5 Signs You’re Dating A Stalker

Posted in Relationships on Mar 23, 2009

 

Photo By Pudge Photos

Photo By Pudge Photos

“Being with an insanely jealous person is like being in the room with a dead mammoth.” Mike Nichols. An overprotective relationship can seem like you are serving a jail term where you get to have sex at least once a week. One day while walking out of my apt in NC, I saw this girl whom I haven’t seen since the day I moved in, she was walking super fast, I later found out she was sneaking out of the house to escape her alcoholic boyfriend who beat her up and kept her tied down with the baby. She would have done anything I wanted her to do, just for the experience of being free that night. I didn’t take her up on her offer, although something deep down inside wanted to, because she was beautiful. But, for the year I never seen her I wonder if she knew she was in a toxic relationship.

Here are some signs you’re with an overprotective lover:

Mr. Telephone Man:

  • Does your lover check your phone? If so you might be with an overprotective person. Trust is the key to this post, and in a relationship trust is vital to having some sort of freedom in order to keep your sanity. No one wants to have their interaction with someone policed. Now granted people are grimy in general, and a friend of the opposite sex, can be a lover without you knowing. Will Forte wrote “Steve was incredibly nice, but in a way someone might be nice when they are sleeping with your girlfriend” You just never know, but at the end of the day freedom is needed and being the phone police is not the way to do it.
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  • DomiMami
    Stalkin is some bullshit and almost ALWAYS lead to someone getting hurt. I havent personally had this experience, but have had a multitude of girlfriends, even some guy friends that this has happened to.
    If you feel someone is soimportant to you, where you dont feel you can stand the thought of what he/she is doing without you and MUST know.....its time personal space. Time out, Vacay...SUMN. Its too easy nowadays for someone to become fixated on you, then that lead to stalking, then that leading to hurting/mudering someone. I mean really yall, how often do we see this in these days in our time?
    SAD
  • Reesethe
    I wish I had this advice a couple years ago. This guy I was messing with got too serious too fast. He used to watch me at the bus stop when I went to work in the morning and afternoon from the fast food restaurant across the street. He would clock me too see if I got home 10 minutes after the bus pulled off. He had his friends call my cell phone and act like they just got my number to see if I was faithful to him. After a couple of months I finally got the hint when he strangled this stray cat and put it in front of my door one night when I turned off my phone. Yes, CRAZY with all caps. Needless to say I changed my number and the next time I heard from him I had a little backup so he wasn't a problem anymore.
  • MAN! This is a gr8 post! I've had 2 official stalkers in my day (where restraining orders were involved) and a few other crazies...I agree...if you have to do all that phone checking/question-asking/SpySpace snooping/club following...maybe u should get out of that relationship!!! I know a woman RIGHT now whose man is a ToTal jerk...and she goes as far as to put spyware on his comp and gps on his fon...yet she stays with him and complains! I'm like..."This is the dumbest bish on Earf!" Move on already!
  • ...also(while I'm still on my soapbox)...my granny told me, when you go looking for something, you're always gonna find sumthin u wish you hadn't! The same chick I spoke of earlier...ALWAYS finds her man fucking someone else! I'm like...have a lil common sense, stop being 00Negro for a min. and realize...you have a mountain of evidence to prove this nigga cares less about u than himself...get a life of ur own! OK...I'm finished *steps off of soapbox*
  • Jane D
    Lord, that's how some people end up dead, ain't nobody in the world that serious!!!!
    I have only dealt with a crazy one time in my life, he had a network of spies, and he used to say things that I had the nerve to think was cute, like "you know if you leave me, I won't stop until I get you back"....no that's crazy talk right there. You pretty much touched on all the ways overprotective lover's will keep tabs, i'm sure people have become much more creative with they spy game nowadays but I'm not trying to find out how much
  • ihateu
    hmmm..lets see...he would all my cell phone at 4 am and then my home phone to see for sure if i was at home...he would come to mu faculty to verify my schedule..he was jealous even on my cat for god sakes...he would call all my friends and asked if i was cheating on him...gosh...the dark years of my life lol...glad it s over
  • ihateu
    he would call*
  • Squishy
    Now what if I wasn't being the phone police and I find incriminating evidence? I had a similar experience with my ex. He used to go to sleep much later than I did and he would wait until I was knocked out and then go through my phone and try to "interpret" text messages from classmates and random nobody's from high school. He did crazy shit like hack into my myspace account and turned into the Hulk over a message from somebody I went to high school with 4 years ago. That guy suggested we get together and catch up. There was no chemistry between me and the guy then and there wasnt any when this happened, but he flipped.

    I was looking through his PICTURES--his mom has foster kids and I was looking through the pics he'd taken of them when I ran across a pic of his ex (who he swore he never saw or talked to anymore) and a pic of some tramp in her panties. When I confronted him he accused me of doing the "Same thing I got pissed at him about"

    That's not the same, now is it?????
  • Sand bag boobs... Come on now!
  • yes
    ridiculous! this is why u need to be in your kids lives, they may develop serious issues like this!
  • Isis
    I had this guy who second guessed everything I said, If I said I was going out with friends or family etc. he would second guess it. Then he would ask the same ? a million times to see if my answer was the same. On top of checking out my myspace and having people watch me. Restraining order came into play when I caught him sitting out side my house on about four different occasions.. . . SMH. . .so stalkers form when parents stop hugging ???. . .lol
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