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Break Bread
Posted in Relationships on 02. Mar, 2009
Photo By My Clockworks
If you’re sleeping with someone the least you can do is spend money on the person. A smart person once said “The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.” I can’t agree more, there is so many emotional battles involved with sex and love, that it really takes a toll on your body, mind, and heart. So why not get a little compensation out of the whole deal right?
A lot of women don’t believe in spending money on a man, some women will spend money, but won’t buy him sneakers. I guess they don’t want him to walk out of their life. Many men, are tighter than Kanye’s new pair of jeans when it comes to breaking bread with their lady. I believe it’s common courtesy to spend money on the person you’re sleeping with, and this goes for men and women.
Eventhough I believe this one thing that can never be done is throwing the things you’ve done in a person’s face. I dealt with a woman who spent a lot of money on me, mainly because i was down and out at the time. But since we broke up she continues to throw it in my face, sure she had more than me, but as a girlfriend it was something she should have done. Well at least that’s how I see things. When it comes to money and my lady I’m spending money, I’ll buy small gifts, spend money for a trips and events. While you don’t need money for a good time, it certainly helps. You can have a good time and open yourself up to new ad exciting things.
Some of my lady friends are shocked when I openly say if I’m f*cking them I have no problem spending money on them or giving them money. If you tell me you like a pair of shoes, I’ll ask how much are they, if I think something would look nice on you, please expect a text message asking what size you wear. Now don’t get me wrong I don’t do this with just any chick, because jump offs get nothing but hard D’ and bubble gum and maybe the occasional meal at their favorite restaurant.
What’s your stance on spending money on the person you’re sleeping with?
I don't sleep with just anybody, so when I am sleeping with someone/in a relationship I spoil them rotten. My last ex was down and out for a while and I was basically supporting him… helping with bills, buying clothes, paying most of the time when we went out and it wasn't a problem because I knew he wasnt in it for what I could buy him and once he got back on his feet he took care of me. It was give and take.
After we broke up he wanted to act like I never did anything for him and I had to set him straight though. I tried not to throw it in his face because I know men and their egos. I explained that I did everything I could for him while he was unemployed and that I wish he appreciated it more. He always wanted to let me know that he could survive without me and now I'm forcing him to do just that. He's down and out AGAIN and his phone just got cut off. Now he's jobless, phoneless, broke, and lonely.
“a hard D and bubble gum” WoW.lol
i wouldn't mind spending $$ on my significant other. i think its a common courtesy if you're dating someone to treat them @ times. if i have the money, then sure he could get some stuff..and vice versa.. i wouldn't walk around expecting my man to spend money on me all day every day but its cool every once in awhile
if its just some random dude..i'ono..thats different
I don't like to spend $$ on someone I'm just “sleeping” with….
If it's someone that I'm in a 'relationship' with then I don't mind spending on bdays and xmas…and maybe even picking up a nice shirt tht I thnk would look nice on him. I'll even treat him to dinner or a movie or even get good seats to a basket ball game.
I assumed we would all be sleeping with someone we were in a relationship with. Hence the Jump offs get hard dick and bubble gum
I am glad he is your ex, because it sounded like take and take and no giving AND he was ungrateful? Hmph!! I guess he learned what a good woman you are now huh?
But anyways- Full out supporting a man is very difficult concept to me, maybe I just havnen't loved someone enough-idk it just seem very risky, I am hella traditional and I will not buy anything for my guy for a long while, I might buy a few meals no problem, but that's it. My heart is connected to my bank account-lol.
My main chick, i spend money on her all day any day. I've bought her some high priced shit voluntarily and I love my bitch looking as fly as me….she can have whatever she liiiiiiikes.
Now my jumpoffs….mmmm….I'm by no means a frugal person but out of respect for my main chick (irony), I don't spend too much on em! I'd buy em a drink, an occasional meal, but thats about it. Clothes, bags, wallets, and all that “fly as Chadillac” stuff? NOPE.
Thats just me though
Not necessarily…..it depends on the type of relationship….tht's why I wrote it that way
Besides, we all know what guys do w/ jump offs nowadays…they spend $$ on them….and treat them like they are the main dish….
I don't have a problem with spending money on the one I'm sharing my bed with…as long as its mutual. I refuse to be the only one breaking bread. But, I like to do nice things and buy nice things for my guy, so money is not an issue. And whenever I want something, I get it! And great sex is a guaranteed way to make sure I do!
If I'm sleeping with someone, and I really enjoy their company, I always WANT to spend money on the person by buying him whatever I think he might like.
Now although I don't require for a man to buy me things, but receiving unexpected little gifts sure makes a girl feel special… it just lets you know the person thinks about you.
Is this unusual? Why the need for the topic….do people believe that they shouldn't buy nice things for their S/O? I'm confused…..
i agree with ness…i will do the buy u something nice if i see it….once in a while thing…maybe pay for dinner here and there…but guess what?…i definitely aint no taking care of a dude type of chick…huh???…cant speak that language homey….if im dealing with a dude and he gets down and out…he better get UP and IN wit the F**ing program…how long is a man supposed 2 b down and out for?….theres a diference wit helping out the significant a time or 2… but DAMMIT if this gon b a FREE RIDE….too many men r out here getting spoiled and expecting 2 b taken care of…..thats NOT what i do…when i do.. what i do….and i aint the chick that got her hand out either….cuz he luv me cuz i got my OWNNN………lol
I believe you shouldn't have a problem spending money if you're in a commited relationship with someone…how can you trust someone with your body and your heart among other things and have a problem buying a gift or helping out if they hit a rough patch financially?
However, if you're going to do it it should be done freely and without reservation, if you have doubts about it that is only going to lead to regret and throwing it in that person's face later and if you do that its really just an admission that YOU played YOURSELF…
Nevermind the fact that those doubts are most likely displaced and you should be worrying less about “should I spend on this person” and more about “should I even be with this person”…
Exactly!
We talked about this on Ness' blog a few days ago, in this economy with so many people getting laid off, it is more likely now than ever that one person in a relationship may hit a rough patch but you KNOW when your man/woman is someone who is ambitious and serious about their shyt and will pick themselves up and get goin again with a quickness as opposed to a “chronic down and outter” and those are the type you shouldn't have a problem lending a hand too if it comes to that.
are you single?
yeah i spoil my boos but i expect them to do the same.
I do spoil my boos and I expect them to spoil me. My “side dude” and I have been talking for about 6 months and he always offers to buy me things and get my hair done and I don't mind spending on him because we have that type of understanding. But my “main man” is a whole different story…I guess he just has his days where he'll spend on me and days where he won't. We've only been together for a month, but he can be soo cheap sometimes.
My main squeeze get it all. There is no limit on my card for him. If I got it he got it. If I'm rocking red bottoms, he rockin something that ends in a vowel. trust his cufflinks are shining. He buys everything I need and want. And he takes great care of my truck. He is gassing her up, washing her when its time for us to floss.
I don't ever have jump-offs, so I wouldn't know how to treat one.
When we go out, we share. if he took me out to lunch, I'll pay for dinner, and he'll pay the tip and gas and tolls.
My boo gets it all.
I most definitely loved him. I thought he would be the one I married….. until he cheated on me. Long story short, I looked like a damn fool in the end. I can't say its stupid to buy things for your man, but I definitely aint the one to advise you to do it either. I thought I was making a good choice. I had known him for 2 years, we dated for almost 4 and I still looked foolish in the end for taking care of him.
lol!
lol!
but at the same time you know you run across some women who tend to think that if you don't spend money while you tryin' to get to know 'em (ya know they never know you might have thought of 'em as the one) tend to think “oh he stingy”… that's another story though.
but at the same time you know you run across some women who tend to think that if you don't spend money while you tryin' to get to know 'em (ya know they never know you might have thought of 'em as the one) tend to think “oh he stingy”… that's another story though.
wow.. i see why you don't have jumpoffs. dude have to be crazy to mess something up like that. i believe that's what every man looks for a woman that's willing to go 50/50.
wow.. i see why you don't have jumpoffs. dude have to be crazy to mess something up like that. i believe that's what every man looks for a woman that's willing to go 50/50.
lol…nope!
lol…nope!
I can agree with you Blogxilla, I've only spent money on my kids father and my ex boyfriend. Your right a women should be there for their man if he's down and out, and not throw it in his face later on down the line. I guess it depends on the bond and connection you have with one another. I volunteered to spend on them cause the both of them always spend on me. Its just nice to treat your man every once and awhile. Its suppose to be 50/50. However neither of them really wanted me to spend on them,but they didn't turn it down either!
I can agree with you Blogxilla, I've only spent money on my kids father and my ex boyfriend. Your right a women should be there for their man if he's down and out, and not throw it in his face later on down the line. I guess it depends on the bond and connection you have with one another. I volunteered to spend on them cause the both of them always spend on me. Its just nice to treat your man every once and awhile. Its suppose to be 50/50. However neither of them really wanted me to spend on them,but they didn't turn it down either!
I do not mind helping and being there…but I know that guys can become gold diggers just as well as women. But I guess you have to be careful and know what's what…My last relationship was a serious one and I helped. But I also helped with writing resumes and helped with getting that mofo job interviews, helped with interviewing skills; in the end I never said how I help or threw it in that person face. But i can say he did not deserve the kindness of my heart. I look at it in the end that is something he will have to come to grips with when he finally grows up and see what stupid mistakes he made when it came to dealing with me.
I love to spoil mines but I also like to be spoil and before any dishing come about I have to see what's up first, and yea a person has to be careful in serious relationships also.
I do not mind helping and being there…but I know that guys can become gold diggers just as well as women. But I guess you have to be careful and know what's what…My last relationship was a serious one and I helped. But I also helped with writing resumes and helped with getting that mofo job interviews, helped with interviewing skills; in the end I never said how I help or threw it in that person face. But i can say he did not deserve the kindness of my heart. I look at it in the end that is something he will have to come to grips with when he finally grows up and see what stupid mistakes he made when it came to dealing with me.
I love to spoil mines but I also like to be spoil and before any dishing come about I have to see what's up first, and yea a person has to be careful in serious relationships also.