these picky headed boys no time soon
  • Blacksand
    You can cook Ms. Acevero. You just have to expand your skill set. You already have the basics. A little tutelage and you are straight! I for one don't care that a woman can't cook. It is a learned skill that takes time. I have been cooking since I was 11. I actually prefer to cook because I enjoy it. It is a stress reliever to me. Different strokes for different folks! that is what I believe.
  • babydoll
    Are we the same person? I nodded in agreement with EVERY word you said.
  • Blacksand
    Great minds think alike babydoll!! Have a great weekend!!
  • Craigory
    Well, I'm a man with my roots in the islands and we all know how to cook, very well actually. I like knowing that when I'm in between relationships, I dont have to wait for a meal, or order anything. Plus alot of women now adays just dont want to cook or do much of anything because they're too busy playing the game and seeing how much we as men are going to "compromise". Either way, I don't care, all American black women I've met want to cook is fried chicken and macaroni and cheese anyway, adding to my high cholesterol and messing with my lactose intolerance.
  • I can cook. It may not be like the movie "Soul Food", but I can cook.

    Co-sign with Dizz as far as a man asking upon first meeting if you can cook and when are you gonna cook for him.

    At some point, you do get tired of all that takeout and want a home cooked meal. Takeout and eating out at restaurants is getting too expensive. One day, chicken wings and pork fried rice is going to go up to $10, as messed up as the ecomony is!
  • luciouskitty
    Too bad for you. :( That is the one thing that my Mom made sure of. She showed me and my sisters how to cook, but I was the only one interested in learning. Anyway.... that saying is soo true. My cooking for my man has gotten me a long way. My BF who is several years younger than me moved out of his his apartment and moved in with me and my kids, got me a car,and left all of his previous hood buggers alone for me. My cooking among OTHER things got me my man. So the ladies out there who can't cook need to step their game up.
  • Buzzy
    This is why 26% of black men, and 50% of black women are obese...and let's not talk about the just plain ole fat ones. We need to ask WHAT can you cook.....veggies, beans, rice, gluten free pasta? Please, I cook for me, and my little one's. When I was married, I cooked for me and the little one's, my ex just benefited because he was their. i am not trying to throw down for some grown azz man. Where do these stupid sayings come from....through the stomach....give me a break. Men, gotta job? Got some benefits? Pay your child support? See your children consistantly? Now those are some important questions. Can I cook? Nuna, cause I won't be cooking for you. ;))))
  • Buzzy
    Oh, and to the woman who said that other ethnicities of men don't ask this question...this is soooo true. I was engaged to a european man for a couple of years before I was married, and he never asked me this....he actually asked me what my favorite foods were, and proceded to find new ways in which HE could make them for ME! This through a man's stomach thing is definitely cultural.
  • The Don
    U know what a woman that cook is lame just like a dude that cant change a tire its one of those things ima need you to know how to do to be considered a full grown woman just like theres things every man should know.
  • honestly my mother taught me not to rely on a woman to cook. she told me i would end up starving if i did. i can cook for myself. with that being said, i still love it when a woman can throw down in the kitchen. its really sexy. i love to eat, so i guess it goes hand in hand.
  • i feel you.. but at the same time. that's why i learned how to cook myself!
  • BajanBeauty
    Both myself and my older brother know how to cook. My Mum always a man should know how to cook that way he's not dependent on a woman to cook for him. I feel you should know to cook just to feed yourself at lease.
  • You are picking the wrong women but I am thankful that you qualified that statement by saying that 75% that you met and not women in general. My ma and grandma wouldn't have allowed me to not learn what to do in the kitchen but you got to be special for me to cook for you.

    Maybe you should learn (only if you don't know ) and work with the ladies because like the poster said there is nothing sessier than a man who can cook.
  • Awesome, yeah I can't cook like a chef but I try! And I think that this is a must, read a recipe, google some things... women we gotta get it together.... what are we going to do feed the babies Mc Donalds?
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