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I totally agree, men should be totally upfront with their intentions; I'm grown, I can deal with that. I'm pretty blunt myself, so I would prefer to know exactly what the man wants, so I can decide whether I want to deal or not.

Exactly I don't know why men lie... Its this reason why men end up getting hurt by women because eventually they'll have to start playing the game and it's more than likely because they've been hurt by a lying dude.

Let's not forget that a lot of women can't handle the thruth, and that's why some men will resort to lying to get it. But regardless, men should be candid about their intentions, and let the woman decide if she wants to proceed or not.

ooola la I agree but if she cant handle the truth she sure cant handle him takin the goodies and running so he would be better to be upfront or risk having a crazy chick on his hands

XILLA I MISSED U!!!

That is true. However, honesty is still the best policy. And I've always been told that you can say anything to anybody. It is all in the delivery. If you are very tactful you can tell a woman the truth no matter what it is and make her feel comfortable with reassurance afterwards. And most men don't realize that a woman knows upon site if you can get it or not. That's the truth. Men don't have to lie. All they have to do is be mature, honest and respectful concerning their intentions with the woman who will either go there or say no.

You are on it Ms. OooLaLa.

right cuz u when u get to lying and cant follow through with the pipe dreams ur shots of getting any of this here aint gon happen!

Straight to the point, I respect that. Yes, I do.

....agreed; anything else, is uncivilized!

Thanks Belly, I have my "Degree" in sexology!!! lol That is Degree right? or is it Right Guard?

lol it was right guard... close enough tho. i personally use degree anyway.

What dudes out there are leading women to believe they are in love just to get the pussy? o_O

Pussy is just that pussy. There is plenty of it out there in the world that you can get without having to lie. If i'm looking for nothing more than sex you best believe I'm making my intentions known up front. If I'm looking for just a good time then I'll let you know that as well.

Good discussion but I just can't believe dudes are still doing this in 2009. lol.

men will always lie to get sex. it's stupid and unnecessary most of the time, but i think it will always be a part of the male species. lol.

we don't have to be in Love, but there is definitely not going to be a cut-buddy situation for me. so with that in mind, i think that's why i've been lied to LOTS of times in failed attempts to have sex with me.

not saying they couldn't just go to the next girl who'd do it without all the hassle, but that is one of the reasons.

you are so silly for some of the things in this post though. lmao.

Back in the days when I used to be 'a bag girl' (lol) I liked when guys were up front w/ me. At that time I didn't mind dating guys who were involved b/c it allowed me to have more freedom & less drama.

So I choose honesty...but at the same time...most guys can't handle honesty being given back to them.

I prefer honesty. I always have and always will. If you are man enough to ask the question be man enough to accept whatever answer you receive. That is what my father told me when I was a boy. I am a man now and that still rings true to me.

A woman who was kissed by the sun told me the truth will set me free.
So I took the truth and flew high like a bird above the sea.
She never told me the truth could hurt.
But in knowing I would be free.
I found that out on my own.

Honesty yup, defintely honesty all the time for me.

I agree...if u can ask the question then you have to be prepared for the answer and not get mad at it b/c it's what u asked for. Ur father is cool by me :)

The most amazing thing about the truth is that it doesnt necessarily hurt, but it stings and it only last for a few seconds but it feels like an eternity. When people want to know the truth...the truth is that they already have an idea of what it is they just need confirmation.

I try to be as honest as possible b/c I would expect the same.

BTW...nice lil insert about 'truth'....
The truth is I've never had blacksand (in the actual sense of having blacksand on my body or in between my toes)...lol...meaning the beach lol

Yeah, Pops taught my two older brothers and I a lot. He made sure we were thorough in everything we attempted.

Your thoughts on truth were on point. I always enjoy good conversation. You make valid points but they are not harsh or cutting but light like a soft summer breeze. I appreciate your wordplay.

I can see that you are honest by your views. I respect that.

I am glad you enjoyed my insert concerning truth. I wrote it just then. I've added it to my book of poetry or my private thoughts so to speak..

Again, I thoroughly enjoy your word play and I am quite sure you would enjoy Blacksand (gently on your body or in between your toes)...lol... Oh so beautiful wordplay Ness.

Always a pleasure, until tomorrow Ness...

Only a real man can teach his sons how to be men :) And it sounds like he did a good job.

I'm going to get to experience the experience of blacksand one day :)

See ya'

Buena manana la hermosa, (good morning beautiful one) that is so true. I am glad you think so. Thus far I would say this work in progress is doing well humbly speaking. Thank you!

You should, the Blacksand experience is a beautiful thing...yes, it is.

Tranquila, (take it easy)

Awwww.....how cute and sexy.... lol.

I will definitely "take it easy" lol.....

Happy Humpday!

I try Ness, I try...lol..

That's right, slow and easy is how I do it unless my mood changes.

One good hump deserves another!!

Happy Humpday to you too beautiful!!

Lol....hahahahaha

:)

I can put my life saving on what im about to say (it ain't much but i'll risk it) If more men would be upfront and honest from their introduction...then Cheaters & Snapped would not still be on. Give us all the info from the beginning and let us decide in which ways (if any) that we want to deal with you. No more bamboozling & hoodwinking in '09

I definitely agree with the article and everybody else. Give me the choice to decide if I want to go there with you. I mean, to think I don't have needs too is absurd.

i agree with the article however i have lied to girl not to beat it but to keep beating it and it wasnt one of those lies that i pulled out of the sky but it was like a truth not the truth (yes theres a difference). she let me get it off the bucks but after that she kept asking me to wife her and i told her that i didnt want a girl at the moment which a truth because i didnt want a relationship but the truth of the matter is that i wanted to keep have sex. i dont lie about anything now that was back in my high school days im straight forward although it is a little tough to find a way to bluntly tell a female i want to have sex with saying "i want to have sex" and not be offensive sometimes

I've been saying this to dudes for years. . .and they all look at me like I've got 5 eyes or something. Then they just tell me most chicks aint like me. I didn't believe that then & I don't believe it now. Just learn to say what you want. . . you may actually get it.

why should a woman be down for letting a man "smash", most of the time it's not a fair trade, sure he says he'll blow your back out each and every time but we ladies know, that's just not the case. You want my goods so what good's can u offer me, besides "mutual" sexual pleasure......I say it's like this I am a woman and I want an emotional connection along with my sex so if you can't offer me that, the next best thing you can offer me, that can actually add to my wordly existence is money....money can't buy love but it can sure as hell go toward rent, groceries, car notes etc. We all know that what a woman has between her legs is worth more than all the riches in the world, without men's dicks would wither and fall off and they would crumple and die.....power of the pussy, there is no power of the dick, good dick yes, but that's hard to find.....so in essence u wanns smash that, well I'd like to get a mani pedi this weekend, what's up now?

The road you are travelling goes both ways Jane D. All women are not the bomb in the bedroom. And all loving is not good loving. Some women say they can throw it and can't do a thing.

An emotional connection is what we all want whether we choose to admit it or not. Going from person to person gets old real fast. It is good to know that there is someone in your corner come hell or high water.

So what you are saying is if a man can't give you the emotional connection all he can do is give you money? That is what I read. Is that correct? WOW, that is crucial. We all know what a woman has between her legs is priceless. No, what a woman has between her ears is priceless. What lies between a womans legs can be found in abundance. That is not hard to find. And as far as men not being able to live without it, I can say the same for yal. It is a two way street that we as men and women travel down together. Women want sex just as bad as men do. The approach is the only thing that differs. Women are more subtle and discreet than men when it comes to getiing it. The power of a womans sex is potent. The power of how a woman can use her mind to affect a brother is limitless. As women you all have more power than you can possibly fathom. A woman can do two things to a man. A woman can act like the water that freezes and splits the rock or a woman can encourage her man and make him feel like there is nothing he can't accomplish with her by his side. The same can be said for a man in reference to his relationship with a woman.

So in essence you likened your most precious gift to a manicure and a pedicure. If that is all it is worth to you then you can keep that. A real woman is worth far more than a pedicure and a manicure. Her worth is above rubies, diamonds, tanzanite and other fine stones. A real woman is PRICELESS!!

You have more to offer than what is between your legs Ms. Jane D. That's what's up Repesctfully speaking..

I am HeadMistress and I APPROVE this message!!!

That's wassup my brotha......naw i guess i didn't mean it like that, i was speaking more in terms of like those dudes who roll up on you and I don't know him from a bump on a log and he wants to hit it, now I wasn't likening my sex to a manicure or a pedicure but its like I want something, if you want something....because like I said most times it's not a fair trade, I've been celibate for a year and there's a good reason for that, now you say I have more to offer than what's between my legs and I know that beyond a shadow of a doubt, my intelligence means more to me than my sex appeal, but most men act like all they can see is me from the neck down, so if you want to approach me like that's all I'm good for then why not give up something valuable, now I would never say this outright to a man, but it my own way I would make him pay, literally/figureatively before he got anything from me, I'm just a product of my experiences.....but much respect to u!

Ok, I hear what you are saying and I respect your view. Nuff respect to you too Jane D.

...LOL, what is this "Dr. Blacksand" hour? you bout to branch off to your own blog hommie

Co-sign, Blacksand comes wit it....LOL

I get the slow look when i tell a guy all I want is sex so lets not fall in love. Its like all the lies he was prepared to feed me started floating from his head. I don't understand why its so hard it is for two grown people to have a "just sex" relationship without complications.

I was upfront with this one dude about only wanting sex from him and he seemed to be cool with it but somewhere somehow he got caught up in the sex and fell in love. Start believing he could change my mind about being with him, then turned into a full fledged stalker

I think some men take it as a blow to their ego when a woman doesn't want him like others did, that when his female side show and he think sex can change the way you see or feel about him.

girl yes....thatz why i don't even mess with it because all it takes is one time with a crazy and........

lol. .yeah i learned that the hard way

As long as both parties understand and agree with what's going on, I see no problem with the smash and dip!!!

A close friend and I were actually just talking about this not too long ago. Not only guys, but girls as well can definitely work on being straightforward about what it is that they want. In regards to guys, some of them run around the truth so much that they don't even realize that 9 times out of 10 if they kept it 100 they could possibly get what they want. There are just as many chicks who are down for just getting smashed(not me) as there are guys who just want to smash.
As for the ladies if you're not down for fooling around with someone or are looking for a relationship, fooling with a dude in hopes that it'll turn into something that you want is NOT the mood. Then you get mad that he doesn't want to wife you or act up because ya'll aren't exclusive. To be honest you don't have a right to be upset, because just like he might not have been honest, neither were you... Both sides need to just say what they want.